Monday, December 29, 2008

Cooking Devices Derived From The Inquisition.


Okay, okay. So I may have been skeptical of specialized panini presses. I mean, sure its tasty when I get a sammich with lines on it from Pannera and everyhting, but never really thought its was oh-so-special. I was wrong. Panini means "make more delicious" in Italian. Like "you want I should panini that roast beef sandwich?" The answer should always be yes. Especially in winter. Hot meals are better than non-hot ones. I'll just have to hum a happy song to keep the sandwich screams from keeping me up at night. Daily Placebo does not condone sandwich torture and we're not willing to admit that Panini pressing is sandwich torture. But it seems like it.

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.

Sweet sacarine, I love those precious few days just after Christmas where all holiday lunacy is confined to people's houses and not let lose to vomit all over my world.  No more rabid shoppers running around (somehow very slowly) buying things to have bought things.  No more excessive decorations popping up on every street corner.  No more tinny bells shreaking outside the grocery store.  (honestly, who has change in their pocket after buying groceries any more?)  I really just like to luxuriate in the lack of consumer hordes and motorist clusterfucks.  Of course then there's that nice little reprieve in early January when people are shocked at the inhospitabe frigid void that winter is without tinsel and santa hats.  They stay inside until that first forecast of snow when they surge like locust on the local groceries and drugstores buying all the bread, milk and toilet paper they can lay their grubby hands on.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

REM School.

Last night I learned that if you can't find your car and end up stealing a school bus, do not continue to pick up kids on their way to school. They are a pain in the ass. Also, school buses off-road surprisingly well.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Shit's Going Down In Bethesda.

That sounds like one big ass water main, to create a 4 ft wall of water.  Anyway, the Beeb picked it up and put it on my rss feed.  Its kinda odd to learn about local news from an international source.

Also, when I'm traveling internationally and people ask where I'm from and I say "Maryland" I sometimes wonder if I should take for granted that people A) know that I'm American and B) know what Maryland is.  This article makes me think yes.

Monday, December 22, 2008

It Wasn't Us, It Was The Robots.

So, this seems kinda like we're not exactly sure what the flying death-machines we released in the middle-east are up to.  "Suspected" attacks by unmanned drones killed at least seven suspected Taliban members in Pakistan recently.  Plausible robo-deniability?  Of course this would have been easier to play off if John McCain hadn't laughed at Barrack during the debates about telling Pakistan before taking military action inside their borders.
"I'm not prepared to threaten it, as Senator Obama apparently wants to do, as he has said that he would announce military strikes into Pakistan. [...] Now, you don't do that. You don't say that out loud. If you have to do things, you have to do things [wink], and you work with the Pakistani government."
So basically the public position is that we're not sending airstrikes into Pakistan, and the Pakistani Government would consider it a violation of soverinity and counter productive.  But on the down low, we do and they don't say anthing.  Either that or we've got a bunch of predators that have gone all "Short Circuit" and are running vigilante missions in between make-out sessions with Ally Sheedy.

In fact, if you believe these sources, we've run at least 20 airstrikes in tribal Pakistani lands.  Of course this is all complicated by the fact that Afghanistan and Pakistan can't exactly agree where the borders are...

Thursday, December 18, 2008

REM School

Last night I learned that if you make the US Olympic warrior ninja obstacle course team, do not leave your Olympic id in you other wallet or they will make you use the public library for Internet access. The lines are horrible.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Adventures In Exotic Pets.

Help!  My dog stinks real bad and won't stop biting the shit out of me.  What should I do?  Also Its got a big bushy tail and is always digging burrows.  Well apparently you should take that thing to the zoo because its a rare fox.  That's what you get for buying weird animals that you've never seen and are not quite sure what they look like.  Now, I don't know exactly what a Pomeranian looks like, but I'm not trying to buy one either.  Something about the phrase "he found the dog hard to tame" seems deliciously understated.  Especially since this guy looks like he's been 'jacking off a bobcat in a phone booth'.

Actually this sounds way more reasonable than thinking a sheep is a poodle.

Driving makes people fat.

Or, rather, not walking (as enabled by driving cars) makes people fat.  As this miraculous new study discovers, the more people drive, the less they exercise.  The real shocking part of this article is the cited mileage that Americans average per year.  87 miles.  A year.  That's 0.238 miles a day.  The average person walks less than a lap on your high school track every day.  Makes you want to go run a mile doesn't it?

Categorize Me, Will You?

So I was checking out my account balance on the web for my Ruth's Chris frequent eater's card.  Yeah, I have a fancy steak card, big whoop, wanna fight about it?  Anyway, I noticed at the top of the page a little snippet that, for some reason, is getting to me.  Its the "Tier" section.  BDay Tier?  What, you think I only come in there for birthdays or something?  Almost makes me want to start going a lot more often to see if i get upgraded to "Swnk Plyr"  or "Rch MF" Tiers.  Almost.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Cubelicious.

Wow. Cube runner was one of the very first games I downloaded for my ipod.  It was free, simple and awesome.  Basically you're an arrow and you tilt the device to keep from running into cubes as you fly through the level.  Simple yet addictive.  I came with three level packs, and I think I did notice that there was an option to download more.  Which I didn't think to look into until now.
Bam, really simply levels are text files with a bunch of xes all over the place.  So not only can you download more level packs, you can make levels to decimate your friends.  Cool enough?

Maybe not, but if you feel like you need control over the throttle, cube sprites, ship design, stackable obstacles, and an on device level editor, you can plunk down the three bucks in the app store.  I'm thinkin about it.

Friday Highlight.

Now this is a blog I can get behind.  I mean, there's only so many lolcatz I can stand.

Damn cute animals think they're better than me...

All Growed Up.

That was fast.  I feel like 100 days is some kind of record for a Google product coming out of beta. (gmail is still beta 4 and a half years later)  But the switch has been flipped and Chrome is now no longer one of the many undercooked (half-baked?) ideas simmering in the Google Labs.  Make sure to click "wrench -> about" to check for the latest version. (1.0.154.36)  Hopefully there'll be support for extensions soon to take care of those ads.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Tips for Millionaires.

I know I'm not sitting around on mounds of bills, lighting cigars with Franklins, or devising other extravagant ways to waste money.  So I may not be in the best position to provide critiques to those who are, but here goes anyway.  If you don't have enough cash to paint your entire Aston Martin with gold paint don't paint any of it with gold paint.  Sweet jebus.


REM School.

Last night I learned that you do NOT want a pack of velociraptors loose on an underwater research station.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Puppies: Natures Space Heater.

Puppies will save your children.  Go get some.  Now.  A three year-old in Virginia was lost in the woods and kept warm by two puppies while he slept.  Now, as nauseatingly cute as this story may be, I can't help but read the article and chuckle.  Apparently this kids was:
last seen wearing a red long sleeve shirt, blue jeans and cowboy boots.  He may also be wearing a camouflage jacket.
Hmm... you gave him camo?  There's just something humorous about a kid lost in the woods wearing camouflage.  Although I guess it could be worse...
Kid's Ghillie Suit Set  Kid's Ghillie Suit Set

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Now I KNOW.

Okay, so a couple weeks ago I got pseudo rear-ended whilst on my way to return merchandise to the local Best Buy. (this is not an endorsement of Best Buy, in fact, tally that up on your list of reasons why retail is for suckers.) It was the old triple car bumper brawl where one person hits another and the hitee drifts forward like a jackass and crunches my tail as I gaze fixedly at the mirror in disbelief. Anyway, it wasn't very serious, but the bottom of my bumper was cracked thusly:
Do you see it? That line near the light part? Well, there's also some spider cracking of the paint in there too. The kinda thing that would have pissed me off every time I walked past the back of my car. If it'd been the civic I might have been less of a stickler about it. But I like my car and since I was just sitting there, and completely not at fault, I wanted them to fix it; damn it. So I jumped through all the insurance company loops. Talked to adjuster after adjuster; gave no less than 4 recorded statements; drove to my insurance company's office to have an estimate written. After an excruciatingly long period (of about 6 days) they all finally agreed that I shouldn't have to pay for the repairs. Booyah; I drop the RSX off at the body shop they specified and was shuttled to the Enterprise to take possession of this behemoth.
It was this or a white panel van. Seriously, that's all they had on the lot. Whatever, I was just glad I wasn't paying for a rental or taking the bus. I drive a small car with a tight suspension; this durango was absolutely cavernous and handled like a uhaul truck. Maybe I should have gone with the van. So after a week of walking in a soccer mom's shoes I think I'm in a better position to make this statement. SUVs suck. There is no reason for someone who drives on roads to haul around that much metal. I mean, yeah, it took speed bumps like a champion, but at what cost?

I didn't actually keep track of the mileage I got, but I have to assume it wasn't great. Here's the fuelly page for durangos, and while the 2007's may end up getting better mileage than previous years (there aren't any recorded fuel-ups for 07s) I'm gonna guess its not all that much better than an 18 average. Luckily I got to fill it up with that cheap crap fuel I haven't bought since 2007, so the 17 gallon half-tank was about on par with my usual full-tank price.

Whatever, I know, and you know, that SUVs get terrible gas mileage as a natural result of weighing a ton* more than my car. (*actually only 1829 pounds more.) What I really learned from this week was more about how an SUV drives. I actually got fairly comfortable maneuvering in close quarters. The turn radius was reasonable and the side mirrors were like full-length hallway mirrors. So when you see someone floundering in a parking lot, making 15-point turns or parking in two spaces, that person has either had their SUV fewer than three days or they are a terrible driver. No, the real concern to me was the transmission. I know its been a while since I drove an automatic, but I distinctly remember that when you let off the gas pedal the car begins to decelerate. This is not the case with the durango. At highway speeds removing my foot from the accelerator completely had virtually no effect for about a half mile. I'm not sure if this is a result of the engine's idle speed or the vehicle's mass, but I find it completely unacceptable.

In fact, in most cases, if I wanted to stop accelerating I had to tap the brake pedal. I'm not sure if I've ever decried over-use of brakes on the highway here, but I believe it to be the cause of numerous collisions and at best billions in wasted fuel and time. Although now I somewhat understand the phenomenon. These goram cars won't slow down without braking! Ridiculous. Now more than ever I think we should push to require tail-lights to be analog.

Anyway, I just figured I share my findings. There is a reason SUVs needlessly brake so much, although I'd rather we got rid of them than fix the problem.

Update
damn i love my car.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Art Day.

So here's some kinda collage I made with some of my pictures from walking around Silver Spring. 
I wonder what the Collage industry's ad campaign would look like. 
You know, if they were on the ball like those cheese or milk dudes.  

"Collage, the inept man's paintbrush."

Somehow I imagine them all playing to the lazy or artistically enfeebled among us.
I'm allowed to say that kinda thing cause I can't draw.  Trust me.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Pardon Me, Do You Have any Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard?

Hmmm.... Looks like Bush has a soft spot for people who destroy wildlife, snort cocaine and misallocate bank funds.  Oh also folks who mislead and steal from the Government.  It almost seems like he's trying to get the pardon train rolling for Obama.  "See, New Guy, these are the kindsa things the President pardons people fer.  Hint."

Friday, November 21, 2008

Holy Crap Guys.

So I bought a computer yesterday. I was only kinda in the market, but NewEgg sent me this deal that I just couldn't pass up. Like seriously, I just couldn't stop thinking about it so I had to pull the trigger if only so my brain could get around to the other tasks I had. Anyway, I just got my invoice email a few minutes ago which contained a tracking link. Here's my status:


Sweet jebus! You almost delivered the machine before the email telling me it was coming. And that was on the cheapest shipping option. What happens if you pick the $76 one? Would it have arrived last Monday?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Keep Gas Expensive.

Have you seen a gas station lately? Its like they're giving that mess away. I'm half tempted to rub some in my armpits so I can savor the savings all day long. But that would be wasteful, and maybe a little bit dangerous. So I don't.

I do use Fuelly to track my miles per gallon over time and compare with my cohorts. But sometimes getting so wrapped up in MPG confuses just how much you're getting screwed over the price of gas. Did you get accustomed to paying $3.70 and thinking you were doing pretty damn well for yourself? Yeah me too.

I'd wistfully recall the good old days when I could top off and President Jackson would have my back. But at a little over $4 a gallon I've got Grant on a search party for Lincoln to cover the cost. Not really a prospect that makes you smile, but since you're accustomed, why not leverage it?
This article describes "fuel hedging" as airlines typically do to protect themselves from rate increases. (you may be able to do the same with your heating oil company) Hedging on your gasoline costs involves the same type of though process, although you won't be saving because of the mass scale of your purchases. Its more like a method to highlight how much you're saving, rather than let that money slip away on beer and cotton candy.

Ramit suggests tracking cost per week, but I'm using the average cost of a tank per month instead. (mostly because my expenditures aren't exactly linear; granted there are variations like the actual amount in a 'tank' but I'm willing to sacrifice for simplicity's sake) I've looked at my recent purchases and decided that I'm fairly comfortable with paying $40 for a tank of gas. Oddly enough that's well under what's been going on for the past few months.

If we take a peek at last year in comparison, a $40 hedge might seem excessive. Especially since I started the year paying about $25 a tank. (I did start buying 93 octane in April, but that's not the sole factor here)

So you can see the basic trend, when gas prices are low, I'd be pocketing the difference into a special account. And when its expensive I'd have money already set aside. Well, I haven't been running this hedge fund since 2007, but if I'd been prescient enough to realize that gas would top $4.60 here's what it would look like.
And here's this year taking into account the outstanding surplus I'd attained in 2007.

That's right, paying $40 a tank for the past two years would still come up short after the shenanigans this summer. You could make the case that I'm just tricking myself not to spend that money somewhere else, and you'd be absolutely right. But I also factor the hedge savings into my fuel budget, artificially keeping the price high. Americans set record lows for miles driven this summer, mainly because of the cost per mile. So this should motivate me to drive less and save more, but instead of handing those excesses over to the oil companies I could start saving for my next, more efficient vehicle.

The Ants Screw Me Again.

Okay, so I've got a bit of history with ants. Honestly, these dudes are annoying, right? Well some kinda researchers think that ants may be the solution to some of our traffic congestion woes.
When the narrow route, as expected, became congested, ants know to tell each other to redirect their travels. An ant returning from the congested narrow route encounters another ant heading up that route and pushes that ant towards the wider lane.

Seems like it'd make sense, right? Individuals who've just traveled on a path can communicate with those headed the opposite direction into the observed conditions. Oddly enough this eerily reminds me of an idea I postmarked on 2/21/07. Take a look:

Wireless Real-time Itinerant Social Traffic System

A mobile system that uses social information, made publicly available, to
compile useful individual results for a single entity of the entire
social group.


The system would harvest speed, congestion and general flow
information from a vehicle's on-board sensors and create a recent
database track with geographic locations, times and infrastructure
conditions. No optical or radio traffic monitoring equipment (to gather data on opposing cars
without WRISTS installed) is required, but may enhance the overall
community performance if present. As the vehicle proceeds on its route
it actively searches with a wireless connection for oncoming vehicles
also equipped with a compatible system.


When a peer is found the systems trade recent databases,
merging current road condition information. Each vehicle now possesses
a complete local traffic map of the area with reliability ratings pertaining to data recency and surety of diagnosis. (some traffic
patterns are easier to diagnose) Vehicles may also choose to rate
personally collected data higher, or flag data, so that inconsistencies
can be leveled out of the network should errors arise.


The in-vehicle system will then use this information in its on
screen navigation, creating alternate routes to minimize travel time
(or another variable at the users discretion) to way-points in the
infrastructure. The information may be displayed on the navigation
screen by classifying roads into color groups, or may be used silently
by the system to reroute traffic.


Systems will need to be self tuning, calibrating for how long
data may be used before it is no longer representative and must be
discarded. In some areas 2 hours and 100 miles of data may be useful,
while in other areas 15 minutes and 4 miles is the maximum lifespan.



The system will also learn tendencies of specific roads over
time for personal use, should a user frequent a particular area. This
will allow for general prediction of traffic
flows in routing. So if a thoroughfare is clear at 7:30, but is
usually full at 8:10, the system can compute ETA to the hot spot and
smartly disregard "road clear" information that it calculates likely to
be out of date on arrival. This average road condition prediction is
not for social use, only recently harvested information is transmitted
throughout the network. In addition existing traffic broadcast systems or fixed traffic
counters may be integrated into routing because they mark known
accidents and closures, but this information is for personal use, not
socially distributed. This is intended to maintain the purity of the
network so that only fresh and near-firsthand information is used which
will eventually result in better local response times than widely
aggregated reports of a metropolitan area.


With multiple users an entire area of main thoroughfares can be mapped fairly quickly, depending on traffic speed and transmission range. The more users there are, the more current and ubiquitous the data will be.


When enough users are enabled, oncoming traffic will act as a conduit for road information to stopped traffic. For example(figure 2): A car (A) in a traffic
jam can pass information to car (B) as it proceeds in the opposite
direction. Car (B) will in turn pass information to car (C) which is
pointed the same direction as car (A) and in the same traffic jam. Car (C) can then use information passed backwards down the traffic jam to decide whether to reroute or to wait for traffic to clear.


In more advanced situations cars with similar repeated tracks may suggest "bond" may also communicate destination way-points.

To
study: minimum number of devices for system to function. Effect of
congestion avoidance on quality of data, multiple concurrent reroutes.
Make extrapolated congestion based on routes and reported trends
public? (figure1: assume traffic is red between 7:12 and 7:17 links)


Freaking ants stole my idea and sold it to some German Scientists! And you call me crazy when I rant about ladybugs trying to kill me and not being able to trust insects.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Wrongly Accused.

Well that election is over, finally.  So there's a lot less stuff out there to get my ire up.  But of course there's always the old standby, mobile phones.  Slate has an article this morning about the things Google stole from Apple when designing Android.  Now, I'm the first to call myself a Google fanboy or an Apple hater, so I'm definitely biased in this exchange.  But COME ON!

The author starts by referring to the font technology that Steve Jobs developed and quickly spread to all graphical computers.  Fair enough, I spose that may well be true.  But I'm not sure that basic typography and formatting wouldn't have spread to computers, especially as they became more mainstream.  Next he brings up Google's Android font, custom designed by a font contractor, claiming that it is usable and stylish which makes it reminiscent of Apple.  Odd, I'd think Google would get original 'cred' for not using the same fonts as other companies, but creating a fresh set with a particular use in mind.  Unless of course Apple has cornered the market on making anything stylish and usable... they don't have a copyright on making well designed things do they?  Whatever, font is small potatoes, what else you got?
The G1 and the Android operating system are not copies of the iPhone and its software... But in a deeper sense, everything about the Google phone seems inspired and indebted to the iPhone... like the iPhone, the Google phone's best feature is its attractive, well-designed interface.
Wha... what? Still on this noise? Android is biting on the iPhone because it has usable software?
You turn it on to see a bright, uncluttered main menu that features a handful of icons for frequently used apps. To load one up, simply tap the screen with your finger—yup, just like you've seen people do on those iPhone commercials.
Seriously?  Pressing icons to open a program. I thought we were past Apple owning the concept of a GUI.  In application design components should be familiar and or intuitive.  I'm inclined to believe that pressing an icon or button and having something happen is intuitive.  And even if it wasn't, the iPhone is not the device that made it familiar.  People have been clicking and pressing buttons on screens for years.  I still remember using the card catalog touch screen at the library when I was like 8.  Mostly I think this slate author needs to acquaint himself with some other touchscreen offerings, or perhaps contemplate the multitude of non-telephony ancestors of present day innovation.  What do you think we mean when we say convergence device?
The iPhone lists all of your apps on its main menu; you don't need to navigate any deeper menus to get to them. But the G1 hides its many preloaded apps...
Uh, listing off differences in the interface implementation kinda undermines your whole point, don't you think? And honestly, this drives me crazy. My iPod Touch has 5 screens of icons that I have to flip thorough to find the one I want. If I could organize them into some type of folder structure or menu I'd be a happy camper. But no, Apple has made the decision for me that this is the easiest way to find what I'm looking for.
Google's best Android idea is filched directly from Apple: Android Market
That's a shame. The market place, while strikingly similar to the App Store, is not the overwhelming innovation. Android is a revolution because it is an open source mobile phone operating system created by a software company who's primary goal is organizing information. Google decided that there was no reason mobile operators should continue to pump out crappy software as the status quo.  It integrates cloud computing with mobile access in a way that is intended to pervade the entire mobile handset industry.  You don't have to get a G1, there will be hundreds of options with a familiar and usable interface.

On to the Market... I had a phone in high school that could download and run BREW apps; for a fee of course. Hell my phone now downloads games and apps that were 3rd party developed, approved by my carrier and placed in a central repository.  A great idea sure, but not as revolutionary as you think, so much as as evolutionary.  (ironically, iTunes on a mobile device is a newer and more exciting development, rather than an application warehouse)

I believe there is good reason for the overwhelming success of the App Store in comparison to its earlier predecessors.  Its slick implementation and the hardware features of the iPhone may help, but the App Store's real secret lies in several 'inferior' generations of iPods and the rabid hacker turned developer community which grew as a result.  That's the reason I drank the koolaid and bought a Touch, and that's the real hurdle that Google will have to overcome to make a serious 3rd party Marketplace.  Luckily, Apple is setting up a walled garden approach a la early 90's AOL, which leaves the real mobile processing market available.

Apple has a good thing going in the "just works" niche, but that naturally limits customization and adaptation.  Luckily Apple has no problem telling people what they want; and we have no problem being told apparently.  Really, would you see the iPhone the same without that confidence and swagger that this is the solution?  I don't think so.  Which is the real magic of the iPhone that Google just can't steal.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

So THAT's What a VP Does....

I got to this government transition manual from change.gov, the president-elect's official transition website. It seems to describe the various jobs and positions that need to be filled by a new administration. Kinda like a "Running the US Government for dummies" book. I have just one question though, did Dick Chaney read this when he took his job?

THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES Dick Cheney
Article II, section I, of the Constitution provides that the President "shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years . . . together with the Vice President . . . ." In addition to his role as President of the Senate, the Vice President is empowered [[Page 88]] to succeed to the Presidency, pursuant to Article II and the 20th and 25th amendments to the Constitution. The executive functions of the Vice President include participation in Cabinet meetings and, by statute, membership on the National Security Council and the Board of Regents of the Smithsonian Institution.


http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=2008_government_manual&docid=214669tx_xxx-18

Opportunity Or Lunacy?

Okay, so this one has been sitting in my inbox since April.  I figure by now you're either forgotten about or just never saw it to begin with.  So lets say you're of the burgling persuasion.  You're on your way to burgle the crap out of someone when you spot an alligator by the side of the road.  What do you do?


Yeah, you probably wrestle the reptile into the back seat of your Buick and then continue the burgle.  I mean, sure stealing a TV is sweet, but stealing a TV and an alligator?  Irresistible!  I feel like you might be verging on kleptomaniac when you start stealing wildlife in the middle of your other heists.  What's next, rolling up to a bank robbery with 15 squirrels and an armadillo in a taxi?

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

At Long Freaking Last!

Wow, I was beginning to think this day would never come. A day of hope and enlightenment for all. Real change in the way business gets done in DC. Yes, today Google released Street View Data for Washington DC and Baltimore! Let the people pour from their buildings and dance in the streets! Hooray!



and holy crap is there a lot of coverage.

Holy Moses.

Well, I dropped by my polling place this morning. Wow. That's quite a few people that'd like to cast a ballot. The red line below represents the salivating public about to get its vote on.Actually it wasn't a big deal at all to see since the poll is literally connected to my building. My plan was to head down and see if there was a long wait and head to work if there was. But I really didn't expect anything like this. There were people stacked up out the front of the NOAA building, through the green space, down the sidewalk, under the drive-up portico, down the length of my building and around the back. Adding insult to injury, the line did not appear to be moving in the slightest.

It can't be this bad all day, so I hopped back in the elevator and went down to the parking deck to get my car. The voters scuttled out of the way as I exited and proceeded to work. So the new plan is to call the concierge desk and ask how long the line is after everyone's lunch hour is over. I just can't rationalize standing in a line that long when I work 15 minutes away, have someone who can tell me if there's a line and live in a building that touches the poll.

Who knows maybe I'll end up standing in that line at 8:00 tonight because it doesn't get any shorter. But I doubt it.


Update:
Yeah, uhh... so at 3:13 there's absolutely no line at my polling place. I heard that a friend stood in that line for three hours this morning. Ouch. It took me just about 6 minutes to tally my vote, including the walk from my lobby. I also thoroughly enjoy that my front door is closer to the polls than electioneering materials. At least I didn't see any.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Who needs car seats? That normal seatbe

Who needs car seats? That normal seatbelt seems to do just fine. Of course when you stop-short with a bottle of wiskey, your aarm might actually help it stay put.

Friday, October 31, 2008

The One That Spammed Away.

Complement of the day,

Although you might be apprehensive about my email as we have not met
before,My name is Mr Song Li le I work with the Hang Seng Bank.I have a
business proposal in the tune of $19.5m to be transferred to an offshore
account with your assistance.

That is why I ask that we work together so as to have the sun transfered out of my bank into your account.

Note that all is well planned as we shall do this inline with all legal and banking requirements. All I need from you is your willingness, trust and commitment. Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall then share in the ratio of 70% for me, 30% for you.

Should you be interested please send me your,
1,Full names,
2,private phone number,
3,current residential address,

Finally after that I shall provide you with more details of this
operation.my email address is [Redacted]

Kind Regards,
Mr Song Lile.


Well, compliment of the day to you, sir. I hope the weather is treating you well and that you don't fall down any stairs today.

I really like how you start out by shining the spotlight on my obvious distrust of people I haven't met, but push right past into the meat of your argument. None of that "inheritance" or "unclaimed funds" crap. "There is money and you could have some" is all I need to know. But a 70/30 split? Come on! I've never been scammed for so little. At least meet me a 60/40 here. You're lucky I don't just take all 19 million and leave you for dead in Burma. (You most likely know it as Myanmar, but it will always be Burma to me.)

As far as I can tell the "business proposal" here is legally receiving funds. Are you sure we're not doing something just a tad illegal? That'd make it more exciting... But that doesn't matter anyway since I only accept business opportunities in the tune of "the itsy bitsy spider". Also, you must have a huge deposit box if you can fit the whole Sun in there.

Lastly, what the hell is up with the commas you're throwing everywhere in your numbered list? You keep that up and someone's bound to lose an eye.

I kindly away the answers to the above inquiries before I pack up my willingness, trust and commitment and send them to you like toddlers into a grizzly's mouth.

Mild salutations,
your mom

P.S. It really hurts your credibility when you hijack someone else's email account and request replies to another, even sketchier "yahoo.com.hk" address. (Hey, Brian K Rose at the University of Kentucky, this douchebag is sending spam with your name at the top. Just in case you care.)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My Bad.


Sorry, I was laying on the beach. That kinda stuff makes one forget about the drudgery of being witty on the internets. Anyway, I plomise[sic] to be more on the ball with your delicate needs from now until the next time I start not posting for weeks at a time. Deal?
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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Slogomatic.

This is pretty fun.  Think up your own slogans for America's #2 politician and all the font work is done for you.  Just be careful your parodies aren't too biting and sarcastic.  People may think you're for-serious.



Wednesday, October 22, 2008

'Look Mom, I Can Cook' Edition.

So I went to this place called a "grocery store" and they had all kinds of things that one might use to make a "meal".  I think they were called "ingredients".  But don't quote me on that.  I'd actually gone to get items for a pasta salad, but ended up with a few more items.  When I got home I figured I had the makings for Dijon chicken over rosemary rice and roasted vegetables.
You want the recipe?  Well tough.  I don't use recipes; I throw things into cooking devices.  So you might try and replicate this by throwing two (completely frozen) boneless, skinless chicken breasts into a pan.  Pour on some mustard and olive oil toss it into an oven at 400 degrees and set a timer for 40 minutes.  Put a cup of rice and two cups of water in a pot to boil.  Throw in some rosemary.  When it boils reduce the heat and put a top on it for 20 minutes.  Do not lift the lid to 'check' on it.  The rice will be fine without you.

Now then, I really wanted to make some macaroni salad, so I started chopping up all the vegetables and whatnot, but realized I had way more than I could fit into the two biggest bowls I had.  So throw some chopped peppers and tomatoes into your chicken pan with about 25 minutes to go.  Swirl some olive oil on there and get back to your salad.  Mix the veggies and whatnot up in a bowl.  (or two)  I used regular mayo cause it was already open and it turns out the lite mayo-like substance I got actually has more sodium.  Screw that noise.  Maybe some black pepper, rosemary cause its already out, horseradish sauce to taste.  Yeah, this would probably be a little more delicious with some salt, but that's not the point, jackass.  
It tastes plently good as it is, so shut your tuna-macaroni-salad hole.  Slop the mess into gladware containers and bam!  Lunches for the week.  And, oh, look at that magic.  Your dinner is piping hot and ready to go.  Of course the best thing about cooking dinner is that I don't have to do it again for a few days, because I always make too much.Bonus kitchen tip:  Make sure you have something tasty like fudgesicles in stock if you insist on drinking milk from the carton without checking the expiration date.  Trust me.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I Was Right.

Think back.  As far as you can remember.  To a time of darkness and desperation.  Yes, all the way back to 2005 in the days prior to the iPhone.  In today's 'I Was Right' we're examining Jon Rubinstein's ridiculous claim that convergence devices just wouldn't pan out and didn't offer any benefits.  A claim that I think we can all agree at this point was completely and utterly wrong.  So, Jon, I was right.

Back The Eff Up.

Okay, so this is another little PSA for some of the people I've seen out there who just kinda suck at life.  I know there are quite a few of you, so if I haven't made it around to addressing the particular aspect at which you suck, please bare with me.  I've got a lot on my plate.
Please excuse the crudity of this model, I didn't have time to build it to scale or to paint it.
So when you're driving a car you want to make sure that you've properly positioned yourself.  A common mistake is to rest your chin on the steering wheel as you adjust the seat, however this is not proper procedure.  Also note that, with your back against the seat, you should not be able to place both you hands and elbows on the steering wheel.
Note Shortround here.  Obviously too close to the steering wheel, as evidenced by the number of crates, boxes, rickshaws, and other items he smashes into on the way to the airport.  In fact when you crash (because with the way you drive it is an inevitability) you're gonna want to be as far away from that air bag as possible.  So please, get a phone book, tie blocks to your feet, whatever you have to do.  Remember... coordination and dexterity start with planning and preparation.  Now you know, and knowing is half of not being a jackass.

I Should've Played Slots.

I've written about Mint before.  Its a webapp that consolidates all your financial accounts into a one-stop portal.  Newly added to the system is the investment tracker what allows you to see how many thousands of dollars you're losing through no fault of your own.  Pretty nice, huh?  Above is the raw performance of one of my mutual funds with the dollar amounts removed.  But that's not all, you can also see how much money everyone else is losing compared to you.Here's my performance against the Dow Jones over 6 months.  You can see me squeezing out a little more than the average and then, BOOM!  In the tank just like everyone else.  So the take-home here is that you shouldn't worry about how much money you've lost, cause I can nearly guarantee there's someone else who's lost more.  Thanks Mint!

Friday, October 10, 2008

First Impressions.

So I just walked into the men's room to take care of some business.  There was a guy sitting in the first stall with the door wide open.  He had his pants all the way up and was sitting on the toilet backwards, facing the wall.  The very first thought that ran through my brain was "Dude, you've got this ALL wrong." 

But upon second inspection of the mental image I'd created at a glance, there were tools strewn around and he was obviously working on the jibber-jabber the toilet hooks up to.  But before that; how silly did he look?  Honestly!  I wanted to take a picture for you but figured he might not appreciate that too much and chase me down the hall with a huge-ass wrench.  Sorry.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Drunk Dialing Is So 2003.

I dunno if you're familiar with your "labs" tab in gmail (I'm assuming you have gmail because everyone who's anyone does) but there are some interesting little alpha customizations you can enable there.  Take, for example, this one I saw today.


Now, I know they don't exactly come out and say it, but this tool is obviously designed to keep you from belligerently drunk emailing inappropriate things to your less understanding friends / coworkers.  Just enter the days and times you're likely to be plastered and google's got your back.  Too bad I can also send gmails from my phone though...

Almost Too Smart.

So I'm an alumni of a prestigious institution.  How prestigious?  Very.  And one of the responsibilities of being an alumni of prestigious institutions is contributing to fund its programs; or at least dodging the undergrads who call and ask for contributions.

I got an email about a month ago saying that the annual phonathon was starting up again, and that it really does make the student's day to get an alumni contribution, I took immediate action.  I mean I could just hear the crestfall on the other side of the line when I declined to fund initiatives that are transforming my beloved Alma mater.  And no one wants to hear that.  So I looked up the phonathon number and saved it in my phone under "St Mary's phonathon- DON'T ANSWER!" and promptly forgot all about it.

Until recently when my phone rang and I looked to see who was calling...  Bam, no more depressed students, giving away perfectly good money, or talking on the phone.  Win-freaking-win.  So I guess you have to ask yourself, am I a bad man?  Or are you just jealous you didn't think of it first?

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Looking Back

These are great.  And this one has a take-home message.
"don't elect an old dude for president.".

Friday, September 26, 2008

Some kinda jamacan taco...

Politician

I think I'd feel better about the leadership of this country if our leaders' statements were swapped out for lines from movies and TV. Instead of
"If money isn't loosened up, this sucker could go down." -George W Bush
Instead imagine fox news cutting to a clip of
"Shit just got real." -Martin Lawrence
It really conveys that he understands the gravity of the situation. And I wouldn't feel nearly as bad about the vacuous drivel coming out of a possible world leader
"Um, helping, oh, it’s got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade — we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today." -Sara Palin
...if it was complete and utter hilarity.
"Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The Democratic vote is the right thing to do Philadelphia, so do." - Dennis Reynolds
Update
Holy Crap. I don't mean to harp on this (well maybe I do) but this person isn't fit to run a Jamba Juice stand.
At around 4:45 in this video Katie talks about the current administration's penchant for "nation building" and asks how Sara would change or improve the strategy.
Katie: "How, specifically, will you spread democracy throughout the world?"
Retarted Gameshow Contestant: "Specifically we will make every effort possible to help spread democracy for those who desire freedom, independence tolerance, respect for equality; that is the whole goal here..."
I'm sorry this isn't the final round of Family Feud and the category wasn't 
"concepts that make your tummy feel warm."  Using the word "specific" does not magically make your answer specific.  That would entail not using vague declarations someone beat into your head 15 minutes ago.  Lets see if I can trim this down to just the facts.  "How will you spread democracy?" "Effort."  Which immediately brings to mind the poster on my wall:
"When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do."
 McCain's inclusion of Palin on the ticket makes the entire campaign unqualified, dangerous and unelectable.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

TV For Me?

Hmmm... I think I remember watching this show.  Its like about super powers or something, I honestly can't remember the last episode I saw... what was it a year ago?  Oh, December 07, not quite a year. Still a long-ass time.  I guess that's why you put a recap on before the 2 hour season premiere last night.  Too bad I have no patience for recaps.  I guess I can't be too pissed off that Burn Notice is over for a while.  Also, Sunny is back.  Dear god that show is silly.  I cried a little.  And bought the first three seasons on DVD today.  Good times.

Usually when I watch TV I'm pissed off about how much crap there is.  Reality this and ice-dancing that.  But really there are a bunch of shows that I do like and would watch, if only I could remember that they existed.  Lets see if I can ...
Heroes (NBC)
BSG (SCIFI)*
Psych (USA)
Sunny (FX)

Hmmm...  Seems like I watch a lot of TV when you write it all down like that.  Can you think of any I missed?  I guess maybe that's why the execs break it up into seasons with hiatuses, convoluted schedules and other chicanery.  Thanks boys!


* I used to be more devoted to this show but its starting to slide and should probably be off the air by now.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Holy Crap.

This is the kinda shit that keeps me up at night. No, not polishing my rifle in the dark, warily eying the door as if it were a gun restriction legislator. I mostly worry that the GOP will be able to trick enough demographics into treating this election like a single issue race.
"Probably never even been hunting a day in his life" "Defend freedom; Defeat Obama."
Really? Electing Obama will somehow dissolve the 2nd amendment? I'm pretty sure its the other party that deserves a reputation for basically ignoring our constitution. Still, how many people will ignore all the policies, decisions, and practices that are bad for the country, bad for themselves and bad for our world, to vote on a single token issue?

And I don't mean to suggest that gun-rights aren't important; there are just quite a lot of issues at play here. Sometimes I really wonder how all these folks got packaged up as the traditional GOP base. I mean, all the rich dudes make sense, huge contracts and do-whatever-the-fuck-you-want economic plans make it easier to scam serious cash. Nevermind, who's being scammed from. And then you have the rural gun lobby who may also like the "less government" approach to their issue. But the war hawks seem to have no problem growing the military and raining down terror overseas; all the while courting the religious and 'family values' aspect. Yeah, I guess if 'religious' means intollerant of other beliefs, and not actually so keen to contemplate your own. I'm sorry, what does Christianity say about extreme wealth and helping the less fortunate?

Mostly I guess I need to have faith that the American public can see through all this bullshit, spin and the lies upon lies upon lies. But I did that in 2004, thus my worries.

I look at Barack Obama and I see a man who wants to change this country, and the world, for the better. And I think he has a good shot at it. In McCain I only see a man who wants to beat Obama.

Replaintenance.

Well, I finally figured out why my tire sucked at holding air. Apparently there was a nail in the middle of it. Who knew tires and nails don't mix? I guess I'm gonna have to find a new place to keep my hot-dipped zinc coated box nails. Anyways, a little inter-clicking showed that my OEM tires, while fairly good, are ridiculously expensive. A few people also commented on their affinity for squealing even under proper inflation; which makes me feel better about all the noise I've been making around corners. So I decided not to drop a grand on the same ones, opting instead for a set of Eagle GT's. Don't adjust your screen, they're asymmetrical. I think I like them; they haven't made a peep yet.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

What's Wrong With You?

I know this is America and we pride ourselves on letting people believe what they want to believe and say what they want to say; but just the same I would like to deport select specimen that are just not fit for human interaction.  I don't imagine we'd find too many countries lining up to take these reverse refugees, so stranding them on a desert island or just abandoning them in the middle of the ocean may be our best bet.  But alas, I'm pretty sure it won't be too easy to get the "deport dumbasses" wagon rolling; especially since they're "entitled" to various "rights"...  Luckily a state sponsored "free liquor, guns and blindfolds day" would probably have the desired effect, encouraging some folk to do the responsible thing.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Sober Thoughts.

Now usually I'm all for exclusivity. When I was 16 and there was talk of raising the driving age to 18 (I imagine this is an urban legend that circulates constantly through the 15 and a half year-old demographic) I answered with a swager that I had no qualms, since I was already rocking my Cinderella permit. So maybe its a sign of my maturity that when folks talk about lowering the drinking age I think it makes a lot of sense.

Now, I know, for a while there will be teens going wild if they're allowed to buy beer a couple years earlier. But that's only a backlash to the culture of ageist prohibition that we've created. That forbidden fruit would suddenly be readily available, and it'll be bad for a while. I dunno maybe you just 'reverse grandfather' it in to reduce the binge backlash. But ultimately reducing or eliminating the drinking age would create reasonable, accustomed young adults, able to make responsible decisions.

I didn't drink until I was 21, but I'm a very good boy. Quite a few teens are sneaking around pinching a nip where they can anyway; it seems like a very defiant and adult thing to do. And there's nothing wrong with that except that their parents can't keep an eye on their behavior. Just like with video games, Interneting and sugar, young adults need to learn to balance their lives and avoid excess. Our current system throws them into the deep end when they leave home at 18, still 'illegal' but now away from their parents' watchful eye. This is especially salient on a college campus where half the population is of tenure, contrasted with the underage but independent underclassmen.

Much of the opposition I've noticed is from anti-drunk-driving organizations, which doesn't exactly make sense to me. Drunk driving is not okay, no matter the offender's age. There are generally statistics bandied about citing a reduction in fatalities corresponding with 21 drinking legislation. But if that correlation was valid, shouldn't these organizations be pushing to raise the drinking age to 50? Surely that would have marked effects on traffic fatalities. But they're not, probably because restricting the rights of legal adults in this matter is unreasonable and unjustifiable. The article below points out that federally raising the drinking age did not effect automobile fatalities; safer cars, education and medical technologies are all responsible. It argues very poignantly against confusing drinking legislation with driving legislation. These are not alcohol fatalities, they are automobile fatalities.

And in fact, just last week I saw an ad on the metro that showed a graph of highway fatalities and alcohol related fatalities over time. (I didn't have time to snap a picture so if anyone sees it I'd appreciate a shot) Basically it showed alcohol related fatalities dropping at a 45 degree angle and 'sober' fatalities rising at the opposite rate. The caption's jist was "do you know where your greatest threat lies?” leading the viewer to surmise that aggressive drivers are much more prevalent and dangerous than drunk drivers. Which I find completely believable in the DC area; drunk drivers slowly weaving down the highway would get run off the road by the impatient and angry.

This is an issue of trust. We don’t trust young adults to make good decisions and we don’t trust their parents to raise responsible young adults. And since we expect children to sneak around, violating the law with dangerous practices, that’s what they do; either out of rebellion or convenience or pressure. It is a parent’s responsibility to raise their offspring and equip them to be viable adults; and it should be their choice how and when to educate them on the dangers and pleasures of alcohol. If anything we need to do more to create responsible parents rather than legislating away their innate responsibility by treating the second hand symptoms.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Baby, I've Changed.

Its almost like we've got a three party system going on here. Its the Democrats vs. the Republicans vs. the Republicans. Nevermind that the two types of Republicans are nearly indistinguishable from the lame-duck to the next duck in line. The latter Republicans have decided that its time for a change, stating that "Washington isn't working". Well maybe you should get your asses back there and punch the time clock while you're still allowed in the building. But despite the new stream of rhetoric about change and fixing "things" no one seems to be able to say what the New Grand Old Party would do differently from the current one, apart from understand less about the needs of people who don't have summer homes. Here are a few of the "changes" I noticed on McCain's site that we can we can look forward to:
  • Magically reducing gas prices (he must have that wand George lost), continuing tax cuts for the wealthy and various other tax breaks that reduce revenue without explaining how to make up the difference.
  • Fighting climate change by producing more power, domestically drilling for oil (growing our own opium) or burning coal and crops. Rewarding oil companies to keep gouging us and paying little
    attention to technologies that would ease their strangle hold and
    actually reduce global warming.
  • More war; somehow increasing the size of the military despite it being underfunded and over-deployed as it is.
  • Free range, sink or swim health care.
  • Population increases through abstinence-only education and overturning Roe v. Wade; reducing our dependence on foreign adoptions. (domestically drilling for babies)
  • Protecting people's rights by outlawing same-sex marriages. (not sure I follow)
  • Protecting children from the dark side of the Internet... somehow.
  • Protecting human dignity. (no torture, maybe?)
  • Ensure that everyone keeps a trigger lock on their armor piercing high capacity magazine assault rifles.
  • Provide high-speed Internet to all Americans (even you John?) by allowing local communities to build connections if the local telcom monopoly has waived its right of first refusal.
Its kinda like McCain is the boyfriend who did something stupid and
noticed that his lady is really pissed off. He wants to make it right,
but doesn't know what's wrong, and not if it means making real changes. The
classic "I'm not going to tell you if you don't already know." Lets
hope he doesn't show up tonight with wilted carnations and a 6-pack of condoms.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Post Haste.

I recently sent in a comment to the National Geographic society about all the junk mail they send me. Like three in the past two weeks, seems a little excessive.
I have renewed my National Geographic Magazine subscription until 2010, yet I continue to receive mailers telling me my subscription is running out. I have taken great lengths to reduce the amount of trash I receive in the mail, and while I enjoy the magazine, these offers are redundant and unnecessary. Please update whatever records your retention unit employs or if you contract out this mailer-driven campaign, you may want to check to see that your money is being spent wisely. Thank you, from a loyal customer who doesn't want more wasted paper.
I think its pretty reasonable not to be bothered again and again and again with warning pamphlets and pre-addressed envelopes for something that I've already bought. Luckily the customer service rep that read my suggestion had a helpful tip for dealing with the glut:
Please disregard the duplicate renewal notice. We apologize for any inconvenience or concern this matter has caused you. Our renewals are preprinted to help our members avoid a lapse in service. Sometimes this causes our members’ orders to cross in the mail with our renewal offers. If you have any further questions... [blah, blah, brushoff]
Oh, really? Thanks, I'm too big of a moron to know when to ignore useless shit. I was really worried that the towering pile of junk mail in my living room would fall over and crush me as I walked past in the morning; but now I know I can just throw it all in the trash. That's dynamite!

I don't want your goddamn apologies, I want you to stop sending (or more importantly, printing) these letters in the first place. And as for telling me that they are pre-printed in some lackluster attempt to make me feel better? That just tells me that you're sending these things to everyone that has only 6 months of service left. Its not a mistake, we regularly inundate about half of our members with repetitive, redundant and mildly insulting mailers that waste time, money and resources.

I mean, I know that subscribing to a magazine isn't very green, but come on, can't you guys help me out a little and keep it to a minimum?

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Let the insanity begin...It occurs to me

Let the insanity begin...It occurs to me that jury duty is a lot like going to the MVA. At least the waiting around in the jury "lounge" is, i'm not as sure about the court room part. Basically i'm waiting for them to call my number but have no idea when or if they actually will.

Friday, August 29, 2008

That's The Ticket.

McCain choosing Palin as a running mate to ease concerns about his age is like me governing with a child that will be born, not this year, but in the following December. Literally still a twinkle in his father's eye.
the addition ... could ease concerns of some voters who worry about McCain's age. Palin is 28 years younger than McCain
You have to think they aren't mostly fighting ageism with the move, but trying to court those Hilary followers who were already contemplating voting McCain out of spite. I'm not sure what to say about someone who would jump to an ancient maverick conservative just to not vote for Obama. I guess they have different priorities than I do.

So McCain says "You've got a black guy? Well... we've got a woman!" (pulls woman out of tophat) You're right McCain, there are more women in the US than black people; very crafty splitting people's desire for an alternative candidate. But you know me, I've got to look at the flip side of the coin. What about all those folk who thought they were going to be safe with the traditional old white dude ticket? They might have been hoping for someone a little more Republican to round out McCain.

Basically asking certain Americans to chose which they love more: sexism or racism.

Waiter Notes.

I went out for steak on Sunday in Annapolis and I have to say, that place never disappoints. Its all I can do to keep from drooling on the plate when I take a bite. I didn't order another steak for dessert or anything, but still... tasty.

So I check the mail yesterday and there's a hand addressed envelope with a note scrawled inside. Its from Ross, our server, saying what a good time he had and that he hopes to see me again soon. Sweet, but I do kinda feel a little like a girl he met at summer camp just before 7th grade.

So, am I sposed to ask for Ross the next time I go over there? I don't even ask for the same barber every time, would it be silly to have a usual steak boy? And will it be awkward if he catches me at someone else's table? "Oh, uh, hi Ross... I... How are you?"

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Uh Oh.

So I accidentally bought an iPod a couple weeks ago; breaking my self-imposed "no iPods in my car" ban. Its pretty nice though. I've had a little troubl finding an FM transmitter of the same quality/ power as the old one I had, but that's Griffin and the FCC's fault, not Apple's. All the little games and other apps you can download are a nice bonus too, although I haven't really seen the need to pay any money for one yet.

Anyway, I finally busted out the iTunes store over WiFi last night to search for an artist someone told me about. Searches as you type, stream clips of each song, only 7.99? Okay... Downloaded in about 3 mins and its already on my iPod read to roll. Shit; I may have just relapsed into my itunes addiction. And't I'd kicked it so well; for so long!

Emusic sends me to a reactivate page when I head to their site. For 12 bucks I'd get 30 songs a month (40 cents each) in pure MP3 format, instead of 99 cents each for DRMed up itunes tracks. Half as much for freeer (three "e's", really?) content doesn't seem like much of a contest, but honestly the ease and instant gratification of mobile iTunes is a much bigger draw than I thought it would be.

So I guess I've got some soul searching to do. Reactivate with Emusic? Pay through the nose with Apple? What I really need is an Emusic iPod app to search and download just like I do with the built-in iTunes app. I actually find getting music on the computer easier with Emusic since my machine runs firefox better than iTunes. But Apple has control over the walled iPod app garden and this is exactly the kind of app I could see them not letting through the gate.

P.S. New organic options at the store, you gotta get your torso on these badboys

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Stick It To The Man.

Apparently this billboard is by the airport in St. Paul in preparation for the Republican National Convention next week.  Lets hope it elicits a reaction other than "Oh, well thank you!"

Friday, August 22, 2008

Personal Inventory.

While I find most of the 'doddering old man doesn't know how many houses he has/ how to tie shoelaces' debate fairly amusing, this is an interesting point. Seven houses is obviously more houses than a ginormous majority of Americans (or world citizens for that matter) can claim amongst their assets; but what do you have seven of?

I have more than 7 DVDs. I have a 7.1 surround sound system. I have more than 7 (burned) CDs; although my CD changer holds one short of equaling McCain's realestate holdings. I have more than 7 pairs of underwear... but I seriously can't name anything of consequence (end table or higher) that I have more than 5 of. Golf clubs? (like the actual sticks, not country clubs)

I don't mean to suggest that having this kind of wealth makes John McCain unfit for the presidency. When's the last time we elected someone who's personal wealth was near the median for this country? But it does make me think twice when I hear stories about how John McCain is better able to identify with the working class Americans who are feeling the pinch of gas prices and a recession. Reducing taxes and then funneling money into pockets of private companies doesn't address the needs of "struggling" lower/middle class workers like tirmming excess/redundancy and supporting social boons like universal healthcare or alternate energy research would.

Bam; I've got one! I own 7 domains. And I'll pretty much guarantee that's more than John McCain has in his godaddy cart, that blog hatin, multi-mansioning, septuagenarian.

Friday, August 15, 2008

New Scam...

Become a part-time "Banquet Captain" or dishwasher at Chevy Chase Club, just for the golf privileges.  I imagine it will be exactly like those Caddy Shack movies where I'll put Baby Ruths in the pool and play golf all day.  I also imagine that's the only way I'll be able to get my foot in the door over there.

Bonus: Duck pin bowling tournament, Lunch and/or Dinner.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I Know That Guy! Kinda.

I have a feeling that Steve is about to blow up a little more. Of course I've been a staunch SDEI supporter since 2005 when I discovered we shared a common passion for things labeled "food product". Maybe now he'll have to get back on the "eat gross things for my personal amusement" horse. If you do one thing today, make sure you read the Cuitlacoche bit. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll struggle to keep from rolling out of your chair.

Incentive Much?

Hang on a second. Let me get this straight. Citizens of Birmingham, UK did such a great job stepping up to meet the city council's recycling goals that said environmentally concerned council distributed 720,000 congratulation pamphlets? Isn't that kinda like thanking local drivers for reducing gasoline consumption by throwing a lit match into a tanker truck?

Some people may be distracted from this by talk of the £15,000 worth of publications that contain the wrong Birmingham's (AL) skyline, but not me. The fact that they were printed in the first place is obviously more insulting. Next time, how about you print up one pamphlet and just have everyone pass it around and share?

The classic pizza party ploy always got my fourth grade class pretty fired up for whatever they wanted us to do. Or, in the US at least, you could get around 373 kegs of beer with that $28,000. Not sure how your beer unit conversions work over there, but one beer for 52,600 people is a pretty nice reward...