When I first caught wind of the term "homeland security" I immediately thought "Nazis". And that was before we started sequestering rights and compromising basic freedoms. This torture bit only serves to further the analogy of a group that's too over-reaching for its own good, striving to eradicate a group of scapegoats before they harm our society. Oh, sorry George, its not "torture", its "enhanced interrogation." Of course that's what the Nazis called it too. And they were a little more squeamish than the Brush administration at the outset, not allowing hypothermia or water boarding. Pussies. How do you expect to make freedom without nearly drowning some people?
Thursday, May 31, 2007
And You Though Cruising Satellite Images Was Fun.
People have been posting links to items of note on Google earth for as long as the service has been around. Well now with street view, there's a lot more landscape, and at closer detail, to peruse. Wired has a list of the interesting stuff people have happened upon already. Pretty amusing, but will people get upset about their privacy, and actually try to block the service? Taking pictures from public thoroughfares should be legal but you never know.
Street View Blowback.
Anyone who knows what a robots.txt file is will think this is hilarious. And if you don't, well screw you.
Gearing Up.
Quick, what's the only downside to using web apps for all your computing needs? No, its not that Google could decide to pull the plug on a whim and leave us all out in the cold with no email, calendar, pictures, news, documents, spreadsheets, and on and on. Its Google, they wouldn't do that to us. No, the correct answer is offline downtime. When you're not in contact with Google you can't edit or view content.
No more! Google Gears is a browser plug-in that promises to make Google apps available offline. Right now its just Reader, downloading 2000 feeds for later; but soon the entire family will be able to pull the plug. Compose emails and send them when you go online, view your calendar offline without having to sync with outlook. The ramifications are... well honestly not good for Microsoft. Now web apps are just as reliable as desktop ones, except that they globally sync documents automatically. Yippie.
No more! Google Gears is a browser plug-in that promises to make Google apps available offline. Right now its just Reader, downloading 2000 feeds for later; but soon the entire family will be able to pull the plug. Compose emails and send them when you go online, view your calendar offline without having to sync with outlook. The ramifications are... well honestly not good for Microsoft. Now web apps are just as reliable as desktop ones, except that they globally sync documents automatically. Yippie.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Maps To Rock Your World.
Remember a while ago when Microsoft thought they were hott shit with their virtual earth or whatever those still images of storefronts was called? Well check out Google's new street view on Google maps. Right off the bat its faster than Microsoft's was plus you can drag the camera angle left and right. It looks damn good too, with some kind of not-quite 3d effect. Spend a little time dragging the little yellow man around San Francisco and I'm sure you'll be asking "How long till my city is in here?"
Friday, May 25, 2007
Don't Put Marbles In Your Nose.
Crap. I had big plans for tonight. Pull up a tub of mac-n-cheese pop in a terrible Jackie Chan movie and huff a can of compressed air from Memorex. But, no, they decided that maybe kids shouldn't be shooting air in their brains and have taken it upon themselves to solve the problem. So the new cans will have a decidedly nasty, bitter smell to them, despite receiving the same innocuous packaging.
I can see this splitting the little not-quite-druggies in three directions:
1) Finding real recreational drugs to do
2) Canned air roulette, where you pick from a selection of identical cans and hope it doesn't smell like vomit.
and 3) Reverting to the more primitive, lactose rife, abuse of whippits.
I can see this splitting the little not-quite-druggies in three directions:
1) Finding real recreational drugs to do
2) Canned air roulette, where you pick from a selection of identical cans and hope it doesn't smell like vomit.
and 3) Reverting to the more primitive, lactose rife, abuse of whippits.
Is You A Moron?
Its difficult to decide whether you'd prefer a stupid leader or a deceptive leader. On the one hand, you don't want someone in charge that's going to purposefully lead you in directions that only serve his own best interests. Of course on the other hand you don't want someone who's too stupid to know that he's not serving anyone's best interest at all.
Lets imagine for a second that President Brush is in charge of dividing up a cake at a party. Everyone watches as he cuts 6 pieces for 12 people, gives one to Chaney and then puts 2 on the floor for Barney. Would you rather he did this because he was trying to screw people out of cake and is obviously an asshole, or because he is an actual, legal, moron?
I'm not saying that's exactly what's going on in Iraq, its obviously more complicated. But those are just about the only two reasons I can think of to explain his stubbornness. This Slate article does a nice job summarizing the "What the fuck are you talking about" crowd's reactions when Bush says things on TV. Things like:
Lets imagine for a second that President Brush is in charge of dividing up a cake at a party. Everyone watches as he cuts 6 pieces for 12 people, gives one to Chaney and then puts 2 on the floor for Barney. Would you rather he did this because he was trying to screw people out of cake and is obviously an asshole, or because he is an actual, legal, moron?
I'm not saying that's exactly what's going on in Iraq, its obviously more complicated. But those are just about the only two reasons I can think of to explain his stubbornness. This Slate article does a nice job summarizing the "What the fuck are you talking about" crowd's reactions when Bush says things on TV. Things like:
"Al-Qaida is going to fight us wherever we are"What? That last one is new to me. Hasn't the middle east been a hotbed of violence since like the beginning of religion?
"If we were to fail, they'd come and get us."
"Al-Qaida will be emboldened"
"The Middle East looked nice and cozy for a while."
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Throw Your Laser Pointer In The Trash Right Now.
That laser pointer you got cause it was just harmless fun, or cool consumer technology, or a useful pointing device just got a lot more dangerous. No, not as an actual threat to safety or anyone's wellbeing, its just not worth the risk of one day having to defend yourself in court. The House wants laser shiners to spend 5 years in jail if they hit a plane with the beam. Just another example of a social phenomenon, granted a mildly unacceptable one, being trumped up in the name of anti-terrorism. We refuse to live in fear of random and senseless acts of violence; so we'll just enact laws to make every conceivable threat a terrorist act. That way no one will act out because everyone is afraid of getting thrown into Guantanamo by our own government. That's the ticket.
Fresh Child Juice.
Look, if you can find a hole on the boy that you want to put your lips on, be my guest.
Got this one from Dee's RSS feed (yeah, I talked him into it)
Its a Swedish invention to aid in removing whatever liquid -or near liquid- may be in or coming out of your child at a rate no sufficient to satisfy a parent. That's right folks, line up to get your snot straws. Just the thought of sucking some phlegm into my soft palate is enough to make me want to ralph.
I Don't Call 411
Not cause it costs money, but because I don't like to talk to people on the phone. Ok, yeah, I also don't call cause it costs money. But now there's Google Voice Local Search, which eliminates both those problems.
You know how Google started connecting you to businesses via Google Maps a while ago with Click To Call? And you also probably know about Google SMS, where you get specific search results by sending SMSes to GOOGLE. Well mash those two up and throw in a dash of voice recognition and you've got GVLS. Its not a very catchy name, but very descriptive.
Check it out, pretty cool if not completely functional.
1-800-466-4411 (1-800-GOOG-411)
You know how Google started connecting you to businesses via Google Maps a while ago with Click To Call? And you also probably know about Google SMS, where you get specific search results by sending SMSes to GOOGLE. Well mash those two up and throw in a dash of voice recognition and you've got GVLS. Its not a very catchy name, but very descriptive.
Check it out, pretty cool if not completely functional.
1-800-466-4411 (1-800-GOOG-411)
Pad Your Brain With Stats.
I knew a bit about the Veyron before I read this article on Jalopnik. I watched the Top Gear episode where Jeremy Clarkson raced an airplane in one, and absorbed lots of tidbits, which were supplemented by James May's top speed run in the monster. But there are a few more nuggets that I feel everyone should know:
- The handbrake is equipped with ABS
- There are 10 radiators, the tenth to cool the hydraulic oil used to raise the spoiler.
- The car rides at 5" in normal mode, at 130 mph it switches to handling mode which raises the spoiler and lowers the suspension 2 inches.
- There's also a top-speed mode, activated by a key in the door, which drops the car to 2.5" and is deactivated if you tap the brake or turn the wheel.
- The car runs for 12 minutes at top speed (253mph) before running out of gas. That's a 50.6 mile range.
- The car will stop from full gait in under 10 seconds.
- 0-60 in 2.64 s
- 0-100 in 6 s
- 0-150 in 11 s
- 0-200 in 22 s
Reminds Me Of My Technic Sets...
You know... those big-boy LEGOs with gears and engines and tiny parts that were really hard to assemble. But for all their simulated workings, they still couldn't figure out how to put a roof on the sports car.
The Army is going hybrid for stealth with this aggressively designed Humvee replacement. Its to be used in situations where troops need to travel at 80 mph without putting off a lot of heat. I'm all for using less fuel over there, but damn, that thing is ugly. But aesthetics aren't the metric, what we really need to know is: how well does it hold up in sand?
Holy Shit.
Its finally happened. I started getting a bad feeling when corporate sponsors started not just advertising at sporting events, but buying the naming rights, and the events themselves. Soon companies were looking for opportunities to buy anything they could get their hands on and rename.
Well now even the government is apparently for sale; and not just the traditional back-room-lobbyist-for-sale we're used to. 20th century Fox has commissioned a special edition US quarter that is legal tender. It has the Silver Surfer on the back and lists the Fantastic Four movie website. You read that right, advertising on our money. How perverse is that?
I like the Silver Surfer and everything, but this gives me the jibblies. How long before I see the Exxon-Mobile Presidential motorcade or the Mountain Dew Supreme Court?
Well now even the government is apparently for sale; and not just the traditional back-room-lobbyist-for-sale we're used to. 20th century Fox has commissioned a special edition US quarter that is legal tender. It has the Silver Surfer on the back and lists the Fantastic Four movie website. You read that right, advertising on our money. How perverse is that?
I like the Silver Surfer and everything, but this gives me the jibblies. How long before I see the Exxon-Mobile Presidential motorcade or the Mountain Dew Supreme Court?
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
But My Creepy and Unsafe Pet Monkey Was Different.
Sorry lady, all my monkey sympathy got used up when Ross had to give Marcelle away to a zoo. (I still think that's code for 'taken out back and shot cause he had rabies') Go ahead and give the article a read. I think this is the best thing to happen to the lady; devoting that much of your life to a pet wearing OshKosh B'Gosh isn't healthy, I don't care where you live. As, for little Armani, well he'd probably be better off in a jungle or something. But don't worry; all monkeys go to heaven, right?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
"I had a feeling a law was being broken, but I didn't know exactly what,"
Oh, yeah. That's how I like my law enforcement; hunch based. Another guy got busted for using a free Internet connection at a cafe from his car. Neither the "criminal" , the store owner, nor the police officer knew surfing the Internet from your car was illegal, but luckily this guy got caught and fined. I mean, what would this country come to if people were just allowed to take advantage of completely free services. Never mind that there's nothing denoting which networks are for public use, and which are not. You know, like security or a detailed SSID. Laws like these reek of legislation without information. Someone suggested we do something about people breaking into networks, but didn't really think about cases where open networks are confused for public access points. Its like throwing people in jail for walking into an occupied bathroom stall, even if the occupant made no effort to keep you out. Like locking the door a subtle throat clear as you approach.
Moral of the story: if you're scamming off my unsecured WiFi network, watch the fuck out; I'm callin the cops when I catch you.
Moral of the story: if you're scamming off my unsecured WiFi network, watch the fuck out; I'm callin the cops when I catch you.
The Plague Is Back.
"Honestly, the Plague!"
Now, I'm not saying that 13 squirrel deaths is on par with the black death, I just always assumed that the plague was something we didn't really have to worry about. You know, ever since we stopped eating rats and flinging shit in the street.
BBC NEWS | Americas | Plague kills monkey at Denver Zoo
Now, I'm not saying that 13 squirrel deaths is on par with the black death, I just always assumed that the plague was something we didn't really have to worry about. You know, ever since we stopped eating rats and flinging shit in the street.
BBC NEWS | Americas | Plague kills monkey at Denver Zoo
Monday, May 21, 2007
David Copperfield Was A Naval Researcher?
How do you try to cloak a ship and accidentally end up tele-porting it to Virginia - and back? Honestly, sometimes conspiracy theorists just sounds ridiculous.
Trimming The Fat.
Well, BMW Oracle is our of the Louis Vuitton running. Luna Rossa, the Italians rocked them up and down the course and manhandled Dickson in the start box. He finally stepped down for the last race (after a double foul on the previous start that basically lost the race), but it wasn't enough. Even after not getting pounded at the start, tactics and boat speed just didn't come together for the Americans. So now the Italians have a spot in the LVC finals. The Spanish, however, took home another win against the seemingly impervious Emirates team. They beat them at the start, and kept them off the whole race, bringing the tally up to 4-2, still not good shape, but not out like BMW. So the cup isn't coming back to America who looked so strong in the fleet racing. I guess that just highlights the difference in match racing an opponent, which is what this is all leading up to in the end.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Newest Celebrity Coupling: De Paciro.
I know the difference between De Niro and Pacino. Ronin, Scent of a woman. Wag the Dog, The Recruit. See? Its easy. But I will admit that when I saw Heat, I didn't notice they were two separate characters until very late in the movie. I just though he was a crooked cop and a bit of an asshole. What? Its an honest, and I contend, not unheard of mistake Whatever. De Niro and Pacino will star in another movie together, apparently sharing more than two scenes this time. I dunno what's gonna happen, but I bet there will be some yelling involved.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Ugh.
The vending machine is out of coke. I don't normally drink soda at work, but I'm working my way through a bag of peanuts I had in my trunk and I've really got a jones for something sweet. So I figure they're always coming out with new innovations in the diet soda realm and I haven't had one in ages. Desperation makes people do stupid things. So I plunked in my 60 cents and hoped for the best.
Diet Coke is still putrid. The peanuts are long gone, the open can has been sitting on my desk for about 3 hours now, and I'm about half way done with it. I really don't know why people subject themselves to this kind of abuse. (the vending machine stocks twice as much diet as regular) I would much rather just drink water than force this swill down. Ugh. Well, mark it down, May 17th 2007 I tried Diet Coke. Don't need to do that again for a while. Maybe I'll schedule a tentative re-taste for late 2010.
Also: Did honey roasted peanuts used to have a lot more sugar all over them or is it just me?
Diet Coke is still putrid. The peanuts are long gone, the open can has been sitting on my desk for about 3 hours now, and I'm about half way done with it. I really don't know why people subject themselves to this kind of abuse. (the vending machine stocks twice as much diet as regular) I would much rather just drink water than force this swill down. Ugh. Well, mark it down, May 17th 2007 I tried Diet Coke. Don't need to do that again for a while. Maybe I'll schedule a tentative re-taste for late 2010.
Also: Did honey roasted peanuts used to have a lot more sugar all over them or is it just me?
Can It Cant?
The America's cup is approaching as the Challengers fight it out. Which might make you think that everyone's pretty much got their designs set in carbon-fibre, if not in stone. (That cliche is a bit too heavy for this sport. Stone boat: slow.)
Well the AC Measurement Committee released a decision earlier in May in response to several clarification requests posed by an unknown team. They're mostly about ACC rule 17 which restricts movement and distortion of submerged appendages.
Mostly what this means is that a team thinks they've got a way to get a little more righting moment through a tack by canting the keel to leeward (diagrams) prior to the tack gaining power and acceleration from the righting moment through and post tack and then returning the keel back to centerline.
I feel like they're trying to figure out how to roll-tack a 70 foot boat with a 20 ton bulb ballast.
Well the AC Measurement Committee released a decision earlier in May in response to several clarification requests posed by an unknown team. They're mostly about ACC rule 17 which restricts movement and distortion of submerged appendages.
Mostly what this means is that a team thinks they've got a way to get a little more righting moment through a tack by canting the keel to leeward (diagrams) prior to the tack gaining power and acceleration from the righting moment through and post tack and then returning the keel back to centerline.
I feel like they're trying to figure out how to roll-tack a 70 foot boat with a 20 ton bulb ballast.
The Lesser Of Two Money Grubbing Evils.
All this talk of 4 dollar gas makes me pissed off cause I'm pretty sure that its mostly going into some fat-cat's inner suit-vest pocket. And yeah, there are arguments about how the price isn't really artificially inflated because of refinery closings and various other processing shortfalls. But honestly, if they spent a little more money on the supply chain and less Benjamins lining the floor of their parakeet cages, maybe there wouldn't be a pinch at the pump. Problem is that it actually helps their bottom line to neglect vital workings to a certain degree; so they can point the blame at some "unavoidable" circumstance, charge us more while doing less, and know for a fact that we'll keep consuming at the same rate.
But that's not what I want to talk about. This article discusses Americans who have backed themselves into a lifestyle where driving isn't optional. A 55 minute commute is shameful, and an SUV makes it painful, but even 4 bucks a gallon isn't enough to uproot an entrenched yuppy. The commentary points out that American drivers just pay what they have to, and cut costs in other areas of the budget. Walmart, for instance, is one place where we could consume less if we needed to. And their earnings report shows that's exactly what is happening.
I do like that news, but the connection made me wonder, if Walmart started selling gas as a loss leader, would I hop on board? I haven't even been to a Walmart in years and years, mostly because they're killing America with homogeneity and cheap crap. But I also hate gas companies and anything that makes them sweat a little seems like a good thing. So obviously I'm torn. At what point would I be unable to resist the call of Wal-gas? 20 cents cheaper? 30 cents? Luckily I don't think any plans are in the works for this, so its just an exercise in hate prioritization and Walmart can stay on the "dead to me" list.
But that's not what I want to talk about. This article discusses Americans who have backed themselves into a lifestyle where driving isn't optional. A 55 minute commute is shameful, and an SUV makes it painful, but even 4 bucks a gallon isn't enough to uproot an entrenched yuppy. The commentary points out that American drivers just pay what they have to, and cut costs in other areas of the budget. Walmart, for instance, is one place where we could consume less if we needed to. And their earnings report shows that's exactly what is happening.
I do like that news, but the connection made me wonder, if Walmart started selling gas as a loss leader, would I hop on board? I haven't even been to a Walmart in years and years, mostly because they're killing America with homogeneity and cheap crap. But I also hate gas companies and anything that makes them sweat a little seems like a good thing. So obviously I'm torn. At what point would I be unable to resist the call of Wal-gas? 20 cents cheaper? 30 cents? Luckily I don't think any plans are in the works for this, so its just an exercise in hate prioritization and Walmart can stay on the "dead to me" list.
There's A Special Place For People Like That.
Usually when someone dies all you hear are accolades about what a difference he made, or how good a man he was. Even if, during his life, many people had many different opinions, somehow death brings out a reverence that joins us all together in mourning. Unless he was a real douche bag who made offensive, ignorant and small minded statements about as often as he exhaled. Leave it to the Slate to line up an epitaph sampling crap that spilled from Jerry Falwell's trap.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Idea.
Ok, here it is the next brainstorm out of DPI. A gas gauge for your dog. No, not really a gas gauge, but an implant that would give you a reliable, and more importantly, wireless reading of how badly your dog has to pee. That way when you come home and she starts spazzing out, you'll know if its genuine affection or urine induced hysteria.
I know this sounds lot like my "baby's thoughts" Machine Learning brainwave analyzer. But this would be an implant measuring relative pressure, rather than a non-invasive analysis of you tater's nuro-electrical feedback.
And by the way, under my current understanding of copyright law, this documents these ideas as my intellectual property. So back off. I guess that's just one more reason for the decline in posted mail and the subsequent rise in rates.
I know this sounds lot like my "baby's thoughts" Machine Learning brainwave analyzer. But this would be an implant measuring relative pressure, rather than a non-invasive analysis of you tater's nuro-electrical feedback.
And by the way, under my current understanding of copyright law, this documents these ideas as my intellectual property. So back off. I guess that's just one more reason for the decline in posted mail and the subsequent rise in rates.
NASA Gets In On Prize-Tracting.
Stanley, did you get a 21 ton weight dropped on you by that damn coyote while you were trekking across the desert? No, I guess not. That's just a Passat instead of a Toureg because the Stanford team doesn't need much ground clearance for this Challenge. Its more Urban in nature. Something about naming your entrants to give them a little anthropomorphic sympathy and then calling the next machine by the same name strikes me as a little off. I mean, they couldn't have just build another robot, called him johnny 5 and treated him like a family member.
But that's not all the news. NASA seems to like the DARPA / xPrize system of outsourcing development to whoever wants the prize money; which I am henceforth dubbing "Prize-tracting." They've got a few bounties out there for gadgets that will send us back to the moon under budget and looking our best.
Take for example the glove design that took home 200 Gees.
Or the competition for a lunar soil digger that no one won on Monday. (keep in mind that no one won the grand challenge the first year either)
And then there's the lunar lander contest that is quickly approaching and has teams battling guidance chips and gravity for 180 seconds.
It is an interesting business model, I have to say. Enticing all the garage geniuses out with semi-substantial rewards. But I'm not really sure the Prize-tract money NASA has put up so far will draw in anything more than folks with interesting ideas and maybe a small company or two. DARPA had the insight to have educational organizations do their dirty work for them, you know, places that like money but are in it for the prestige as well. I can only hope that NASA has a few more ducketts to throw in the ring, or our next mission to the moon, while absolutely a feat of engineering and completely safe, will be in a lawn chair with a garden hose taped to the back.
How Do You Tell When An Italian Is On Strike?
He doesn't got to work some days! Yeah I know that joke needs a little work. But its true. Workers at Ferrari have been on strike since March, protesting the number of super cars the company is making them churn out with their sunsoaked, olive oiled hands. Calm down, that doesn't mean that Ferrari's haven't been getting made. It just means that some of the workers don't go to work on Saturdays as a protest. Shit, I've been on Italian strike my whole life and I didn't even know it.
How About Actually Using Less Gas?
Email chain letters and The Myspace groups organized yesterday as a "buy no gas day" in hopes of sending a message to oil companies. I guess the goal is to back up supply lines one day and show that we can eff up some plans if we want to. But everyone would just buy that gas the next day, so its not really a big deal. Not to mention that Americans can't really boycott gas for a day. Buzzfeed links to Break the Chain, a snopes for chain emails, that lays out the failed "no gas days" that have been attempted since 1999. Attempted and failed. I'm not buying gas today, but that's just cause I filled up on Sunday.
In more important news, I didn't receive a single email about this. Awesome.
In more important news, I didn't receive a single email about this. Awesome.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Boobie Booze.
I've never read a pregnancy book. I hear, though, that there are a few things you shouldn't do while pregnant. You know like, drinking, smoking and shopping cart escalator surfing. I'm just going to take for granted that people are going to abstain from that stuff; but you've still gotta watch what you do even after the kid pops. Cause aside from watching what you do, the kid is basically eating what you eat; if you go the sweater cow route. So you're still not really allowed to drink.
Although that's apparently harder for some moms than others, as evidenced by this product. Milkscreen is a litmus test for alcohol in breast milk. So you can throw back a couple shots and little Cleatus won't feel the effects in his breakfast nip. Alright, fine. But I can't help wondering if breastfeeding is actually better than just formula for a kiddo with a sauce monster mommy.
Although that's apparently harder for some moms than others, as evidenced by this product. Milkscreen is a litmus test for alcohol in breast milk. So you can throw back a couple shots and little Cleatus won't feel the effects in his breakfast nip. Alright, fine. But I can't help wondering if breastfeeding is actually better than just formula for a kiddo with a sauce monster mommy.
Selling Cars Takes Bawls.
Chevy is very proud of their new Malibu design. So much so that the best way they can think to sell it is to put a Camry right next to it in the show room. Ah the old coke-pepsi taste test routine. Wait, was that pepsi-coke taste test? Who ran those things and what were they sposed to prove? Crap.
But I digress, Chevy is renting a crap-load of Camrys to put in their show-rooms so customers can kick tires and compare the two without having to leave the dealer. They never want you to leave the dealer. Its hard to tell if the gambit will work out, cause people might not agree that the Malibu is better, and they still have to convince shoppers to stop at a Chevy dealer to begin with. But at least they're rolling the dice.
Bottom line this means for car buyers: there are going to be a bunch of used Camrys hitting the market in 18 months that have almost no miles on them. But the seats will be blown out and the surfaces will have disgusting people grease all over them.
But I digress, Chevy is renting a crap-load of Camrys to put in their show-rooms so customers can kick tires and compare the two without having to leave the dealer. They never want you to leave the dealer. Its hard to tell if the gambit will work out, cause people might not agree that the Malibu is better, and they still have to convince shoppers to stop at a Chevy dealer to begin with. But at least they're rolling the dice.
Bottom line this means for car buyers: there are going to be a bunch of used Camrys hitting the market in 18 months that have almost no miles on them. But the seats will be blown out and the surfaces will have disgusting people grease all over them.
Gimme Your Wallet And Your Thong.
Yes, crime is a scourge and it would be terrifying to be mugged by a South American gang while waiting for a bus. But I'm willing to bet that you crack a smile when I say that authorities in Colombia are hunting for the "Knicker Robbers." They normally don't hurt their victims, but demand valuables and yes - underwear - at early morning bus stops. This sounds like a group of young men who have their priorities in line.
I can just imagine the group sitting around whatever shit-hole hideout they could find brainstorming 'hooks' they could use to help identify their gang. One member pipes up "We could steal their underwear" just as a joke cause they're running out of steam. They all chuckle for a little and it dies down. Someone else quietly says "I like underwear" Another, gazing off into the distance, barely audible "yeah..." And so the Underwear Bandits are born.
I can just imagine the group sitting around whatever shit-hole hideout they could find brainstorming 'hooks' they could use to help identify their gang. One member pipes up "We could steal their underwear" just as a joke cause they're running out of steam. They all chuckle for a little and it dies down. Someone else quietly says "I like underwear" Another, gazing off into the distance, barely audible "yeah..." And so the Underwear Bandits are born.
How Do We Get Out Of This One?
Verizon has come up with a brilliant excuse for leaking call records and other private information to the federal government's illegal wiretapping program. Brace yourself. Its was "Free Speech". Wow, I know just takes your breath away, doesn't it? Who would be so callous as to attack one of the most hallowed and unifying principles of our nation?
So the Electronic Communications Privacy Act is Unconstitutional and Verizon is a wonderful company that fights for the American way of life that 'the man' is always trying to stifle. And if you believe that I've got a bridge to sell you. Anyone? No takers?
This is particularly ridiculous because their first defense of "just following orders" got shot down by a judge. Sure, it wasn't a good excuse, but it makes the subsequent claim of "oh, it was completely our volition and we were just expressing ourselves" sound particularly weak.
I know, it looks like we're close to nailing some bass-holes to the wall, but the Brush administration is working on pushing through a chunk of legislation that would grant immunity to the poor, picked-upon telcos. Seems kinda shady; Verizon did a favor and gets a little in return.
So the Electronic Communications Privacy Act is Unconstitutional and Verizon is a wonderful company that fights for the American way of life that 'the man' is always trying to stifle. And if you believe that I've got a bridge to sell you. Anyone? No takers?
This is particularly ridiculous because their first defense of "just following orders" got shot down by a judge. Sure, it wasn't a good excuse, but it makes the subsequent claim of "oh, it was completely our volition and we were just expressing ourselves" sound particularly weak.
I know, it looks like we're close to nailing some bass-holes to the wall, but the Brush administration is working on pushing through a chunk of legislation that would grant immunity to the poor, picked-upon telcos. Seems kinda shady; Verizon did a favor and gets a little in return.
Don't Buy Anything.
Here's the set-up: Guy goes to China, buys a bunch of terrible fake watches as souvenirs for family. Customs confiscates them and later contacts him with a $55,300 fine based on the street value of real Rolexes.
Sounds rough, right? Especially when you realize that these are terrible, terrible watches that no one would possibly mistake for a Rolex, and the fine is being levied because they "infringe" on the Rolex Trademark. Secondly, why is the US government assessing this fine at the border, rather than letting Rolex take up the cause if they deem it worthwhile? And third, why the hell is a consumer being fined for trademark infringement? Shouldn't it be the manufacturer of vendor that pays the price. Trademarks are meant to protect consumers from being tricked into believing an imitation product is authentic, not to confer ownership of the mark. This guy wasn't selling the watches, so there is no consumer to "protect" except maybe the victim of this ridiculousness.
Sounds rough, right? Especially when you realize that these are terrible, terrible watches that no one would possibly mistake for a Rolex, and the fine is being levied because they "infringe" on the Rolex Trademark. Secondly, why is the US government assessing this fine at the border, rather than letting Rolex take up the cause if they deem it worthwhile? And third, why the hell is a consumer being fined for trademark infringement? Shouldn't it be the manufacturer of vendor that pays the price. Trademarks are meant to protect consumers from being tricked into believing an imitation product is authentic, not to confer ownership of the mark. This guy wasn't selling the watches, so there is no consumer to "protect" except maybe the victim of this ridiculousness.
Well, If The TV Says So...
I do like things that criticize Bush. The only way to get Americans educated about the travesties we are perpetrating is to buy commercial time during American Idol and Extremely Depressing Family Help Out Show. Of course, having credible testimonies would help out too, and two retired army major generals would probably do just that. We need more people questioning the authority that is backing us into a corner day after day.
Education Starts At Home.
Awesome, teaching kids how to not be douche bags sounds like a great idea.
This seems like an excellent rule, but I'm not really sure when its best imparted. Cause babies definitely do not agree, a funny thing is funny each and every time it happens. Maybe that's why they need to be told about adult humor, rather than just letting them make terrible jokes until they stumble upon the tenet after a long and painful stint in high school.
"What happened, Daddy?" AJ asked, "I burned the sausage," I said.
He looked at me, wheels turning, assessing the situation. Finally, he went for it and said in his finest Donald Trump, "You're fired!"
Cracked me up.
"You're fired! Hahaha," with that fake laugh of his. "You're fired, Daddy! Fired!"
"Aaron Julius," I said in that well-practiced Authority Voice that dims his eyelids. "What did Daddy tell you about 'funny?'"
Bottom lip out. Words an elusive monotone. "It's only funny the first time."
"Good boy."
This seems like an excellent rule, but I'm not really sure when its best imparted. Cause babies definitely do not agree, a funny thing is funny each and every time it happens. Maybe that's why they need to be told about adult humor, rather than just letting them make terrible jokes until they stumble upon the tenet after a long and painful stint in high school.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Craftsmanship.
Road crew working on Rt 50 west just before the 495 interchange-
I have a new car. As a result I've been sensitive, maybe overly so, to all bumps and potholes that I hit as I drive. The stiffer suspension also doesn't help out much. So as I saw you handiwork coming up at 80 miles an hour I was bracing for a shock.
I'm pleased to say that your patch was flawless. Sure it looked like a big metal plate thrown in the road, but I honestly think that driving over your work was smoother than the highway itself. So good job road crew on Rt 50. Maybe you could tell the guys on Rt 29 what's up one of these days. They seem to think leaving 3 inch pipes and manholes sticking out of the blacktop are acceptable. If you know the guys I'm talking about, please let them know this is not the case.
Thank you and keep it up
~ Rt 50 Driver
I have a new car. As a result I've been sensitive, maybe overly so, to all bumps and potholes that I hit as I drive. The stiffer suspension also doesn't help out much. So as I saw you handiwork coming up at 80 miles an hour I was bracing for a shock.
I'm pleased to say that your patch was flawless. Sure it looked like a big metal plate thrown in the road, but I honestly think that driving over your work was smoother than the highway itself. So good job road crew on Rt 50. Maybe you could tell the guys on Rt 29 what's up one of these days. They seem to think leaving 3 inch pipes and manholes sticking out of the blacktop are acceptable. If you know the guys I'm talking about, please let them know this is not the case.
Thank you and keep it up
~ Rt 50 Driver
Friday, May 11, 2007
Just Call Me Lackluster, See What Happens.
New paradigms abound. I know it really helps marketers to lump people into groups, but something about being classified makes me not want to buy shit. If I know you want me to buy something and I get the slightest feeling you're up to something I'm audi. Just be glad that I don't play it like Ronin and shoot up the place. "Got the swag, kept the money, good show!"
Nonsense segways aside, they've decided to break up the "early adopter" tag (since technically a third of people are now, and we can't all be early adopters) into several sub groups. A quarter of the third are now called "Lackluster Veterans," which I can only assume refers to the number of times I've been burned getting hopeful about some swanky new product. Although to be fair, it is not I that is lackluster, its your crappy products that fail to impress.
I recently realized I'm in this group because I do read about new stuff, but I have absolutely no plans to get any of it and I'm often underwhelmed. Why just this morning a friend asked me about the iPhone (somehow people assume I'll be getting one) :
*Sigh* Such an old man. What happened to the young, innocent, uncynical me that got excited about mini-discs and rios and chocolate chip pancakes wrapped around sausage on a stick?
Nonsense segways aside, they've decided to break up the "early adopter" tag (since technically a third of people are now, and we can't all be early adopters) into several sub groups. A quarter of the third are now called "Lackluster Veterans," which I can only assume refers to the number of times I've been burned getting hopeful about some swanky new product. Although to be fair, it is not I that is lackluster, its your crappy products that fail to impress.
I recently realized I'm in this group because I do read about new stuff, but I have absolutely no plans to get any of it and I'm often underwhelmed. Why just this morning a friend asked me about the iPhone (somehow people assume I'll be getting one) :
Jeadly,
In your expert technical opinion, would you switch to ATT (Cingular) because of the iPhone? Looks so appealing. Bluetooth. iTunes. Bluetooth. But I am a Verzion Wireless customer with 4 lines on a family plan. Contract aside… Thoughts?
no, i would not. I would not pay for an iphone if they had it on verizon.
But is that because of iPhone or Verizon? Like what are 1-3 reasons why? I mean, I think I'd rather just have a phone and then an iPod with Bluetooth. But… yeah. Looks so pretty.
Uh, I've been down on gadgets lately. Especially gadgets they tell me will change my life. They're not going to magically fill some void I never thought possible (unless maybe I go live in the desert for 6 years and come back amazed at the advancements they've made.) I mean, look at the "innovations" they've got lined up: live streaming video (what's the point? video was novel, but now they're all doing it cause they can, not cause they should) stupid rings for everything imaginable (i've just gotten rid of all my rings for individual people cause I never know what it sounds like and don't know its me ringing.)
I can't run itunes all the time on my computer cause it sucks up too many resources. I don't buy from itunes music store cause I'm not willing to pay more for no DRM. I've been leaving my ipod in my car lately, so i don't carry it around anyway. And I've been listening to CDs in my car that i haven't heard for a while. I don't use my bluetooth headphones anymore cause I just don't care enough. I've also slowed down buying music on emusic, which is trouble cause I get 40 songs a month regardless.
I've also realized that phones seem cool when you get them and then always seem played out in a year or so cause they keep one-upping the current model, just wait till apple gets on that train, they freaking laid the track in that ploy. If i cared about the phone i had I'd look into something like helio. But when it comes down to it they're all too expensive. 250 bucks for a phone (more for an iphone, right?) and then a hundred bucks a month is unreasonable for my needs. 30 second - 2 minute conversations, occasional text messages and moderate Internet usage.
*Sigh* Such an old man. What happened to the young, innocent, uncynical me that got excited about mini-discs and rios and chocolate chip pancakes wrapped around sausage on a stick?
He Funds Me, He Funds Me Not.
Throwing money in the toilet. Not that I'm saying the Middle East is a watered down cesspool. I hear its very dry there. I'm all about not just signing checks over to George, and requiring no accountability at all to ensure that paying this bill won't just require us to keep paying and paying. Which, as far as I can see, is how this is going to go down.
So by all means, lets make federal funding benchmark dependent. Hell, lets run it like the old no child left behind program, where if a war doesn't pass basic democracy progress tests, it gets funding yanked and left out in the cold. Then parents of soldiers could choose to send their children to a different war that they think is better. Hmmm, maybe that legitimizes a terrible idea, no not war, the no child left behind act.
Honestly, lets run the country like a company. We're bleeding money, sorry, more like hemorrhaging, because of terrible decisions of the CEO. Don't you think that after eight years of mismanagement the stockholders might want the board to can that chump? I don't care if we are in the middle of a product release, or a federal investigation, someone who makes decisions based on gut feelings that prove wrong time and time again (even if he is the decider, or the commander guy) has got to go. He doesn't own the company, we just hired him to manage it for a while. And He's doing a terrible job.
So by all means, lets make federal funding benchmark dependent. Hell, lets run it like the old no child left behind program, where if a war doesn't pass basic democracy progress tests, it gets funding yanked and left out in the cold. Then parents of soldiers could choose to send their children to a different war that they think is better. Hmmm, maybe that legitimizes a terrible idea, no not war, the no child left behind act.
Honestly, lets run the country like a company. We're bleeding money, sorry, more like hemorrhaging, because of terrible decisions of the CEO. Don't you think that after eight years of mismanagement the stockholders might want the board to can that chump? I don't care if we are in the middle of a product release, or a federal investigation, someone who makes decisions based on gut feelings that prove wrong time and time again (even if he is the decider, or the commander guy) has got to go. He doesn't own the company, we just hired him to manage it for a while. And He's doing a terrible job.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
What Big Teeth You Have.
Crackhead creationists. I never though there was much trouble with letting people decide what they want to believe. I think that's mostly because I'd like to believe that deep down, most people aren't stupider than a barrel of oatmeal. I'm wrong. People are dumb. Take for example, the creation museum in Petersburg, Kentucky. They've got a bunch of exhibits of dinosaurs with humans, and explain that Noah took baby dinosaurs onto the arc with him. Best of all, they claim that the T-Rex had big fuck-off teeth to crack open coconuts. See, all animals were vegetarians before Eve created original sin, so despite all the obviously predatory evolutionary developments animals had, they didn't go around killing each other. Right. Stop pretending to educate people.Alright, I know what you're going to say. Recent investigations cast doubt on the T-Rex's predatory status. Its large olfactory and legs combined with small arms and eyes may point towards a scavenger role. But one thing is for sure, that son of a bitch ate meat.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Kool As A Pickle.
I know a few things about pickles. There's dill, sweet, and bread & butter. They come in various size jars, cut in various ways, and I hear they start out as cucumbers. I know they've got a lot of salt and I shouldn't eat too many. I know that a big jug of pickle brine looks irresistibly delicious whether you're shit-drunk or just hung-over. And that's about it.
That said I don't know if this is a good idea. My very best common sense screams no, but I've never been one to shy away from odd food combinations. So what the hell, if I find myself in Mississippi I'll probably try a Kool-aid Pickle.
That said I don't know if this is a good idea. My very best common sense screams no, but I've never been one to shy away from odd food combinations. So what the hell, if I find myself in Mississippi I'll probably try a Kool-aid Pickle.
Hands On Parenting.
Customize Your Junx.
Did you know that you can customize the signature that is appended to emails sent from your Verizon Blackberry? All you have to do is hit:
https://bis.na.blackberry.com/html?brand=vzw
and change the form email so that I'm not bludgeoned with Verizon marketing every time you send me something. Amazing!
And if that doesn't work we should go break a window in some Verizon executive's corner office cause that's ridiculous.
https://bis.na.blackberry.com/html?brand=vzw
and change the form email so that I'm not bludgeoned with Verizon marketing every time you send me something. Amazing!
And if that doesn't work we should go break a window in some Verizon executive's corner office cause that's ridiculous.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Put Some Effort Into It.
Oh man, the next time I can't think of what to get someone, I'm going to get them nothing. I mean, sure, I've gotten people nothing before, but I didn't wrap it and give it to them. What better way to say "I resent having to think of something to give you." Of course TreeHugger does have a point about pointless packaging, except that in this case the packaging is the product. This is about the only think I can think of that I actually hope people will re-gift.
Quack Means No.
Sorry, Sorry. I've been busy making maps or something. Here's one about duck sex to make it up to you.
Some kinds of girl ducks are so hott and are such teases that the boy ducks just can't help themselves. I'm not going to go into the mechanics of how duck rape might go down, but apparently that's pretty much what happens when an inferior male thinks it'd be nice to have some shodies that look like him. So to combat this females have developed intricate love canals with twists and dead ends to prevent the full monty. Tricky, but not tricky enough, because the guys just developed corkscrew duck johnsons to get the job done. Its kinda like a duck nookie arms race. I'll let you click through for the pictures if you're really into it. Eww.
Some kinds of girl ducks are so hott and are such teases that the boy ducks just can't help themselves. I'm not going to go into the mechanics of how duck rape might go down, but apparently that's pretty much what happens when an inferior male thinks it'd be nice to have some shodies that look like him. So to combat this females have developed intricate love canals with twists and dead ends to prevent the full monty. Tricky, but not tricky enough, because the guys just developed corkscrew duck johnsons to get the job done. Its kinda like a duck nookie arms race. I'll let you click through for the pictures if you're really into it. Eww.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Too Bad We Didn't Have Assigned Seating When I Was In School.
Take your top off for a good seat in the dining hall? Brilliant! A school in Denmark is coming under fire for an annual competition where the girls strip it off for the teachers and students. Not because of the event itself, but apparently this year a couple of girls got carried away with baby oil and each other's chests. That's still not the trouble. 4 students filmed it on their cell phones and posted it on youtube. Uh-oh. Sorta, maybe, busted. The school administrator seems real cool about the whole thing. Basically he had a talk with everyone involved and its no big deal. They're still gonna do the event in the future, they just don't want it on the Internet. And as for the Oilers, they didn't even win cause no one wants to see a couple of 18-year-old Danish girls strip off their clothes and oil each other up.
Do you SEE how much cooler Europeans are than Americans? Imagine this happened at any school in the US and think of the onslaught from countless groups that take heinous and irreparable offense.
Do you SEE how much cooler Europeans are than Americans? Imagine this happened at any school in the US and think of the onslaught from countless groups that take heinous and irreparable offense.
- Students' stage strip for teachers |Metro.co.uk (NSFYourMom)
Good Thing Video Games Weren't Realistic When I Was In School.
Another case of a school freaking out and then trying to come up with a legitimate reason for their actions. A student made a map of his school for Counter-Strike. The school called the cops and expelled him.
The police found nothing illegal in the student's bedroom, but confiscated five decorative swords in the search. Sword ownership rights have been under heavy fire since they were determined to be the leading cause of death during the Siege of Acre in the third crusade.
Basically knee jerk reactions cause people are scared of everything these days. Maybe this is just our way of sticking it to middle-east extremist terrorist groups. You can't frighten us cause we're already more scared of ourselves than we'll ever be of you. Or maybe we're slipping back into those good old days of witch-huntery where you'd better accuse someone else of not following the crowd blindly before they decide to dunk you underwater first.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
You're Just Addicted To Sucking.
This article goes on for two pages detailing how email is a leach and a cancer and a detriment, distracting people from the task at hand every chance they get. Then in the last paragraph he says:
I don't get what the fuss is about. I check my email and empty my inbox of items that are no longer pending. When I have access to it I deal with it. I don't feel the sky pressing down on me when I'm cut off from email for a few days, and I never check my work email out of the office. I can. But I don't. I have separate accounts for work, personal, even for business-personal, and of course blog.
So if you can "often" find people like me who use email as a primary communication tool, yet know how to use it and - more importantly- how to not use it, why is anyone railing against email? (besides an opportunity to cash in)
There we go. The problem isn't the technology, its the people who don't have enough sense to use it in a manner that's effective. Seems to me that calling it an email addiction is just a way to avoid telling people they suck at life.
you often find confident people who are immune to e-mail addiction. They just don't understand what the fuss is about. They check e-mail when they need to; they turn it off when they've got stuff to do. It's a tool that serves them.
I don't get what the fuss is about. I check my email and empty my inbox of items that are no longer pending. When I have access to it I deal with it. I don't feel the sky pressing down on me when I'm cut off from email for a few days, and I never check my work email out of the office. I can. But I don't. I have separate accounts for work, personal, even for business-personal, and of course blog.
So if you can "often" find people like me who use email as a primary communication tool, yet know how to use it and - more importantly- how to not use it, why is anyone railing against email? (besides an opportunity to cash in)
Many people who are addicted to e-mail are more correctly described as addicted to work.
There we go. The problem isn't the technology, its the people who don't have enough sense to use it in a manner that's effective. Seems to me that calling it an email addiction is just a way to avoid telling people they suck at life.
Damn That's Easy.
Too bad I'm not really into posting the full text of articles I link to.
Sent to you by Jeremy via Google Reader:
Feed Reader: Google Reader integrates Gmail inline, makes sharing easy
via Lifehacker on May 03, 2007
Google Reader just made it a lot easier to share feed items via email with friends who aren't savvy with feed readers.
The Email link at the bottom of each item now pops up an inline email form that lets you address your message with the same autocomplete available for your Gmail contacts, add a note, and send the item in its entirety, images and all. Google Reader's shared items are intended to be the way you share items with Google Reader for the feed reader-savvy crowd, but I don't know of that many people who've ever done that. Email, on the other hand - god yes. Just give me a quick keyboard shortcut and I'm in love! — Adam Pash
There are people who don't use feed readers? [Official Google Reader Blog]
Things you can do from here:
- Visit the original item on Lifehacker
- Subscribe to Lifehacker using Google Reader
- Get started using Google Reader to easily keep up with all all your favorite sites
CBS Tries Its Hand At 'The Office'
Tired of playing second fiddle with its terrible ideas, CBS is grabbing the concept for The Office and putting their own spin on it. David Spade will replace Steve Carell as the zany office manager, with various other, minor, changes in characters.
Dwayne will play a more stern, grizzled Iraq war veteran that will lend more credibility to his authority. CBS is also making various format changes to suit their viewers, mostly making the show less confusing.
Removing disorienting camera angles and telling viewers when to laugh should go a long way in enticing typical CBS audiences to stick around. Of course there are critics that say thowing the same concept with different actors won't automatically produce a hit show, but CBS remains optimistic and is venturing forward with near reckless abandon.
"The budding romance between Jen and Tom is really the foundation of the show," said director Howard Gatson, who has made their connection "more believable" by casting more traditionally attractive actors in the roles. "People are going to tune in every week to see if Jen will ever leave her fiancé to be with Tom. And they'll be so relieved when she finally does in episode three."
Dwayne will play a more stern, grizzled Iraq war veteran that will lend more credibility to his authority. CBS is also making various format changes to suit their viewers, mostly making the show less confusing.
The faux-documentary format has been dropped in favor of a traditional three-camera setup, and a laugh track has been added to fill in any painful, awkward pauses in dialogue that might slow down the show.
Removing disorienting camera angles and telling viewers when to laugh should go a long way in enticing typical CBS audiences to stick around. Of course there are critics that say thowing the same concept with different actors won't automatically produce a hit show, but CBS remains optimistic and is venturing forward with near reckless abandon.
They have already commissioned two 12-episode seasons of the reworked sitcom, tentatively titled The Office, and slotted the show for their most competitive time slot, Thursdays at 8:30 p.m.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Yahtzee!
Is there room in this town for two event planning/invitation web service (this town being you know, the whole world)? Evite owners Ticketmaster seem to think there's not.Whoa! Hold it right there. I knew there was a reason I hated Evite so much. They're owned by Ticketmaster? I swear, I have a sixth sense for douche-bag parent companies.
Why Don't You Just Tax My Ears?
This is so silly I don't know if I can explain it.
So there's a big hike in the works for Internet radio royalties. Almost a 3x hike, that will surely drive a lot of stations off the air. Some have proposed a solution of just not playing any RIAA music and settling the royalty fees with independent labels at a reasonable rate. Seems reasonable, two parties doing business, providing services and products in exchange for payment. Unfortunately it won't work because the RIAA created royalties collection agency, SoundExchange, somehow swindled a compulsory license out of the Copyright Office over all recorded music. That means that they are entitled to collect royalties on all music played on Internet radio and the artists or labels they "represent" can pay to join the association to collect their cut. What this means is that an entity that does not own the rights to property is collecting fees for performances, even if the owner doesn't want to, and then takes a cut before passing it on to its owner. What if the artist never comes looking for their royalties? Well, SoundExchange is entitled to all unclaimed fees. Wow. How the hell did this happen? We're going to have to change the expression to "Death, Taxes and the RIAA"
Lawmakers: We don't need music middle men any more. Distribution, marketing and compensation aren't insurmountable hurdles to the everyman. In fact it is becoming more and more evident that the RIAA exists only because of the laws channeling money into it, which it uses to lobby for laws that will force more income. This is good for the RIAA, but not for the Musicians and Consumers; the hosts to the RIAA parasite.
So there's a big hike in the works for Internet radio royalties. Almost a 3x hike, that will surely drive a lot of stations off the air. Some have proposed a solution of just not playing any RIAA music and settling the royalty fees with independent labels at a reasonable rate. Seems reasonable, two parties doing business, providing services and products in exchange for payment. Unfortunately it won't work because the RIAA created royalties collection agency, SoundExchange, somehow swindled a compulsory license out of the Copyright Office over all recorded music. That means that they are entitled to collect royalties on all music played on Internet radio and the artists or labels they "represent" can pay to join the association to collect their cut. What this means is that an entity that does not own the rights to property is collecting fees for performances, even if the owner doesn't want to, and then takes a cut before passing it on to its owner. What if the artist never comes looking for their royalties? Well, SoundExchange is entitled to all unclaimed fees. Wow. How the hell did this happen? We're going to have to change the expression to "Death, Taxes and the RIAA"
The RIAA tells people that simply listening to music without paying for it is a terrible crime that people should be punished for. Yet... the RIAA getting money for non-RIAA music and not paying the deserving artists that money is perfectly legal? Damn, the RIAA lobbyists are good.
Lawmakers: We don't need music middle men any more. Distribution, marketing and compensation aren't insurmountable hurdles to the everyman. In fact it is becoming more and more evident that the RIAA exists only because of the laws channeling money into it, which it uses to lobby for laws that will force more income. This is good for the RIAA, but not for the Musicians and Consumers; the hosts to the RIAA parasite.
How Rude.
I just got a phone call. "Hello." "Click." WTF? I hit the call history and look at the number. It rings again in a couple seconds. Same number. By now I'm looking at the reverse phone number lookup results online. York, PA huh? "Hello." "I'm sorry, I have the wrong number. Click." "..." Alright, you dialed the wrong number, twice now, but you don't have to act like I have some kind of phone plague that can be transmitted through cell towers. Chat me up a little, tell me an amusing story. I feel like this could be an exercise to help ice breaking skills and general telephone cordiality. Once a week hit ten numbers on the keypad and when the receiver lifts on the other end ask for someone. Chances are he won't be there, but don't just hang up. Fight that incredibly awkward feeling inside and have an amusing little exchange. Make up a story about an escaped monkey or ask their preference as if they were settling a raging debate in your living room. Come on folks, you can do better than "Click."
Pinching Off A Fresh Loaf.
What's today? Holy Crap, its May? Wow, that means all these juicy stories have just been sitting in my out box for half a month. What a shame. Well, lets see if we can't make banana bread out of these spotty, smelly and sickeningly mushy articles.
Single people have too many choices and are constantly search for something better. The article discusses the effects of speed-dating and online matchups, but the real tidbit is for the short guys in the crowd. If you're 5' 8" and make $146,000 more than a 6' competitor, ladies won't know you're not as tall. Or they just won't care you're shorter. 5'2" guys, you need $277,000 more; sorry. And of course men don't care what women do- "Oh, you work in a slaughterhouse? That's great, what time do you get off work?"
I only like this article cause its titled "Dorks Ahoy." Its about a little pudge car you can rent in San Francisco that gets 60 mpg. The down side of course is that everyone will be laughing, pointing and yelling "Dorks Ahoy!"
Dodge shortened their slogan from: "Grab Life by the Horns" to simply "Grab Life" They're trying to make it appeal more to women. (And people not from Texas who have an IQ between 74 and 83) Of course to me it says "We're going to start selling energy drinks" Oh and also, if you'd have asked me what Dodge's slogan was before I read this I would have guessed "Please buy our cars. Our mom says they're good"
What do you do when you've got a really cool idea that's technically illegal? Well, if you're the US government, you find a loophole so you can say you're still following the rules while you break them. Take, for example, the Law of Armed Conflict which states that an automated weapons system cannot fire without authorization from a human operator. The idea here is to let the robots target weapons and let them attack at will to destroy the AK-47, RPG, or what have you. Of course if people are felled in the process that's a shame and designated ' collateral damage'. The Pentagon isn't admitting anything, but you can see the proposal from the Naval Surface Warfare Center . Wait, isn't this idea from RoboCop 2?
Guerrilla operations in London. Luckily these Guerrillas are just pissed off that there aren't as many public benches as there used to be. So they haul them to a spot, bolt them down, and have a sit. Seems more like community service than vandalism.
Most wind tunnels don't take into account the ground rushing underneath a car as it speeds along at 200 mph. Luckily now there's the Haas rolling wind tunnel so the boys can play hot wheels with their big cars.
Viacom sent out a bunch of DMCA takedown notices to youtube, some of which were for content they didn't even have the rights to. The EFF was about to make them cry like little girls in court, but they decided to do everything the EFF wanted before it got that far. Mostly because the EFF wanted them to follow the law and use business practices that wouldn't leave them open to being slapped around a courtroom.
Too drunk to ride home? Sleep in an ATM vestibule with your horse. The bank didn't really have any problem with it except for the horse's "deposits" which were apparently in a currency not accepted by that particular branch.
Screw pandas. Some species are sposed to die out. This is one.
The Cape Wind Project is continuing, despite the nearly constant barrage of opposition from "citizens" groups. They keep trying to figure out a way to keep this clean, beautiful energy farm from getting built. Lookit, this is going to happen; the more effort you put into opposing it, the more pissed off you'll be when it gets built.
Single people have too many choices and are constantly search for something better. The article discusses the effects of speed-dating and online matchups, but the real tidbit is for the short guys in the crowd. If you're 5' 8" and make $146,000 more than a 6' competitor, ladies won't know you're not as tall. Or they just won't care you're shorter. 5'2" guys, you need $277,000 more; sorry. And of course men don't care what women do- "Oh, you work in a slaughterhouse? That's great, what time do you get off work?"
I only like this article cause its titled "Dorks Ahoy." Its about a little pudge car you can rent in San Francisco that gets 60 mpg. The down side of course is that everyone will be laughing, pointing and yelling "Dorks Ahoy!"
Dodge shortened their slogan from: "Grab Life by the Horns" to simply "Grab Life" They're trying to make it appeal more to women. (And people not from Texas who have an IQ between 74 and 83) Of course to me it says "We're going to start selling energy drinks" Oh and also, if you'd have asked me what Dodge's slogan was before I read this I would have guessed "Please buy our cars. Our mom says they're good"
What do you do when you've got a really cool idea that's technically illegal? Well, if you're the US government, you find a loophole so you can say you're still following the rules while you break them. Take, for example, the Law of Armed Conflict which states that an automated weapons system cannot fire without authorization from a human operator. The idea here is to let the robots target weapons and let them attack at will to destroy the AK-47, RPG, or what have you. Of course if people are felled in the process that's a shame and designated ' collateral damage'. The Pentagon isn't admitting anything, but you can see the proposal from the Naval Surface Warfare Center . Wait, isn't this idea from RoboCop 2?
Guerrilla operations in London. Luckily these Guerrillas are just pissed off that there aren't as many public benches as there used to be. So they haul them to a spot, bolt them down, and have a sit. Seems more like community service than vandalism.
Most wind tunnels don't take into account the ground rushing underneath a car as it speeds along at 200 mph. Luckily now there's the Haas rolling wind tunnel so the boys can play hot wheels with their big cars.
Viacom sent out a bunch of DMCA takedown notices to youtube, some of which were for content they didn't even have the rights to. The EFF was about to make them cry like little girls in court, but they decided to do everything the EFF wanted before it got that far. Mostly because the EFF wanted them to follow the law and use business practices that wouldn't leave them open to being slapped around a courtroom.
Too drunk to ride home? Sleep in an ATM vestibule with your horse. The bank didn't really have any problem with it except for the horse's "deposits" which were apparently in a currency not accepted by that particular branch.
Screw pandas. Some species are sposed to die out. This is one.
The Cape Wind Project is continuing, despite the nearly constant barrage of opposition from "citizens" groups. They keep trying to figure out a way to keep this clean, beautiful energy farm from getting built. Lookit, this is going to happen; the more effort you put into opposing it, the more pissed off you'll be when it gets built.
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