That's Not A Polo Helmet.

The world is becoming more dangerous every day. the opposition is threatening our way-of-life from their straw hovels half a world away. More than any other demographic, babies are vulnerable and unable to defend themelves from terrorist attack. Until now. Protect your baby with a flak jacket or baby taser from bulletproofbaby.net. High quality defensive apparel and equipment are sure to nurture your baby with the feeling of safety that only a fleece-lined ballistic fabric can provide. Make sure to watch the video demo of the bullet-proof stroller with retractable blast shield.

• Bullet Proof Baby

CBS Tries Its Hand At 'The Office'

Tired of playing second fiddle with its terrible ideas, CBS is grabbing the concept for The Office and putting their own spin on it.  David Spade will replace Steve Carell as the zany office manager, with various other, minor, changes in characters.

"The budding romance between Jen and Tom is really the foundation of the show," said director Howard Gatson, who has made their connection "more believable" by casting more traditionally attractive actors in the roles. "People are going to tune in every week to see if Jen will ever leave her fiancé to be with Tom. And they'll be so relieved when she finally does in episode three."

Dwayne will play a more stern, grizzled Iraq war veteran that will lend more credibility to his authority.  CBS is also making various format changes to suit their viewers, mostly making the show less confusing.

The faux-documentary format has been dropped in favor of a traditional three-camera setup, and a laugh track has been added to fill in any painful, awkward pauses in dialogue that might slow down the show.

Removing disorienting camera angles and telling viewers when to laugh should go a long way in enticing typical CBS audiences to stick around.  Of course there are critics that say thowing the same concept with different actors won't automatically produce a hit show, but CBS remains optimistic and is venturing forward with near reckless abandon.

They have already commissioned two 12-episode seasons of the reworked sitcom, tentatively titled The Office, and slotted the show for their most competitive time slot, Thursdays at 8:30 p.m.

• CBS To Release Own Version Of NBC's The Office | America's Finest News Source

The NFL Is Full Of It.

You know what I'm talking about. Those warnings at the beginning of football games that say "you can't use this telecast, or any representation of the events that are about to transpire without the commissioner of football personally coming to your house and patting your butt. Oh and the NFL now owns your dog too." Seems unreasonable doesn't it? Well it is, and a law professor was using it as an example of copyright holders exaggerating their rights. She used a short snippet (just the copyright warning) for educational purposes, which you might think would fall under fair use. But the NFL disagrees and sent her a DMCA takedown notice. Ah yes, the DMCA (that wonderfully thought out and well justified corporate fire blanket) strikes again. This but this time the irony of a false DMCA claim to shut someone up for pointing out false copyright claims is just too much. What kind of abuses are going to make our law makers take another look at this misguided and easily exploited law?

• TechDirt: DMCA Takedown for professor showing how copyright owners exaggerate their rights
• Wikipedia: DMCA
  
• Google Search: "DMCA abuse" (547 results)

I Bet Crude Oil Tastes Great!

Ethanol gets me so riled up. I mean, sure its a great way to stop using foreign oil and prop up the sagging farm industry. You know, aside from its general inefficiency, its failure to address the Neanderthalic burning-stuff-for-power lack of innovation, and the destruction of a perfectly useful commodity. People have been taking it up lately because that's a great way to impress the middle of the country. You know that same, unimproved commodity you're been growing all your life? Well turns out that it just got 7 times more expensive! Bullshit.

You want to grow power? Plant a field full of photo voltaic cells that do a much better job of harnessing sunlight and turning it into usable fuel. And I won't need to subsidize you cause it won't be ridiculously expensive to turn a mild profit.

Sorry I finally got around to watching "Who Killed the Electric Car" so I'm very angry about inferior alternatives being pushed out because they may benefit a small subset of people for a short time. These hydrogen and ethanol technologies that are the "salvation of the energy dependence" completely fail to address the issue of environmental efficacy. Electric cars have been around since the beginning of cars, but we've been distracted all this time by a better advertised, but less effective, alternative. Don't get suckered in again. Don't buy an "efficient" 42mpg hybrid, don't wait around 5 years for a "where the hell will the fuel come from, oh its expensive and inefficient to create" hydrogen drive vehicle. There are gigawatts of electricity out there in wind, sunlight, and waves just waiting to be harvested. And electric cars the possess durability and performance to make use of that free power NOW, without the need to throw billions into "future research".

So next time you feel pressured to use one of these "new innovations" in fuel, reply that you're more temped to crack open a can of 10W-30 instead of Gatorade at the gym.

• Ethanol in America: "Our Crop. Our Fuel. Our Country." (TreeHugger)
• Checkbiotech.org: Ethanol's corn-fed boom holds hidden costs: higher food prices

Bacon Wrapped In Tiger.

So who wants to guess what's going on here? No, that tiger isn't saving the piggies till snack time, they actually live together at a kind of freak-show zoo in Thailand. Incongruous species are kept in the same enclosure and, as in this case, sometimes raised by foster parents of another species. So don't think you can rummage through your closet to find those tiger print hotpants and jump into the tiger pit at your local zoo. You'd get taken down faster than a three legged zebra on the savanna.

• Urban Legends Reference Pages: Tiger and Piglets

Mom, I Need To Stop At The Liquor Store Before The Science Fair.

While we're talking about kids with bright futures, hop on over to The Nonist for some photoshoped (but hilarious) pictures of up and coming scientists. I mean "Ballooner of scrotums"? That's gold Jerry.

• The Nonist: The science fair