Friday, February 08, 2008
Well... I'm Pissed Off.
Letter to the dude who smashed my window and stole my iPod:
Fuck You.
I'm sure it was totally worth the 3 seconds of "work" for you. You'll probably get 50 bucks for that thing on ebay. More, if you'd bothered to unplug the $80 FM transmitter instead of just ripping it from the car, leaving me with a cigarette lighter shaped piece of plastic and you with a dangling cable. (You're gonna need that charger too, cause the battery only lasts like 20 mins.) I didn't think it was worth stealing a three year old iPod, but you obviously did. Thanks for making me clean up broken glass from all the little crevasses of my seats and driving to work very late with my heat blasting. Oh and the $250+ replacement cost is nice too. Bonus, I can't get a new window till tomorrow so I'm doing no-rain dances every 5 minutes.
But hey, you didn't steal my $250 mountain hardware jacket in the passenger seat, or the $90 bluetooth headset, or my $110 curling broom. I'd have taken issue with any of those, but the iPod (though its served me well) isn't any great loss. I would kick you in the balls for breaking my window though. How about next time just leave me a note when you wanna steal virtually worthless shit from me and I'll leave it on the ground next to the car. No need to go all smashy-smashy with stuff I like.
I hope the cops catch you doing something mildly illegal and kick you in the balls for me. I don't want to see you in jail or anything. I just want your morning ruined and something you like smashed.
Sincerely,
Grey RSX owner on Quebec St.
Fuck You.
I'm sure it was totally worth the 3 seconds of "work" for you. You'll probably get 50 bucks for that thing on ebay. More, if you'd bothered to unplug the $80 FM transmitter instead of just ripping it from the car, leaving me with a cigarette lighter shaped piece of plastic and you with a dangling cable. (You're gonna need that charger too, cause the battery only lasts like 20 mins.) I didn't think it was worth stealing a three year old iPod, but you obviously did. Thanks for making me clean up broken glass from all the little crevasses of my seats and driving to work very late with my heat blasting. Oh and the $250+ replacement cost is nice too. Bonus, I can't get a new window till tomorrow so I'm doing no-rain dances every 5 minutes.
But hey, you didn't steal my $250 mountain hardware jacket in the passenger seat, or the $90 bluetooth headset, or my $110 curling broom. I'd have taken issue with any of those, but the iPod (though its served me well) isn't any great loss. I would kick you in the balls for breaking my window though. How about next time just leave me a note when you wanna steal virtually worthless shit from me and I'll leave it on the ground next to the car. No need to go all smashy-smashy with stuff I like.
I hope the cops catch you doing something mildly illegal and kick you in the balls for me. I don't want to see you in jail or anything. I just want your morning ruined and something you like smashed.
Sincerely,
Grey RSX owner on Quebec St.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
The Tax Race.
So I did my taxes last month just cause that's how I roll. I E-filed my Federal and Maryland returns, but my circumstances dictated that I hand calculate and mail in my DC return. No biggie, my taxes are pretty transparent and I can follow simple instructions. I just thought it would take them a little longer to open an envelope and review the information. A couple weeks later and who's the first pony to finish? That's right, the little bastard of a non-state DC direct deposited my refund first. So in addition to taxing me less and refunding me more, they also process paper requests faster than other entities can receive electronic mail. Rock on.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Don't Worry, You're Still Rockstars To Me.
Next up in the awesome lawyering department (this time the American
division) is the boys in charge of putting the screws to Take-Two and Rockstar games. (Who got busted because there was a way to hack into their GTA: San
Andreas code and bang your in-game girlfriend. Apparently everyone
was fine with the murder and whatnot, but polygon sex is
unacceptable.)
I find this especially stupefying because 1: it was
already rated Mature (you think rating it AO keeps it out of the hands of any more kids?) and 2: users had
to modify the game to get this scenario. If we're gonna allow
class-action suits based on user mods, I can think of quite a few folk who
should be sweating bullets.
Anyway, the decision is that everyone who bought the game (and still
has their RECEIPT) gets $35 back. If you don't have the proof (I guess
the game itself doesn't count) you get $5. Oh and the slicksters that
prosecuted get a million bucks. I seriously doubt 35 clams can
make you forget you saw CJ hitting the biscuit, but if you did its your
own damn fault.
I'm thinking of starting a movement for those unoffended by Rockstar's shenanigans. Hell, I'll pay you $5 for every hidden sex-themed mini-game you sneak into your next release.
division) is the boys in charge of putting the screws to Take-Two and Rockstar games. (Who got busted because there was a way to hack into their GTA: San
Andreas code and bang your in-game girlfriend. Apparently everyone
was fine with the murder and whatnot, but polygon sex is
unacceptable.)
I find this especially stupefying because 1: it was
already rated Mature (you think rating it AO keeps it out of the hands of any more kids?) and 2: users had
to modify the game to get this scenario. If we're gonna allow
class-action suits based on user mods, I can think of quite a few folk who
should be sweating bullets.
Anyway, the decision is that everyone who bought the game (and still
has their RECEIPT) gets $35 back. If you don't have the proof (I guess
the game itself doesn't count) you get $5. Oh and the slicksters that
prosecuted get a million bucks. I seriously doubt 35 clams can
make you forget you saw CJ hitting the biscuit, but if you did its your
own damn fault.
I'm thinking of starting a movement for those unoffended by Rockstar's shenanigans. Hell, I'll pay you $5 for every hidden sex-themed mini-game you sneak into your next release.
Jan-u-riffic.
Yeah, I've got some work to do. But I'm gonna make an effort right now to get through all the things I marked DPworthy in January. Then maybe I can start getting to February's pile.
While technically from December (gulp, last year already?) I can't seem you junk this article about Corporate strategies for getting free solar arrays installed on top of their facilities. Basically you've got to find an investment company that will lay out for the installation and equipment (the prohibitive part of solar right now) and then essentially lock in a rate to pay for energy for the next 10 years. The investors have guaranteed a return and the consumer has green power now with no buy-in or rate hike. Of course as solar tech gets cheaper they might start wondering why they're paying a higher premium for old technology, but such is life when you invest in any tech.
I don't know why, but I assume guinea pigs have tiny bones that make them more trouble than they're worth.
Luckily, these guys aren't near any national borders cause repeated "accidental" invasions might get on your neighbor's nerves after a while. Also, I bet you could turf the crap out of someone's lawn with a 70 ton tank.
I first thought Canada was giving us a run for our money in the silly lawsuit department. Not since that old woman sued McDonald's over hot coffee have I seen something so seemingly crap-tastic. A drug addict has successfully sued her meth dealer for providing a substance that put her in a coma. Apparently he knew the substance was addictive and was only in it to make money. Wait. This is genius. Instead of trying to catch and jail the drug dealers, just have their clients sue them. That turns the old "make the drug trade unprofitable" tact on its head. Sure, you could sell $500 worth of smack to someone, but you'll just have a $50,000 lawsuit on your hands. Dammit, the Canadians have done it again.
TechDirt found a pretty cool site that helps connect business owners who are victims of protection rackets. Right now its a listing of those who defy the mob's intimidation, but they threw around a neat idea where members would compare protection 'rates'. It could be like shopping for car insurance online, and picking the best policy for the money. I just have one question: Does the mob cover water damage?
A while ago my brother sent me a link about double clutch transmissions. They seem pretty cool and now BMW is making them available to the masses. Well, the part of the masses who buy $65,000 German sports cars.
Sometimes a simple ad campaign is just what people need to explain complex concepts. F*&king Recycle seems to be just that.
Please, please, please... stop putting in speed bumps. You'll be my hero if you use chicanes as traffic calming measures instead. And my suspension will buy you a beer.
The economy is in the pooper and George is rushing a nice fat "please spend more money" check to an ass load of Americans. The only trouble is that I don't want to buy more stuff for the sake of consuming. I think I conversation I had with my house-mate sums up my pretty well. "I think we spend an appropriate amount on stupid shit". Part of it is the fiscal responsibility that, for some reason, runs deep in my veins. But I also feel a pang of guilt every time I open the trash can to throw away another piece of packaging. So even if I do get a sudden flood of disposable income I'm probably not gonna go buy an extra something I don't need.
While technically from December (gulp, last year already?) I can't seem you junk this article about Corporate strategies for getting free solar arrays installed on top of their facilities. Basically you've got to find an investment company that will lay out for the installation and equipment (the prohibitive part of solar right now) and then essentially lock in a rate to pay for energy for the next 10 years. The investors have guaranteed a return and the consumer has green power now with no buy-in or rate hike. Of course as solar tech gets cheaper they might start wondering why they're paying a higher premium for old technology, but such is life when you invest in any tech.
I don't know why, but I assume guinea pigs have tiny bones that make them more trouble than they're worth.
Luckily, these guys aren't near any national borders cause repeated "accidental" invasions might get on your neighbor's nerves after a while. Also, I bet you could turf the crap out of someone's lawn with a 70 ton tank.
I first thought Canada was giving us a run for our money in the silly lawsuit department. Not since that old woman sued McDonald's over hot coffee have I seen something so seemingly crap-tastic. A drug addict has successfully sued her meth dealer for providing a substance that put her in a coma. Apparently he knew the substance was addictive and was only in it to make money. Wait. This is genius. Instead of trying to catch and jail the drug dealers, just have their clients sue them. That turns the old "make the drug trade unprofitable" tact on its head. Sure, you could sell $500 worth of smack to someone, but you'll just have a $50,000 lawsuit on your hands. Dammit, the Canadians have done it again.
TechDirt found a pretty cool site that helps connect business owners who are victims of protection rackets. Right now its a listing of those who defy the mob's intimidation, but they threw around a neat idea where members would compare protection 'rates'. It could be like shopping for car insurance online, and picking the best policy for the money. I just have one question: Does the mob cover water damage?
A while ago my brother sent me a link about double clutch transmissions. They seem pretty cool and now BMW is making them available to the masses. Well, the part of the masses who buy $65,000 German sports cars.
Sometimes a simple ad campaign is just what people need to explain complex concepts. F*&king Recycle seems to be just that.
Please, please, please... stop putting in speed bumps. You'll be my hero if you use chicanes as traffic calming measures instead. And my suspension will buy you a beer.
The economy is in the pooper and George is rushing a nice fat "please spend more money" check to an ass load of Americans. The only trouble is that I don't want to buy more stuff for the sake of consuming. I think I conversation I had with my house-mate sums up my pretty well. "I think we spend an appropriate amount on stupid shit". Part of it is the fiscal responsibility that, for some reason, runs deep in my veins. But I also feel a pang of guilt every time I open the trash can to throw away another piece of packaging. So even if I do get a sudden flood of disposable income I'm probably not gonna go buy an extra something I don't need.SHENANIGANS!
Whoa! I dunno if you read that "Un-article" two posts down yet, but USA Today totally changed the link content 15 seconds after I posted it. You SOBs can't just change the content of permalinks whenever you want. People are trying to make fun of you over here. Luckily there's internet caching, or the whole effing world would be unaccountable and think I'm a super ass for not sympathizing with a poor duped high schooler. Come on, based on the original article, he sounds like a fib spinner. Admit it.
Player's recruiting tale turns into a mystery 02/06/08 - 08:05 AM It's unclear whether Kevin Hart was duped or staged a hoax himself. What is clear is that the 6-4, 305-pound offensive lineman from Fernley (Nev.) High School will not be signing with California today -- the first day of the national signing period for football players -- or any other major Division I program.
Hart held a news conference Friday at Fernley, saying he had chosen the Golden Bears over Oregon. He said he'd talked with Cal coach Jeff Tedford "a lot, and the fact that the head coach did most of the recruiting of me kind of gave me that real personal experience." "This guy apparently has no offers," said Bobby Burton, recruiting analyst for Rivals.com. "I've never run across a case like this. It ranks right up there." Hart is rated as a two-star prospect by Rivals, the lowest level of players the service ranks. His father declined to comment when reached by the Reno Gazette-Journal on Monday. "We have not been recruiting him," said California associate media relations director John Sudsbury, who cited NCAA rules that prevent him from commenting further about recruits. "That's all we can say."
An official from Oregon denied having contact with Hart. "We're kind of perplexed. We've not ever heard of the young man," said David Williford, assistant AD for media services. Hart also claimed to have recently taken a recruiting trip to Oklahoma State, but "he doesn't appear to be someone that we're recruiting," associate AD Kevin Klintworth said. The Lyon County School District, in which Fernley resides, issued a release Tuesday that said it has been unable to verify Hart was offered an athletic scholarship or letter of intent to play football at California, Oregon or Oklahoma State.
To see more of USAToday.com, or to subscribe, go to http://www.usatoday.com
Un-Article.
I know I'm just perpetuating this but oh well.
Some high schooler has lied about being recruited by not one, but two college football programs. Ok, no biggie. I bet that crap happens all the time. Hell, there was a kid named Lyin' Brian who lived on my hall freshman year who was "recruited" by the skins as a kicker. Mhmm... Okay Bri.
The only news story is how the hell he got, and continues to get, national press coverage of this non-event. "Sub-par high school football player not pursued by college football recruiter" Wow, stop the e-presses so we can tuck that nugget on page D-2.
And like I said, I know I'm only making it worse. But I can only hope to convey the goal of this post is to point out the irony of a second USA Today article about a kid who shouldn't have had the first one written to begin with.
Some high schooler has lied about being recruited by not one, but two college football programs. Ok, no biggie. I bet that crap happens all the time. Hell, there was a kid named Lyin' Brian who lived on my hall freshman year who was "recruited" by the skins as a kicker. Mhmm... Okay Bri.
The only news story is how the hell he got, and continues to get, national press coverage of this non-event. "Sub-par high school football player not pursued by college football recruiter" Wow, stop the e-presses so we can tuck that nugget on page D-2.
And like I said, I know I'm only making it worse. But I can only hope to convey the goal of this post is to point out the irony of a second USA Today article about a kid who shouldn't have had the first one written to begin with.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Bush League Math.
Lets say that I took a look at my finances recently and I decided that I need to buy more beer, tennis shoes and Caribbean vacations. Like twice as much, and to make all that happen I'm going to stop buying toothpaste, bread and wood polish. Also, on an unrelated note I find that working 40 hours a week is cutting into my style so I'm gonna trim that back to around 29. I know that means less money for shoes and whatnot, but the shoe-buying agenda can't be stopped now anyway and I'll have a higher approval rating happier for a short while with more free time to drink and wear shoes. As a result, I'm gonna come up about $400 short every month which is no problem because I can just short the landlord a couple Benjamins or skim off the top of my kid's college fund. The rest will go onto a high interest credit card that I got in college.
What would you think? Would you put me in charge of 300 million people's care and protection? Maybe that just sounds extra crazy to me because I try to run a surplus monthly budget whereby I spend LESS than I make even after paying down the various debts I've incurred.
I'd like to introduce a bill to mandate that once a week for the rest of his term, a random American will be allowed to strike George Bush across the face with an open hand.
What would you think? Would you put me in charge of 300 million people's care and protection? Maybe that just sounds extra crazy to me because I try to run a surplus monthly budget whereby I spend LESS than I make even after paying down the various debts I've incurred.
I'd like to introduce a bill to mandate that once a week for the rest of his term, a random American will be allowed to strike George Bush across the face with an open hand.
Friday, February 01, 2008
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