Thursday, January 14, 2010

(Now) Open Letter to Comcast (douche-bags)

See what you made me do Comcast? You made me start blagging again. Your fault.
Here's the "Customer Feedback" I spent about 40 minutes trying to submit and actually had to have a "Chat Representative" tell me how to find. (just so you know, it's here: http://www.comcast.com/customers/feedback/default.cspx ) You mofoes better go take some website structure design classes or something.


I am furious after trying to use your website and phone lines to lodge a complaint about your digital cable transition. I was angry when I turned on my tv and was informed that I would no longer receive 80% of the channels I'm paying (too much) for. But after viewing the offerings on your website I am irate. It is very clear that this is a deliberate effort to bilk your customers out more money per month. Where is the limited basic cable (analog) offering that I'm now receiving; no matter how many times more my bill is than its value? This service is worth no more than $15 a month, and less in many markets. How many customers do you suppose will keep paying you three or four times more than your services are worth to them?

I understand what DTV is and why some people may value it over analog sources. I don't want another comcast box, on demand programming or HD channels. I don't want your remote or your DVRs. I want the same lower quality, lower overhead format of the channels I've been paying you to convey for years. You are a conduit, not a hardware vendor. This ploy of forcing your customers to become more entwined and controlled by your vertical monopoly will result in demonstrable backlash. It will start here. I will degrade my service to limited cable or I will cancel it completely. I was paying you for analog signal. If I'd wanted digital TV you wouldn't have had a customer, that stuff is floating all around us. Free as air. Lyman out.
Comcast is very lucky to not be a tenant in my building. Cause I'm pretty sure I'd be throwing tennis balls at his windows and leaving bags of poop in front of the door.

Update:
So I forgot to include the full text of the message displayed on my tv screen for those of you who can't read small words, click on images, or are actually blind. (what? screen readers do text, not images. At least not images without alt tags, ie: all of mine.)
  • We have removed features from your service.
  • We think your shit is too old.
  • Now you have to pay us $5 for every tv you have. Every month.
  • We own your ass, bitch.