DB9.

Yes, that says bacon egg and cheese Comb

Yes, that says bacon egg and cheese ComboS.

Some kinda jamacan taco...

Politician

I think I'd feel better about the leadership of this country if our leaders' statements were swapped out for lines from movies and TV. Instead of

"If money isn't loosened up, this sucker could go down." -George W Bush

Instead imagine fox news cutting to a clip of

"Shit just got real." -Martin Lawrence

It really conveys that he understands the gravity of the situation. And I wouldn't feel nearly as bad about the vacuous drivel coming out of a possible world leader

"Um, helping, oh, it’s got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade — we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today." -Sara Palin

...if it was complete and utter hilarity.

"Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The Democratic vote is the right thing to do Philadelphia, so do." - Dennis Reynolds

Update

Holy Crap. I don't mean to harp on this (well maybe I do) but this person isn't fit to run a Jamba Juice stand.

• Palin: Her Own Parody
  

At around 4:45 in this video Katie talks about the current administration's penchant for "nation building" and asks how Sara would change or improve the strategy.

Katie: "How, specifically, will you spread democracy throughout the world?"

Retarted Gameshow Contestant: "Specifically we will make every effort possible to help spread democracy for those who desire freedom, independence tolerance, respect for equality; that is the whole goal here..."

I'm sorry this isn't the final round of Family Feud and the category wasn't 

"concepts that make your tummy feel warm."  Using the word "specific" does not magically make your answer specific.  That would entail not using vague declarations someone beat into your head 15 minutes ago.  Lets see if I can trim this down to just the facts.  "How will you spread democracy?" "Effort."  Which immediately brings to mind the poster on my wall:

"When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do."

 McCain's inclusion of Palin on the ticket makes the entire campaign unqualified, dangerous and unelectable.

TV For Me?

Hmmm... I think I remember watching this show.  Its like about super powers or something, I honestly can't remember the last episode I saw... what was it a year ago?  Oh, December 07, not quite a year. Still a long-ass time.  I guess that's why you put a recap on before the 2 hour season premiere last night.  Too bad I have no patience for recaps.  I guess I can't be too pissed off that Burn Notice is over for a while.  Also, Sunny is back.  Dear god that show is silly.  I cried a little.  And bought the first three seasons on DVD today.  Good times.

Usually when I watch TV I'm pissed off about how much crap there is.  Reality this and ice-dancing that.  But really there are a bunch of shows that I do like and would watch, if only I could remember that they existed.  Lets see if I can ...

Burn Notice (USA)
The Office (NBC)

Heroes (NBC)
BSG (SCIFI)*
Psych (USA)
Sunny (FX)

Flight of The Conchords (HBO)
30 Rock (NBC)
Pushing Dasies (ABC)*
Eureka (SCIFI)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Scrubs (ABC)*
Family Guy (FOX)*
The Simpsons (FOX)*

Hmmm...  Seems like I watch a lot of TV when you write it all down like that.  Can you think of any I missed?  I guess maybe that's why the execs break it up into seasons with hiatuses, convoluted schedules and other chicanery.  Thanks boys!

* I used to be more devoted to this show but its starting to slide and should probably be off the air by now.

Holy Crap.

This is the kinda shit that keeps me up at night. No, not polishing my rifle in the dark, warily eying the door as if it were a gun restriction legislator. I mostly worry that the GOP will be able to trick enough demographics into treating this election like a single issue race.

"Probably never even been hunting a day in his life" "Defend freedom; Defeat Obama."

Really? Electing Obama will somehow dissolve the 2nd amendment? I'm pretty sure its the other party that deserves a reputation for basically ignoring our constitution. Still, how many people will ignore all the policies, decisions, and practices that are bad for the country, bad for themselves and bad for our world, to vote on a single token issue?

And I don't mean to suggest that gun-rights aren't important; there are just quite a lot of issues at play here. Sometimes I really wonder how all these folks got packaged up as the traditional GOP base. I mean, all the rich dudes make sense, huge contracts and do-whatever-the-fuck-you-want economic plans make it easier to scam serious cash. Nevermind, who's being scammed from. And then you have the rural gun lobby who may also like the "less government" approach to their issue. But the war hawks seem to have no problem growing the military and raining down terror overseas; all the while courting the religious and 'family values' aspect. Yeah, I guess if 'religious' means intollerant of other beliefs, and not actually so keen to contemplate your own. I'm sorry, what does Christianity say about extreme wealth and helping the less fortunate?

Mostly I guess I need to have faith that the American public can see through all this bullshit, spin and the lies upon lies upon lies. But I did that in 2004, thus my worries.

I look at Barack Obama and I see a man who wants to change this country, and the world, for the better. And I think he has a good shot at it. In McCain I only see a man who wants to beat Obama.

• http://www.gunbanobama.com/default.aspx?NavGuid=5b2961fd-7987-4cbf-9555-388b8fe4fb8c&ID=1284273&ArchiveGuid=430d7335-d158-44f5-aab6-bb7d1226f3fa

Replaintenance.

Well, I finally figured out why my tire sucked at holding air. Apparently there was a nail in the middle of it. Who knew tires and nails don't mix? I guess I'm gonna have to find a new place to keep my hot-dipped zinc coated box nails. Anyways, a little inter-clicking showed that my OEM tires, while fairly good, are ridiculously expensive. A few people also commented on their affinity for squealing even under proper inflation; which makes me feel better about all the noise I've been making around corners. So I decided not to drop a grand on the same ones, opting instead for a set of Eagle GT's. Don't adjust your screen, they're asymmetrical. I think I like them; they haven't made a peep yet.

What's Wrong With You?

I know this is America and we pride ourselves on letting people believe what they want to believe and say what they want to say; but just the same I would like to deport select specimen that are just not fit for human interaction.  I don't imagine we'd find too many countries lining up to take these reverse refugees, so stranding them on a desert island or just abandoning them in the middle of the ocean may be our best bet.  But alas, I'm pretty sure it won't be too easy to get the "deport dumbasses" wagon rolling; especially since they're "entitled" to various "rights"...  Luckily a state sponsored "free liquor, guns and blindfolds day" would probably have the desired effect, encouraging some folk to do the responsible thing.

• White Power McCain Endorsement - Featured Picture on BuzzFeed

Sober Thoughts.

Now usually I'm all for exclusivity. When I was 16 and there was talk of raising the driving age to 18 (I imagine this is an urban legend that circulates constantly through the 15 and a half year-old demographic) I answered with a swager that I had no qualms, since I was already rocking my Cinderella permit. So maybe its a sign of my maturity that when folks talk about lowering the drinking age I think it makes a lot of sense.

Now, I know, for a while there will be teens going wild if they're allowed to buy beer a couple years earlier. But that's only a backlash to the culture of ageist prohibition that we've created. That forbidden fruit would suddenly be readily available, and it'll be bad for a while. I dunno maybe you just 'reverse grandfather' it in to reduce the binge backlash. But ultimately reducing or eliminating the drinking age would create reasonable, accustomed young adults, able to make responsible decisions.

I didn't drink until I was 21, but I'm a very good boy. Quite a few teens are sneaking around pinching a nip where they can anyway; it seems like a very defiant and adult thing to do. And there's nothing wrong with that except that their parents can't keep an eye on their behavior. Just like with video games, Interneting and sugar, young adults need to learn to balance their lives and avoid excess. Our current system throws them into the deep end when they leave home at 18, still 'illegal' but now away from their parents' watchful eye. This is especially salient on a college campus where half the population is of tenure, contrasted with the underage but independent underclassmen.

Much of the opposition I've noticed is from anti-drunk-driving organizations, which doesn't exactly make sense to me. Drunk driving is not okay, no matter the offender's age. There are generally statistics bandied about citing a reduction in fatalities corresponding with 21 drinking legislation. But if that correlation was valid, shouldn't these organizations be pushing to raise the drinking age to 50? Surely that would have marked effects on traffic fatalities. But they're not, probably because restricting the rights of legal adults in this matter is unreasonable and unjustifiable. The article below points out that federally raising the drinking age did not effect automobile fatalities; safer cars, education and medical technologies are all responsible. It argues very poignantly against confusing drinking legislation with driving legislation. These are not alcohol fatalities, they are automobile fatalities.

And in fact, just last week I saw an ad on the metro that showed a graph of highway fatalities and alcohol related fatalities over time. (I didn't have time to snap a picture so if anyone sees it I'd appreciate a shot) Basically it showed alcohol related fatalities dropping at a 45 degree angle and 'sober' fatalities rising at the opposite rate. The caption's jist was "do you know where your greatest threat lies?” leading the viewer to surmise that aggressive drivers are much more prevalent and dangerous than drunk drivers. Which I find completely believable in the DC area; drunk drivers slowly weaving down the highway would get run off the road by the impatient and angry.

This is an issue of trust. We don’t trust young adults to make good decisions and we don’t trust their parents to raise responsible young adults. And since we expect children to sneak around, violating the law with dangerous practices, that’s what they do; either out of rebellion or convenience or pressure. It is a parent’s responsibility to raise their offspring and equip them to be viable adults; and it should be their choice how and when to educate them on the dangers and pleasures of alcohol. If anything we need to do more to create responsible parents rather than legislating away their innate responsibility by treating the second hand symptoms.

• Bottoms Up! - Forbes.com via --> Dadsmacker
  

Baby, I've Changed.

Its almost like we've got a three party system going on here. Its the Democrats vs. the Republicans vs. the Republicans. Nevermind that the two types of Republicans are nearly indistinguishable from the lame-duck to the next duck in line. The latter Republicans have decided that its time for a change, stating that "Washington isn't working". Well maybe you should get your asses back there and punch the time clock while you're still allowed in the building. But despite the new stream of rhetoric about change and fixing "things" no one seems to be able to say what the New Grand Old Party would do differently from the current one, apart from understand less about the needs of people who don't have summer homes. Here are a few of the "changes" I noticed on McCain's site that we can we can look forward to:

• Magically reducing gas prices (he must have that wand George lost), continuing tax cuts for the wealthy and various other tax breaks that reduce revenue without explaining how to make up the difference.
  
• Fighting climate change by producing more power, domestically drilling for oil (growing our own opium) or burning coal and crops. Rewarding oil companies to keep gouging us and paying little
  attention to technologies that would ease their strangle hold and
  actually reduce global warming.
  
• More war; somehow increasing the size of the military despite it being underfunded and over-deployed as it is.
  
• Free range, sink or swim health care.
  
• Population increases through abstinence-only education and overturning Roe v. Wade; reducing our dependence on foreign adoptions. (domestically drilling for babies)
  
• Protecting people's rights by outlawing same-sex marriages. (not sure I follow)
  
• Protecting children from the dark side of the Internet... somehow.
  
• Protecting human dignity. (no torture, maybe?)
• Ensure that everyone keeps a trigger lock on their armor piercing high capacity magazine assault rifles.
• Provide high-speed Internet to all Americans (even you John?) by allowing local communities to build connections if the local telcom monopoly has waived its right of first refusal.
  

Its kinda like McCain is the boyfriend who did something stupid and
noticed that his lady is really pissed off. He wants to make it right,
but doesn't know what's wrong, and not if it means making real changes. The
classic "I'm not going to tell you if you don't already know." Lets
hope he doesn't show up tonight with wilted carnations and a 6-pack of condoms.

• Editorial - John McCain Runs Against Themselves - Editorial - NYTimes.com

Post Haste.

I recently sent in a comment to the National Geographic society about all the junk mail they send me. Like three in the past two weeks, seems a little excessive.

I have renewed my National Geographic Magazine subscription until 2010, yet I continue to receive mailers telling me my subscription is running out. I have taken great lengths to reduce the amount of trash I receive in the mail, and while I enjoy the magazine, these offers are redundant and unnecessary. Please update whatever records your retention unit employs or if you contract out this mailer-driven campaign, you may want to check to see that your money is being spent wisely. Thank you, from a loyal customer who doesn't want more wasted paper.

I think its pretty reasonable not to be bothered again and again and again with warning pamphlets and pre-addressed envelopes for something that I've already bought. Luckily the customer service rep that read my suggestion had a helpful tip for dealing with the glut:

Please disregard the duplicate renewal notice. We apologize for any inconvenience or concern this matter has caused you. Our renewals are preprinted to help our members avoid a lapse in service. Sometimes this causes our members’ orders to cross in the mail with our renewal offers. If you have any further questions... [blah, blah, brushoff]

Oh, really? Thanks, I'm too big of a moron to know when to ignore useless shit. I was really worried that the towering pile of junk mail in my living room would fall over and crush me as I walked past in the morning; but now I know I can just throw it all in the trash. That's dynamite!

I don't want your goddamn apologies, I want you to stop sending (or more importantly, printing) these letters in the first place. And as for telling me that they are pre-printed in some lackluster attempt to make me feel better? That just tells me that you're sending these things to everyone that has only 6 months of service left. Its not a mistake, we regularly inundate about half of our members with repetitive, redundant and mildly insulting mailers that waste time, money and resources.

I mean, I know that subscribing to a magazine isn't very green, but come on, can't you guys help me out a little and keep it to a minimum?

Let the insanity begin...It occurs to me

Let the insanity begin...It occurs to me that jury duty is a lot like going to the MVA. At least the waiting around in the jury "lounge" is, i'm not as sure about the court room part. Basically i'm waiting for them to call my number but have no idea when or if they actually will.