Bloggers' Dozen.

Its that time again, yes, time to clean out the inbox of all the week-old noteworthy/interesting/sophomoric things that I meant to blag about but didn't find the time. And just like your local bakery, we're charging half price for these week-olds. What's half of nothing again? Lemme get my calculator out...

Jump over to the Seitch and marvel at the mobile disaster unit they've got. Its a trailer that uses solar and wind collectors to treat contaminated water, provide 16Kw of emergency electricity and 30 miles of wireless connectivity. No mention of cost as the company is still lining up investors but this looks like a pretty sweet solution for the variable anarchy disasters cause by knocking out utilities.

• The Seitch: Portable Wind and Solar Utilities

France and Spain turned off their lights at 7:55 on February 1st this year as a message to leaders about global warming. The electric system in France saw an 800 MW dip while Spain saw a 1,000 change. Wow. From residential lighting. For reference a 2005 vintage Nuclear power plant will produce 600-1200 MW. Everyone go buy CFLs.

• Clean Break:The Lights Did Go Off

I would love to look out my window and see giant wind turbines slowly fueling the electric grid dotting the horizon. All those freaking NIMBY groups need to shut the feck up. Or maybe I should start a STFUAYBY group and we can go egg whiners' houses in our spare time. Anyway, the Seitch has a look at some beautiful and large renewable resource power plants that I would love to see more of. Sweet mother of pearl, that's a big turbine.

• The Seitch: Big Beatiful Renewable Energy

Beer. Tossing. Fridge. I know I don't need to say any more, but I will anyway. This recent MIT grad decided to put some of his robotics skills to actual use and converted his mini-fridge into a remote controlled beer whipping bar caddy. This is the kinda thing Rodney Dangerfield would have in his golf bag. Watch the video for more. Yes, CNN has video of this. Although, only a six-pack in the magazine? Please, that's not gonna get any work done.

• CNN: Man Relives College

Wish you had to chew energy drinks more? Like that whole spitting culture, but don't want mouth cancer? Tired of worshiping at the alter of the office coffee maker? Well, have we got an update for you. SumSeeds are sunflower seeds coated in all the goodness you'll find in redbull or amp or juced or whatever the newest disgusting drink you dirtballs are drinking now instead of actually going to bed. Its amazing that the human race of antiquity got anything done without being fueled by guarana and taurine.

• Strange New Products: Caffeinated Sunflower Seeds

Amazon and TiVo sitting in a tree... D-O-W-N-L-O-A-D-I-N-G. Alright maybe that breaks the meter, but they're certainly hooking up. For some people. I tried to link my Amazon account and my TiVo account and got a generic error. The help support gave me the canned response of basically "Did you try what you already tried?" which they would have realized if they'd actually read my email. Super support guys, that's the way to start a new service. Not that I'm actually gonna pay to rent or buy movies on Amazon Unboxed but it would be nice to try it out.

• Zatz Not Funny: Amazon Unboxed on TiVo is Live

Well, someone has to do it and the SKers think they've got enough of a jump on the rest of us that is might as well be them. They expect to have a robot in every home by 2020 and are working to develop rules for robot human interaction. Some people expect the rules to closely model Isaac Asimov's 3 rules, while others want their robots to be able to pistol whip or kill if needed. Didn't you guys actually read any of Isaac's books? They're mostly about how the three laws are not impervious to complicated logic and will be circumvented as AI progresses. Hell, they even dipped into it in the Will Smith movie, so you really don't have an excuse.

• The Register: South Korea to Detail Robot Etiquette

Speaking of robots pistol whipping and killing (those are decision making tasks at heart, which is the only reason your PC isn't pistol whipping you right now), scientists are working on machines that will make medical decisions that closely approximate a patient's wishes. Its to be used in cases where someone hasn't created an advanced directive and is unable to make decisions themselves. Studies have resulted in surrogate decision makers only getting the call right 68% of the time, so these machines don't really have a very high bar to get over. Researchers hope to eventually hit a target of 90% accuracy. Of course there'll be quite the debate over letting machines assume this responsibility before the first machine gets to pull the plug.

• New Scientist: Can Computers make Life or Death medical Decisions?

No, not the Queen or Prince Philip, royalties. The small dividend that is paid for a commercial use of someone's copyrighted work. The Copyright Royalties Board is looking to double the amount paid per track by Internet radio stations. Now, its beyond me why there's a central committee in charge of pricing this stuff or why they're trying to jack the actual legitimate services out of business, but this seems like an odd move. Its just going to drive traffic to sites that don't pay any royalties and haven't been caught yet. We had a nice equilibrium of payment and service going but somehow consumers getting product, companies getting paid, and artists getting publicity just wasn't hacking it.

• BBC: Royalties Threaten Internet Radio

Microsoft has been going off on piracy lately with their WGA near spyware and government sponsored witch hunts in Russia. But at the end of the day, they really hope that you pirate their software and not their competitors. Its almost as if they realize that scarcity economics don't really apply to their industry. If someone isn't going to buy the software you haven't lost money. But if they get to like your product then they're more likely to get a new version which means increased sales over driving them to a freeware or open source competitor. Sound reasoning, how will you put it into action?

• TechDirt: Microsoft Exec Admits That Company Benefits From Piracy

Wow, I'd have thought Blues Traveler was a really chill guy. But checkout the plethora of assault rifles he had in his trunk "in case of a natural disaster." I don't know if I can listen to his songs anymore without wondering if he's got a machine gun guitar like el Mariachi.

• Jalopnik: Popper popped for 111mph

Work-From-Home Soldiering

OK, so this video has to be fake. Otherwise why do we have any people over there at all? The adaptiveness and anthropomorphism of this robot are definitely past the uncanny valley where human beings reject robots because they act too human-like. Something about robots carrying Ak-47's just rubs me the wrong way. I mean they should have built-in weapons systems, so that there's a chance something might misfire. Ak's are money every whichway you test them. Watch how it moves; recoiling from nearby bullet hits. There's no way a real robot reacts that way yet; right? Otherwise, watch out Boston and the overactive graffiti crowd that like to patronize your provocatively vacant walls...

• Robot sentry: google video

Robot Valets Before Robot Butlers?

Check out this swank parking garage in New York.  Its clean and well lit and for robots only.  Cause lets face it, you let people into a parking garage and they're just going to gunk it up with chewing gum and urine.  Basically you let this robotic car jukebox park you car for you instead of screeching around corners looking for a spot before that soccer mom can get to it.  The space in this particular case went from a 24 spot mini lot to a 67 car sardine can that would make an aircraft carrier jealous.  (if you've never been on an aircraft carrier, trust me, its a tight fit.)  But its the all mechanical attendants that keep people from wasting space by parking with enough room to actually get out the door.

The only humans on hand will be collecting cash, because you just can't trust those robot bastards with money.

Heh, robot bastards always shorting the till.  This sounds pretty good (aside from the reports of dropped and stuck cars) as a second option if I can't have my George Jetson car that folds into a briefcase.

• Jalopnik: Take It Down To Chinatown

The Urban Rumble Prize Is On.

Whew. That was a close one. The grand challenge almost went off without prize money. Luckily the legislators came to their senses and decided it was ok. (due, no doubt, in large part to my thoughts on the subject) 1st prize is 2 million, with 1 mil to second place and half a mil for third. I'm still not gonna enter thought. The competition looks rough.

• Feds pony up $3.5m for robot race | The Register

Beggin' Strips: Robots Don't Know Its Not Bacon.

I'm not really sure if this is another sign of the impending robot revolution and dominance over the inferior human race. It is pretty amusing though. There's a new Japanese robot that is supposed to smell wines and help identify various things about wine that I'll never learn. Anyway, a reporter put his hand in the robot and was identified as bacon. Someone else tried and was identified as prosciutto. Freaking bigot robot cannibals; when will they learn that people is people?

Yeah, yeah, they're not technically cannibals, they're 'industrial accidents.' But tell me that when your right hand is being chowed upon by an Adrian Barbeau-bot with the strenght of five gorillas.

Anyway, I think we should start making Beggin' strips for robots so we can keep them in a subservient role like we've done for dogs. Trust me that's the only thing keeping your dog from eating your face in the night. Beggin' strips. And the promise of more Beggin' strips to come.

• Table of Malcontents: robot thinks human flesh is bacon
  

Step 4C: Insert Positronic Brain.

I've been thinking about toys recently, and I've concluded that adult toys are better than kids' toys. Well, they can be; for adults. And I had a conversation with someone about this and didn't realize that 'adult toys' usually means something else until the other person said it for the first time. So let me just say, no, not that kind of adult toys.

But there are a few problems with grown-up toys. First is where to learn about all these cool things. You have to scour every model shop, dork convention, and the entirety of the Internet to know that robotic bartenders, pogo stick hydrofoils, fuel cell car models, and remote controlled jets even exist. There is no "Adult Toys 'R' Us" (not that kind of toy) where you can stroll down the isle and see representatives for every conceivable group. It takes hard work just to figure out what you want.

Once you have something in mind, the problem of where to get one still remains. I know from first hand experience the pang of buyer's remorse, as the real McCoy didn't quite match up with my lofty expectations. Its very difficult to judge quality or feasibility of things without being able to lay your hands on one. Like I said, there's no "Adult Toys 'R' Us" where you can go try it before you buy it.

And of course there is the largest obstacle to adult toys, their price. I've had my Carrera priced out for years now and I'm nowhere close to imagining that I could afford it. So you kinda have to keep a lid of your dreams; shoot for the slightly inconceivable and you just might get there. It also helps not to lust after the brand name.

We have to start de-conditioning ourselves. As a good little American I was taught from a young age that store bought goodness one-uped any homemade contraption. While some of the time I did rig my own toys and imagine them up to spec, I still believed that a packaged toy was better. This is not so with adult toys. It takes some work to get over the hurdle and put faith in yourself that given the right tools and materials, maybe even the right kit, you can one-up the store and their piddly wares. Just look at websites like make and hack-a-day and you'll see people making cool stuff every day. Shrug off that iPod and RAZR ad campaign. Make your own adult toys and be proud of yourself for once.

So now I'll leave you with an excerpt from a wired article about making a robot from a prefabricated kit. Its an entertaining and quick read. I'd recommend it to anyone who has dissuaded themselves from building something they wanted.

There's an odd, Asimovian irony to having to put together your own robot; it seems like the sort of thing you'd want a robot to do for you.
...
The next chapter tells me that the bags of parts are clearly labeled, and I should under no circumstances open a bag before I'm told. The first set of parts I need is in bag B. I look around for bag B, and it turns out it's sealed inside bag E, which I haven't been told to open yet. This is why a robot can't assemble a robot.

• Wired News: A Robot That Walks Like a Gorilla