Showing posts with label legal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label legal. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Sober Thoughts.

Now usually I'm all for exclusivity. When I was 16 and there was talk of raising the driving age to 18 (I imagine this is an urban legend that circulates constantly through the 15 and a half year-old demographic) I answered with a swager that I had no qualms, since I was already rocking my Cinderella permit. So maybe its a sign of my maturity that when folks talk about lowering the drinking age I think it makes a lot of sense.

Now, I know, for a while there will be teens going wild if they're allowed to buy beer a couple years earlier. But that's only a backlash to the culture of ageist prohibition that we've created. That forbidden fruit would suddenly be readily available, and it'll be bad for a while. I dunno maybe you just 'reverse grandfather' it in to reduce the binge backlash. But ultimately reducing or eliminating the drinking age would create reasonable, accustomed young adults, able to make responsible decisions.

I didn't drink until I was 21, but I'm a very good boy. Quite a few teens are sneaking around pinching a nip where they can anyway; it seems like a very defiant and adult thing to do. And there's nothing wrong with that except that their parents can't keep an eye on their behavior. Just like with video games, Interneting and sugar, young adults need to learn to balance their lives and avoid excess. Our current system throws them into the deep end when they leave home at 18, still 'illegal' but now away from their parents' watchful eye. This is especially salient on a college campus where half the population is of tenure, contrasted with the underage but independent underclassmen.

Much of the opposition I've noticed is from anti-drunk-driving organizations, which doesn't exactly make sense to me. Drunk driving is not okay, no matter the offender's age. There are generally statistics bandied about citing a reduction in fatalities corresponding with 21 drinking legislation. But if that correlation was valid, shouldn't these organizations be pushing to raise the drinking age to 50? Surely that would have marked effects on traffic fatalities. But they're not, probably because restricting the rights of legal adults in this matter is unreasonable and unjustifiable. The article below points out that federally raising the drinking age did not effect automobile fatalities; safer cars, education and medical technologies are all responsible. It argues very poignantly against confusing drinking legislation with driving legislation. These are not alcohol fatalities, they are automobile fatalities.

And in fact, just last week I saw an ad on the metro that showed a graph of highway fatalities and alcohol related fatalities over time. (I didn't have time to snap a picture so if anyone sees it I'd appreciate a shot) Basically it showed alcohol related fatalities dropping at a 45 degree angle and 'sober' fatalities rising at the opposite rate. The caption's jist was "do you know where your greatest threat lies?” leading the viewer to surmise that aggressive drivers are much more prevalent and dangerous than drunk drivers. Which I find completely believable in the DC area; drunk drivers slowly weaving down the highway would get run off the road by the impatient and angry.

This is an issue of trust. We don’t trust young adults to make good decisions and we don’t trust their parents to raise responsible young adults. And since we expect children to sneak around, violating the law with dangerous practices, that’s what they do; either out of rebellion or convenience or pressure. It is a parent’s responsibility to raise their offspring and equip them to be viable adults; and it should be their choice how and when to educate them on the dangers and pleasures of alcohol. If anything we need to do more to create responsible parents rather than legislating away their innate responsibility by treating the second hand symptoms.

Friday, August 17, 2007

The NEW "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy.

"Don't ask us about the secret (probably illegal) programs spreading all around you and we won't tell you.

Sounds like a super foundation to build a global oligarchy on, doesn't it? The mere fact that the US government refuses to acknowledge whether certain secret (probably illegal) programs exist makes me suspect that they are illegal. This slate article details the trials and tribulations of plaintiffs and judges who feel as if the world has gone crazy -- while trying to flesh out the details of "secret" (probably illegal) government programs that everyone knows exist.

Q: "[How can it be] "a state secret" that that the government is not intercepting millions of customers' communications illegally. How can the absence of an illegal program be a secret?"
A: "If the government had to prove that something that doesn't happen, doesn't happen, it would have to divulge everything that does happen."

Huh? That's a bit of flawed logic, I'm afraid. I know defendants don't usually have to prove innocence, the burden typically lies upon the plaintiff. But its rough going when the defendant keeps confiscating and destroying all the evidence. Its an odd legal climate where the government doesn't just falsely deny something, they tell us that they can't tell us, and that its for our own good. We should start asking questions about the secret (and probably illegal) program to paint all ducks purple with q-tips and see if they have the same "national security secret" response.

"I'm sorry, but the NSA can neither confirm, nor deny, the existence of a secret federal program to paint ducks purple with q-tips.


Thursday, August 16, 2007

Put A Sack Of Bricks In The Trunk.

I've often thought that we need different classes of license for driving. Like some people would be relegated to driving only between 3-6 in the morning every other Thursday, while others would be restricted to special low speed tunnels constructed under every city. I know, lofty goals, but you gotta have dreams. Well the UK is thinking of instituting another type of licensing policy. This would require more training as a car's weight to power ratio drops. I think mostly they're getting tired of people crashing up Veyrons; something no one likes to see. Extra lessons would include how to properly set up for turns and handle the frothy power-crazed beasts they've laid out for.

Of course your ratio changes based on the weight of the car, so you might be in an odd situation where you're licensed to drive 4 of your fattest friends around, but not to drive yourself to the store. Heck, that sounds like some great carpool legislation right there. See that? I'm so full of good ideas, they just fall out of my brain.


Sample Weight to Power Ratios:
  1. Formula One Racer - 1333 lbs (with balast and driver) / 750hp (mandated smaller V8 engines) = 1.78 lb/hp
  2. Bugatti Veyron - 4162 lbs / 1001 hp = 4.16 lb/hp
  3. Porsche Carrera GT - 3043 lbs / 612 hp = 4.97 lb/hp
  4. Corvette Z06 - 3132 lbs / 505 hp = 6.2 lb/hp
  5. Dodge Viper - 3380 lbs / 535 hp = 6.32 lb/hp
  6. Lotus Exige GT3 - 2050lbs / 271 hp = 7.56 lb/hp
  7. 2007 BMW M3 - 3386 lbs / 420 hp = 8.06 lb/hp
  8. Audi RS 4 - 3634 lbs / 414 hp = 8.78 lb/hp
  9. Boxster S - 2987 lbs / 295 hp = 10.1 lb/hp
  10. WRX Sti - 3351 lbs / 293 hp= 11.44 lb/hp
  11. Honda S2000 - 2835 lbs / 240 hp = 11.81 lb/hp
  12. BMW Mini Cooper S GP - 2579 lbs / 214 hp = 12.05 lb/hp
  13. Mitsu Evo IX - 3086 lbs / 255 hp = 12.10 lb/hp
  14. Mazda RX-8 - 3029 lbs / 237 hp = 12.78 lb/hp
  15. Acura RSX Type S - 2775 lbs / 210 hp = 13.21 lb/hp
  16. VW R32 - 3256 lbs / 241 hp = 13.51 lb/hp
  17. 2006 BMW 330ci - 3450 lbs / 255 hp = 13.53 lb/hp
  18. Celica GTS - 2500 lbs / 180 hp = 13.89 lb/hp
  19. Lotus Elise S - 1896 lbs / 134 hp = 14.15 lb/hp
  20. Miata MX-5 - 2414 lbs / 170 hp = 14.20 lb/hp
  21. Acura TSX - 3318 lbs / 200 hp = 16.59 lb/hp
  22. VW Jetta TDI - 3197 lbs / 90 hp = 35.52 lb/hp

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Throw Your Laser Pointer In The Trash Right Now.

That laser pointer you got cause it was just harmless fun, or cool consumer technology, or a useful pointing device just got a lot more dangerous.  No, not as an actual threat to safety or anyone's wellbeing, its just not worth the risk of one day having to defend yourself in court.  The House wants laser shiners to spend 5 years in jail if they hit a plane with the beam.  Just another example of a social phenomenon, granted a mildly unacceptable one, being trumped up in the name of anti-terrorism.  We refuse to live in fear of random and senseless acts of violence; so we'll just enact laws to make every conceivable threat a terrorist act.  That way no one will act out because everyone is afraid of getting thrown into Guantanamo by our own government.  That's the ticket.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

But My Creepy and Unsafe Pet Monkey Was Different.

Sorry lady, all my monkey sympathy got used up when Ross had to give Marcelle away to a zoo.  (I still think that's code for 'taken out back and shot cause he had rabies')  Go ahead and give the article a read.  I think this is the best thing to happen to the lady; devoting that much of your life to a pet wearing OshKosh B'Gosh isn't healthy, I don't care where you live.  As, for little Armani, well he'd probably be better off in a jungle or something.  But don't worry; all monkeys go to heaven, right?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

"I had a feeling a law was being broken, but I didn't know exactly what,"

Oh, yeah.  That's how I like my law enforcement; hunch based.  Another guy got busted for using a free Internet connection at a cafe from his car.  Neither the "criminal" , the store owner, nor the police officer knew surfing the Internet from your car was illegal, but luckily this guy got caught and fined.  I mean, what would this country come to if people were just allowed to take advantage of completely free services.  Never mind that there's nothing denoting which networks are for public use, and which are not.  You know, like security or a detailed SSID.  Laws like these reek of legislation without information.  Someone suggested we do something about people breaking into networks, but didn't really think about cases where open networks are confused for public access points.  Its like throwing people in jail for walking into an occupied bathroom stall, even if the occupant made no effort to keep you out.  Like locking the door a subtle throat clear as you approach.

Moral of the story: if you're scamming off my unsecured WiFi network, watch the fuck out; I'm callin the cops when I catch you.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Can It Cant?

The America's cup is approaching as the Challengers fight it out.  Which might make you think that everyone's pretty much got their designs set in carbon-fibre, if not in stone.  (That cliche is a bit too heavy for this sport.  Stone boat: slow.)

Well the AC Measurement Committee released a decision earlier in May in response to several clarification requests posed by an unknown team.  They're mostly about ACC rule 17 which restricts movement and distortion of submerged appendages.

Mostly what this means is that a team thinks they've got a way to get a little more righting moment through a tack by canting the keel to leeward (diagrams) prior to the tack gaining power and acceleration from the righting moment through and post tack and then returning the keel back to centerline.

I feel like they're trying to figure out how to roll-tack a 70 foot boat with a 20 ton bulb ballast.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Gimme Your Wallet And Your Thong.

Yes, crime is a scourge and it would be terrifying to be mugged by a South American gang while waiting for a bus. But I'm willing to bet that you crack a smile when I say that authorities in Colombia are hunting for the "Knicker Robbers." They normally don't hurt their victims, but demand valuables and yes - underwear - at early morning bus stops. This sounds like a group of young men who have their priorities in line.

I can just imagine the group sitting around whatever shit-hole hideout they could find brainstorming 'hooks' they could use to help identify their gang. One member pipes up "We could steal their underwear" just as a joke cause they're running out of steam. They all chuckle for a little and it dies down. Someone else quietly says "I like underwear" Another, gazing off into the distance, barely audible "yeah..." And so the Underwear Bandits are born.

How Do We Get Out Of This One?

Verizon has come up with a brilliant excuse for leaking call records and other private information to the federal government's illegal wiretapping program.  Brace yourself.  Its was "Free Speech".  Wow, I know just takes your breath away, doesn't it?  Who would be so callous as to attack one of the most hallowed and unifying principles of our nation?

So the Electronic Communications Privacy Act is Unconstitutional and Verizon is a wonderful company that fights for the American way of life that 'the man' is always trying to stifle.  And if you believe that I've got a bridge to sell you.  Anyone?  No takers?

This is particularly ridiculous because their first defense of "just following orders" got shot down by a judge.  Sure, it wasn't a good excuse, but it makes the subsequent claim of "oh, it was completely our volition and we were just expressing ourselves" sound particularly weak.

I know, it looks like we're close to nailing some bass-holes to the wall, but the Brush administration is working on pushing through a chunk of legislation that would grant immunity to the poor, picked-upon telcos.  Seems kinda shady; Verizon did a favor and gets a little in return.

Don't Buy Anything.

Here's the set-up: Guy goes to China, buys a bunch of terrible fake watches as souvenirs for family.  Customs confiscates them and later contacts him with a $55,300 fine based on the street value of real Rolexes.

Sounds rough, right?  Especially when you realize that these are terrible, terrible watches that no one would possibly mistake for a Rolex, and the fine is being levied because they "infringe" on the Rolex Trademark.  Secondly, why is the US government assessing this fine at the border, rather than letting Rolex take up the cause if they deem it worthwhile?  And third, why the hell is a consumer being fined for trademark infringement?  Shouldn't it be the manufacturer of vendor that pays the price.  Trademarks are meant to protect consumers from being tricked into believing an imitation product is authentic, not to confer ownership of the mark.  This guy wasn't selling the watches, so there is no consumer to "protect" except maybe the victim of this ridiculousness.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Why Don't You Just Tax My Ears?

This is so silly I don't know if I can explain it.

So there's a big hike in the works for Internet radio royalties.  Almost a 3x hike, that will surely drive a lot of stations off the air.  Some have proposed a solution of just not playing any RIAA music and settling the royalty fees with independent labels at a reasonable rate.  Seems reasonable, two parties doing business, providing services and products in exchange for payment.  Unfortunately it won't work because the RIAA created royalties collection agency, SoundExchange, somehow swindled a compulsory license out of the Copyright Office over all recorded music.  That means that they are entitled to collect royalties on all music played on Internet radio and the artists or labels they "represent" can pay to join the association to collect their cut.  What this means is that an entity that does not own the rights to property is collecting fees for performances, even if the owner doesn't want to, and then takes a cut before passing it on to its owner.  What if the artist never comes looking for their royalties?  Well, SoundExchange is entitled to all unclaimed fees.  Wow.  How the hell did this happen?  We're going to have to change the expression to "Death, Taxes and the RIAA"

The RIAA tells people that simply listening to music without paying for it is a terrible crime that people should be punished for. Yet... the RIAA getting money for non-RIAA music and not paying the deserving artists that money is perfectly legal? Damn, the RIAA lobbyists are good.

Lawmakers: We don't need music middle men any more.  Distribution, marketing and compensation aren't insurmountable hurdles to the everyman.  In fact it is becoming more and more evident that the RIAA exists only because of the laws channeling money into it, which it uses to lobby for laws that will force more income.  This is good for the RIAA, but not for the Musicians and Consumers; the hosts to the RIAA parasite.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Bloggers' Dozen.

Its that time again, yes, time to clean out the inbox of all the week-old noteworthy/interesting/sophomoric things that I meant to blag about but didn't find the time. And just like your local bakery, we're charging half price for these week-olds. What's half of nothing again? Lemme get my calculator out...

Jump over to the Seitch and marvel at the mobile disaster unit they've got. Its a trailer that uses solar and wind collectors to treat contaminated water, provide 16Kw of emergency electricity and 30 miles of wireless connectivity. No mention of cost as the company is still lining up investors but this looks like a pretty sweet solution for the variable anarchy disasters cause by knocking out utilities.
France and Spain turned off their lights at 7:55 on February 1st this year as a message to leaders about global warming. The electric system in France saw an 800 MW dip while Spain saw a 1,000 change. Wow. From residential lighting. For reference a 2005 vintage Nuclear power plant will produce 600-1200 MW. Everyone go buy CFLs.
I would love to look out my window and see giant wind turbines slowly fueling the electric grid dotting the horizon. All those freaking NIMBY groups need to shut the feck up. Or maybe I should start a STFUAYBY group and we can go egg whiners' houses in our spare time. Anyway, the Seitch has a look at some beautiful and large renewable resource power plants that I would love to see more of. Sweet mother of pearl, that's a big turbine.
Beer. Tossing. Fridge. I know I don't need to say any more, but I will anyway. This recent MIT grad decided to put some of his robotics skills to actual use and converted his mini-fridge into a remote controlled beer whipping bar caddy. This is the kinda thing Rodney Dangerfield would have in his golf bag. Watch the video for more. Yes, CNN has video of this. Although, only a six-pack in the magazine? Please, that's not gonna get any work done.
Wish you had to chew energy drinks more? Like that whole spitting culture, but don't want mouth cancer? Tired of worshiping at the alter of the office coffee maker? Well, have we got an update for you. SumSeeds are sunflower seeds coated in all the goodness you'll find in redbull or amp or juced or whatever the newest disgusting drink you dirtballs are drinking now instead of actually going to bed. Its amazing that the human race of antiquity got anything done without being fueled by guarana and taurine.
Amazon and TiVo sitting in a tree... D-O-W-N-L-O-A-D-I-N-G. Alright maybe that breaks the meter, but they're certainly hooking up. For some people. I tried to link my Amazon account and my TiVo account and got a generic error. The help support gave me the canned response of basically "Did you try what you already tried?" which they would have realized if they'd actually read my email. Super support guys, that's the way to start a new service. Not that I'm actually gonna pay to rent or buy movies on Amazon Unboxed but it would be nice to try it out.
Well, someone has to do it and the SKers think they've got enough of a jump on the rest of us that is might as well be them. They expect to have a robot in every home by 2020 and are working to develop rules for robot human interaction. Some people expect the rules to closely model Isaac Asimov's 3 rules, while others want their robots to be able to pistol whip or kill if needed. Didn't you guys actually read any of Isaac's books? They're mostly about how the three laws are not impervious to complicated logic and will be circumvented as AI progresses. Hell, they even dipped into it in the Will Smith movie, so you really don't have an excuse.
Speaking of robots pistol whipping and killing (those are decision making tasks at heart, which is the only reason your PC isn't pistol whipping you right now), scientists are working on machines that will make medical decisions that closely approximate a patient's wishes. Its to be used in cases where someone hasn't created an advanced directive and is unable to make decisions themselves. Studies have resulted in surrogate decision makers only getting the call right 68% of the time, so these machines don't really have a very high bar to get over. Researchers hope to eventually hit a target of 90% accuracy. Of course there'll be quite the debate over letting machines assume this responsibility before the first machine gets to pull the plug.
No, not the Queen or Prince Philip, royalties. The small dividend that is paid for a commercial use of someone's copyrighted work. The Copyright Royalties Board is looking to double the amount paid per track by Internet radio stations. Now, its beyond me why there's a central committee in charge of pricing this stuff or why they're trying to jack the actual legitimate services out of business, but this seems like an odd move. Its just going to drive traffic to sites that don't pay any royalties and haven't been caught yet. We had a nice equilibrium of payment and service going but somehow consumers getting product, companies getting paid, and artists getting publicity just wasn't hacking it.
Microsoft has been going off on piracy lately with their WGA near spyware and government sponsored witch hunts in Russia. But at the end of the day, they really hope that you pirate their software and not their competitors. Its almost as if they realize that scarcity economics don't really apply to their industry. If someone isn't going to buy the software you haven't lost money. But if they get to like your product then they're more likely to get a new version which means increased sales over driving them to a freeware or open source competitor. Sound reasoning, how will you put it into action?

Wow, I'd have thought Blues Traveler was a really chill guy. But checkout the plethora of assault rifles he had in his trunk "in case of a natural disaster." I don't know if I can listen to his songs anymore without wondering if he's got a machine gun guitar like el Mariachi.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The NFL Is Full Of It.

You know what I'm talking about. Those warnings at the beginning of football games that say "you can't use this telecast, or any representation of the events that are about to transpire without the commissioner of football personally coming to your house and patting your butt. Oh and the NFL now owns your dog too." Seems unreasonable doesn't it? Well it is, and a law professor was using it as an example of copyright holders exaggerating their rights. She used a short snippet (just the copyright warning) for educational purposes, which you might think would fall under fair use. But the NFL disagrees and sent her a DMCA takedown notice. Ah yes, the DMCA (that wonderfully thought out and well justified corporate fire blanket) strikes again. This but this time the irony of a false DMCA claim to shut someone up for pointing out false copyright claims is just too much. What kind of abuses are going to make our law makers take another look at this misguided and easily exploited law?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

99% Complete Doesn't Count.

Think-Of-The-Children-ist Jack Thompson is pushing a bit of legislation through the Senate that would require video game raters to have played the entire game before rating it. Yeah, we're back to the "hot coffee" hack in San Andreas again. Just when you thought people could move on. Jack, when is the last time you played a video game, let alone a masterpiece like San Andreas? Techdirt thinks we should make him play it before he gets his way, just so he can see how impossible his proposal is.

That's right, you have to get all the oysters, the horseshoes, the snapshots, the tags. You have to beat all the mini races, all the properties, all the derbies and collect all the cars. The taxi misions, the ambulance missions, the firetruck missions, the vigilante missions, the garbage truck missions, the car dealer missions, the pizza delivery missions, the airplane missions, the hovercraft missions. You have to beat all the arcade games in the convenience stores night clubs, bars and restaurants. Oh, and you have to beat the actually storyline of the game, which is a feat in itself. And after you did all that you still would not have found the hot coffee hack because its not part of any of that stuff. So you have to try out all the cheat codes, all the mod items, the easter eggs, all the post-consumer additions. And when you resurface after about 10 months straight you won't care that a couple of fictional people got it on cause you'll love the game. You'll have played out all your frustrations and realized how wonderful it is. Oh and there's 5 more of them. I'm pretty sure Rockstar can produce this outstanding material faster than you can consume it. Remember, Vice City Stories is coming...

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Shoveling Out.

Here's a few time sensitive links that I'm just now clearing out of the bottom of the tray.  I know they would have been much better on time, but better late than never, right?

Ah good, political maneuvering isn't just restricted to "think of the children" internet and tv campaigns.   We shall, slowly but surely, ban being stupid in the United States. Either that or choke everyone to death in paperwork trying.

And that crazy astro-wannabe-murderer chick.  Kinda weird, but honestly I don't get the shock everyone went through.  Well educated people have just as much right to ruin their lives with poor decisions as anyone else.  The At Large Blog had a nice idea though.  She was in space...  Maybe something happened.  She coulda been bombarded by cosmic rays, picked up some kinda symbian, or the ever-popular body snatched and replaced with a clone/robot.  Its not unprecedented...

I made some wild claims about electric power and cars the other day and this was what I was thinking of.  330 GW might seem like a lot of power, but its only enough to provide for: Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, and North Carolina.  AND allow for a 50% increase in usage in those states.  Lets go dig up Alaska and ship fuel across the continent or burn food instead of building some damn windmills.  (whoa, the sarcasmometer is off the chart!)  They also talk about using cars to help store energy for peak hours.

And just in case you didn't hear, the less optimistic bunch (or more prepared bunch, depending on your outlook) are just assuming that something bad (I mean worse that what we've got now) is going to happen to our environment.  And in true bomb-shelter-in-the-backyard style are building a doomsday vault to house specimen of seed.  Cause whether you think we'll be repopulating the world, colonizing mars or terraforming a whole new planet after we blow ours up, its harder without plants.  Mostly the food part.  Or the shade.  Or the oxygen.  I mean, sure, we could probably work out ways around some of that stuff.  But if you ever get egotistical enough to think we don't need plants, or that we're more valuable than plants are, just notice that you don't see plants digging a bunker to store your seed for after the end of the world..

Thursday, February 08, 2007

But We Already Have a Logo.

Poor Google, those Europeans just don't understand that its best for us all to just shut-up and do what Google says.  First all those news websites suing for infringing content cause Google News linked to their articles.  And now they've lost the broad European trademark for GMail to a letter delivery service in Germany.  Like actual letters, not e-letters or anything.  They tried to buy the name off Daniel Giersch for 250,000 but it was no deal.  GMail is apparently too well established in Germany for him to give it up.  Google also lost out in the UK where GMail is an analytical software package.

I think they should take the high road and name their service "GermanyMail".  Or if that's already taken, how about "GierschMail"?

Friday, January 26, 2007

Yeah, I'll Get Right On That.

There's a post on Engadget about Uncle Milton Toys requesting them to discontinue the use of the trademarked phrase "Ant Farm." Really? You guys are the original Ant Farm creators? I guess I never really thought there was just one place this started, I mean kids putting bugs in jars is as old as the sun. And I had an actual ant farm when I was little. That was the worst bug prison ever, those mofos were all over my room. (and no, they didn't grow shit.) I just find it hard to believe that Uncle Milton is still keeping up the good fight to ward off the genericide of their brand. I mean, sure when you do a Google search Uncle Milton comes up as a related search term, but they're not directly among the results. And while I don't think I've ever heard of Uncle Milton, I definitely haven't heard of a formicarium, which is what an ant farm technically is. But hey, maybe they are the only ones making these things and the brand is so prolific that I just assume there must be competitive formicary suppliers out there. Basically I'm going to have to plead ignorant on this one, but I think I associate any glass box with ants inside with the term ant farm. I guess I could start using ant rodeo, or ant commune, or ant walden two. But I doubt I will.

And I like Engadget's response, basically "pfff... whatever." Cause they know that defending your mark is part of the process of fighting genericide. Wikipedia notes that: "One risk factor which may lead to genericide is the use of a trademark as a verb, noun, plural or possessive" So I'm thinking about working the term into my vernacular as a verb. You know, boxed in, contained, captive, existing to proliferate, having tunnel vision. Here are some examples I've thunk up:

I've been so ant farmed all week I haven't even had time to watch TV.
I'm gonna ant farm the crap outta her after we get married.
The next time that guy ant farms my car I'm gonna smash his window.

I think it works.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

You Thought It Was Over... But Its Never Over.

That's right, its time for more evoting. Well, not they actual voting part, but the part where we argue about the result, technology and obscurity. Remember that guy in Florida that lost by a few votes while thousands of votes were... um... well, not misplaced so much as never recorded? Well now a judge has ruled that he can't have access to the machine's source code because it contains "trade secrets". Yeah, trade secrets, like "randomly pick winner" and "create illusion of democracy." No, I'm just kidding. You can see exactly what's in these machines because the source code is readily available on the Internet. You just can't use it in court because the company never wanted anyone to see how they worked. Remember that story about the thug with a bullet in his head that the cops wanted to use for evidence but he hid behind patients' rights laws to keep it away from them? Strangely reminiscent.

But lets push past the legal ranglings of this company and the judge who thinks their profits transcend democratically elected governance. Why are we contracting with companies who use secrecy as their main security protocol? Nevermind that they can't actually keep a secret, this is not supposed to be a secret process. Everyone is supposed to understand how it works. Everyone drops one rock in a candidate's bucket and the one with more rocks wins. Bottom line: if you can't show me how you do it, you shouldn't be allowed to do it.

Friday, December 22, 2006

I Don't Have Any Kids To Think About.

Uh-oh FCC looks like you're on shaky ground. Ever since that boobslip a while ago (still can't believe I missed that) the FCC has been imposing mystery fines on networks with taboo content. But rather than tell the offenders what is allowed and what is not there are a set of vague 'guidelines'. The effect is that once in a while a network will get a bill in the mail that says "you shouldn't have done that."

Well 3 judges yesterday questioned that practice as well as the root issue of "won't somebody please think of the children?" The FCC is often coerced into regulating content by "Family" groups who loathe inappropriate material and wish the government would shelter their kids. The court noted that the FCC (very rightly) has no jurisdiction over cable broadcasts where kids are much more likely to see the good stuff. The FCC and the government can't protect your shorties from dirty jokes, and if the best way you can think to monitor their activities is to have the government do it, you need to do some thinkin'.

Unless of course the kids are just an excuse and the real reason you're complaining to some magical authority is that you don't think anyone should be watching this stuff. Well too damn bad. This country affords certain freedoms. Movement, assembly, flag burnin and raunchy TV. Hell, its the reason why you're allowed to think that we should all be sheltered like your 5-year-old. But I disagree, so shut the fuck up.

How To Really Stick It To The Cops.

Here's one you don't hear too often: refuse to have a bullet removed from your body what will be used as evidence against you. Apparently it was a used car-lot robbery gone wrong. Some street toughs started shooting at the owner and he shot back, striking one of the kids in the forehead. I've often thought a bullet to the forehead would kill you, but apparently the "bullet struck the teenager and borrowed into the soft, fatty tissue of his forehead." I wonder how much fatty tissue we're talking about. Was this guy a real porker, or does everyone have the ability to absorb bullets?

His friends ratted him out as being at the scene but upon questioning, the youth denied participating in the shooting. "The officers noticed the guy looks like hell. One of his eyes is black and he has a big old knot on his forehead," Rodriguez said. "He tells police he got hurt playing basketball." The cops got a warrant for the removal of the evidence but bone growths required special equipment and surgery. After the second warrant and availability of suitable medical facilities doctors again refrained from the procedure. Doctors agree that removing the bullet is not a dangerous action, but it seems that the patient's right supersede desires of the prosecution.

Moral of the story, kids, need to hide something from the cops? Don't put it in a cavity, shoot yourself with it.