Check Under Your Bed Tonight.

I'm not really sure why this picture just screams "Khaaan!" to me. I mean apparently Kirk wasn't even raising his arms when he screamed it in Wrath Of Kahn.

In fact the more I look at it I'm sure its a "Fuck you I'm an anteater" photo. Although maybe he's saying "Fuck you this is my good side".

Anyway, this dude is a Giant rat caught in China. We're talking 6 pounds with 12 inch tail and 1 inch teeth. A big creepy crawly. I bet he'd give a normal cat a run for his money.

I would not want to run into this dude in a dark alley, much less jump on top of it while others encircled it as this slightly insane Chinese man did. He then stuffed it in a sack and took it home. Yeah.

• Environmental Graffiti: Giant Rat Caught in China!

You're Jamming Up My Tivo.

So last night I watched three (count 'em, three) blocks of Olympics that my Tivo box snagged for me. The first I believe was a reasonable 4 hour block which contained some swimming finals (that I'd already read about 6 times before I got home) and other mildly interesting things like diving and gymnastics. The second was a 7 (SEVEN!) hour time sink with soccer, table tennis, beach volleyball, rowing, etc. And the final block was the most reasonably clipped 3 hour Olympic coverage I've experienced with kayaking, boxing and women's basketball.

Now you may be saying to yourself "Sweet son of jambalaya! How in the name of Zeus' butt hole did you manage to fit 14 hours of tv in after an 8 hour work day?" To which I respond, you my friend are not aquainted with tivo's 60x fwd mode and judicious use of the "skip to the next half hour mark" button. So while I'm aware that fits of soccer and boxing flashed on my screen, I wouldn't say that I watched any of those events. The table tenis and kayaking were interesting for a while, but I gotta tell you those Olypmic badmitten players are goddamn insane! I can't even keep track of the shuttlecock and they're smashing and diving all over the place to keep that badboy up. Don't miss out.

Of course once I was done fast-forwarding through NBC's saptastic coverage I had to stop watching tv, because my Tivo hasn't been able to record ANYTHING else for the past two days. Nice job, NBC scheduling gurus, you completely boxed-out the competition. Too bad the result isn't increased eyeball to NBC time, but rather me throwing in a DVD for the first time in several months.

Wordsmith Sam.

"This is to officially inform you that we have verified your payment file and found out that why you have not received your fund is because you have not fulfilled the obligations given to you in respect of your contract/inheritance payment.

"Secondly we have been informed that you are still dealing with the none officials in the bank all your attempt to secure the release of the fund to you. We wish to advise you that such an illegal act like this have to stop if you wishes to receive your payment since we have decided to bring a solution to your problem. Right now we have arranged your payment through our swift card payment center Asia pacific, that is the latest instruction from Economic community of west African States (ECOWAS) and Ghana Government."

Wow, Sam-the-scam, you're really uping your game. Some of these sentences actually make a little bit of sense. "that why you have not received is because", whew it was all I could do not to just send you my checkbook right then. Of course then you go and accuse me of dealing with the none officials, which is just plain libelous. I have never dealt with, or to, a none official in my life. In fact, I'm pretty sure you just made that noise up. Also, Sam, aren't we kinda jumping into the middle of the scam here? I mean you haven't even offered me an ungodly sum of money for little or no work. And I haven't told you that all I have is this $15,000 that I need for tuition payments but if I can get six million back then I guess I could help your uncle's nephew's room-mate's friend's congressional aide's barber funnel illegal funds out of the country. Maybe you're just hoping I'll confuse you with one of the twelve other scammers I'm in frequent communication with. Then maybe "verifying a payment file" would make a lick of sense and I'd be worried about my illegal actions with none bank officials. Well, Sam, I'm sure I'll hear from you again and its good to know that your English is progressing nicely. Ta.

What's That Square Thing?

Wow, I'm glad my regatta yesterday didn't have this kind of unscheduled interruption. A sailboat and a Spanish submarine played a little game of tag as the sailboat narrowly failed to avoid the stern of the sub. I'm pretty sure this doesn't happen too often but you'd think sub crews would have a method for saying "please don't hit me." Yeah, I spose they're designed to have a low profile and blend in with the sea, but it seems like they shouldn't get snuck up accidentally on by a sailboat.

• Submarine disrupts the Vuelta España a Vela

A Finely Choreographed Brain Hemorrhage.

Holy Bejezus. What in the world was going on here that you decided to create the traffic control equivalent of a black hole? My brain is swelling up just trying to figure out what is sposed to happen in this thing. But that may be because everyone is driving on the wrong side of the road. Be warned, spend too much time thinking about this and your brain may explode. I have no idea what would happen if I came across one of these in a car. I guess I'll just avoid Swindon like the traffic circle plague.

• SwindonWeb - Swindon Life - Magic Roundabout Swindon

Put A Sack Of Bricks In The Trunk.

I've often thought that we need different classes of license for driving. Like some people would be relegated to driving only between 3-6 in the morning every other Thursday, while others would be restricted to special low speed tunnels constructed under every city. I know, lofty goals, but you gotta have dreams. Well the UK is thinking of instituting another type of licensing policy. This would require more training as a car's weight to power ratio drops. I think mostly they're getting tired of people crashing up Veyrons; something no one likes to see. Extra lessons would include how to properly set up for turns and handle the frothy power-crazed beasts they've laid out for.

Of course your ratio changes based on the weight of the car, so you might be in an odd situation where you're licensed to drive 4 of your fattest friends around, but not to drive yourself to the store. Heck, that sounds like some great carpool legislation right there. See that? I'm so full of good ideas, they just fall out of my brain.


Sample Weight to Power Ratios:

1. Formula One Racer - 1333 lbs (with balast and driver) / 750hp (mandated smaller V8 engines) = 1.78 lb/hp
   
2. Bugatti Veyron - 4162 lbs / 1001 hp = 4.16 lb/hp
   
3. Porsche Carrera GT - 3043 lbs / 612 hp = 4.97 lb/hp
4. Corvette Z06 - 3132 lbs / 505 hp = 6.2 lb/hp
5. Dodge Viper - 3380 lbs / 535 hp = 6.32 lb/hp
6. Lotus Exige GT3 - 2050lbs / 271 hp = 7.56 lb/hp
7. 2007 BMW M3 - 3386 lbs / 420 hp = 8.06 lb/hp
8. Audi RS 4 - 3634 lbs / 414 hp = 8.78 lb/hp
9. Boxster S - 2987 lbs / 295 hp = 10.1 lb/hp
   
10. WRX Sti - 3351 lbs / 293 hp= 11.44 lb/hp
    
11. Honda S2000 - 2835 lbs / 240 hp = 11.81 lb/hp
12. BMW Mini Cooper S GP - 2579 lbs / 214 hp = 12.05 lb/hp
13. Mitsu Evo IX - 3086 lbs / 255 hp = 12.10 lb/hp
14. Mazda RX-8 - 3029 lbs / 237 hp = 12.78 lb/hp
15. Acura RSX Type S - 2775 lbs / 210 hp = 13.21 lb/hp
    
16. VW R32 - 3256 lbs / 241 hp = 13.51 lb/hp
17. 2006 BMW 330ci - 3450 lbs / 255 hp = 13.53 lb/hp
18. Celica GTS - 2500 lbs / 180 hp = 13.89 lb/hp
    
19. Lotus Elise S - 1896 lbs / 134 hp = 14.15 lb/hp
20. Miata MX-5 - 2414 lbs / 170 hp = 14.20 lb/hp
    
21. Acura TSX - 3318 lbs / 200 hp = 16.59 lb/hp
    
22. VW Jetta TDI - 3197 lbs / 90 hp = 35.52 lb/hp

• Exotic car owners need 'therapy' - Autoblog