Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Sober Thoughts.

Now usually I'm all for exclusivity. When I was 16 and there was talk of raising the driving age to 18 (I imagine this is an urban legend that circulates constantly through the 15 and a half year-old demographic) I answered with a swager that I had no qualms, since I was already rocking my Cinderella permit. So maybe its a sign of my maturity that when folks talk about lowering the drinking age I think it makes a lot of sense.

Now, I know, for a while there will be teens going wild if they're allowed to buy beer a couple years earlier. But that's only a backlash to the culture of ageist prohibition that we've created. That forbidden fruit would suddenly be readily available, and it'll be bad for a while. I dunno maybe you just 'reverse grandfather' it in to reduce the binge backlash. But ultimately reducing or eliminating the drinking age would create reasonable, accustomed young adults, able to make responsible decisions.

I didn't drink until I was 21, but I'm a very good boy. Quite a few teens are sneaking around pinching a nip where they can anyway; it seems like a very defiant and adult thing to do. And there's nothing wrong with that except that their parents can't keep an eye on their behavior. Just like with video games, Interneting and sugar, young adults need to learn to balance their lives and avoid excess. Our current system throws them into the deep end when they leave home at 18, still 'illegal' but now away from their parents' watchful eye. This is especially salient on a college campus where half the population is of tenure, contrasted with the underage but independent underclassmen.

Much of the opposition I've noticed is from anti-drunk-driving organizations, which doesn't exactly make sense to me. Drunk driving is not okay, no matter the offender's age. There are generally statistics bandied about citing a reduction in fatalities corresponding with 21 drinking legislation. But if that correlation was valid, shouldn't these organizations be pushing to raise the drinking age to 50? Surely that would have marked effects on traffic fatalities. But they're not, probably because restricting the rights of legal adults in this matter is unreasonable and unjustifiable. The article below points out that federally raising the drinking age did not effect automobile fatalities; safer cars, education and medical technologies are all responsible. It argues very poignantly against confusing drinking legislation with driving legislation. These are not alcohol fatalities, they are automobile fatalities.

And in fact, just last week I saw an ad on the metro that showed a graph of highway fatalities and alcohol related fatalities over time. (I didn't have time to snap a picture so if anyone sees it I'd appreciate a shot) Basically it showed alcohol related fatalities dropping at a 45 degree angle and 'sober' fatalities rising at the opposite rate. The caption's jist was "do you know where your greatest threat lies?” leading the viewer to surmise that aggressive drivers are much more prevalent and dangerous than drunk drivers. Which I find completely believable in the DC area; drunk drivers slowly weaving down the highway would get run off the road by the impatient and angry.

This is an issue of trust. We don’t trust young adults to make good decisions and we don’t trust their parents to raise responsible young adults. And since we expect children to sneak around, violating the law with dangerous practices, that’s what they do; either out of rebellion or convenience or pressure. It is a parent’s responsibility to raise their offspring and equip them to be viable adults; and it should be their choice how and when to educate them on the dangers and pleasures of alcohol. If anything we need to do more to create responsible parents rather than legislating away their innate responsibility by treating the second hand symptoms.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Fangs!

Ok, let me 'splain you a joke that's been going around my basement for a couple of weeks now. So Natural Light is this pretty cheap beer that we became accustomed to in college for a variety of reasons. (mostly it doesn't taste like hangover and urine to me like bud does. ya bud!) Anyway, the can used to have a design like this:
And eventually they rethought the old classic into something like this:

Oh, yeah that's modern. Sleek and refined and for some reason there are two blue palm fronds behind the busch logo. Stealth bombers? Boomarangs? Its a mystery. Then a while ago they came up with this more moderner packaging on the right:
ROOAAAWRRR! FANGS! Slicker, sleeker and more dangerous! Clearly beer with fangs.
And in case you had any doubt about their fangliness, you need only look as far as a Strong Bad Email for edification.

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail153.html

For those of you unwilling to click the links I give you, Strong Bad as redesigning the "No Loafing" sign to be more "fast and slick and shiny like Flo Jo in a tuxedo" Then at the end he slaps on some fangs with no explanation; because adding fangs makes things awesome and requires no explanation.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure this is what happened with the Natty Lite design. A bunch of guys were sitting around a board room or a design studio or a stripper pole, where ever these kinds of things get decided. They were making the brand faster and sleeker and then at the end someone slapped on some fangs cause, well obviously things are cooler with fangs, and beer is no exception.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Where'd I Leave My Heart Medicine?

Yep, looks like all those reports of beer being healthy just got another boost, and the black gold in particular. A study finds that a pint of Guinness a day helps prevent blood clots and heart attacks as well as aspirin. Lagers do not afford the same benefits. Researchers believe that Guinness contains antioxidant compounds much like healthy fruits and vegetables. Guinness' first study in 1920 consisted of asking people "do you feel good" after a pint, which resulted in the "Guinness is good for you" slogan. Cause honestly, who doesn't feel good after a beer? But some kill-joy told them they couldn't maintain that claim and they abandoned the health aspect. So its taken 80 years and we're full circle, drink up mates, its heart healthy again.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Don't Nag Me About Putting Beer On My Cereal.

I keep telling you, the Japanese are ten years ahead of us. They've got solutions for problems that we haven't even heard of yet. Like, what do you do when people stop drinking milk? Make beer out of it. Brilliant!

A crafty brewer came up with this solution after last years massive milk surplus. I guess its better than pouring it down the drain. And people say we're the land of excess. Oh wait, we burn food, which making alcohol out of it seems pretty reasonable. Back on top, baby!

Anyway, you're probably not going to see this too soon, right now sales are restricted to six liquor stores in Nakashibetsu, Japan. So unless you've got a serious jonesin for a fruity low-malt milk derivative, you're stuck just dreaming about calcium bed-spins.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Dangle

"The game of skill and wits."

Summary:

Dangle is a game played with two to eight people using up to four frisbees and at minimum 6 bottled beers.

Minimum Requirements

  • two people
  • one disc
  • six bottled beers
  • open space at least 60 feet in length and 20 feet in width.

Recommended Requirements

  • three or four people
  • three or four discs
  • 18 bottled beers
  • groomed grass surface 80 feet long and 35 feet wide.

Glossary:

Areas

field- the loosely defined in-play area of the game; a reasonable proximity to the game.

ground- the surface of the earth or an extension of a structure or plant emerging from the earth.

side- one of two areas on the field where players stand, keep their stores, set the triforces, and execute their throws.

opposing side- the side that is currently being thrown to.

local side- the side that is currently making throws.

back plane- the plane defined as perpendicular to the ground and parallel to the front bottles which passes through the opposing rear triforce bottle.

front plane- the plane parallel to the back plane that passes through the local rear triforce bottle.

dmz- the area of the field between the front and back planes. This region's width is not specifically limited, although it need not be any larger than the arc a disc may take at a height of 6 feet from the ground and still return to the proximity of the opposing triforce.

Objects

disc- the Frisbee that the player introduces to the playing field during the current throw.

spent disc- a disc that has been removed from the field or has yet to be entered that half-round. Spent discs are not in play.

bottle- a glass (or plastic) beverage container

triforce- an equilateral triangle "pointing" towards the back of the field with its flat end facing the opposing side.

triforce bottle- one of the three bottles that make up the triforce of each side of the field.

store- the collection of empty and full bottles that are not in play and are in a storage device.

beer- a bottle that was opened by a player on the opposing side and has not yet been returned empty to the store.

stone- a disc or bottle that has come to rest in front of or intersecting the opposing back plane.


Durations

throw- an opportunity for a player to place a disc in play.

turn- the sum of one player's throws in that round.

half-round- all the players' turns on one side.

round- the two half rounds during which each player has had one turn. This process returns the Frisbees to their starting orientation, after which the players may rotate positions if it is necessary in the playing configuration.

end- a set of 10 rounds.

game- the sum of the ends played.


Pre-game:

Make 6 empty beer bottles. Warm-up rounds may be played with as many bottles as available, dividing the bottles evenly by placing the greater number on the side occupied by the least number of players.

Set-up:

Empty beer bottles are spaced a goodly distance apart into 2 groups of 3. The bottles shall be placed in, as close as ground conditions allow, a triforce with side length no more than three disc diameters. The triforce is oriented with the point away from the dmz.

Game-play:

The players will take turns one at a time throwing discs at the opposing bottles. Players throw from behind the front plane of the local triforce. If a player knocks over a bottle it is scored immediately but left in place on the field as a stone until that player's turn has concluded. Opposing and local players should keep clear of the dmz during throws and may not interfere with discs in that area. After the turn all displaced bottles are returned to triforce orientation. Discs that come to rest behind the back plane may be cleared by the opposing side, however discs that do not clear the back plane are to be left in play as stones until the half round is over. There are 10 rounds in and end. The number of ends played is the same as the number of people playing.

Scoring:

Score is determined by the number and type of valid contacts made to bottles. Each player is responsible for his own score and shall keep a running tally in his head. Points are generated from the following types of contact:

  • the disc or a stone touches the bottle (a dink)- 1 point
  • the disc or a stone knocks the bottle over after contacting the ground - 2 points
  • the disk knocks the bottle over without first contacting the ground - 4 points

Clarifications and Addenda:

  • Beers are in play and hold the same value as triforce bottles.
  • Bottles in a store are not in play.
  • If a stone is placed into motion by the disc it may generate valid contacts with bottles.
  • If more than one bottle is contacted by the disc or a valid stone all contacts are scored as normal and the result is multiplied by 2.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I'm Gonna Need That Shash Back.


Damn, I've gotta start paying attention to pageants. Miss whatever nearly had her title stripped after accusations of partying too hearty in New York. Really? She sounds cool. Hey, back off Donald, you're the ones who picked her in the first place. Its not her fault that you're a bad judge of character. And who's to say she's not doing your little show a favor? You know, scandals draw interest. I didn't see any of the contest in April, but I'm willing to bet that her answer to "what will you do as Miss USA?" didn't include making out with Miss Teen USA.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Stop The Presses!

Get the BBC on the Phone! We've gotta tell people about this. Britney and what's-his-face are splitting. Or something. I haven't been this broken up since Nick and Jessica started banging other people. *sniff* Why Britney, why?

Dammit, I could have used those braincells to learn Italian. I guess my only option is to try and take them out with a laser-guided precision beer strike.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

You Can't Get Drunk Playing PlayStation.

Every once in a while (right) I like to dispense to you, my adoring public, tidbits of genius that I happen across. Here's one to remember: You can't get drunk playing PlayStation. Write that down. Its just too hand intensive. Really, alcohol consumption leads itself much more readily to less consuming enterprises, like watching football or web development. I have no doubt that some of you may have devised solutions to this problem, but its just not worth the effort. Speaking of which, I'm no stick in the mud but grilling from an apartment is a lot of effort. My window looks out on the pool slash picnic area, and I've been watching a few ladies carry all kinds of supplies out for the last few minutes. Now, granted, I'm not food driven, but this seems like an awful lot of work for a poorly cooked burger. That fire is going out any second; despite the wild fanning.