Dear Winner. [good first paragraph, dork!]
It is obvious [is it?] that this notification will come to you as a surprise but,
We are happy to inform you that your email address
have emerged [like a phoenix from a contest it didn't enter.] winner of (EUR 1,000,000.00) [what the hell is a euro?] in Once Lottery Award. [I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and imagine that some wealthy heiress -Duchess Von Braun Once- established a random worldwide lottery.]
The online cyber draws [I'm glad you're not having real-world cyber draws, that's just dangerous.] was conducted from an exclusive list of 50-million [50 million seems less than exclusive, no?] email addresses of individuals and corporate bodies [is this as scary as it sounds? where do you store these bodies?] picked by an advanced automated random [how do you make advanced random? is it like double random?] computer selection from the web.
No tickets were sold. [I'm sorry, tell me again, why are you giving money away?]
Your email address is attached to Ref No: [jibberish redacted]
Batch No:[jibberish redacted]; Award/Ticket No: [number redacted]; and
PROMOTION DATE: 4th of August.2008.Bear in mind that prizes will strictly [adverbs go after the verb or before an adjective; there are exceptions. this isn't one.] be remitted to winners that
officially file in [is that like 'queuing up' in Spain?] for their claim within the given time frame. [...have you given it?]
To begin your claim, you are to forward this message to our accredited
claim agent [fancy!] including your full names and telephone numbers:CONTACT NAME: Mr. Simms Sanchez. [ha ha ha... ha. ha. Sanchez... that's a good one.]
TELL NUMBER: [12 digit number redacted]
EMAIL: [netscape.com email redacted]
CITY/COUNTRY: Madrid,Spain.Your prize award has been insured [what kinda benefits? dental?] with your email address and will be
transferred to you upon meeting the requirement of the gaming board
authority [i'm imagining Rich Uncle Pennybags, is that right?] which includes your statutory obligations. [like paying you fake taxes? can you just take it out of my fake million euros?]
Best Regards,
Dr. Connie Jose. [either go full bore and sign it Connie Connerson, or just stay away from "con", "scam" or "fleece" altogether.]
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