Gimme Your Wallet And Your Thong.

Yes, crime is a scourge and it would be terrifying to be mugged by a South American gang while waiting for a bus. But I'm willing to bet that you crack a smile when I say that authorities in Colombia are hunting for the "Knicker Robbers." They normally don't hurt their victims, but demand valuables and yes - underwear - at early morning bus stops. This sounds like a group of young men who have their priorities in line.

I can just imagine the group sitting around whatever shit-hole hideout they could find brainstorming 'hooks' they could use to help identify their gang. One member pipes up "We could steal their underwear" just as a joke cause they're running out of steam. They all chuckle for a little and it dies down. Someone else quietly says "I like underwear" Another, gazing off into the distance, barely audible "yeah..." And so the Underwear Bandits are born.

• BBC NEWS | Americas | Colombia hunts underwear robbers

$20,000,000 Skivies.

I can't tell you what a cramp changing underwear every day puts in my style. Luckily I live in the greatest country in the world and they've got my back. Sure, we get criticized for spending more money on defense than anything else in the history of mankind, but just look at the results. I mean you don't see the French military coming up with a pair of underwear that you can wear for weeks at a time. And no, that wasn't a crack about how you'd have thought the French would be the ones looking into dirty underwear technology.

Yes, the pentagon spent 20 million dollars to devise a superskivy for its troops that sometimes can't be bothered to swap out a new pair every 72 hours. The mainstay is a special water resistant bacteria retardant coating that"both kills bacteria, and forces liquids to bead and run off." I'd like you to really focus in on that statement. Forces liquids to bead and run off. Got that mental image? Nice.

• LiveScience.com - Self-Cleaning Underwear Goes Weeks Without Washing