Lies In Sheep's Clothing.

TechDirt has an article about the RIAA and MPAA spreading their own "truth" through the guise of education. A while ago the MPAA sent a bunch of partisans into schools to spread the "its stolen if you didn't pay for it" philosophy. Super, but now the RIAA is following suit and plans to send a video to colleges to get all those theiving bastards under control.

How the hell do they plan on getting college students to sit down and watch to that crap? Will it be an in-class lecture? Cause I'm pretty sure I'd be pissed off if they wasted my time and money like that. And you know me, I never get pissed off. The video is pretty heavy on scare tactics. 'Just look at all these people we've screwed with lawsuits. It could be you.' That's the only reason I can imagine colleges requesting this video, to avoid lawsuits.

I think we should take the same action that I used in college to drive AOL out of business. Taking their discs and never watching them. You can glue them to the wall or play frisbee golf with them. (cds fly surprisingly far when thrown properly) Head over to their site and order your dvd copy today. You'll have to mascarade as a college to get one, so I guess I'll have to watch "Accepted" to do some research.

Techdirt: RIAA Following MPAA's Lead In Brainwashing Kids

And I've Been Using My Legs Like A Sucker.

Still confused about web 2.0? Well you should be in all honestly. Its confusing and ill defined. I wish there was a site you could go to that would tell you about the new popular (but not so popular that its stupid like the myspace) thing in web 2.0. Yeah, its a good idea, but its not mine. The folks at web 2 logo dot com got to it first. I took a look at the top 50 list and found that I actively use 20 of them (albeit Google does own a bunch). I don't want to get into whether or not sites should qualify, or if this service will make other 2.0 services easier to find and therefore less cool. I also don't want to discuss that fact that Daily Placebo isn't in there. I told you, we're 1.6 not 2.0.

web2logo.com

When I Was Your Age We Didn't Have Laptops.

On my way home from work last week I saw a guy walking home from school with his two young kids. It was very sweet, but then I got to thinking. The guy was carrying their backpacks, the smaller child had a tiny pack easily slung over the shoulder. While the (slightly) older child had one of those wheeled backpacks more similar to carry-on luggage. And here's where I get to thinking. When I have kids, I am in no way ready or qualified to have kids, and they reach the point that they can no longer lift the required books I'm getting (or making) them ebook readers. I'll buy the books in paperless format, or failing that I'll work out some machine for scanning them.

See, I hated carrying books around in school. Its ridiculous carrying 1600 pages around when you use like 15 a day. Finally in high school I got the idea to hide my books in the classrooms around school. Which worked well till I got caught by an unreasonable teacher. Then I got the idea not to bring my books at all, which worked out surprisingly well. But its not like I had any other options. Why aren't schools embracing ebooks rather than shelling out for quickly outdated and easily (and hilariously) vandalized pages?

I understand there's something nice about leafing through a book, but we're definately past the point of 8 year olds lugging 70 pounds of paper home and back again. Google knows what I'm on about. And many college text books are now available for download to students who are trying to save on book bills. The future is as close as you're willing to allow.

Google offers free book downloads - Lifehacker

Update
Oh yeah. By the time I have kids in school ereaders will be bad-ass.
Philips READIUS E-Reader Scroll Prototype - Gizmodo
LG Phillips E-book: Flexible Means Flexibility - Gizmodo

Momentus Occasions.

Well, all you diehard Placebo addicts know why today is special. For all you recreational users, I'll count to ten while you dive through the archives to look it up.
...
..
.

Ok, that's as long as I can wait. If you didn't find it, here: August 31, 2005. (I swear, you guys can't do anything for yourselves.) That's right this is the day chosen to mark the erumpent arrival of my favorite nephew. Happy first birthday little dude, may all your falls be lessons, your sucesses humbling, and your dreams the caliber of greatness.

Step 4C: Insert Positronic Brain.

I've been thinking about toys recently, and I've concluded that adult toys are better than kids' toys. Well, they can be; for adults. And I had a conversation with someone about this and didn't realize that 'adult toys' usually means something else until the other person said it for the first time. So let me just say, no, not that kind of adult toys.

But there are a few problems with grown-up toys. First is where to learn about all these cool things. You have to scour every model shop, dork convention, and the entirety of the Internet to know that robotic bartenders, pogo stick hydrofoils, fuel cell car models, and remote controlled jets even exist. There is no "Adult Toys 'R' Us" (not that kind of toy) where you can stroll down the isle and see representatives for every conceivable group. It takes hard work just to figure out what you want.

Once you have something in mind, the problem of where to get one still remains. I know from first hand experience the pang of buyer's remorse, as the real McCoy didn't quite match up with my lofty expectations. Its very difficult to judge quality or feasibility of things without being able to lay your hands on one. Like I said, there's no "Adult Toys 'R' Us" where you can go try it before you buy it.

And of course there is the largest obstacle to adult toys, their price. I've had my Carrera priced out for years now and I'm nowhere close to imagining that I could afford it. So you kinda have to keep a lid of your dreams; shoot for the slightly inconceivable and you just might get there. It also helps not to lust after the brand name.

We have to start de-conditioning ourselves. As a good little American I was taught from a young age that store bought goodness one-uped any homemade contraption. While some of the time I did rig my own toys and imagine them up to spec, I still believed that a packaged toy was better. This is not so with adult toys. It takes some work to get over the hurdle and put faith in yourself that given the right tools and materials, maybe even the right kit, you can one-up the store and their piddly wares. Just look at websites like make and hack-a-day and you'll see people making cool stuff every day. Shrug off that iPod and RAZR ad campaign. Make your own adult toys and be proud of yourself for once.

So now I'll leave you with an excerpt from a wired article about making a robot from a prefabricated kit. Its an entertaining and quick read. I'd recommend it to anyone who has dissuaded themselves from building something they wanted.

There's an odd, Asimovian irony to having to put together your own robot; it seems like the sort of thing you'd want a robot to do for you.
...
The next chapter tells me that the bags of parts are clearly labeled, and I should under no circumstances open a bag before I'm told. The first set of parts I need is in bag B. I look around for bag B, and it turns out it's sealed inside bag E, which I haven't been told to open yet. This is why a robot can't assemble a robot.

• Wired News: A Robot That Walks Like a Gorilla

Impatience Is A Virtue

That's the story I'm going with, cause I've got impatience to spare. Now as you all know, Arrested Development season three was released yesterday. I am not currently in possession of a copy because I hurt. I don't mean I am hurt. I hurt. I've been going on a wicked regiment of not running or exercising this second half of the summer; a la the summer or George.

So this regatta I sailed in, and kicked ass at, on Sunday has me kinda roughed up. We ended up sailing like 18 miles more than everyone else because our pre-race transportation options fell through and we proceeded to the start under wind power. So we sailed longer, harder, and faster than everyone else out there. Some people just want it more; and those people were us. 8:00 till 3:00 is a full day on a little boat in 15 knots of wind. If you know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about, if not I don't know what I can do for you. Here, read this.

Anyway, I'm stiff all over and really didn't like the prospect of running around to try and find my dvds. So I broke my rule and ordered them from Amazon on Monday, right after I ordered my groceries from peapod. They shipped at 5:15 Tuesday morning, which has me fairly optimistic. So back to my impatience. I looked at my tracking information just now and saw that my package had reached the local sorting facility, about 15 miles from my house. I immediately thought "I wish I could go over there and pick it up, so I'll get it today." Stupid. That's the whole reason you ordered it in the first place. So that you didn't have to drive anywhere and get it. So call my Arrested Development fanaticism into question if you must, but I'm not going anywhere.

Update
Damn! Good job Postal Service! I can't believe that my order showed up today. You guys deserve a cookie. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be busy for the next 285 minutes.

You Can't Drown, You Fool, You're Immortal

I'd like to talk a little about immortality. When I seriously consider it, I think that some scientists will devise a means of immortality before my death. Something like figuring out which part of our dna ages us, or developing a process of cell replacement with younger cells. Or even growing a duplicate body and figuring out how to transfer a person's consciousness into it. I dunno, that's for them to figure out.

I also believe that it won't be cheap. So you'll have to be damn rich to be able to have the procedure done. Whether its a reoccurring thing (a daily dose or once every 40 years) or even if its a one time procedure, whoever thinks of it will charge the hell out of the people that want it. It'll become some kind of elitist classism, those who live and those who die. And as we all know, the longer you live the greater your chances for making money. Just look at the highlander, Fry, or like any vampire you can think of. Immortals are loaded. Just from hanging around for long enough.

Now think about the kind of personality most people who'd do this would have. Egotistical, superior, either scared or fearless. Plus, despite their freakishly young looks, they'd be old people and resentful of youth and how the world has changed. Face it all the cool old people are fine with dying. They say stuff like "Am I dying or is this my birthday?" or "That guy's got to stop. . . . He'll see us." So I've got a decision to make. Either join all those rich immortal assholes, or think of something cool to say by the time I die.

The Last Words of Real People

More Baby Steps To Greatness.

Alright, I'm not sure how tricky or useful you'll find this. It isn't so much real world sneakery, its for computering. So all you who try not to muck about in folders and menus can disregard this step and backpedal to "learn to use a computer." The rest of you, lets press on.

I find the 'send to' function on the right click context menu to be very useful. But you may say, "yeah, but I don't want to 'send to' any of those options." Well neither do I, so what I do is make a shortcut to the 'send to' folder and put it in the 'send to' folder. That way modifying my option list is as easy as creating a shortcut.

If you already get what I mean from the previous description, good job, use it or not. Its up to you. If you need a little more get ready, I'm only doing this once.

1. head to your user folder ie: c:/documents and settings/{username}
2. if you don't see a folder titled "send to" hit 'tools>>folder options...' then 'view' and find the 'show hidden files and folders' radio button.
   
3. once you've shown the hidden files right click on the "send to" folder and hit 'create shortcut.'
4. drag and drop "shortcut to send to" into "send to" ( you can rename the shortcut if you'd like)
   

That's it. Now you can start adding your own 'send to' folders.
For instance, I've just configured this particular machine to run FireFox when I logon. I made a "Shortcut to Startup" using the 'send to' >> 'Desktop (create shortcut)' option and then sent the new shortcut to 'send to'.

• Last time's 'Baby Steps To Greatness'

Lazy Damn Robots.

Something is wrong here. This isn't just about robots simulating human laziness. This is about motivation. Why in the world would you develop a bipedal robot, overcoming hurdle after gyroscopic hurdle, and then make him ride on a wheeled transport device designed for bipeds? Couldn't you have just made a wheeled robot to begin with? Its a classic case of climbing Mt Everest "because its there." What's next, Asimo learns to take dictation on a PC keyboard?

• The Korea Times : Korean Robot to Drive 2-Wheeled Scooter

Annoying Phrase Of The Month.

Wow that was fast. I saw Snakes on A Plane last week. For anyone who doesn't know, the only reason people go see that movie is to see Samuel L. Jackson deliver the line:

I've had it with these motherfuckin snakes on this motherfuckin plane!

And it was amusing. But now the line is out of control. Its everywhere: news headlines, conversations, tv. I can't even remember all the times I've heard or read it in the last week. It wouldn't be so bad if it was a direct quote, but every single time its applied to whatever situation someone is in. Snakes on a raft, snakes on a map, snakes on a bus, snakes on a lunchbreak. Don't change the damn words! We know there's no plane and no snakes, but we will be able to figure out that you're pissed off about something. It ridiculous and it needs to stop. If you're willing to yell and get angry and drop the f-bomb like Sam, fine, you can say it; but I don't want to hear any more of these pansy-ass watered down renditions fit for a soccer mom on her way to yoga class. I've had it with these MOTHERFUCKING snakes on this MOTHERFUCKING plane.