Now I KNOW.

Okay, so a couple weeks ago I got pseudo rear-ended whilst on my way to return merchandise to the local Best Buy. (this is not an endorsement of Best Buy, in fact, tally that up on your list of reasons why retail is for suckers.) It was the old triple car bumper brawl where one person hits another and the hitee drifts forward like a jackass and crunches my tail as I gaze fixedly at the mirror in disbelief. Anyway, it wasn't very serious, but the bottom of my bumper was cracked thusly:

Do you see it? That line near the light part? Well, there's also some spider cracking of the paint in there too. The kinda thing that would have pissed me off every time I walked past the back of my car. If it'd been the civic I might have been less of a stickler about it. But I like my car and since I was just sitting there, and completely not at fault, I wanted them to fix it; damn it. So I jumped through all the insurance company loops. Talked to adjuster after adjuster; gave no less than 4 recorded statements; drove to my insurance company's office to have an estimate written. After an excruciatingly long period (of about 6 days) they all finally agreed that I shouldn't have to pay for the repairs. Booyah; I drop the RSX off at the body shop they specified and was shuttled to the Enterprise to take possession of this behemoth.
It was this or a white panel van. Seriously, that's all they had on the lot. Whatever, I was just glad I wasn't paying for a rental or taking the bus. I drive a small car with a tight suspension; this durango was absolutely cavernous and handled like a uhaul truck. Maybe I should have gone with the van. So after a week of walking in a soccer mom's shoes I think I'm in a better position to make this statement. SUVs suck. There is no reason for someone who drives on roads to haul around that much metal. I mean, yeah, it took speed bumps like a champion, but at what cost?

I didn't actually keep track of the mileage I got, but I have to assume it wasn't great. Here's the fuelly page for durangos, and while the 2007's may end up getting better mileage than previous years (there aren't any recorded fuel-ups for 07s) I'm gonna guess its not all that much better than an 18 average. Luckily I got to fill it up with that cheap crap fuel I haven't bought since 2007, so the 17 gallon half-tank was about on par with my usual full-tank price.

Whatever, I know, and you know, that SUVs get terrible gas mileage as a natural result of weighing a ton* more than my car. (*actually only 1829 pounds more.) What I really learned from this week was more about how an SUV drives. I actually got fairly comfortable maneuvering in close quarters. The turn radius was reasonable and the side mirrors were like full-length hallway mirrors. So when you see someone floundering in a parking lot, making 15-point turns or parking in two spaces, that person has either had their SUV fewer than three days or they are a terrible driver. No, the real concern to me was the transmission. I know its been a while since I drove an automatic, but I distinctly remember that when you let off the gas pedal the car begins to decelerate. This is not the case with the durango. At highway speeds removing my foot from the accelerator completely had virtually no effect for about a half mile. I'm not sure if this is a result of the engine's idle speed or the vehicle's mass, but I find it completely unacceptable.

In fact, in most cases, if I wanted to stop accelerating I had to tap the brake pedal. I'm not sure if I've ever decried over-use of brakes on the highway here, but I believe it to be the cause of numerous collisions and at best billions in wasted fuel and time. Although now I somewhat understand the phenomenon. These goram cars won't slow down without braking! Ridiculous. Now more than ever I think we should push to require tail-lights to be analog.

Anyway, I just figured I share my findings. There is a reason SUVs needlessly brake so much, although I'd rather we got rid of them than fix the problem.

Update
damn i love my car.