Friday, June 13, 2008

What's Your Return Policy?

So I was crouched on a rooftop peering through my sniper scope into the mark's apartment across the street.  He was just sitting there watching tv, but I couldn't get a shot.  I also couldn't quite make out the phone number on his handset to use as a lure.  (good thing I sprang for the expensive rifle, huh?)  So after guessing at the 7th number a few times and getting nothing but wrong numbers I decided to shoot an RPG through his window.  BOOM!  Haha, take that you son-of-a... wait, what?  He's still alive?  I just lit his little apartment on fire like a Christmas tree before electric lights.  He makes a dash for his car on the street below and I smoke him with my MP5.  Gotta keep your cool, even when things go wrong.  Don't go dashing down the stairs for a car chase or toppling over the ledge just because a GODDAMN rocket launcher failed to get the job done.  That may be the first time I've used "rocket launcher" and "failed" in the same sentence.  Honestly, when you drop 10 grand in a shady back-alley gun shop, you expect a little extra oomph.

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