Politician

I think I'd feel better about the leadership of this country if our leaders' statements were swapped out for lines from movies and TV. Instead of

"If money isn't loosened up, this sucker could go down." -George W Bush

Instead imagine fox news cutting to a clip of

"Shit just got real." -Martin Lawrence

It really conveys that he understands the gravity of the situation. And I wouldn't feel nearly as bad about the vacuous drivel coming out of a possible world leader

"Um, helping, oh, it’s got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade — we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today." -Sara Palin

...if it was complete and utter hilarity.

"Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The Democratic vote is the right thing to do Philadelphia, so do." - Dennis Reynolds

Update

Holy Crap. I don't mean to harp on this (well maybe I do) but this person isn't fit to run a Jamba Juice stand.

• Palin: Her Own Parody
  

At around 4:45 in this video Katie talks about the current administration's penchant for "nation building" and asks how Sara would change or improve the strategy.

Katie: "How, specifically, will you spread democracy throughout the world?"

Retarted Gameshow Contestant: "Specifically we will make every effort possible to help spread democracy for those who desire freedom, independence tolerance, respect for equality; that is the whole goal here..."

I'm sorry this isn't the final round of Family Feud and the category wasn't 

"concepts that make your tummy feel warm."  Using the word "specific" does not magically make your answer specific.  That would entail not using vague declarations someone beat into your head 15 minutes ago.  Lets see if I can trim this down to just the facts.  "How will you spread democracy?" "Effort."  Which immediately brings to mind the poster on my wall:

"When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do."

 McCain's inclusion of Palin on the ticket makes the entire campaign unqualified, dangerous and unelectable.

Baby, I've Changed.

Its almost like we've got a three party system going on here. Its the Democrats vs. the Republicans vs. the Republicans. Nevermind that the two types of Republicans are nearly indistinguishable from the lame-duck to the next duck in line. The latter Republicans have decided that its time for a change, stating that "Washington isn't working". Well maybe you should get your asses back there and punch the time clock while you're still allowed in the building. But despite the new stream of rhetoric about change and fixing "things" no one seems to be able to say what the New Grand Old Party would do differently from the current one, apart from understand less about the needs of people who don't have summer homes. Here are a few of the "changes" I noticed on McCain's site that we can we can look forward to:

• Magically reducing gas prices (he must have that wand George lost), continuing tax cuts for the wealthy and various other tax breaks that reduce revenue without explaining how to make up the difference.
  
• Fighting climate change by producing more power, domestically drilling for oil (growing our own opium) or burning coal and crops. Rewarding oil companies to keep gouging us and paying little
  attention to technologies that would ease their strangle hold and
  actually reduce global warming.
  
• More war; somehow increasing the size of the military despite it being underfunded and over-deployed as it is.
  
• Free range, sink or swim health care.
  
• Population increases through abstinence-only education and overturning Roe v. Wade; reducing our dependence on foreign adoptions. (domestically drilling for babies)
  
• Protecting people's rights by outlawing same-sex marriages. (not sure I follow)
  
• Protecting children from the dark side of the Internet... somehow.
  
• Protecting human dignity. (no torture, maybe?)
• Ensure that everyone keeps a trigger lock on their armor piercing high capacity magazine assault rifles.
• Provide high-speed Internet to all Americans (even you John?) by allowing local communities to build connections if the local telcom monopoly has waived its right of first refusal.
  

Its kinda like McCain is the boyfriend who did something stupid and
noticed that his lady is really pissed off. He wants to make it right,
but doesn't know what's wrong, and not if it means making real changes. The
classic "I'm not going to tell you if you don't already know." Lets
hope he doesn't show up tonight with wilted carnations and a 6-pack of condoms.

• Editorial - John McCain Runs Against Themselves - Editorial - NYTimes.com

That's The Ticket.

McCain choosing Palin as a running mate to ease concerns about his age is like me governing with a child that will be born, not this year, but in the following December. Literally still a twinkle in his father's eye.

the addition ... could ease concerns of some voters who worry about McCain's age. Palin is 28 years younger than McCain

You have to think they aren't mostly fighting ageism with the move, but trying to court those Hilary followers who were already contemplating voting McCain out of spite. I'm not sure what to say about someone who would jump to an ancient maverick conservative just to not vote for Obama. I guess they have different priorities than I do.

So McCain says "You've got a black guy? Well... we've got a woman!" (pulls woman out of tophat) You're right McCain, there are more women in the US than black people; very crafty splitting people's desire for an alternative candidate. But you know me, I've got to look at the flip side of the coin. What about all those folk who thought they were going to be safe with the traditional old white dude ticket? They might have been hoping for someone a little more Republican to round out McCain.

Basically asking certain Americans to chose which they love more: sexism or racism.

• McCain said to pick Sarah Palin as running mate - MarketWatch