Thursday, February 26, 2009

Irk At Work.

Irk is an odd word. Roll it around in your mouth a little. Nice and succinct, but being so compact and quickly drawn, it seems to somewhat lack the punch I feel it deserves. Merriam-Webster says:
irk (ˈərk):to make weary, irritated, or bored.
I do not generally think 'wearied' or 'bored' when I think of 'irked'. Irritated, yes, but in a way that makes the bottom of your heart quiver a smidgen in your chest. Your lips may purse, but you are not moved to action. And its this lack of response that makes irking such a potent phenomenon. The thought rattles around in your head, landing in a pile and attaching to exact copies of itself from each past occurrence of the irk. There they jumble, with no outlet or exhaust. Perhaps one day they will grow into an annoyance to be acted upon, dealt with and resolved, but for now they are too trivial. They reside, waiting only for the next worthless addition. Dictionary.com says:
irk: to irritate, annoy, or exasperate.
Now we're on the right track. I like exasperate's tone. But just a small exasperation, one that does not quite qualify. I also envision an exasperation as somewhat of a surprise or shock. This was an unexpected occurrence, almost an unbelievable annoyance; whereas an irk is an almost frequent event, verging on routine. It has happened before, and in all likelihood, it will happen again. Soon. "Aggravate" is listed under the thesaurus.com definition which may be a better fit as far as future perfect concepts are concerned.

But there is a violence to that word that has no business in irk. Whether in transgression or response, 'aggravate' bears not just the threat of action, but the promise of aggression. Likewise with 'irritate', though less threatening, it seems to convey a distinctly physical meaning. Toes may be irritated by shoes, but never irked. Perhaps because irritations heal, whereas irks are never tended to. Irks remain abstract, locked in the psyche. Poked, prodded and irritated by a non-existent finger.

Maybe that's the problem, my adjectives are centered around touch or sound. Maybe irks are smells and tastes. 'Distaste' is good but too obvious, and too easily equated to 'dislike' which does not properly express depth. The overall sensation of an unpleasant lingering flavor may be close, but tastes are too easily avoided. An irk is perceived and produced in the same instant, there are no secondary symptoms to predict its arrival. 'Repugnance' seems like an olfactory irk, but again, it is too strong. Something repugnant would be avoided, even of one could not see it. I'm not very good at thinking with my nose or tongue, so this route may be personally limited.

I try to think ethereally and arrive with 'haunt'. That's nice. There is a good amount of futility in resistance, it is repetitive and incorporeal. But like the others I find problems with this synonym. A haunting thought may be the same one drifting around again and again, as opposed to instances of the same irksome object. A pile of deciduous leaves, mental disregard allows them to and clutter and rustle.

I know this may be a futile exercise, since the word for what I'm describing already exists and is, in fact, 'irk'. At least that's what it means to me, so hopefully now, if not before, you realize how much thought and contemplation have gone into the term. So when I tell you that something irks me, I want you to understand my full meaning.


It irks me when people are told to disregard an alarm for a blanket period of time. Case in point, my building routinely places signs on all entrances instructing occupants to disregard the fire alarm today as they are being tested, worked on, etc. In fact they have laminated the signage since this happens so frequently. Excuse me? Aren't the alarms there for a reason? What if there's a fire in the building? Oh, you'll just run around telling everyone there's a fire, good, great. Why isn't that the default system every day? It should be illegal to instruct people en mass to ignore public safety alarms for anything but a concise period. This happened at my conference last week as well. We initially evacuated the building after the lights flashed and a very loud and scary alarm sounded. Later after everyone was readmitted, we were instructed via Public Address to ignore any further alarms that day. I understand the likelyhood of an incident after a false alarm may be fairly low, but these devices are meant to stimulate a response. Much like car alarms, these false fire alarms (and non-evacuations) dilute emergency procedures and make people's first response to question the alarm's validity.

The System Is Down.

Now this is nice. I like more of an explanation than "the service was out; now its not" and the incident report gives a bit more detail. Although its a little vague about exactly what happened, you get the jist that they had a bug in their server load sharing algorithm, so when one was taken off-line for maintenance, too many people were redirected to another. The "multiple downstream overload conditions" sounds like a neat cascading system of propagating errors. But maybe I'm a big dork.

P.S. The System Is Down is a nice beat for all your lightswitch rave needs.

P.S.S. I totally didn't notice this outtage and I'm on the gmails like all effing day.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Spirited Away.

Wow, this reminds me of old-timey villians who kidnap orphans and make them work changing bobbins in textile factories.  Or maybe the camp counselors who have campers produce sweatshop knock-off handbags and sell them near urine strewn underpasses. 

Two PA judges are being charged with taking kick-backs for sending children to juvenile detention centers since 2003.  It seems these judges had a tendency to skip right over probation or leniency for first time offenders, and now their victims know why.  This kind of corruption makes me want to whack a big old fat-white-dude-in-a-suit piñata.  Wait; would that be an effigy, or does it have to be burned to constitute and effigy?



Thursday, February 19, 2009

Ummm...

That doesn't look good at all...

Immoral?

There's nothing quite like surveling people when you're drunk. I mean not caring if they see you watching them. This dude is trying to "hit" something tonight, and it looks like he's got a pretty good prosptect. Although there's a close second off to the left, and honsetly, she wants it more. btw... We just finished a conversation about how he can't sleep through sirens, and will be awake anyway...

Here's johnny...

I know this is all out of order unless you subscribe to the dp rss feed, so scroll down a bit to figure out what the hell i'm talking about.

Also, does anyone subscribe to the dp rss feed? I know i discourage it with my harsh demeanor, but i won't really come to your house and teabag you if you do. Its good for the environment?

Anyway this is the faucet that is in-freaking-sane. I mean he watches you no matter where you are! Maybe it makes people feel more self conscious, but seriously when you design a fixture like this you know its happening, right?  Its not an accident.

Someone wants me to think a little smiley face is watching me wash my hands, which I'm fine with.  But I can't help but wonder about the kinds of faces he makes at people who flush the urinal and return straight to the party.   Do not anger the sink fixtures,  they can cause unimaginable misery.   Seriously, just wash your damn hands. Apparently conferences make me think of restroom etiquette.

http://www.dailyplacebo.com/2006/08/sojourn.html
http://www.dailyplacebo.com/2007/01/reverse-anthropomorphism.html

I'm not obsessed with john.

Seroiusly, I haven't spent the entire time in the pisser, but this is a little bit freaky. You know that old tale about the portrait that tracks your gaze across a room? Well feast your eyes on this bad boy; whoever designed this faucet must have known what he was doing. Close up to follow...

The watering hole.

Okay, so this is really amusing. I'm away from the socializing to make a phone call (and cause I hate socializing) and I'm observing an interesting trend. Guys are walking around this corner for the restroom and they invariably see the big-ass men's room sign. However the newbies all turn left once in the alcove, although the true entrance lies to the right. So its a pretty easy categorization. Newly drunk men walk past, turn left and then walk past again to get to the John. Guys who've had more to drink round the corner and head straight to their destination; they've been there before. And guys who are eight drinks in are standing across the hall taking pictures and blogging the whole event...

Too much info


You don't want to know this... But the dude in the stall next to me just tore the place apart.  I'm a little jealous of how quickly he completed the transaction, but at the same time I feel a little bad for snickering when it went down.  Oh well.  And now you know.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sweet Raptor-Riding-Jesus.

Just take a hott second to soak this in. [[hott second]] Now consider how many of your neighbors don't believe in evolution. And look back up at that diagram and tell me it doesn't scare you a little.

Of course that's crazy, the real whack-jobs we have to worry about will deny the existence of dinosaurs altogether. If they're willing to concede thunder lizards, they're open to conversations about facts and are reasonable people.

Just to be clear, I've got no issues with thoughts of a groovy old dude with a beard throwing down gracious love from a cloud. But if you're of the disposition to find creationism mutually exclusive with the refinement of genetics by natural selection as evidenced by fossil record and a variety of thriving organisms on our planet, then you might should head right on back to grade school for a do-over.