Thursday, March 29, 2007

I Couldn't Find A Men's Space.

I let handicapped spots slide, based on those few times I've actually seen someone that needed a closer parking space use them.  (WTF is up with all these people that get handicapped tags but are not hobbling into the store?)  And I occasionally feel bad when I think of parking in one of those "mothers to be" reserved parking spaces.  (Lets face it, its their own damn fault that they're in that condition to begin with.)

But I'm pretty sure my head will explode if I ever see a "women only" parking space.  I mean, no I don't feel unsafe in parking lots (except that one by the Food Lion and Radioshack, you know which one I'm talking about) and don't think I need to be under video surveillance to help protect me.  But if you can make some spots safer, why not make them all safer?  If you paint a bunch of spaces pink, you're basically highlighting the places where the criminals should assault their victims.

So obviously I don't fault the men of Bern for parking in these suggested chivalry zones.  But I do wonder what creative steps garages might take to shame them out of the habit.

Thank You, Comeagain.

KWIKEMARTS.JPG
Alright, I'll have to admit when I first heard about the Simpsons' movie I thought it was a joke.  I'm not sure why; plenty of other shows have gone on to the big screen.  South Park, X-files, Firefly, The Brady Bunch... wait there must be a site about this.  Anyway I'm coming to grips with the fact that its going down, and I think this will help: they're changing several 7-11s into Kwik-E-Marts as a promotion.  I hope they go all out and don't just drape a lame banner over the sign.  That's right, I want fine hand ticking on the Apu name tag, an expired meat bin, and a Ganesh statue in the "employee lounge".

Did You Read The Whole Thing?

Right on the heels of that multitasking article where I basically accuse you of having ADHD, I also applaud you for reading news on the net.  Cause while, some aspects of computers seem to reduce users' attention spans, online news readers actually tend to finish articles they start.  At least moreso compared to their inky handed counterparts.

A study tracked readers' eye movements for 30 days as they read news for 15 minutes from online periodicals, print newspapers, or print tabloids.  They found that online readers tended to read 15% more than print readers.  And a full 2/3 of online readers actually finished the whole article.

Techdirt lays this all on the "continued on page 14" truncation that tends to happen in print, and while I think that's a part of it I can't help but ponder other reasons for the disparity.  It might be that online articles are shorter, or aren't written at that insulting 10th grade level (mine are usually just insulting), or there's maybe more information.  But I'd like to attribute it to targeted content; at least that's what I glean from "Just 25% of print readers are scanners, who scan the entire page first, then choose a story to read."  If you just started reading things as they are presented to you (by an editor or general aggregator  that tries to meet the need of every reader) you'll naturally run across quite a few articles that you, quite honestly, don't give a rat's ass about.  So I think its our learned behavior of actively searching for information on the Internet that accounts for the difference.  Its a naturally interactive experience, rather than having something (literally) brought to you in print.

Take that one step further and don't just read through the pages of a single online periodical.  RSS that noise.  If you're scanning an RSS reader, you've personally selected the sources that contribute to it because they tend to post things that interest you.  If you get through scanning the headline and want more, chances are you'll want to finish the article.  Targeted content baby, its like a rodeo clown with a pooper-scooper; without it there's just a bunch of bullshit.

Ribbon Snipped In Valencia.

With racing just under a week away, things are gearing up in Spain.  When the Swiss team announced that Valencia would be the locale for defending the America's Cup in 2007 the city sprang into action to develop a world class facility to host the event.  Billed as the greatest sailing stadium in the world, Port America's Cup (I'm still not sold on the name) boasts three marinas, 12 team bases, an International Broadcast Center, a Media Center, along with the AC Park, and a landmark building.  Add in public entertainment areas, restaurants, bars, café, exhibitions and Marina offering 636 berths and you've got a a pretty rocking party.  Lets hope we can get ample coverage from my side of the pond.



Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Photo Amble.


I wonder if I'll eventually feel less skeezy about walking around with no particular goal just taking pictures of random stuff.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Whiners.

I warned you guys that I was gonna spread the word about how you deliver poorly designed, costly, and ultimately unusable equipment.  And now, all because of me, Massachusetts has chosen AutoMark over Diebold as their evoting supplier.  Nice work guys, stick it to those son-of-bitches.

But don't break out the party hats and vodka-redbulls yet, cause Diebold thinks they have one more trick up their sleeve.  They're suing Massachusetts over the Secretary Of State's decision.  Its a little confusing to me, because they don't seem to be running with any accusations of kickbacks or wrongdoing, just that they think the state made the wrong decision.  Their "proof" lies in the contracts that they've bested AutoMark for in various other states.  You know, all those places that basically got screwed by faulty hardware, shoddy code, inadequate security, reprehensible customer support that refuses to fix or acknowledge problems, and obstructed investigations under the guise of protecting trade secrets.

And even putting all those customer relations fiascos aside, Massachusetts actually did user testing with the disabled population that would be employing the machines.  And they liked AutoMark better, straight up.  The only claim I can possibly see Diebold having is if Masachusetts took the surveys on Diebold machines, then they might have a case for voter fraud or machine error.

Watch out Diebold or you're going to make the list, whoops, too late.

Devious.

Whew, hang on to your socks for some late Cold War subdued aggression goodness.  Unless you're not into huge nations squabbling to the detriment of the overall human achievement...

The year is 1982 and the CIA has been receiving reports about the KGB's vast network of industrial spies that have been siphoning information from America's technical achievements.  The agency has taken measures to falsify development of fictitious programs and imaginary inventions in hopes of poisoning the Russian's stolen information stream.  And it is working; there are numerous CCR industries that just couldn't get American technology off the ground, from aircraft to machine parts to chemical tech.

But word filters through about a Russian desire for pipeline automation software that the US government has officially denied them access to.  So when KGB agents pilfer the code from a firm in Canada, they are blissfully unaware of the CIA trojan sleeping deep in the lines.  The pipeline is built and is operational for a few months when the subroutine springs into action.

The controls are set to over-capacity pressure and after enough joints and welds are compromised, the pipeline ruptures in a three kiloton blast.  Sensors at NORAD spike indicating a nuclear test, but no launch trajectory is conformed.  The CIA calmly tells various arms of the defense department not to worry about it, but the records remain classified, and the explosion a mystery, for 14 years until 1996.

More details:

Fakers.

Well, well.  Looks like all those kids with their "multi-tasking" were just blowing smoke up your ass.  Turns out they're just easily distracted.  I know that shifting focus quickly between a couple tasks can be helpful, but there comes a point where it can become a problem.  And of course there are different definitions of multitasking, be it just thinking about a problem while completing a less demanding task like tying you shoes, talking on the phone while driving, or watching TV and holding a conversation.  In each of these cases there's a debate over whether you're actually splitting your attention or applying your full consciousness for short intervals.

We've gotten this stigma where multitasking has somehow become automatically attractive or efficient, but that's not always the case.  Are all these tasks really so trivial that they couldn't be done better or faster with your full attention?  In the age of diagnosing and treating kids with ADD at the drop of a hat, why not de-incentivise promiscuous attention?  We should teach kids how to prioritize and complete something before encouraging them to throw their already limited attention to the winds.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Place Your Bets.

With the Louis Vuitton Cup only about a week away, its getting awful wagery in here. The betting started against Alinghi at the outset, silly punters, but the odds swung around as Alinghi laid out the smack on Team NZ. I'm pretty sure I already blew any gambling money I had on that $80 shirt a while ago.

Lady Killer Invasion.


Well, I saw my first ladybug of the year, folks. You know what that means. Its time to begin the vigil again and save the world from coccinellidae revolution. Sure you laugh now, but lets see you laugh when you have 7 ladybug assassins sent to dispatch you while you sleep.

And just cause I know you're wondering, yes it was very nerve wracking to get close enough to take this picture. I don't have a telephoto lens yet.

Walkin On Liquor.

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6oz of whatever you want in the soles of your sandals.  Its gonna be a good week.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Normal Is As Normal Does.

choc-bilby.jpg
This cute little son-of-a-bitch is called a bilby.  No, its not a photoshop or a rat on his way to a costume party.  They don't have rabbits in Australia, so this is what comes hopping around on Easter morning with a basket full of candy to bribe the kiddos.  I'm not really sure how I got subverted into thinking that chocolate rabbits are somehow normal or acceptable, but this thing looks weird.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Still Good, Thanks.

Remember that article about the creepy glass walkway that was being built over the Grand Canyon?  Well its been inaugurated and is all set for public consumption on March 28th.  Only six days!  What a perfect number.  I'm not booking plane tickets or anything but if you do decide to blow 25 bucks on this make sure you go early, before years of poor maintenance and unexpected harmonics compromise the structure.  Lets start the "something terrible's bound to happen" clock.  And take some nice pictures.  The BBC isn't planning on going either:
Are you planning to visit the platform? Send us your comments. If you take any pictures of the view you can send them to yourpics@bbc.co.uk.

Those Pants Are Painted On.

NewScientist has a bit about upcoming technologies and one from the 19th was "auto-snug" clothing.  The idea is that clothes would be made of tiny muscle wires that can change length when a current is passed through them.  Think Back To The Future 2 when Marty impersonates his son and the jacket auto sizes for him.  So you'd have clothes that, while they weren't made just for you, fit like they were.  Kinda interesting, but I can see several problems with this. 

1) I have no issue with the way pretty much all pants with my numbers fit.  I don't need them any snugger.

2) Lets assume we're talking more fitted than the length by width size scheme that's already in place.  We're talking about a suit or basically any article of women's clothing. (I love not having to buy women's clothes)  How do the pants, or whatever sizing mechanism they use know what size to make the clothes?  Do bring your size on a data card from store to store?  Would you have someone encode your measurements on said card?  What if they change?

3) You've got to figure out how to make this less expensive than taking traditional clothes to be altered.  I'm gonna guess right now its not close.

4) Can someone figure out how to unsnug clothes once you're out of the store?  I dunno, some kind of microwave or other wireless signal to freak out the muscle fibers.  And before you say no one would do that, stop.  I would.


Where'd You Get That?

mslabel.jpg
Here's an interesting concept.  Marking products to identify how they got to the store.  I feel like "air freighted" would have been a plus a few years ago, a mark of distinction and rarity.  That's not the purpose of this exercise though.  Its meant to make consumers aware of the efforts, expenditures and waste that goes into just getting stuff to you.  In this case its just marking food, cause I'm pretty sure every non-perishable item for sale in the US has had some percent flown somewhere.  And while keeping this in mind for those kinds of merchandise is good too, buying local food makes sense on lots of levels.  Supporting local industry, reducing transportation costs and emissions, eliminating packaging.  Oh, and its better food too.

Perfect Guess.

I forget why but I told this story at a family gathering recently.

It was during the first few weeks of my time at a new school.  I'd transfered in the middle of spring, 7th grade.  I was sitting in the back of math class not paying attention for some reason.  Maybe Tom and I were stabbing each other with mechanical pencils to see who would make a noise first and get caught.  Or maybe Joe was farting and blaming it on me, and I was busy giving him a "what the fuck is wrong with you" look.  Doesn't really matter, point is there was that background dim of a 7th grade math teacher droning on about something or other.  Its amazing how your name cuts through a room, slices your brain and pulls your attention out.  Yes, the teacher had called on me.  "Give me an example of a perfect number".  She knew I hadn't been listening and she was about to make an example out of me.  I immediately responded "Six." with a conviction that surprised even myself.  I had no idea what constituted a perfect number, or even heard of the concept before, but I'd always liked six.  So concise, so streamlined, so obviously perfect.  She looked at me for a second and said "very good" and turned back to the board to continue with the lesson.

Well, hell, that was lucky.  It peaked my interest enough to listen and try to figure out why my answer was right before going back to my fart denials, or whatever.  But it wasn't really that easy to figure out cause she was on to the next topic and I could only glean so much before she erased the board to make more space.  I surmised that a perfect number is an integer that is divisible by both even and odd numbers.

Wrong.

My Sister-in-law sent me this yesterday:
A perfect number is defined as an integer which is the sum of its proper positive divisors, that is, the sum of the positive divisors not including the number. Equivalently, a perfect number is a number that is half the sum of all of its positive divisors, or σ(n) = 2 n. The first perfect number is 6, because 1, 2 and 3 are its proper positive divisors and 1 + 2 + 3 = 6. The next perfect number is 28 = 1 + 2 + 4 + 7 + 14. The next perfect numbers are 496 and 8128.


Suck on that Ms. Weinberger.  I didn't know then and I apparently still don't know what a perfect number is.  And apparently I got much luckier than I thought, cause perfect numbers by my definition are way more common.  There's no way I'd pull 496 or 8128 out of my ass.

Toyger?

Toyger in cat bed photo
Hmm...  Yes I spose if I were to own a cat it would be cool to have a tiny tiger running around my house.  But the name 'toyger' is just unpalatable to me.  People would assume either that I have a speech impediment, or that I'm from Holland.  I mean, even if labradoodles weren't stupid I couldn't get one.  Cause then I'd have to admit to people that "yes, he's a labradoodle" and that's just not something I think I could do. 

Oh, also, there's an International Cat Association?  (TICA, because they include The in their acronym, which I'm just going to leave at that)  I can only imagine what those specimens look like at their annual meeting...

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Wash Label Cipher.

My dad sent me this one. There's a small clothing company in Washington state that produces apparel that's sold in France. As a result the care instructions appear in English and French. But the French readers out there get a little bonus, the last two lines aren't included in the English section:
Nous sommes desoles que notre president soit un idiot.
Nous n'avons pas vote pour lui.

Translates to:
We are sorry that our president is an idiot.
We didn't vote for him.

Snap.

Well, I pulled the trigger (or maybe I should say shutter release) on a new camera.  I've been thinking about it for a while now.  You may recall that I was debating buying a camera or a TV the year before I bought my TV.  Anyway, I did my taxes this week and decided it was time to get all up ons with a DSLR.  For those of you who don't know, that means 'fancy camera box'.  I went into the project thinking that I'd just spend my tax refund on it, but that's not gonna cut it.  Although it is cheaper than my TV was.  So far.  See, I went for the XTi kit which is the body with a 18-55mm lens included (so I don't have to shop around right away) for about a benjamin more.  All the reviews said it was an ok lens, worth about the hundred, but you get what you pay for.  So I will eventually want to get another lens, which at 300-500 for a reasonable one will boost me up beyond flat TV range.  But I figure I'll feel better about myself going out and taking pictures than sitting around watching movies.

Anyway, I hope to share a few nicer shots here once in a while, but don't worry, I'll still thrown down the angry diatribe now and then too.  It won't be a camera blag.  (Oh btw if you're lookin for a camera blag, DPS seems pretty cool.  I'm gonna look to do their weekly assignments if I can.  The first rule of photography club is 'don't talk about photography club')

Speaking of angry... I checked out my Picasa Web Albums the other day (clearing out space for all the great pictures I'm gonna have) and I noticed a new unlisted album called Daily Placebo.  It was a listing of all the images I'd uploaded to Blogger's servers since December.  There weren't an excessive amount cause I've been slacking a bit in the visual aid department, but there were about 50.  I did a little checking around and found this entry over at Blogger explaining what's up. They're commingling services so its easier to keep track of images you have hosted online.  Which is true, it was always tricky keeping track or managing uploaded content.  But I also see that they detract from the (granted, recently expanded) free space your account is allowed at Picasa Web.  And they're working to transfer all the images I've ever uploaded to Blogger into that account.  Whoa there boys.  I always liked that you could upload whatever to Blogger and have it hosted in perpetuity with no discernible limits.  I'm not really chomping at the bit to pay 25 bucks a year to host the trivial pictures that sometimes accompany posts on DP.  And I'm pretty afraid I'll fill up that 1 Gig of free space right quick.  I mean, I just bough a 2 Gig card and I think I may need another.

So I guess I'm not really angry, just surprised.  It would have been nice if they'd provided this as an opt-in kinda program.  I know that it'll take a while for 2k images to overtake my gig of free storage, but I'm a disk space scrooge.  ( Just picture me diving into a money vault of free disk space.  Oh man, I need to buy some Duck Tales)  I think its also a little off putting that I have three times the space for email as I do for pictures and I know for a fact I can shoot a gig of pictures in about three hours.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Did You Know That Amazon.com Sells Bats?

I did not. Did you? More importantly, do I care that Amazon sells bats? No. No I don't.

Can't Keep A Good Liver Down.

The liver is the earthworm of human organs.  Slice it in two and it'll grow into two livers that work as well as the first.  Well, you've got to start off with a very healthy liver in the first place, and you've gotta make a transplant to give the thing somewhere to live, but its still pretty cool.  I'd never heard of split liver transplants till I read this story from the AP.  A 21 year-old in dire need of a liver transplant allowed surgeons to carve off a chunk of the liver she'd waited months for so they could give it to an ailing baby girl.  Its not very common, only 2 or 3 percent of the 6,000 liver transplants are split each year.  While it does take an act of selflessness on the sharer's part, surgeons could be splitting up to 1,000 healthy donated livers, giving more people a chance at making it and reducing the waiting list.  The trouble is coordinating efforts, proximity of patients, and of course broaching the subject of implanting partial organs.  I'd like to think my liver would be fit for splitting, I mean I've been exercising it pretty rigorously since I was 21, so he's gotta be in great shape.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Renting movies? What is this, 1989?

Alright, so I finally got my Amazon Unbox and TiVo speaking.  I'm not really sure what the issue was (I have a hunch it was because I changed the email address of my TiVo account and some setting didn't transfer) anyway I unlinked at Amazon an left it a couple days.  When I came back it showed Boothroyd in my Amazon download options.  (yes, I named my TiVo after Major Boothroyd, big whoop, wanna fight about it?)  Great, now I just had to find a movie to download.  It should be one that I kinda want to see but probably don't want to buy.

I did not read any reviews of Idiocracy.  I did not read any plot summaries or tag lines or any anything about this movie.  I just saw the name and assumed it was a commentary of the current state of our government and a social commentary on idiots controlling the most powerful country in the world.  I was mistaken.  Sorely mistaken.  If you haven't seen it, don't.  Let me just say this "Reverse Encinoman without the added bonus of Polly Shore."  Yes, having Polly Shore would have made this movie better.

So its guess its good I didn't buy the DVD, and I technically didn't pay to see it since amazon gave me 15 bucks to mess around with on Unbox.  But still, I'd like to try and do a little better next time.  I didn't.  I rented Scoop.  Yeah, I know, but its tough picking a movie that I don't already own or plan on buying.  And I figure Scarlet Johansen is pretty hot, and I like to laugh a Hugh Jackman's name, so what the hell. 

Goodness, that was bad.  I mean, no, not as bad as Idiocracy, but that's really not saying anything.  Woody Allen's character was just painful and Scarlett's character made the back of my hand itchy, if you get my meaning.  Aristocrat philanderer and murderer Peter Lyman was ably played by Hugh Jackman.  Hehe, Hugh Jackman.

Well strike two, its beginning to look like renting movies is not for me.  Not because the downloading doesn't work, and not because of the file restrictions and not because of the film quality.  That's all fine, but it seems that if I don't want to own a movie, I don't even want to watch it once.

Alright, last try, I pick the Devil Wears Prada.  Which was fine.  What's-her-face is cute, and the acting was fine.  Yeah, I don't need to own this, but I'm fine with seeing it.  Whew saved the strikeout, but I don't know if I'm willing to drop 4 bones to download a movie.  I guess it depends on the library the choose to stock on the Unbox TiVo section.  Hear that Amazon?  You're on shaky ground because you need more slightly mediocre but entertaining movies.  Not too good, but not too Idiocracy.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Tips For Life

Before you decide to run from the cops, make sure they're chasing you.

A drunk driver in Texas incited cops to give chase by speeding away from patrol cars that were involved in an unrelated robbery pursuit.  I'm not really sure if this counts as paranoia, but it sure smacks of self-fulfilling DWI.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Boobies And Cars.

Alright, I'm all signed up.  I have a z4 roadster and a 328Ci reserved for an afternoon next month during which I'm going to drive for charity.  BMW has a partnership with the Susan G. Komen foundation to help fight breast cancer and test drive cars.  BMW will donate a buck to the foundation for every mile you drive.  The cars are painted up with pink ribbons so everyone will know what you're about.  I guess I should start mapping the route I'll follow, taking into account the fastest path to highways and locations of planned speed traps.  Wonder if they'll be suspicious if I come back in an hour with 90 miles under my belt.

More Anonymous?

Google has announced that they'll start making old data about your searches more anonymous after 18 months...

Uh, the TLF (vis techdirt) makes a good point about anonymity being a bit of a binary descriptor.  Although in practice there are varying levels of anonymity, data that houses the capability to identify an individual does not meet the requirements of anonymity.  As in the varying levels of reasonable security, you may have to do a bit of work to extract the information, but a truly secure location cannot be breached and truly anonymous data cannot be used to identify persons.  So the modifier "more" in this case seems like a bit of a PR move, rather than actual technical specifications about the data they house.  They don't want to give the impression that they're keeping identifiable information about you for two years, but they are.  Just ask anyone who's Googled how to kill your spouse and then actually done it.

Tips For Life

Don't eat a can of cake frosting.  It seems like a good idea at the outset, but just trust me.  It is not.

DP Wiki: Tips for life

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Bloggers' Dozen.

Its that time again, yes, time to clean out the inbox of all the week-old noteworthy/interesting/sophomoric things that I meant to blag about but didn't find the time. And just like your local bakery, we're charging half price for these week-olds. What's half of nothing again? Lemme get my calculator out...

Jump over to the Seitch and marvel at the mobile disaster unit they've got. Its a trailer that uses solar and wind collectors to treat contaminated water, provide 16Kw of emergency electricity and 30 miles of wireless connectivity. No mention of cost as the company is still lining up investors but this looks like a pretty sweet solution for the variable anarchy disasters cause by knocking out utilities.
France and Spain turned off their lights at 7:55 on February 1st this year as a message to leaders about global warming. The electric system in France saw an 800 MW dip while Spain saw a 1,000 change. Wow. From residential lighting. For reference a 2005 vintage Nuclear power plant will produce 600-1200 MW. Everyone go buy CFLs.
I would love to look out my window and see giant wind turbines slowly fueling the electric grid dotting the horizon. All those freaking NIMBY groups need to shut the feck up. Or maybe I should start a STFUAYBY group and we can go egg whiners' houses in our spare time. Anyway, the Seitch has a look at some beautiful and large renewable resource power plants that I would love to see more of. Sweet mother of pearl, that's a big turbine.
Beer. Tossing. Fridge. I know I don't need to say any more, but I will anyway. This recent MIT grad decided to put some of his robotics skills to actual use and converted his mini-fridge into a remote controlled beer whipping bar caddy. This is the kinda thing Rodney Dangerfield would have in his golf bag. Watch the video for more. Yes, CNN has video of this. Although, only a six-pack in the magazine? Please, that's not gonna get any work done.
Wish you had to chew energy drinks more? Like that whole spitting culture, but don't want mouth cancer? Tired of worshiping at the alter of the office coffee maker? Well, have we got an update for you. SumSeeds are sunflower seeds coated in all the goodness you'll find in redbull or amp or juced or whatever the newest disgusting drink you dirtballs are drinking now instead of actually going to bed. Its amazing that the human race of antiquity got anything done without being fueled by guarana and taurine.
Amazon and TiVo sitting in a tree... D-O-W-N-L-O-A-D-I-N-G. Alright maybe that breaks the meter, but they're certainly hooking up. For some people. I tried to link my Amazon account and my TiVo account and got a generic error. The help support gave me the canned response of basically "Did you try what you already tried?" which they would have realized if they'd actually read my email. Super support guys, that's the way to start a new service. Not that I'm actually gonna pay to rent or buy movies on Amazon Unboxed but it would be nice to try it out.
Well, someone has to do it and the SKers think they've got enough of a jump on the rest of us that is might as well be them. They expect to have a robot in every home by 2020 and are working to develop rules for robot human interaction. Some people expect the rules to closely model Isaac Asimov's 3 rules, while others want their robots to be able to pistol whip or kill if needed. Didn't you guys actually read any of Isaac's books? They're mostly about how the three laws are not impervious to complicated logic and will be circumvented as AI progresses. Hell, they even dipped into it in the Will Smith movie, so you really don't have an excuse.
Speaking of robots pistol whipping and killing (those are decision making tasks at heart, which is the only reason your PC isn't pistol whipping you right now), scientists are working on machines that will make medical decisions that closely approximate a patient's wishes. Its to be used in cases where someone hasn't created an advanced directive and is unable to make decisions themselves. Studies have resulted in surrogate decision makers only getting the call right 68% of the time, so these machines don't really have a very high bar to get over. Researchers hope to eventually hit a target of 90% accuracy. Of course there'll be quite the debate over letting machines assume this responsibility before the first machine gets to pull the plug.
No, not the Queen or Prince Philip, royalties. The small dividend that is paid for a commercial use of someone's copyrighted work. The Copyright Royalties Board is looking to double the amount paid per track by Internet radio stations. Now, its beyond me why there's a central committee in charge of pricing this stuff or why they're trying to jack the actual legitimate services out of business, but this seems like an odd move. Its just going to drive traffic to sites that don't pay any royalties and haven't been caught yet. We had a nice equilibrium of payment and service going but somehow consumers getting product, companies getting paid, and artists getting publicity just wasn't hacking it.
Microsoft has been going off on piracy lately with their WGA near spyware and government sponsored witch hunts in Russia. But at the end of the day, they really hope that you pirate their software and not their competitors. Its almost as if they realize that scarcity economics don't really apply to their industry. If someone isn't going to buy the software you haven't lost money. But if they get to like your product then they're more likely to get a new version which means increased sales over driving them to a freeware or open source competitor. Sound reasoning, how will you put it into action?

Wow, I'd have thought Blues Traveler was a really chill guy. But checkout the plethora of assault rifles he had in his trunk "in case of a natural disaster." I don't know if I can listen to his songs anymore without wondering if he's got a machine gun guitar like el Mariachi.

Things Should Work.

Well, Casino Royale came out on DVD yesterday. Its not so much a question of whether I'll get it, but how soon I'll get it. So I was about to watch it last night and I popped it into the DVD player. Nothing happened. Weird. I took it out and put it back in. Nothing. Did I buy the blueray version somehow? No... I try the special features disc and it works. I put the feature disc back in and again, nothing. Now At this point I'm pretty sure that I got a bum disc and I'll have to go back to the store to get a new one. Which also means that I won't be watching it now and I was kinda excited cause I don't remember everything that happened when I saw it in the theatre.

But I have access to a few other DVD players, so I pop it into my computer and it starts up a little flash intro that lets me click to visit the website or play the movie or some other option I don't really care about. Huh, so the disc is readable. I try to play the movie and Media Player comes back with an error about needing enhanced drivers for the device. And my thoughts immediately jump to DRM. Have they come up with a new scheme to disenfranchise actual paying customers? Is this a new rootkit that's gonna screw my computer to bejezus and back? Will I seriously not be able to watch this movie on my home theatre because movie executives assume I'm trying to steal a movie I've already bought?

All of these seem like reasonable assumptions as I head to the next DVD device in my line of sight, the good old PS2. He's set up with his own 19" tv behind my bedroom door and hardly gets any play anymore since that playboy of a Wii moved in. Pop it in. Loading... Loading... Loading... The PS2 didn't come equipped with the best DVD software invented so I imagine if it doesn't play in the normal DVD player its not likely here. But it does! The menu comes up and I pick a scene, the little black box dives right in! Huh, who woulda thunk it?

Back to the living room, I try it in the 1st DVD player again. Maybe the disc is warmed up now or something, I dunno. Same thing, it reads for way too long and then displays all 0's on the disc clock. The play, pause, stop, FF, RW and skip buttons all result in the annoying "this operation is not currently supported" symbol on screen. I'm a little pissed off, one or two stages from whacking the crap out of the DVD player. But before I proceed to that step of the device repair manual I decide to press every button on the thing. I start with the menu button. And it goes to the menu. What? You must be kidding. The disc just doesn't have an auto-run file? I just spend the last ten minutes inspecting the bottom of the disc and cursing the MPAA because you suck at designing DVDs? I've never, ever, ever seen this before and I've seen over 240 movies.

Well, lesson learned, if your disc doesn't work, press menu. Now you know. And knowing is half... good.

Friday, March 09, 2007

For A Good Time, Call.

Hmmm... who gets paid for talking on the phone?  Tech support guys...  video game tipsters...  Uh, can you think of any more clean examples?

Skype is adding a feature where one party can request to be paid (either an upfront fee or by the minute) for carrying on a conversation.  So now you can start whatever kind of phone based moneymaking scheme you've been dreaming of, without having to be completely legit.  Of course Skype reserves 30% of the fee for themselves, but passes the rest directly into your Paypal account.  (Is 30% a pretty standard pimping fee, or are they way off base here?)

Watch This.

I haven't worn a watch since 2003. (And I sported one that summer only because I was traveling through various countries and didn't have access to a cell phone or computers but needed to be on time all the time.) This isn't because I tapped the secret lifeforce that flows through us all, or because I don't care about showing up on time. (I actually value being prompt, which makes my poor internal sense of time particularly ironic.) Its just that I don't need a watch to do it. I have three devices on my person right now that tell time. The title of this Slate article makes me think they have a little more insight but they pretty much just attribute the decline to prevalence of public displays and personal devices. Which is the educated guess I would have made too. They do have a bit of information on the downward slide of watches and the rise of wrist accessories.

"Newsweek Interactive advertising sales office revealed that fewer than half of these mostly young, urban, educated professionals were wearing watches. They don't need to. -- All of this is bad news for the watch industry—or at least for that sector of the watch industry that sells watches meant to be used to tell time, as opposed to watches that are meant to be worn as fashion accessories or as portable symbols of status and wealth."

I remember sitting in kindergarten while the teacher was showing the class how a clock worked. This was the first time I consciously decided not to learn something. I said to myself "I'm not paying attention to this." And I didn't. I don't know if I didn't think the content was important enough to warrant my attention, or if I had something better going on in the back of class, but as a result I didn't learn to tell time from an analog clock until the 10th grade. Well, let me revise that. I knew how to tell time, it just took me longer than it should have. Kinda like the difference between knowing how to multiply and memorizing your times tables.

So I had digital watches from around 6th grade till 10th, when I bought a watch off a kid named Marco in environmental science class for ten bucks. He had a binder full of watches. I paid with a check. It was pretty sweet with an analog display and a clear reverse panel so you could see the mechanism that automatically wound from natural wrist movements. So I forced myself into using that kind of display until the watch broke about 8 months later. I feel fine about it and hold no ill will to Marco or whatever source Marco had for these timepieces. I figure that investment surpassed my expectations at about week 3.

So I've never really worn a watch as a decoration. But maybe I should start, you know as a "portable status of wealth." And I know just the place, Bellum Watches. They scour every source they can think of to get classic old watches, refurbish and embellish them with hand engravings or whatever and sell them for god knows how much. Seriously, each one is a commissioned work, so there's no prices on the site. If a skull on the back of a Rolex doesn't say I've got cash, I don't know what will.

Whipped Cream Cheese Is A Scam.

You know what I'm talking about.  Selling me less of the same thing for more sounds pretty sweet if you're on the selling end of the deal.  But I can't really see why people buy that stuff.  Do they say "gee, I like cream cheese, I just wish I could spread more air on my bagel at the same time" ?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Kitchen Ambush.

You might know that I normally have nothing but good things to say about mayonnaise.  That is great stuff, and whoever thought of it first was a goddamn mad scientist.  That preface aside, let me say this: I was attacked by my mayonnaise.  You read that right, attacked suddenly and deliberately.  I believe I am now in a defacto state of war with mayo.

You know those big honking jars fit for some kind of luncheon or family reunion cookout?  Well, that's how I roll.  I was fixing a tuna sammich and consolidating white gold from the big jar into the smaller squeeze bottle.  (That is also how I roll.)  Anyway, I smacked the jar against the counter after scooping out a good amount and a dollop flew out of the jar, straight up a good foot and a half, and smacked me directly in the face.  Now, I don't know if you've ever had mayo in your eye (I'm gonna go ahead and assume you haven't) but there are several thoughts that pass through one's mind.  I like to call these "The Seven Stages of Having Mayo in Your Eye." 
  1. Wonder - "What the hell just happened?  Do I have mayo in my eye?"
  2. Pain - A sharp, stinging, pain that you might associate with a mustard or relish, rather than a delicious treat like this.
  3. Panic - "What do I do?  How do you get mayo out of your eye?  Is there a procedure?  Should I call someone?"
  4. Thickness assessment - At this point you'll try to guestimate exactly how much mayo went into your eye.  Its more than you think.  Partially because you wouldn't think you'd get mayo in your eye, but mostly because mayo always attacks in groups.  And blinking and moving your eye around will evenly distribute the dollop on your cornea.  This will alleviate most of the acute pain, but it'll create a makeshift cataract and you won't be able so see anything but light and color.
  5. Wild splashing - You'll begin to understand that blinking and crying won't get this done.  So you whip the tap open full bore and proceed to splash water all over, mostly not actually in your eye.
  6. Worry - Self remedy accomplished, you feel as much mayo as possible has been washed out.  But you still can't really see.  You may go find a mirror and examine the damage with your good eye.  (If you're lucky enough to be the victim of a monocular attack)  It will be god-awful red and your vision will be blurry, although not quite as cataract blurry as before.
  7. Acceptance -  "Screw it, I'm gonna go eat that sammich I paid so dearly for."
Got that?  And just to help you remember I thunk up this handy mnemonic:
Why Pick Pansies or Tulips When Wildflowers Abound?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

New Music

Amie Street has signed a deal with Nettwerks to distribute the label's music, which includes the new Barenaked Ladies' CD.  Great!  What's Amie Street?

Apparently its another independent music source that shells out plain old Mp3s to its users.  Kinda like emusic, but it seems more socially oriented.  They've got a cool pricing scheme where users submit music and the songs start out as free downloads.  Then as a file's popularity increases, so does the cost of download.  (don't worry, it maxes out at 98 cents)  So its kinda like if you want other people to do the work of finding cool new music for you (popular music), you'll pay a premium, but if you're out there scouting the nobodies you may come off with a bargain.  I signed up for an account and the site seems pretty well put together.  You can group your purchases together into one zip file and and create a play list in the little music previewer.  They've gotten a barrage of hits because of the new music deal and its not as quick as they'd like, so if you sign up now they'll throw a little cash your way to get you stated. 

Getting Around To Bluetooth.

Maybe my whole concept of Bluetooth is off.  When I first heard of it I thought it was just another wireless scheme dreamed up by wireless keyboard manufacturers that would be just as useless as all the other proprietary wireless devices I own.  But then I learned a little more about it and I thought it might be useful.  Personal networks, adhoc mobile networks, anywhere you want local wireless communication.

So recently I read this article about a bluetooth stereo that's sposed to pair up with a wide array of phones and other BT devices.  And I thought, "So?  Isn't that what BT is sposed to be about?"  High compatibility based on compliance with standard profiles?  Devices are sposed to handshake and say "hi, I'm a headphone" "hi, headphone, I'm a phone.  I know what to do with you."  But that's about as far as I've actually seen the technology go, making business people indistinguishable from raving lunatics on the metro.  And that might be because the first BT device I owned was a crippled Verizon phone.

I was halfway through writing this post when I realized that I just assumed that my phone was useless as a bluetooth device.  But I'd never tried it.  So I dive into my Pocket PC, enable the Bluetooth and open the BT manager.  Switch to my V710 handset and cruise over to the Bluetooth settings.  (The only reason I could find it is cause I'm terribly smart and remember how I turned it off when I first got it.)  Alright, test time, I click "Find Me" to enable discoverable mode for 60 seconds.  Hit "new" in the PPC manager and select "explore a Bluetooth device" cause I don't really know what to expect from my phone.  I pair the two and the PPC comes back with: 
"This device does not have any usable services, please activate any desired services and try again."

Sweet.  I figured maybe this was the end of it, cause I was prepared for the worst.  But I tried again.  You'd think I was a fool taking the same actions and expecting different results, but this time it came back with a dial-up networking profile.  Interesting.  I enter my skype number and a fake username and password.  Then the most surprising thing I could have imagined, actually happened.  The phone dialed.  It was as exhilarating as watching the moon landing.

I poked around a little more and tried the option to create a BT link for internet access (not dial-up) but my phone wasn't on the list of supported devices (surprise, surprise) and it started up the dial-up connection.  Probably because that's the only profile left after Verizon stripped out all the useful guts of actual Bluetooth.  So I can't use the piss poor low bandwidth connection I pay Verizon for, but I may be able to access a dial-up ISP through it.  Anyone know a free dial-up that I can mess around with?

And as I thought, I couldn't browse the files of a remote device because there's no profile for that, sneaky verizon, trying to make me download content from them.  But wait a second, my PPC has an sd slot and my transflash card (some of you may remember that its now called micro sd ) came with an sd adapter, so I don't even need bluetooth to liberate all those grainy, embarassing cell phone pictures. 

P.S.  I also discovered that my stylus kicks ass at cleaning my phone's lens.


Need to Seat 16?

Check out this bit of sneakish designing.  Its an expandable seat that uses accordion-like sections to bend, twist and shrink if need be.  I know, you've got to have kind of a plywood decor going for this to feel at home in your living room, but the concept alone should buy it some leeway.  Just think, now you won't have to ransack the neighbor's when you invite way too many people over for the game.

Flagrant Lies.

I wish I had a good excuse for not posting in a few days.  I spose I could take a page from Peter Chianca's playbook and just lie.

Please excuse my lack of blogging of late; I'm currently scaling the Himalayas with my dog Rocky and my loyal manservant, Lorenzo. It's very difficult to blog from here, since most of the caves with WiFi are already fully occupied by coffee-drinking slackers.

He had me going till the bit about his manservant.  I mean, I assume he's lying.  Either that or his life kicks ass. 
I am all about making up ridiculous lies, but how to make them ridiculous enough...

Please excuse my lack of blogging as of late, I am at an
amusement park .  There are lots of
yellow things to eat. You can start off with a hot dog on
a jack with mustard, relish, and pens
on it. Then you can have a buttered ear of hat with a
nice white slice of watermelon and a big bottle of
cold OJ. When you are full, it's time to go on the
roller coaster, which should settle your place mat.
Other amusement park rides are the Dodge-Em which has little
cones, that you drive and run into other strings ,
and the Merry-Go-Round where you can sit on a big coat
and try to grab the gold doorstop as you ride past.

Wow, were those ever entertaining?


Saturday, March 03, 2007

Mangled.

So this (single) RS6 got split diagonally like a grilled cheese sammich. That's surprising enough, but the driver walked away from the wreck. Take a look at the other photos on Jalopnik and you'll see how remarkable that is. Whatever he hit went right through pretty much everything but the driver's seat. The guy isn't quite sure what happened, but there's a pretty good theory in the article: "It was likely traveling at about eleventy miles an hour when it left the road." I don't imagine they do many crash tests at eleventy miles an hour, but I'm guessing most of them wouldn't come out this favorably.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Store Updates.

Speaking of CafePress, I headed over there today to actually look at the Daily Placebo Store for the first time in... ages?  Its fun to have a chuckle at my oh-so-clever product descriptions, but amongst the classics like "short sleeved weaponized" and "ringer tee" they've thrown a bit of a curve.  There are a bunch of new colors for some designs, so you can get your babydoll in standard pink, or opt for green or yellow if that's the way you swing.  Dammit, anyone wanna buy a slightly used grey Placebo hoodie so I can order one of those shimmering white models?

Renting The Power Supply.

My biggest dissuasion against running out and buying an electric car right now (aside from lack of supply, lack of funding and lack of a place to plug it in) stems from a general uncertainty of battery packs.  How long will the pack last before it needs replacing?  How much is that gonna cost?  Do I have to do anything special to it?  And so on, like with any new (and probably better) technology.  Think of your feelings the first time you saw a CD player after a lifetime of cassette decks.  There was probably a little fear and resentment of new technology deep in your chest even though it probably manifested as condescension or apathy.  There's just so much to learn and you've already kinda got a system that works.  Oh, but it could be so much better if we'd just man up and do it.  However that fear is a legitimate concern when dealing with new technologies, just ask the minidisc deck under my bed.

But what if I didn't have to worry about the battery?  TreeHugger has a very interesting link about buying the car but leasing the batteries.  Sounds like a neat idea that might make people adopt technology they're not quite sure about yet. Course you'd need to incentivize proper use and maintenance to maximize the usefulness of each pack.  So don't get excited about gorging through 48 AA batteries like you did on Christmas day when you were twelve.


Eye On The Prize.

Thin-film Solar cells.  That's the place to be... in about 5 years. Right now solar power is just cool, but its going to get better.  To compete with fossil fuels it needs to get past the $1 per watt point, but right now its about 4 times that much and not very arousing to a solely fiscal analysis.  That doesn't mean that other catalysts can't drive projects, as you can see with Google's and San Diego's solar projects.

Filsom, a Swiss Firm Solar Cell Firm, projects that in 5 years solar will be marginally cheaper than fossil fuels.  And after another 5 years it'll be half as costly.  Thin-film is a new process that prints solar collectors onto a flexible backing that can be placed on many more surfaces than traditional technology.  Imagine every rooftop you see providing the power for everything underneath it.  And with thin-film, the sides and windows of the buildings can contribute too.  So alternative power doesn't have to be about endless fields of mirrors and collectors.  We can just repurpose some of the impervious surfaces that just radiate solar collection.  Win-freaking-win.

One Card To Rule Them All.

Freaking club cards.  You've got to sign up for them to get basic sale items at most stores these days.  Unless you've got the mettle to run the gambit of assuming the cashier will have one to swipe for you.  Course that's no good if you're often in the self-checkout lines.  So I've got accounts at a bunch of stores cause its just wasteful if you don't.  But I don't really carry the cards, I just punch in my phone number, cause having 10 more cards in my wallet would make a Mt. Fuji in my back pocket. 

But wait.  Look at justoneclubcard.com . They let you type in your bar code number and store name and put up to 8 tags on the front and back of one card.  Awesome.  I saw a lifehack a while ago about cutting and taping your cards into one master card, but this is even better.  I'd even pay a small fee if they'd send me a laminated version in the mail.  As it is you print out the sheet and are left to your own devices.  Do you have any laminating devices?

Halve Starbucks Trash.

I hate lots of things, but Starbucks is always pretty high up there.  Its freaking bean water, people.  Calm down.  But if you must get you chemical addiction on at this painfully ubiquitous chain, take GreenDimes' advice and save your cup.  Its only 50 cents for a refill, which is nice.  But if you'd use every cup you get just twice we could halve the number of cups we throw away.  Go ahead, make a difference.  And if you really love the earth, you'll snag that stranger's cup before he gets over to the trash with it.

Course, the refill price for a travel mug is only ten cents off, which makes you think this is some kind of loophole.  And it probably is, but its Starbucks' own fault for not encouraging responsible consumption outright.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Volley For Prize Money.

The Wimbledon Championships will now offer equal prize money to its male and female competitors. That's no good. Next they're gonna start thinking they can play on smaller courts and not wear those little skirts. I know, I know. I'm working on getting smacked here, but in all seriousness its about equal pay for equal work. I'm glad I've never had to deal with any glass ceiling and think its a shame that it holds some people back.

I hate to say it, but I side with the French on this one. They award more money to the guys based on the fact that they do more work, just like Wimbledon used to before they lost their stones. Guys play best of 5 set matches, while the women only duel to 3. I'm not even going to bring quality of play into this, but its a more demanding version of the sport based on format alone. Why then shouldn't it be compensated justly? Women are actually getting paid more per set here. You don't usually hear women complaining about benefiting from sexism, but this is a fairly tangible example. If there was another mens' league that was paid less than the standard men because the rules were easier, do you think anyone would change the pay scales?

But I don't want to discount the rise in popularity of women's tennis. Sure, more people want to see women play tennis, so its more valuable because its more marketable. But is it the same as a 5 set women's format would be? And if there is demand for a 3 set match, maybe the men should be playing less tennis too.

Its only an opinion, and its in the minority; don't get so worked up.

Like Giving My Toys Away To The Neighborhood Kids.

So I thought I was all cool with my Pocket PC version of Google Maps that came out at the beginning of February.  Its a nice little app that runs from the google maps services without the need for flash or java.  But the real sweet part was the real time traffic overlay that wasn't available in full-out google maps.  I guess it couldn't last forever, and Google put an end to my oneups-manship by releasing traffic for normal maps.  Damn, now I've got to think of some other esoteric technology that I can lord over you.  Ummm... how about OpenId?  Its getting big and I'll be you're not on the train yet.


Babies Get Terrible Gas Mileage.

That being said, you're still not allowed to trade your baby for a car. A woman traded her 5-month old to a couple in Colorado for a used Dodge Intrepid and an "unspecified amount of cash." Wow; now that's leveraging your assets. The three are in police custody and the kiddo is in a foster home. I can't help but wonder what a baby actually goes for on the black market, and obviously I have no idea. But I think it'd be more than the cost of a used Intrepid.