Thursday, January 29, 2009

Second Impressions.

Last year I got a loaner TL from Acura when I took my car to the dealer for some work. It was nice, but not, like, amazing. Today I got an 09 TL, and let me say, that car is a little sick. I wasn't too sure about the wireless key whatchamadeally at first, but now I'm pretty sure I like just walking over to the car, opening the door and pressing the go button. (it adjusts the seat to the key id's preferences too) The back-up camera is a little bit of over-kill, but I could see it being useful in certain situations. But it does tilt the side mirrors for reversing, which I love. The nav system is pretty sweet too, once you figure out the basics, and live traffic updates is awesome. I usually have to get out my phone for that noise. But best of all for this weather is the traction control that keeps the wheels from spinning when I lay down the I-don't-know-how-many horsepower all over the slushy blacktop. There's also a little light that blinks when I go around corners really quickly too, but I can't see what it says, I'm busy looking elsewhere. I still love my car, but quite honestly this car is way nicer and I'll miss a couple things when its gone. Too bad they don't make it in a two door on a civic-like platform. I just don't need this much car.

Bangwagon Badgering.

So my new favorite pointless blog about nothing, fuckyoupenguin, has a post today about snow leopards. Since I recently acquainted myself with the intimate workings of the Panthera genus, I felt compelled to add to the accusations. I'm just so clever that I wanted to share with you.
My comment is reposted below:

And what fuck is up with your scientific classification? Its in your damn name... leopard. You are clearly a sub-species of the... wait for it... LEOPARD! You and your freakshow cousins in the Neofelis Genus. What, you think you're so special cause you can't roar? That's ridiculous. I can't roar either, snow leopard, do I get my own genus and species? No. So get your ass over to Panthera Pardus before I really get angry. We're done here.

TL AI.

What? You're not gonna park yourself? I see you looking out the back, sizing up the situation. You're in reverse, idling in the right direction. What? You can't turn the wheel a few degrees. Come on TL, I thought you were a fancy driving machine and you can't even get it together enough to back into a spot. You've got little flashing light and power control protocols that spring into action when you're sliding sideways, or when your go pedal is pressed too hard on slick surfaces. You're trying to tell me you can't handle this one, tiny, last task? Pff. I don't even know why you have a fancy key that's not a key and uber complicated voice activated menus that you repeat to me in a nauseatingly accentless drone. Oh, fine. I'll goose the gas and match up the lines. Actually I think I've played this video game before. Atari? Virtual boy? Something...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

In Barack Obama's America...

In Barack Obama's America there's no booing.
In Barack Obama's America sno-cones are free on weekends.
In Barack Obama's America pigeons poop rainbows and gold.Well that was crazy. I mean, it was really a spectacle like I'd imagined. Although, in retrospect, I hadn't really imagined it all that thoroughly. Two million people walking through the streets is something that I just had to experience before I could conceive. Its not just that there are streets filled with people. All the streets are filled. I've never thought of people as a liquid before. It is not some grand parade, everyone is going somewhere different. No one is really sure where though. Everyone is trying to beat the crowd and the crowd control. And every time you get to where you think the crowd won't be, its beaten you there.But don't let me make it sound competitive or angry. Everyone is smiling and happy. Everyone is helpful. Sort of. "Do you know where you're going?" "No idea!" was a common exchange. At one point a stalled crowd was swelling against a chain link and it gradually transitioned into shaking the fence. I could imagine the fence falling with a sigh and the surge of people into the empty construction area (not a security area, just a street rehab effort) But just then a woman yelled "Barack Obama wouldn't want you doing that" and they stopped. They behaved. They were not a mob, but a group of proud and jubilant people. He will be a better president for us, and we have to be better for him.
I don't think I've seen more law enforcement personnel in the entirety of my life. I also have an accurate image of what the world would be like if black towncars, suburbans and police cruisers and were the only automobiles. And they all had lights and sirens. We made it through the maze of bus barricades, closed entrances and the no-walk zone that city thoroughfare Pennsylvania Ave had become. We were on the mall, a feat whose feasibility I'd begun to doubt. As we climbed the hill of the Washington monument the east half of the mall stretched before us a sea of people. All waiting watching and drinking in the spectacle that we all were. We huddled like penguins against the wind, clapped like seals with our gloved hands and cheered like people who finally wintessed the fruits of their peaceful democracy.So here we go. A new era of hope and prosperity. Of compassionate and constitutional government. Of science and stewardship. I spose its also the end of me being able to complain willy-nilly about the ridiculous state of politics. This is the best thing I can imagine happening for our country and the world. But this is only the start. The next step is ourselves. The policies and practices will change and we will need to change too. Make this a better time to be an American. Lend a hand to your fellow people, and together we will make this a great nation to be proud of again.In Barack Obama's America people help each other instead of being left to help themselves.

Friday, January 16, 2009

How Retro!


Here's a blast from the past. Anyone remember Hott Spotting? Its been quite a while and I'd actually shut down the submission email address (hottspot at dp dot com) so Dee S Nutts #2 had to send this one to me by carrier pigeon. Its some kinda fancy-pants Lamborghini with "I can park in super thin spaces and still get out" doors. Actually looks a lot like the one I saw in London a while ago.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Here It Comes.

CRAP! I can't believe I snoozed on the chance to jump and cheer for faux-bama.

Tiny Vacation.

I've been meaning to get into some tilt-shift effects for a while now. Basically that means creating an artificial depth of field using post processing techniques. But up until recently it just seemed like a lot of work. Not so with tiltshiftmaker.com just upload your image and select the focal band. Of course, its pretty simple so you'll need to be laid out correctly. Quite a lot of my photos are already macro with healthy doses of DOF, so there's a limited selection of shots it'll work with. Here's a few of the best ones I've come across so far.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Future Yet?

Speaking of archives, what the hell happened to this? Its 2009 for crying out loud! I want my damn magic brakes.
I was reading various things about CES this year, and it seems like companies have been working on thinner screens and denser flash memory.  We're all gonna have 500GB in our pockets and not think its a big deal in a few years.  The new SD standard will max out at 2 TB.  Wireless charging, folding, rolling displays, ubiquitous 3G+, touch screen, EV, UAV.  All this stuff just seems like the logical next step that I've been wondering about for the last few years.  And now, I'm not all that excited about it.  At what point are we going to have the stuff to be in the future?  Maybe I should just stop paying attention to technology news and be completely amazed when advances trickle out to the consumer market.  But I don't wanna.

Science !?!

This last post has got me thinking what exactly a "Bengali Panther" might actually be. Maybe a crossbred Bengal tiger and a panther? Maybe a panther who's secured a passport from Bangladesh? In my dream is was pretty much a jet black tiger, with a wider face than I'd normally think a panther would have. Well, I did some looking around and there's apparently no such thing as a panther to begin with.

Some people may want to call cougars panthers. But they're wrong, cougars are cougars, mountain lions or, perhaps most correctly, pumas. Panthers are large black cats that want to eat your soul. (See visual aid.)

Below we have the various genera of the Felidae (kitty-cat) family including both sub-families, Pantherinae (roaring; mostly) and Felinae (adorable; mostly), listed as best I can in order of size. There's nothing on the list straight-up called a "panther". (besides one of the other names for a puma, which isn't even in the Pantherinae sub-family, so that can't be right. Of course I've also got a problem with the various types of leopards, lynx, and bunches of tiny cats that somehow weaseled their own genera onto the chart. Somebody needs to do some damn housekeeping.)

Animalia, Chordata, Mammlaia, Carnivora:
    • Felidae
      • Pantherinae
        • Panthera- Tiger, Lion, Jaguar, Leopard
        • Unica- Snow Leopard
        • Neofelis- Clouded Leopard, Bornean Clouded Leopard
      • Felinae
        • Puma- Cougar(mountain lion, puma, panther), Jaguarundi
        • Acinonyx- Cheetah
        • Lynx- Eurasian Lynx, Bobcat, Canadian Lynx, Iberian Lynx
        • Caracal- Caracal (persian lynx, african lynx)
        • Leptailurus- Serval
        • Profelis- African Golden Cat
        • Pardofelis- Bay Cat (bornean cat, bornean red cat), Asian Golden Cat
        • Catopuma- Marbled Cat
        • Leopardus- Colocolo, Pantanal Cat, Pampas Cat, Geoffroy's Cat, Kodkod, Andean Mountain Cat, Ocelot, Oncilla, Margay
        • Felis- Chinese Mountain cat, Jungle Cat, Pallas' Cat, Sand Cat, Black-footed Cat, wildcat, Domestic Cat,
        • Prionailurus- Leopard Cat, Iriomote Cat, Flat-headed Cat, Rusty-spotted Cat, Fishing Cat
So what the hell is a panther, since a cougar is an unacceptable answer? Well, its complicated. Apparently a panther is a color variant of a jaguar, leopard, or cougar; but not a distinct species. Melanism is responsible in these black panthers for genetically darkening the typical patterns, which at closer inspection are still visible. Melanism is actually much more common in jaguars and leopards, and actually there has never been a documented case of a black cougar. (maybe that's why I think cougars can't be panthers.) The tendency appears to be environmentally selected, becoming more common in denser, darker parts of jungle.

But then there are also white panthers which can again be jaguars, leopards, or cougars. Again, white leopards are the more common type, although albino variations are more rare than melanistc ones. So a panther can be black or white, jaguar, leopard or cougar. Basically it narrows nothing down at all except that its a non-standard coloring. Crap.

But, I digress. We've all, unfortunately, heard of white tigers. But somewhat less known, and controversially identified, are black tigers. These are usually thought not to be melanistic individuals, but either very large panthers or a cross breed tiger/panther. The sightings are diverse and unsubstantiated. (although more so than those of black pumas) So I'm gonna go with the hybrid tiger black leopard variety. Of course the instructions do not vary irregardless; try to wake up immediately.

Anyway, maybe that was all common knowledge, but I'm pretty sure I thought that panthers were an actual classification, and I definitely didn't know about white panthers. Maybe I was snoozing during the big cat lesson in 2nd grade, but somehow I doubt it. Read about the other ways grade school failed me in the archives.

REM School.

Okay, so if your friends, while docking a 70ft motor yacht, accidentally smash through the main pier at full throttle, at which point Chief O'brien decides its a good time to light your fishing trawler on fire, forcing you to make an escape in a sailing dinghy from which you are knocked by a freak water spout into the hippo tank at the zoo, Don't worry.  The killer whale and elephant will keep you safe from the hippo. 

Also, if a Bengali panther asks to play, the polite response is not yes, or no, but to close your eyes tightly and try to wake up.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

I'ma Be A Shrimp Boat Captain.

Here's a heartwarming tale of a young boy who risked his own well being to save a little girl from vicious danger. While walking the girl's tiny rat-dog, a pit bull attacked the children. The boy jumped on the dog and applied a choke hold until authorities arrived. Nice, right? Here he is:

Okay, now, look at this, which I'm sure you've seen before:

Come ON. Right? Its not just me. Choke Forest, choke!

Redefining Presidential.

Can is be? Eight years gone by so swiftly? Oh the good times. Luckily the BBC has a recap of various Bushisms that help blur past all the unpleasantness and corruption. Lets take a gander.

"They misunderestimated me."
Yes, but little did we know in 2000 by how much we had misunderestimated this wet noodle.
"I think war is a dangerous place."
Well, that's very true, I suppose. If war were a place it would be dangerous. Good.
"the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."
Jebus, the Iraqis didn't hear this one did they? Cause it would have probably scared the shit out of them, what with it at least sounding coherent.
"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."
I know.
"I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards."
Well, public grade schools anyway.
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
Lets hope he wasn't eyeing the McDonald's drive-thru menu.
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
But if I think fish have started making wmd's, they're going down.
"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."
What're you, a lawyer now? Lets leave the fancy talk to the attorney general.
"A leadership is someone who brings people together."
That's probably a technical term from the air national guard. You know, 'form up on the leadership' or something.
"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."
Yes, I imagine you've out smarted us all. Somehow.

You're Getting The Axe

This is awesome.  Burger King has joined Facebook with an app, or whatever the kids are using these days.  The only intriguing part is that part of the deal is that they'll give you a free whopper if you de-friend 10 people.  Ha!  joke's on them!  They don't know how little I care for GOB my friends.  Time to slaughter the goose, cause I'm stick of egg sandwiches.  I bet I'm worth about 7 Whoppers on Facebook.  I'm still not sure if the whopper comes out of the disc drive or the printer though.

Also, it occurs to me that I need to de-friend my friends before they de-friend me in exchange you hot meat-like sandwiches.  It'll be interesting to see what type of effect this has on Facebook dynamics, an incentive to cull your less than BFFs.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Apple Math.

You have got to be goddamn fucking kidding me.  Yeah, Apple announced yesterday that they'd start removing the drm from the itunes store.  (big deal)  And there were whispers that you could actually remove the crippling restrictions from music you already actually own.  Well its true, kinda, and here's the deal.  Itunes is now iTunes Plus (which means that they're higher bitrate files without DRM) though apparently iTunes Plus music is 30 cents more than iTunes (minus?).  So if you've got a buncha iT- songs that you actually paid to own, you can just pony up the difference to Apple and they'll swap them out for iT+ files!  AMAZING!  not.  I'm not really sure how many audiophiles are rocking crappy white earbuds, but I'm betting the majority of people are just looking for unlocked meadia, not modearate increases in bitrate.

Lets, see, if I can burn about 22 songs onto a CD and can burn and rip a CD in about 12 minutes, I could process about 110 songs an hour.  At 30 cents a song that's $33, minus the cost of 5 blank CDs, $32 an hour.  So unless you'd be making more than that sitting around scratching your ass (I'm assuming you're not taking time off work to do this) its not really worth converting to iT+.  Added bonus of the ripping method, you've got an extra CD to give to your ipodless friends, old school P2P style.  (otherwise known as the mix tape)  I haven't heard of the RIAA tracking anyone down for lending CDs to their friends yet.

Also, remember that Amazon sells DRMless music for between 79-99 cents every day and emusic.com's plans average out to between 40 and 26 cents per track.  Apple is late to the party and all they brought was a half-full bottle of creme de banana.  Puke.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

You're Doing It Wrong.

This dude is gonna have a great year.

Wimper.

And that's why there's no more mac worlds.  Its just hard to get so excited about $150 software updates that do what Google started giving away for free 6 months ago.  And starting to sell undrmed music.  Wow.  Maybe they noticed that amazon and emusic were getting my money instead of them.  I can't even get the enthusiasm to post a link.  pff.