Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Slapsgiving
Don't you wish sometimes that your blog would just post things automatically? I just checked the DP and oddly enough there was nothing new since the last time I posted. Creepy, I know. Hmmm... what happened.
Oh, right, I washed my car with that stuff. It worked pretty well too. Well at least the rags I was using got nice and filthy and my car was shiney for a few days. One downside I can think of immediately is that I get nice and close. So I see all the nicks scuffs and scratches I really wish weren't there. I'm sorry, car, for keeping you in the city. But you do look perdy, if its any consolation.
Oh, right, I washed my car with that stuff. It worked pretty well too. Well at least the rags I was using got nice and filthy and my car was shiney for a few days. One downside I can think of immediately is that I get nice and close. So I see all the nicks scuffs and scratches I really wish weren't there. I'm sorry, car, for keeping you in the city. But you do look perdy, if its any consolation.
Friday, November 16, 2007
That Magical Time Of Year.
Yes, I know, I get excited too. Its the time of year for new tax laws! Check out this one that gives low and moderate income workers extra incentive to contribute to retirement accounts. (gives real hope to the prospect of social security panning out, doesn't it? Its like the captain saying the lifeboats are in need of repair and handing out instructions for building your own boat.) So in addition to the future benefits of my roth IRA, I'd get a credit on my return now. Sweet, right? But apparently the IRS and I have differing opinions on what "moderate income" means. I mean, yeah, I know there's a lot of people who make less than me, but if you look at my area I'm right in that moderate to medium bracket. Shouldn't that count for something? Where's my damn tax credit? Living in the city is expensive.
Spam Tram Pulling Into... DELETED!
Hello,
I am a Civil Lawyer. I have a Client that has Interest in Investing in
Your Country, can You be of Assistance?
I shall give Details when You Reply.
Mr. David William Ess
Shit dude, you gotta line up behind everyone else who wants me to invest in America for them. Do you have any idea how good my country investing strategorgles are? They're like in the top sevrenth of the logospire. But seriously Dave. Or Will. Or Dill. You gotta find what's called a "stock exchange" and use a "broker". I know this all sounds very technical, but after that investing in America is as easy as buying stock in the military industrial complex. Or oil. Or waffles. Of course if you really want to get a return on your investment you should track down one of those Nigerian princes who needs help buying new suede luggage to smuggle unbelievably fat stacks of cash into your turnip cellar. Trust me, there's no possible way that could miss.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Waterless Whatnow?
I'm washing my new car more than my old one. Which isn't really giving you much information except to say I'm washing my new car more than never. Anyway, its something I do periodically and puts me into yet another consumer group. People who want clean cars.
But that also conflicts with the side of me that tries to limit waste. Lately I've been taking note of how much potable water we waste and trying to reduce my personal [over-] consumption. I turn off the water while I brush my teeth. I make sure my laundry loads are properly filled. I've stopped flushing the urinal at work unless it needs it. (Mens-roommates: yes that's me, please stop freaking out. It's gonna sit there for what, 65 seconds, before getting flushed by the next guy? Who are these dudes that flush before they go? Do you really need to pee into a pristine white bowl of clear drinkable water? Its rhetorical, don't answer.) Anyway, my newly acquired indulgence is obviously pretty high up on the waste-o-water list.
So when I read about this husband and wife in California who created an environmentally friendly waterless carwash I was intrigued. First off: waterless carwash? Apparently its not such an obscure thing; cleaning chemical companies have been making them for a while. They're just targeted at car collectors and such, using mostly dangerous chemicals to get the job done. Think of it as auto dry cleaning. So they figured out a way to get the same job done using more natural chemistry. (There's some tear jerking back story about how their daughter was chronically ill, and it turned out she was allergic to harsh cleaners. So the couple developed this hypoallergenic carwash. My solution would have been to stop bathing her in carwash soap.)
So I ordered it nearly immediately (hint to businesses: if you accept paypal I'll make impulsive purchases more often) and it came in the mail this week. It was shipped in biodegradable materials, although I imagine I'll have to recycle the bottle as it looks like normal plastic. $23 seems like a lot for a bottle of cleaner, but 7-10 car washes per bottle make it seem more reasonable. Especially when you consider the roughly 80 dollars I'd spend on 10 car washes with a less personal touch. ( I actually threw down 20 bucks at the car wash on Connecticut a couple weeks ago and though 20 towel handed soap jockeys caressed every crevasse, I was a little appalled at how quickly it was over. I mean, tease it out guys. Give me my money's worth) So I'm saving about 60 bucks, 300 gallons of water, and I get to spend some quality time outdoors with my car. Win-freakin-win-freakin-win. Fortuitously, its been raining lately, so I haven't had a chance to test it out yet. I'll let you know how it goes.
But that also conflicts with the side of me that tries to limit waste. Lately I've been taking note of how much potable water we waste and trying to reduce my personal [over-] consumption. I turn off the water while I brush my teeth. I make sure my laundry loads are properly filled. I've stopped flushing the urinal at work unless it needs it. (Mens-roommates: yes that's me, please stop freaking out. It's gonna sit there for what, 65 seconds, before getting flushed by the next guy? Who are these dudes that flush before they go? Do you really need to pee into a pristine white bowl of clear drinkable water? Its rhetorical, don't answer.) Anyway, my newly acquired indulgence is obviously pretty high up on the waste-o-water list.
So when I read about this husband and wife in California who created an environmentally friendly waterless carwash I was intrigued. First off: waterless carwash? Apparently its not such an obscure thing; cleaning chemical companies have been making them for a while. They're just targeted at car collectors and such, using mostly dangerous chemicals to get the job done. Think of it as auto dry cleaning. So they figured out a way to get the same job done using more natural chemistry. (There's some tear jerking back story about how their daughter was chronically ill, and it turned out she was allergic to harsh cleaners. So the couple developed this hypoallergenic carwash. My solution would have been to stop bathing her in carwash soap.)
So I ordered it nearly immediately (hint to businesses: if you accept paypal I'll make impulsive purchases more often) and it came in the mail this week. It was shipped in biodegradable materials, although I imagine I'll have to recycle the bottle as it looks like normal plastic. $23 seems like a lot for a bottle of cleaner, but 7-10 car washes per bottle make it seem more reasonable. Especially when you consider the roughly 80 dollars I'd spend on 10 car washes with a less personal touch. ( I actually threw down 20 bucks at the car wash on Connecticut a couple weeks ago and though 20 towel handed soap jockeys caressed every crevasse, I was a little appalled at how quickly it was over. I mean, tease it out guys. Give me my money's worth) So I'm saving about 60 bucks, 300 gallons of water, and I get to spend some quality time outdoors with my car. Win-freakin-win-freakin-win. Fortuitously, its been raining lately, so I haven't had a chance to test it out yet. I'll let you know how it goes.
I Need Help.
So I was flipping through catalogs as I used CatalogChoice to unsubscribe from everything that gets delivered to my house. (I'm now opted out of 14 catalogs under 7 current and previous residents) And I got to the "Container Store" catalog. Now, I've heard of this place before. I'm not gonna say why or embarrass anyone by mentioning names, but I have. Although I was never really clear what one bought there. I guess I imagined a warehouse filled with different color Rubermaid tubs. This is apparently not the case. So here's where I need help: How in the name of sweet jesus is this not called "the crap no one in the world could ever need store"? I flip through the pages and I see pile after pile at the landfill stocked by junk people bought for under 5 dollars, kept in a drawer for 6 years, never used and then pitched. I don't just not want to get this catalog, I wish this catalog... this store... I wish all this crap didn't even exist. Now, in their defense this is the "Something Neat For Every Stocking" edition of the catalog, which might not be as much a reflection of the store as the instant gratification, delayed garbage culture of Christmas. I dunno, I'm no socio-economist. If you can get your hands on a copy you'll see what I mean. COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. WASTE OF SPACE. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DON'T PAY YOU FOR TAKING THIS JUNK. Seriously, its like the Skymall catalog except delivered to my door and without a $700 wine cooling rack. But don't go poking around my house for a copy, this badboy is headed straight for the recycling bin.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Holy Crap.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Just So You Know.
I am NOT in Africa. I have not lost my wallet. I was not struck on the back of the head causing all my knowledge of the English language and hatred of CapsLock to fall out the front. You'd have to assume all of the preceding conditions were true to be taken in by the latest 419 scam from Nigeria. It involves stealing email accounts and begging friends for money.
When you think about it this scam is most dangerous to good friends of poorly spoken, careless, spontaneous travelers. "Hmmm Jim does suck at writing... And he does lose his stuff... And I haven't seen him in a couple days. I guess he could have gone to Africa. " I guess the other victims are the careless travelers themselves who can no longer count on poorly solicited wire transfer loans to bail them out of whatever hot water they're in this week. Also, If I ever ask you to keep something "CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US" I want you to tackle me and rip the mask off my face Scooby Doo style.
HELLO
HOW ARE YOU DOING? I WANT YOU TO KEEP THIS CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US, I KNOW THAT I CAN PUT MY TRUST IN YOU ON THIS. PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN. RIGHT NOW I AM IN AFRICA, NIGERIA. I CAME HERE ON A TRIP TO SEE A FRIEND AND WHEN I GOT HERE I LOST MY WALLET CONTAINING THE ADRESS OF MY FRIEND AND HIS CONTACT PHONE NUMBER, ALONG WITH MY ATM CARD AND OTHER VALUABLES.
SO RIGHT NOW I DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY MONEY ON ME . I AM STAYING IN A HOTEL NOW , AND THE MANAGER IS ALREADY RANTING OVER HIS MONEY AND AS TIME GOES BY THE BILLS ARE INCREASING.
I WOULD WANT YOU TO LOAN ME $2000. I PROMISE TO PAY YOU BACK AS SOON AS I GET BACK… I WOULD WANT YOU TO HELP SEND THE MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION . GET BACK AT ME ASAP.
HOPE TO READ FROM YOU…
When you think about it this scam is most dangerous to good friends of poorly spoken, careless, spontaneous travelers. "Hmmm Jim does suck at writing... And he does lose his stuff... And I haven't seen him in a couple days. I guess he could have gone to Africa. " I guess the other victims are the careless travelers themselves who can no longer count on poorly solicited wire transfer loans to bail them out of whatever hot water they're in this week. Also, If I ever ask you to keep something "CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US" I want you to tackle me and rip the mask off my face Scooby Doo style.
Check out this golf ball i used on sunda
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Talk About A Let Down.
Well, crap. Turns out they're not gonna ban cars in Beijing for the Olympics after all. No, I'm not worried about the athletes. I'm sure they'll all truck in bottles of oxygen to snort before and after their events. I was excited about the social experiment and logistics necessary to move so many people in an urban environment. Especially ones who were unfamiliar with the region. When I first heard of the plans to limit automobile traffic I thought it was one of the most ambitious and socially aware efforts I'd heard of. Imagine, using a world stage to point out that cars are not actually very efficient for moving masses of people and hammering home that they degrade the air quality immediately.
I was really rooting for them. But now I hope it blows up in their face and becomes one of the worst gridlock fiascos ever to grace the planet. Then maybe people will wonder what would have happened if everyone was riding trams, buses, or bicycles. Weak sauce China. Weak sauce.
I was really rooting for them. But now I hope it blows up in their face and becomes one of the worst gridlock fiascos ever to grace the planet. Then maybe people will wonder what would have happened if everyone was riding trams, buses, or bicycles. Weak sauce China. Weak sauce.
Skinny, Motorless, 1 Person Cars.
Its really hard to think abstractly while you're sitting in traffic about to burst a blood vessel in your forehead. But next time it happens remember, all these cars are not in your way, you are as much a part of the obstruction as anyone else out there. You selfish son-of-a... bean-sprout.
The Sietch has a great visualization of the space it takes to transport a set number of people by car, bus, and bike. I have to say, I'm surprised how little room a bus takes up compared to its passengers standing around.
The Sietch has a great visualization of the space it takes to transport a set number of people by car, bus, and bike. I have to say, I'm surprised how little room a bus takes up compared to its passengers standing around.
Lost Enough To Ask For Directions? Wimp.
Just chalk it up to male pride? That's such a fallacy. The reason men never ask for directions is because they never get lost; they merely discover new places and exciting shortcuts all while increasing their geographic understanding of an area. Back off.
While it might seem like a good idea to make gas pumps smarter, putting computers and Google maps systems in them is completely worthless. Don't get me wrong, I love Google maps. It is half the reasons I bought my phone. But why develop an incentive for gas stations to replace perfectly adequate equipment, especially when we really need to be getting rid of gas pumps altogether? How about you put an Internet mapping kiosk in the mini-mart instead? That way you're more likely to sell impulse items while cardinally impaired individuals wander in seeking help.
We should start thinking about what to do with gas stations now, while electric vehicles charging in everyone's homes are just a wisp on the imagination. Before they know it they'll be the RIAA trying to pedal goods in stores that consumers would rather get sent electronically whilst in their pajamas. You hear me service station owners? Start thinking of reasons for electric motorists to stop at your establishments or you'll start to feel the pinch sooner than you know.
Oh, and I get pissed off enough waiting for people to pump their gas, let alone waiting for bumble to figure out which way the waffle house is from here. I will not stop at a gas station with maps at the pump.
While it might seem like a good idea to make gas pumps smarter, putting computers and Google maps systems in them is completely worthless. Don't get me wrong, I love Google maps. It is half the reasons I bought my phone. But why develop an incentive for gas stations to replace perfectly adequate equipment, especially when we really need to be getting rid of gas pumps altogether? How about you put an Internet mapping kiosk in the mini-mart instead? That way you're more likely to sell impulse items while cardinally impaired individuals wander in seeking help.
We should start thinking about what to do with gas stations now, while electric vehicles charging in everyone's homes are just a wisp on the imagination. Before they know it they'll be the RIAA trying to pedal goods in stores that consumers would rather get sent electronically whilst in their pajamas. You hear me service station owners? Start thinking of reasons for electric motorists to stop at your establishments or you'll start to feel the pinch sooner than you know.
Oh, and I get pissed off enough waiting for people to pump their gas, let alone waiting for bumble to figure out which way the waffle house is from here. I will not stop at a gas station with maps at the pump.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Ride The Cheese.
Wait. Only 40% of primary school kids in Scotland get to school by car? And you don't have school buses? Are you guys using hover-scooters or something? Cause I'm pretty sure school buses account for about half of the mass transit in America. 100% in rural areas.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Key Neuter.
I'm sure you think terrible thoughts about your CapsLock key. You probably mutter vague threats and bad mouth it to all the other keys when its not looking. Sure, its easy enough to disable it or rip the key right off of the keyboard, but come on. We're not barbarians. And sometimes, just sometimes, you might actually want to turn on the CapsLock. Then where would you be? Well, fret not, cause I've got your back. The script below will half-neuter your CapsLock key so that if you hit it instead of the shift key you'll never know. And if for some reason you do want it on, just double tap to activate.
CapsLock ::
if A_PriorHotkey = CapsLock
{
if A_TimeSincePriorHotkey < 500
{
SetCapsLockState, on
return
}
}
SetCapsLockState, on
keywait, CapsLock
SetCapsLockState, OFF
return
Oh, and if you don't run AutoHotKey I spose I could whip up an .exe for you. Of course it seems wasteful to run that and only modify one key, so you really should just get AHK and modify your own script. Its super easy and makes you look like a keyboard ninja.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Start Your Robots.
DARPA's Urban Challenge is tomorrow. You know, think Grand Challenge but in a city with other cars driving around. I've been reading all week and getting psyched up about it, but I'm gonna be busy most of the day. So somebody else watch the live feed and tell me how it goes. Come on Junior!
Harry Harried Hen Harriers?
Yeah, if I was a prince I'd shoot endangered birds. What? Is that so wrong? Prince Harry and a friend have been questioned about two hen harriers that were found dead on the Queen's estate while they were hunting. I'm getting a distinct "its illegal to hunt in the King's wood" vibe here. To which I'd probably reply "Snog off, I'm the damn prince." If it comes down to it, the penalty is a £5,000 fine or six months in jail. I know which I'd pick were I a prince. But I'd make sure I got to eat that bird after I paid the fine, that's for sure.
I Tracka You Down.
Wikipedia is awesome but sometimes its hard to wrap your brain around just how many people are contributing to that global data cache. Sure, you know that people edit and reedit articles until they're more marginally correct than before. But how often and where are all these people? Enter WikipediaVision. Its a google maps mash up that plots the anonymous edits to Wikipedia on a world map in near realtime. It even has links to the article and a difference link so you can tell that someone from Central Canada thinks that Hawaii is the "main nation of the robot empire, it is useing giant weiner dogs to pee on there enemies. " Watching all those edits go down may crystallize what a massive group effort this project is. Of course it may instill you with massive doubt, seeing all the vandalism first hand. Either way, cool site about a cool site.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Like, Thanksgiving And Stuff?
Well shucks. It appears to be November and I still have post stubs going back all the way to September. Lets see what we can do about that; DP style.
<-- Maybe this is why I'm psyched to see wind turbines on the horizon. I think they're pretty. This little future-Civic looks pretty kickass. Slap a type R badge on the back and stick a diesel under the hood and its really something to get excited about. Honda is bringing the diesel; its gonna rock; just bide your time.
Nice little tip here: cotton balls soaked in petroleum, once lit, will burn through pretty much anything. I'm gonna start carrying cotton balls and steel wool in one pocket with Vaseline and 6 volt batteries in the other.
We're gonna need a term for faster than fast as balls. Remember the concord? Childs' play. Forget twice the speed of sound, when you're in a hurry you need mach 5. Maybe a little faster. That's what the EU is hoping to get out of the A2; fueled by hydrogen and liquid oxygen. Looks like we keep finding reasons to love hydrogen. Now if we could just figure out how to make an ass-load of it.
Yeah, you can find good stuff in the trash. Especially if you know a little something about art, apparently. Although I gotta believe if you're lookin for large cash settlements, your chances are a little better playing the lottery or jumping in front of limos.
Maybe its just cause my windows transfer more heat than a Central American arms merchant, but I'm totally in love with these windows. They have three, count em, three highly insulating panes. The center of which has a heat reflective surface like a one way valve. So in the summer you can keep heat out, but flip the frame during winter to keep heat in.
I know that anesthesiologists are generally very good and people normally don't wake up in the middle of surgery; but if I opened my eyes and saw a couple of surgeons standing over me with a bottle of hot sauce I would FREAK OUT. Straight-up crazy. Like they'd have to knock me unconscious with a shoe.
This one was gonna to be a joke about Cheney. I'm sure you can fill in the details.
I just couldn't resist the title of this one. Now that's good journalism. I'm not exactly sure how you make bio-fuel from lamb, but I'm sure quality is directly related to the fluffiness.
This is pretty cool. It's a memory card with wifi built right in. So whenever it can find the Internet it'll upload your newest pictures whereever you want. Those chumps who bought that kodak wifi camera are kickin themselves now. Too bad my cameras take CF. Where's the Sea-FI love?
Dangerous = Cool. Its just a fact of life. The more dangerous the activity, the cooler you look while doing it. For example: skydiving. Pretty cool looking. Now strap on a jetpack and some wings. Evel Knievel never dreamed of looking so good. Reminds me of the switchblade from Die Another Day, but with jet engines.
<-- Maybe this is why I'm psyched to see wind turbines on the horizon. I think they're pretty. This little future-Civic looks pretty kickass. Slap a type R badge on the back and stick a diesel under the hood and its really something to get excited about. Honda is bringing the diesel; its gonna rock; just bide your time.Nice little tip here: cotton balls soaked in petroleum, once lit, will burn through pretty much anything. I'm gonna start carrying cotton balls and steel wool in one pocket with Vaseline and 6 volt batteries in the other.
We're gonna need a term for faster than fast as balls. Remember the concord? Childs' play. Forget twice the speed of sound, when you're in a hurry you need mach 5. Maybe a little faster. That's what the EU is hoping to get out of the A2; fueled by hydrogen and liquid oxygen. Looks like we keep finding reasons to love hydrogen. Now if we could just figure out how to make an ass-load of it.
Yeah, you can find good stuff in the trash. Especially if you know a little something about art, apparently. Although I gotta believe if you're lookin for large cash settlements, your chances are a little better playing the lottery or jumping in front of limos.
Maybe its just cause my windows transfer more heat than a Central American arms merchant, but I'm totally in love with these windows. They have three, count em, three highly insulating panes. The center of which has a heat reflective surface like a one way valve. So in the summer you can keep heat out, but flip the frame during winter to keep heat in.I know that anesthesiologists are generally very good and people normally don't wake up in the middle of surgery; but if I opened my eyes and saw a couple of surgeons standing over me with a bottle of hot sauce I would FREAK OUT. Straight-up crazy. Like they'd have to knock me unconscious with a shoe.
This one was gonna to be a joke about Cheney. I'm sure you can fill in the details.
I just couldn't resist the title of this one. Now that's good journalism. I'm not exactly sure how you make bio-fuel from lamb, but I'm sure quality is directly related to the fluffiness.
This is pretty cool. It's a memory card with wifi built right in. So whenever it can find the Internet it'll upload your newest pictures whereever you want. Those chumps who bought that kodak wifi camera are kickin themselves now. Too bad my cameras take CF. Where's the Sea-FI love?
Dangerous = Cool. Its just a fact of life. The more dangerous the activity, the cooler you look while doing it. For example: skydiving. Pretty cool looking. Now strap on a jetpack and some wings. Evel Knievel never dreamed of looking so good. Reminds me of the switchblade from Die Another Day, but with jet engines.
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