Like, Thanksgiving And Stuff?

Well shucks. It appears to be November and I still have post stubs going back all the way to September. Lets see what we can do about that; DP style.

<-- Maybe this is why I'm psyched to see wind turbines on the horizon. I think they're pretty.

• EcoGeek: energy plant

This little future-Civic looks pretty kickass. Slap a type R badge on the back and stick a diesel under the hood and its really something to get excited about. Honda is bringing the diesel; its gonna rock; just bide your time.

• Jalponik: Type R to burn oil

Nice little tip here: cotton balls soaked in petroleum, once lit, will burn through pretty much anything. I'm gonna start carrying cotton balls and steel wool in one pocket with Vaseline and 6 volt batteries in the other.

• Lifehacker: Start a fire in the rain

We're gonna need a term for faster than fast as balls. Remember the concord? Childs' play. Forget twice the speed of sound, when you're in a hurry you need mach 5. Maybe a little faster. That's what the EU is hoping to get out of the A2; fueled by hydrogen and liquid oxygen. Looks like we keep finding reasons to love hydrogen. Now if we could just figure out how to make an ass-load of it.

• Register: Hypersonic hydrogen airliner

Yeah, you can find good stuff in the trash. Especially if you know a little something about art, apparently. Although I gotta believe if you're lookin for large cash settlements, your chances are a little better playing the lottery or jumping in front of limos.

• Treehugger: Dumpster diver finds $1m

Maybe its just cause my windows transfer more heat than a Central American arms merchant, but I'm totally in love with these windows. They have three, count em, three highly insulating panes. The center of which has a heat reflective surface like a one way valve. So in the summer you can keep heat out, but flip the frame during winter to keep heat in.

• EcoGeek: Better Windows

I know that anesthesiologists are generally very good and people normally don't wake up in the middle of surgery; but if I opened my eyes and saw a couple of surgeons standing over me with a bottle of hot sauce I would FREAK OUT. Straight-up crazy. Like they'd have to knock me unconscious with a shoe.

• AP News: Doctors test Hot Sauce

This one was gonna to be a joke about Cheney. I'm sure you can fill in the details.

• National Geographic: King tut died in hunting accident

I just couldn't resist the title of this one. Now that's good journalism. I'm not exactly sure how you make bio-fuel from lamb, but I'm sure quality is directly related to the fluffiness.

• EnvironmentalGraffiti: Cute Fluffy Lambs Sentenced to Death

This is pretty cool. It's a memory card with wifi built right in. So whenever it can find the Internet it'll upload your newest pictures whereever you want. Those chumps who bought that kodak wifi camera are kickin themselves now. Too bad my cameras take CF. Where's the Sea-FI love?

• Engadget: Eye-Fi Wifi enabled SD

Dangerous = Cool. Its just a fact of life. The more dangerous the activity, the cooler you look while doing it. For example: skydiving. Pretty cool looking. Now strap on a jetpack and some wings. Evel Knievel never dreamed of looking so good. Reminds me of the switchblade from Die Another Day, but with jet engines.

• Register: Stealth strap-on jet plane

Just Call Me Lackluster, See What Happens.

New paradigms abound.  I know it really helps marketers to lump people into groups, but something about being classified makes me not want to buy shit.  If I know you want me to buy something and I get the slightest feeling you're up to something I'm audi.  Just be glad that I don't play it like Ronin and shoot up the place.  "Got the swag, kept the money, good show!"

Nonsense segways aside, they've decided to break up the "early adopter" tag (since technically a third of people are now, and we can't all be early adopters) into several sub groups.  A quarter of the third are now called "Lackluster Veterans," which I can only assume refers to the number of times I've been burned getting hopeful about some swanky new product.  Although to be fair, it is not I that is lackluster, its your crappy products that fail to impress.

I recently realized I'm in this group because I do read about new stuff, but I have absolutely no plans to get any of it and I'm often underwhelmed.  Why just this morning a friend asked me about the iPhone (somehow people assume I'll be getting one) :

Jeadly,
In your expert technical opinion, would you switch to ATT (Cingular) because of the iPhone?  Looks so appealing.  Bluetooth.  iTunes.  Bluetooth.  But I am a Verzion Wireless customer with 4 lines on a family plan.  Contract aside…  Thoughts?

no, i would not.  I would not pay for an iphone if they had it on verizon.

But is that because of iPhone or Verizon?  Like what are 1-3 reasons why?  I mean, I think I'd rather just have a phone and then an iPod with Bluetooth.  But…  yeah.  Looks so pretty.

Uh, I've been down on gadgets lately.  Especially gadgets they tell me will change my life.  They're not going to magically fill some void I never thought possible (unless maybe I go live in the desert for 6 years and come back amazed at the advancements they've made.)  I mean, look at the "innovations" they've got lined up: live streaming video (what's the point?  video was novel, but now they're all doing it cause they can, not cause they should) stupid rings for everything imaginable (i've just gotten rid of all my rings for individual people cause I never know what it sounds like and don't know its me ringing.)

I can't run itunes all the time on my computer cause it sucks up too many resources.  I don't buy from itunes music store cause I'm not willing to pay more for no DRM.  I've been leaving my ipod in my car lately, so i don't carry it around anyway.  And I've been listening to CDs in my car that i haven't heard for a while.  I don't use my bluetooth headphones anymore cause I just don't care enough.  I've also slowed down buying music on emusic, which is trouble cause I get 40 songs a month regardless.

I've also realized that phones seem cool when you get them and then always seem played out in a year or so cause they keep one-upping the current model, just wait till apple gets on that train, they freaking laid the track in that ploy.  If i cared about the phone i had I'd look into something like helio.  But when it comes down to it they're all too expensive.  250 bucks for a phone (more for an iphone, right?) and then a hundred bucks a month is unreasonable for my needs. 30 second - 2 minute conversations, occasional text messages and moderate Internet usage.

*Sigh*  Such an old man.  What happened to the young, innocent, uncynical me that got excited about mini-discs and rios and chocolate chip pancakes wrapped around sausage on a stick?

• Techdirt: Early Adopters Not All Thrilled About Technology

Customize Your Junx.

Did you know that you can customize the signature that is appended to emails sent from your Verizon Blackberry?  All you have to do is hit:
https://bis.na.blackberry.com/html?brand=vzw
and change the form email so that I'm not bludgeoned with Verizon marketing every time you send me something.  Amazing!

And if that doesn't work we should go break a window in some Verizon executive's corner office cause that's ridiculous.

Watch This.

I haven't worn a watch since 2003. (And I sported one that summer only because I was traveling through various countries and didn't have access to a cell phone or computers but needed to be on time all the time.) This isn't because I tapped the secret lifeforce that flows through us all, or because I don't care about showing up on time. (I actually value being prompt, which makes my poor internal sense of time particularly ironic.) Its just that I don't need a watch to do it. I have three devices on my person right now that tell time. The title of this Slate article makes me think they have a little more insight but they pretty much just attribute the decline to prevalence of public displays and personal devices. Which is the educated guess I would have made too. They do have a bit of information on the downward slide of watches and the rise of wrist accessories.

"Newsweek Interactive advertising sales office revealed that fewer than half of these mostly young, urban, educated professionals were wearing watches. They don't need to. -- All of this is bad news for the watch industry—or at least for that sector of the watch industry that sells watches meant to be used to tell time, as opposed to watches that are meant to be worn as fashion accessories or as portable symbols of status and wealth."

• Slate: Why You Don't Need a Watch Anymore

I remember sitting in kindergarten while the teacher was showing the class how a clock worked. This was the first time I consciously decided not to learn something. I said to myself "I'm not paying attention to this." And I didn't. I don't know if I didn't think the content was important enough to warrant my attention, or if I had something better going on in the back of class, but as a result I didn't learn to tell time from an analog clock until the 10th grade. Well, let me revise that. I knew how to tell time, it just took me longer than it should have. Kinda like the difference between knowing how to multiply and memorizing your times tables.

So I had digital watches from around 6th grade till 10th, when I bought a watch off a kid named Marco in environmental science class for ten bucks. He had a binder full of watches. I paid with a check. It was pretty sweet with an analog display and a clear reverse panel so you could see the mechanism that automatically wound from natural wrist movements. So I forced myself into using that kind of display until the watch broke about 8 months later. I feel fine about it and hold no ill will to Marco or whatever source Marco had for these timepieces. I figure that investment surpassed my expectations at about week 3.

So I've never really worn a watch as a decoration. But maybe I should start, you know as a "portable status of wealth." And I know just the place, Bellum Watches. They scour every source they can think of to get classic old watches, refurbish and embellish them with hand engravings or whatever and sell them for god knows how much. Seriously, each one is a commissioned work, so there's no prices on the site. If a skull on the back of a Rolex doesn't say I've got cash, I don't know what will.

• Thrillist: Bellum Classic Watches

Just Follow Your Creepy ET Finger Home.

Remember the first time you saw a child tethered to a parent with bungee cord? If you're like me, you immediately thought "child on a leash, the next step will be choke collars." Well that may not have happened yet, but I still think those kids are getting treated like pets and are more likely to behave as such.

For more discerning parents, check out this wireless locating device from Dandella. They're wireless devices that glow red when you're headed the wrong way and green when you're getting close. Think of the Hot/Cold game, but useful. Actually, screw wrangling kids, I'm passing these things out next time we go out in the city. Not than anyone ever gets "lost" and needs to be wrangled...

• Engadget: Dandella handheld GPS devices simplify navigation

Clicky.

My new mouse just came in the mail today. Its pretty sweet, 8 buttons and a scroll wheel. Now I've just got to figure out what to do with them all... Also, I swear that web pages are loading faster. Is it at all possible that when you reward your computer it works better?

Work-From-Home Soldiering

OK, so this video has to be fake. Otherwise why do we have any people over there at all? The adaptiveness and anthropomorphism of this robot are definitely past the uncanny valley where human beings reject robots because they act too human-like. Something about robots carrying Ak-47's just rubs me the wrong way. I mean they should have built-in weapons systems, so that there's a chance something might misfire. Ak's are money every whichway you test them. Watch how it moves; recoiling from nearby bullet hits. There's no way a real robot reacts that way yet; right? Otherwise, watch out Boston and the overactive graffiti crowd that like to patronize your provocatively vacant walls...

• Robot sentry: google video

iBet.

There's a little back and forth over at Wired about the impending impact of the iPhone. Some think it'll be big, catering to a new type of user, while others think that they're missing the mark and trying to take the smartphone market in a direction it might not want to go. There's lots of nice points about economics and precedents that I'm not going to be able to match. All I know is what I like.

"If Apple listened to their customers, we'd have a boring phone that looks like an iPod, click-wheel and all -- that's how most envisioned the iPhone."

Uh, no. If they listened to me they'd be making bluetooth video iPods with full length touchscreens. I can wait a few years for full phone convergence, I just want my damn gadgets to play nice in the meantime. Click wheels were novel, but now they're passé. I want color tactile displays that change content if not some type of holographic flavor.

He is right about some things though, I don't give a crap about what's already out there in the smartphone market. I'm not looking for a tiny keyboard or a stylus. I don't care about syncing with outlook or continuous email contact. I want to choose the options that I need and don't care about "features" that are marketed to other demographics. Give me a wifi connection and some hardware that makes it reasonable to use the Internet and I'll scout my own hotspots and use my choice of messaging medium. That'd make for a great iPod right there, but to make an iPhone we're talking network. I'm pretty sure that monkeys in Korea can make the hardware for phones today, so unlike the iPhone's groundbreaking user interface, the GSM innards are the same old crap.

And herein lies the problem. I have an innate distrust of wireless providers. I perceive them as parasites trying to suck as much life out of me without making me pissed off enough to do something about it. The iPhone is different from an iPod not just in its interface, but in its dependence on a parasite. I don't have to use the iTunes Music Store to use my iPod. (And I don't.) Heck I don't even have to use the iTunes software to load content onto my iPod if I don't want to. But throw down for a wireless phone and you must hitch your wagon to one of these providers. Its an entirely different kind of product (with a service) and an entirely different level or customer commitment.

So we can talk all day about these things, whether or not the design is too far fetched to curry existing smartphone customers, whether its different enough to persuade new users into the market. But in the end Apple isn't even selling these things, Cingular is, so arguing about whether the iPhone will have a similar impact on the market is almost silly. Of course the phone market is more established than the portable mp3 player market was. And of course there's a larger entry hurdle for buyers to get over than with an iPod. But if you look at this from a User Interface trend perspective, screens are getting larger, functions are more familiar, and input devices are becoming more varied. People that want to peck away at tiny keys have their devices, while the rest of us have been waiting out something else. Of course someone was going to make a mobile touchscreen. Apple just got one to market first and they've got the "disruptive technology" chops to make everyone start arguing about whether this is the new wave. Its an option. If you don't like it, wait it out and the voice recognition and holographic input folks will be around the corner in a little bit.

• WIRED Blogs: Cult of Mac

To Repair Or To Replace, That Is The Question.

Reader mail, that'd be a gold mine of material.  But no, you chumps just wait till the next time you see me to ask questions.  (For you guys in Colorado, just keep waiting, I swear I'll swing by soon.)  Well Dave Zatz is flush with mail, so he's doling out advice left and right.  Take this iPod question for example.

It costs more for Apple to repair an old iPod than to buy a new one.  What do I do? 

Well for me the answer is pretty clear.  I was thinking about buying a new one two months after I bought mine and Apple came out with double the battery life.  It never had stellar endurance but now it won't last 3 metro rides (70 mins) using my bluetooth (read: external power source) headphones.  That's some weak shite.  The only reason I can stand it is that I use it at my desk(firewire), in my car (firewire FM transmitter), and at my work desk(USB 2) and pretty much nowhere else.

Anyway, Dave gives some well advised answers.  I really like the "slap the ipod against something" suggestion, although I'm not too sure about his entirely reasonable rationalization.  I'm pretty sure nothing like that is running though my head when I smack a dysfunctional piece of equipment.  Although I do check to see if it fixed the problem.  But after that, the best advice is to move on.  The iPod is so popular because it just works.  There isn't a whole bunch of configuring and tweaking.  And if it doesn't 'just work' its time to get rid of it.  I mean you could buy a Zune if you'd wanted a doorstop.

Despite my ownership of their product and plans to redouble that involvement, you may know that I've got beef with Apple's accelerated obsolescence scheme.  But this is just being sneaky about it.  Charging more to fix an old one than it costs to buy a better model.  I mean, come on!  I'd rather you tell me, 'sorry we no longer repair that kind of iPod.'

We all know how Apple has managed to squeeze so much extra play time into the newer models.  Marginally better batteries, more efficent screens, storage technology and power schemes.  Oh and by avoiding an obvious features.  I may be wrong but it sounds like Dave is a little pissed about the lack of an FM transmitter too.  They're getting to the point where there are so many models they might as well have another one with FM.  You buy that model, you sacrifice a little battery life, raise your hand if you're ok with that.  But of course I've been holding out on buying a new one in the naive belief that there's a bluetooth model coming.  Its not coming; it wouldn't 'just work.'  There are so many minor improvements that are so much easier than creating robust bluetooth compatibility; and they won't detract from the raw play time stats.   Is it too much to ask for a device that talks to my wireless headphones, car and cell phone?  Yes, yes it is.

• Zatz Not Funny: question of the day

I'll Have Your Network With His Phone And Their Services.

I saw a commercial yesterday - I dunno why I saw a commercial, I must have been spacing on the fast forward button - for a cell phone or something. It was called Helio and was almost in the style of those Old Navy commercials that make me vomit. Not so much in the dancing around to hip music trying to be a GAP ad, but in the cool young people having fun with whatever the product is. I know that sounds vague, but I'm fine with it. Anyway, the one guy finds the other guy using the phone's GPS or something (kinda cool) and the other guy says something about Google Maps on his phone. Alright, I'm listening.

Well, I wanted to find out more about this product, but I couldn't remember the name of the company (advertising is very effective on me) until I read an article about how bad Cingular sucks and someone asked what the deal with Helio was in the comments. (no one answered him) Ah! It was called Helio. Wiki to the rescue-

Helio is a MVNO joint venture between SK Telecom and Earthlink. MVNO means that they don't own any licensed spectrum but rent service from other providers. Look at the coverage map of my area. No whitespace. They've got a ton of 3G coverage that they lease from Sprint and they lease voice only access from Verizon for all the other areas. What? They only reason I'm on Verizon is because they have the most pervasive coverage in my area. They don't have the best service they have the most ubituitous service. And now they don't have that because I can go through someone else to get a hybrid service. So right out of the blocks that's sounding sweet. But there's more:

The premise of this new company would be to bring advanced mobile devices in service from SK Telecom's home market of Korea to the US wireless market, where such advanced devices had been noted, by many, to be lacking. Helio, as it was to be called, would market itself to the younger demographic, promoting itself using the latest in cutting-edge handset technology. They plan to avoid taking on the major US wireless carriers directly, and instead they intend to carve out a niche for themselves with technology-savvy consumers.

Yeah? Bringing some of that rocking handset technology over here from Korea? Awesome. And marketing themselves to a savvy consumer base sounds like they won't want to piss people off by crippling their phones.

Want some more? Ok, they realize they're selling convergence items. So after you switch over for one of their devices you can send in your old tech for cash rewards. Like the phone in my pocket is worth a $46.75 trade-in. And I'm pretty sure I've got a couple more in my glove box. But its not just phones. They want iPods, PSPs, cameras, PDAs whatever your new convergence device is replacing. I mean, sure maybe you could get more for it on eBay if you're willing to put a bit more effort into it. But I find it very refreshing for a company to embrace convergence and enable its customers' transition.

That and the options look so freaking simple. Pick a phone, pick how many minutes you want and pick a data option. 65 or 40 bucks a month. I obviously need to look around a little more but this sounds like the kind of company I'm angling for.

• Helio | Drift, Hero, & Kickflip cell phones, MySpace Mobile, buddy beacon, mobile games, & more

Look Into My Eyes And Smell My Arm.

This is odd. Its a patch that you wear on your wrist or arm that emits a fragrance rather than a drug. And the aroma is sposed to make you randy. I'm not exactly sure what the target audience is here. Unless there are a bunch of people out there who wish they were hornier than they naturally are. I feel like most of these things will be used in the pursuit of altering someone else's state. They don't dissolve in liquid though, so you'll have to think of another plan. They come in two varieties mens' and womens' so plan your strategy and order carefully. You'd hate to wake up in the morning and find that you'd attracted the wrong flavor of companion.

• Strange New Products: Sniff Your Wrist to get Horny

Also on the olfactory front: humans are better at smelling than you think. They're just out of practice. Researchers conducted a study whereby they made blindfolded college kids sniff out a scent trail to chocolate through grass. Anyone else think that sounds demeaning and hilarious?

• Slashdot | Human Sense of Smell Underestimated

Oh, That's The Charger For A 9454b, Not A 9455b.

Freaking phone companies, they squeeze every last drop out of you. But now China could be paving the way for us all. They're trying to mandate a standard charging interface for cell phones. That'd be super guys, and if the plan to have use USB as the standard maybe we'll finally get some phones that sync with computers and don't waste all kinds of power. But that's probably just crazytalk.

• Techdirt: China To Mandate Standardized Phone Chargers

Oh, and I did some research on USB. Its kinda interesting stuff, coming up with data transfer standards and seeing the various incarnations. No, wait. Maybe its only interesting to me.

• Universal Serial Bus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Stones Squeal On Hog Line Burns.

Now granted I've only been curling for like half a season, but I hadn't really considered that one of the most controversial calls in the sport is a hog line violation. See, you slide off the hack with a 44 lb stone while balancing on a Teflon sole against a sheet of ice. 33 feet out is the "hog line" which is the plane by which you have to have released the stone. If anyone touches the rock after that line it is "burned" and removed from play.
I'm not really coming that close to a hog line violation, I usually release a couple feet before the line, so I never really thought about having to make these close calls. Obviously you wouldn't touch the stone if you knew you were over the line, and at competitive Speils there are hog line judges to make sure.

Like the digital timer and electric starting gun, technology is being used to absolutely differentiate as athletes push the boundaries of rules. These rocks have circuitry in them that detects when the thrower's hand lets go as well as detect when the stone passes the hog line. Hang on a fraction too long and red lights flash on the stone so you know to remove it. Pretty cool stuff, but at 650 bones a pop its a little prohibitive for smaller clubs. But next time I see a national competition on TV I'll be looking for these babies.

• Eye on the Hog

Google Update.

I'll try and get this out of the way as quickly as possible for you non-fanboys.

Extremely premature speculation about a Google branded phone. Hell yeah; I believe I suggested this when I spazzed out about apple in September of 2005. Anyway, there are rumors that they're talking with Orange and HTC to get their mobile search on. I can't freakin wait. But I will, because unlike some companies, I expect Google to do this right.

• The Google phone - coming soon? - Download Squad

I pretty much only use Google Maps to find the locations of stuff online. (was talking with a friend on the phone last week and he said "hang on, let me Google Map it" which made me smile, cause the standard used to be Map Quest or some other service that I can't even remember now.) Anyway, Google Maps has been getting better and better. (the call feature, the my locations feature) But now they're getting around to adding things that everyone has been asking for. Like directions to multiple locations. Yahoo! maps had this a while ago, and I nearly switched over for it. Luckily now I can stop at a liquor store on my way to wherever I'm headed and I don't have to use a Yahoo! product to find it.

• Google Maps multiple destinations - Lifehacker

Patents are becoming more important, especially since there's a kind of cold war going on. Companies snatching up all the patents they can, and making them as broad as they can, so that when (yeah I said when) they get sued for patent infringement they can threaten a counter-suit with a just as frivolously vague patent on some other technology. I can't wait for the first three way patent escalation litigation. Well, Google's tapped into the US patent system so you can see if your idea for a hood mounted turtle slingshot has already been claimed. Or I spose you could use it to get your hopes up about new Apple products that'll never be released.

• Official Google Blog: Now you can search for U.S. patents

Step 4C: Insert Positronic Brain.

I've been thinking about toys recently, and I've concluded that adult toys are better than kids' toys. Well, they can be; for adults. And I had a conversation with someone about this and didn't realize that 'adult toys' usually means something else until the other person said it for the first time. So let me just say, no, not that kind of adult toys.

But there are a few problems with grown-up toys. First is where to learn about all these cool things. You have to scour every model shop, dork convention, and the entirety of the Internet to know that robotic bartenders, pogo stick hydrofoils, fuel cell car models, and remote controlled jets even exist. There is no "Adult Toys 'R' Us" (not that kind of toy) where you can stroll down the isle and see representatives for every conceivable group. It takes hard work just to figure out what you want.

Once you have something in mind, the problem of where to get one still remains. I know from first hand experience the pang of buyer's remorse, as the real McCoy didn't quite match up with my lofty expectations. Its very difficult to judge quality or feasibility of things without being able to lay your hands on one. Like I said, there's no "Adult Toys 'R' Us" where you can go try it before you buy it.

And of course there is the largest obstacle to adult toys, their price. I've had my Carrera priced out for years now and I'm nowhere close to imagining that I could afford it. So you kinda have to keep a lid of your dreams; shoot for the slightly inconceivable and you just might get there. It also helps not to lust after the brand name.

We have to start de-conditioning ourselves. As a good little American I was taught from a young age that store bought goodness one-uped any homemade contraption. While some of the time I did rig my own toys and imagine them up to spec, I still believed that a packaged toy was better. This is not so with adult toys. It takes some work to get over the hurdle and put faith in yourself that given the right tools and materials, maybe even the right kit, you can one-up the store and their piddly wares. Just look at websites like make and hack-a-day and you'll see people making cool stuff every day. Shrug off that iPod and RAZR ad campaign. Make your own adult toys and be proud of yourself for once.

So now I'll leave you with an excerpt from a wired article about making a robot from a prefabricated kit. Its an entertaining and quick read. I'd recommend it to anyone who has dissuaded themselves from building something they wanted.

There's an odd, Asimovian irony to having to put together your own robot; it seems like the sort of thing you'd want a robot to do for you.
...
The next chapter tells me that the bags of parts are clearly labeled, and I should under no circumstances open a bag before I'm told. The first set of parts I need is in bag B. I look around for bag B, and it turns out it's sealed inside bag E, which I haven't been told to open yet. This is why a robot can't assemble a robot.

• Wired News: A Robot That Walks Like a Gorilla