Reminds Me Of My Technic Sets...

You know... those big-boy LEGOs with gears and engines and tiny parts that were really hard to assemble.  But for all their simulated workings, they still couldn't figure out how to put a roof on the sports car.

The Army is going hybrid for stealth with this aggressively designed Humvee replacement.  Its to be used in situations where troops need to travel at 80 mph without putting off a lot of heat.  I'm all for using less fuel over there, but damn, that thing is ugly.  But aesthetics aren't the metric, what we really need to know is: how well does it hold up in sand?

• The Aggressor: A Hybrid for Iraq - Jalopnik

He Funds Me, He Funds Me Not.

Throwing money in the toilet.  Not that I'm saying the Middle East is a watered down cesspool.  I hear its very dry there.  I'm all about not just signing checks over to George, and requiring no accountability at all to ensure that paying this bill won't just require us to keep paying and paying.  Which, as far as I can see, is how this is going to go down.

So by all means, lets make federal funding benchmark dependent.  Hell, lets run it like the old no child left behind program, where if a war doesn't pass basic democracy progress tests, it gets funding yanked and left out in the cold.  Then parents of soldiers could choose to send their children to a different war that they think is better.  Hmmm, maybe that legitimizes a terrible idea, no not war, the no child left behind act.

Honestly, lets run the country like a company.  We're bleeding money, sorry, more like hemorrhaging, because of terrible decisions of the CEO.  Don't you think that after eight years of mismanagement the stockholders might want the board to can that chump?  I don't care if we are in the middle of a product release, or a federal investigation, someone who makes decisions based on gut feelings that prove wrong time and time again (even if he is the decider, or the commander guy) has got to go.  He doesn't own the company, we just hired him to manage it for a while.  And He's doing a terrible job.

• BBC NEWS | Americas | US House passes Iraq funding bill

Work-From-Home Soldiering

OK, so this video has to be fake. Otherwise why do we have any people over there at all? The adaptiveness and anthropomorphism of this robot are definitely past the uncanny valley where human beings reject robots because they act too human-like. Something about robots carrying Ak-47's just rubs me the wrong way. I mean they should have built-in weapons systems, so that there's a chance something might misfire. Ak's are money every whichway you test them. Watch how it moves; recoiling from nearby bullet hits. There's no way a real robot reacts that way yet; right? Otherwise, watch out Boston and the overactive graffiti crowd that like to patronize your provocatively vacant walls...

• Robot sentry: google video

$20,000,000 Skivies.

I can't tell you what a cramp changing underwear every day puts in my style. Luckily I live in the greatest country in the world and they've got my back. Sure, we get criticized for spending more money on defense than anything else in the history of mankind, but just look at the results. I mean you don't see the French military coming up with a pair of underwear that you can wear for weeks at a time. And no, that wasn't a crack about how you'd have thought the French would be the ones looking into dirty underwear technology.

Yes, the pentagon spent 20 million dollars to devise a superskivy for its troops that sometimes can't be bothered to swap out a new pair every 72 hours. The mainstay is a special water resistant bacteria retardant coating that"both kills bacteria, and forces liquids to bead and run off." I'd like you to really focus in on that statement. Forces liquids to bead and run off. Got that mental image? Nice.

• LiveScience.com - Self-Cleaning Underwear Goes Weeks Without Washing

We Love Animals

Critters can be useful or interesting or tasty.

First the spy sharks funded by DARPA (is there anything they can't do?) are just about ready. Professor Atema can control their direction through various stimulations. Now all we need to do is finish that 100kw laser and make it waterproof.

• Defense Tech: Video: Shark Spies Steered by "Squid Juice"

Second: Super Lions. Sounds great. Lets put lasers on their heads. These lions were stranded on an island with nothing to eat but buffalo. Now, I I'm not sure if you've seen a buffalo, or if you know what lions normally eat. But this is crazy. Rather than starving to death the lions have gotten bigger and stronger so they can take down bigger prey. They're apparently smarter too, tracking and predicting which water source the herd will travel to next.

• The superlions marooned on an island | the Daily Mail

Third, all you guys gotta eat less beef. Those cows are farting too much and its bad for the earth. I would stop too, but I just remembered I don't wanna.

• Treehugger: Cows and Climate Change

And lastly, how'd you like your holiday bonus in camel meat? How about fresh camel meat? The workers of Turkish Airlines did such a good job that they got to sacrifice a camel at work. Uh, ok. I'd rather have a check.

• Scotsman.com News - Latest News - Turkish Airlines workers sacrifice camel at airport

Relax It Just FEELS Like Your Skin Is Burning Off.

There have been a bunch of stories about the Air Force's new pain ray. Is it ethical? Is it safe? You know all those wimpy questions. Only Defense Tech has the balls to ask "Is it entertaining?" They've come up with the next great idea for American Reality TV. An obstacle course to complete and attention hungry stars running it while under the happy gaze of Mr microwave. And I also like the popular vote draft method they suggest. Although I have to say, after all the talk about this pain ray, I'm a little disappointed. Its just a big microwave without the oven. I thought we were talking about a way to stimulate just the pain receptors without actually causing damage (no matter how insignificant).

• Defense Tech: Drunks, Butts Test Pain Ray; Paris Hilton Next?

In The Future We'll Fly Naked.

Its rough being on the bleeding edge. Especially when you enjoy buying and using electronic devices because they are unknown only to have people searching your person for unknown electronic devices. Imagine the hubub that arose when someone tried to board a plane with the new (and stupid) Nike+iPod implant in their shoe. Remember that some dude had shoes made of bomb, and now you have to run footwear thought the x-ray scanner. I find it funny only cause I don't ever think I'll be persuaded to get this thing. But it got me thinking. We're only going to have more and more wearable or implanted technology in the future. And if things keep progressing, we'll have more and more invasive searches in once public areas. How in the world are these two going to reconcile? Will TSA employees actually be versed in technology or weaponry? Or will they just keep raising alarms when they run across something they've never seen before? Honestly, my outlook is so bleak that I prefer not to even think about it.

• PSA: The TSA is not down with Nike+iPod - Engadget

Coming Soon To Your City: Martial Law.

I'm sure its like a carnival, only with more guns and less carnies. The article below details several steps and laws that have essentially given the president power to conscript state national guards, send them to non-local domestic areas and institute martial law. The second part allows for torture and detention over seas. They use provisions set forth under the Regan Administration "in the event of a crisis such as violent and widespread internal dissent or national opposition against a U.S. military invasion abroad." This was passed as a small rider to the 'defense authorization bill conference report' that raised little debate because it its timing. Senator Patrick Leahy is the only person asking questions about why these provisions are necessary. I'm sure there's more to this than I understand right now, but it sounds not good. Just keep you ears open.

• Slashdot | Bush Signs Bill Enabling Martial Law

original article: Toward Freedom - Bush Moves Toward Martial Law

Desert Pete.

Yeah, I'm back from my reprieve. And no, the airport security wasn't terribly out of control. Course I was there an ass-crack and a half early, so it may have turned into pandelerium after I was through. I would however just like to comment on how ridiculous this ban on fluids is. It is ridiculous. Very. You can't take any liquids through security (except for some). But you can buy them or use the water fountains in the terminal. But you can't take any on the plane. Unless the boarding agents don't see them. Yeah, this is a super policy that is increasing the safety of flights. Lookit, airport security is just about the illusion of security anyway, lets not delude ourselves. I was delighted when I got home to see a Daily Show on this very topic, which was exactly what I needed to turn my fuming into chuckling. Thank you Daily Show, you're probably the reason I haven't died from stroke or highblood pressure yet. And for a bonus clip, check out Colbert and Stewart sticking it to Geraldo and o'Reilly. That's good squishy. Now if you'll excuse my I'm going back to my Kingston Trio album.