Holy Moses.

Uh, yeah, that's just gin and olives. I think; I can't really taste the olives yet. I'm still not sure what the hell vermouth is, but I don't think its getting the job done. Maybe I should take the suggesion of pre-freezing your bar ware more seriously. But nonetheless, its 5 o'clock, Martini time!  

• Deano

TV For Me?

Hmmm... I think I remember watching this show.  Its like about super powers or something, I honestly can't remember the last episode I saw... what was it a year ago?  Oh, December 07, not quite a year. Still a long-ass time.  I guess that's why you put a recap on before the 2 hour season premiere last night.  Too bad I have no patience for recaps.  I guess I can't be too pissed off that Burn Notice is over for a while.  Also, Sunny is back.  Dear god that show is silly.  I cried a little.  And bought the first three seasons on DVD today.  Good times.

Usually when I watch TV I'm pissed off about how much crap there is.  Reality this and ice-dancing that.  But really there are a bunch of shows that I do like and would watch, if only I could remember that they existed.  Lets see if I can ...

Burn Notice (USA)
The Office (NBC)

Heroes (NBC)
BSG (SCIFI)*
Psych (USA)
Sunny (FX)

Flight of The Conchords (HBO)
30 Rock (NBC)
Pushing Dasies (ABC)*
Eureka (SCIFI)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Scrubs (ABC)*
Family Guy (FOX)*
The Simpsons (FOX)*

Hmmm...  Seems like I watch a lot of TV when you write it all down like that.  Can you think of any I missed?  I guess maybe that's why the execs break it up into seasons with hiatuses, convoluted schedules and other chicanery.  Thanks boys!

* I used to be more devoted to this show but its starting to slide and should probably be off the air by now.

Suit Up.

Ok, I'll admit it. One of my guilty pleasures is watching How I Met Your Mother. Its pretty much your standard 3 camera friends-in-city formula but I like it. The writing doesn't completely suck and not all the actors make me want to break things, but mostly the best reason for the show's existence is Barney Stinson. Played by Neil Patrick Harris, this character is pure freaking gold. If you've never seen it, I don't know what I can do to persuade you. Oh, wait. Yes I do. I found what is possibly the best blog ever (move over Creed) because it is... brace yourself... Barney's blog. Yeah, I know, how great is that? Very great, that's how great. I'm only a few pages in and I can't keep it to myself any more. What with the:

1. Phone script for dumping girls
2. Guide to licking national monuments
3. Types of party to avoid
4. List of ways women are like fish
5. Bachelor party attendee stereotypes

I'm pretty sure its all this good though, so make sure you git to clickin. Oh and I imagine the posts will continue as the show is back next Monday at eight in the pm.

• Holy Crap Its Barney's Blog

Well, If The TV Says So...

I do like things that criticize Bush. The only way to get Americans educated about the travesties we are perpetrating is to buy commercial time during American Idol and Extremely Depressing Family Help Out Show. Of course, having credible testimonies would help out too, and two retired army major generals would probably do just that. We need more people questioning the authority that is backing us into a corner day after day.

• Ads to Criticize Bush on Iraq War: News from The Associated Press

CBS Tries Its Hand At 'The Office'

Tired of playing second fiddle with its terrible ideas, CBS is grabbing the concept for The Office and putting their own spin on it.  David Spade will replace Steve Carell as the zany office manager, with various other, minor, changes in characters.

"The budding romance between Jen and Tom is really the foundation of the show," said director Howard Gatson, who has made their connection "more believable" by casting more traditionally attractive actors in the roles. "People are going to tune in every week to see if Jen will ever leave her fiancé to be with Tom. And they'll be so relieved when she finally does in episode three."

Dwayne will play a more stern, grizzled Iraq war veteran that will lend more credibility to his authority.  CBS is also making various format changes to suit their viewers, mostly making the show less confusing.

The faux-documentary format has been dropped in favor of a traditional three-camera setup, and a laugh track has been added to fill in any painful, awkward pauses in dialogue that might slow down the show.

Removing disorienting camera angles and telling viewers when to laugh should go a long way in enticing typical CBS audiences to stick around.  Of course there are critics that say thowing the same concept with different actors won't automatically produce a hit show, but CBS remains optimistic and is venturing forward with near reckless abandon.

They have already commissioned two 12-episode seasons of the reworked sitcom, tentatively titled The Office, and slotted the show for their most competitive time slot, Thursdays at 8:30 p.m.

• CBS To Release Own Version Of NBC's The Office | America's Finest News Source

Louis Vuitton Act 13 day 2

So I'm "watching" the race on the little distance graph thing. Its pretty cool, for not having the boats on a map or video feed or anything. Its shows each boats' place and distance from the leader. There are also remarks and commentary about what's happening. Its pretty exciting. Then I see that +39 CHallenge's mast has snapped and the Germans are retiring from the race. Alinghi is trying to reel in the Americans from a 120m deficit, and now they're 115m ahead. Really really makes me wish I had video of this. Why can't they yank something and put on the oldest and most expensive sporting competition in the world?

32nd America's Cup Official Website - Valencia Louis Vuitton Act 13

I'm Gonna Need That Shash Back.

Damn, I've gotta start paying attention to pageants. Miss whatever nearly had her title stripped after accusations of partying too hearty in New York. Really? She sounds cool. Hey, back off Donald, you're the ones who picked her in the first place. Its not her fault that you're a bad judge of character. And who's to say she's not doing your little show a favor? You know, scandals draw interest. I didn't see any of the contest in April, but I'm willing to bet that her answer to "what will you do as Miss USA?" didn't include making out with Miss Teen USA.

• BBC NEWS | Americas | US beauty queen to keep her title

Table For Two.

Ouch. Talk about lonely. This company is making dinner companion DVD's for people who know they're going to be eating alone but want to pretend that they're not. I really can't imagine how sad this might be were it used in earnest. But I do think someone should get one and a portable DVD player to take to a nice restaurant by himself. Of course it'd be best of you could tape the hilarity yourself, but I'm not sure about the details.

• Dutch art company releases "dinner conversation" DVD for solo diners - Engadget

Relax It Just FEELS Like Your Skin Is Burning Off.

There have been a bunch of stories about the Air Force's new pain ray. Is it ethical? Is it safe? You know all those wimpy questions. Only Defense Tech has the balls to ask "Is it entertaining?" They've come up with the next great idea for American Reality TV. An obstacle course to complete and attention hungry stars running it while under the happy gaze of Mr microwave. And I also like the popular vote draft method they suggest. Although I have to say, after all the talk about this pain ray, I'm a little disappointed. Its just a big microwave without the oven. I thought we were talking about a way to stimulate just the pain receptors without actually causing damage (no matter how insignificant).

• Defense Tech: Drunks, Butts Test Pain Ray; Paris Hilton Next?

My TV Jumps Like That Too...

I Can't Force You To Read This.

An article at TechDirt lays some smack down on Harry Fuller's little snippet about TV/Internet integration. Its mostly about Stephen Colbert and how Harry says he's doing it all wrong. He tries to tee up on the recent Star Wars green screen challenge.

"But can you find that video on the Colbert Web site? Of course not, you have to go to YouTube to see the videos fans produced. Colbert thinks he can use the Web to force people to watch his TV show? Not too swift."

I'm gonna have to jump on the TechDirt wagon cause most of that noise doesn't make any sense at all. Fuller is a former TV executive, so I guess he wants all information easily contained and sanitized for consumption in a single location. That way they can "force" you to view their content. For example, I just looked at the source code of FoxNews.com and didn't find a single external link other than its ads. Yeah, you get the Internet. Colbert talks about (and creates) current Internet events on his show. He doesn't just have a sad little site that tries to supplement what I saw on TV. If I want more information on something, there are way better sources than FoxNews.com. In all honestly I can't even remember most websites that they tell me on TV. I have never been to ColbertNation.com. But I did vote to name the bridge in Hungary (after Chuck Norris), because I found a link to it on another site.

That's what the executive fringe doesn't seem to get. I'm not typing in a url and staying confined within that domain. I'm clicking links, I'm looking at sources, I'm enjoying quality websites that aren't concerned with cornering market share. When I post external links here I assume that most of you will at least glance at them. And I fully expect that I'll loose a good portion of traffic from people that just never make it back. The Internet is too big and interesting to limit readers like that. I've come to expect it, and I can only hope that people will be drawn in by my terribly witty insights. So I think that what Stephen Colbert is doing is exactly what Internet integration should be. Becoming part of the buzz and accepting it as its own medium, not just a way to corral more eyeballs into your roundhouse.

P.S.
Harry Fuller,
No I'd never heard of current.tv (wikipedia), but now I have thanks to the external link on your post. And now they have another link from my post. See how the Internet goes down?

Desert Pete.

Yeah, I'm back from my reprieve. And no, the airport security wasn't terribly out of control. Course I was there an ass-crack and a half early, so it may have turned into pandelerium after I was through. I would however just like to comment on how ridiculous this ban on fluids is. It is ridiculous. Very. You can't take any liquids through security (except for some). But you can buy them or use the water fountains in the terminal. But you can't take any on the plane. Unless the boarding agents don't see them. Yeah, this is a super policy that is increasing the safety of flights. Lookit, airport security is just about the illusion of security anyway, lets not delude ourselves. I was delighted when I got home to see a Daily Show on this very topic, which was exactly what I needed to turn my fuming into chuckling. Thank you Daily Show, you're probably the reason I haven't died from stroke or highblood pressure yet. And for a bonus clip, check out Colbert and Stewart sticking it to Geraldo and o'Reilly. That's good squishy. Now if you'll excuse my I'm going back to my Kingston Trio album.