Zune To Be Gone.

Yep, that's about right. Dee sent me this link suggesting Doug Morris as an addition to the enemies list. User submitted enemies?!? All in good time, but first lets run through the points of this article about why Zune sucks ass. (besides the name which always makes me think of psychic dukes in the desert. no, I obviously haven't seen it.)

1) Software. The Zune app (the only way to get music onto your Zune) is a huge pain to install and set up. There are all kinds of registration screens and sometimes the installation just plain fails. I have yet to read a review of a smooth installation.
2) Points. The first time I went to ESPN zone I had an ok time. Mostly I was just trying to figure out the point system and how much I was dropping on a particular game. Always be wary of arbitrary monetary schemes. Why is the company making you exchange your money for 'points' of nonsensical value? To disassociate your actions from their real cost. Oh and so they can charge more for certain titles that the music industry tells them to.
3) DRM. Yes Microsoft came up with a DRM scheme. Its called playsforsure. Sounds good, but doesn't really deliver. No the Zune doesn't implement playsforsure. Dogfood not meaty enough for you guys? DRM even taints the one innovation of Zune by engulfing tracks before they're lent to other users (if you can find someone else with a Zune) via WiFi. So even open mp3's get DRMed and expire leaving only an advertisement to buy the track from the Zune store.
4) Music Industry. We all hate the music industry. There was music before them; there will be music after them. Their only purpose is to collect and distribute money to people that have no musical talent. But they get a kickback for every Zune sold, and no doubt will soon have their hand deep within the Zune store exploiting the poor souls who were stupid enough to get locked into it.

And on that industry note, we come to Doug Morris the CEO of Universal Music Group. He says: "These devices are just repositories for stolen music, and they all know it. So it's time to get paid for it." Wow. Wowie wow. I'd thought the state of online music sales was pretty good. Apparently not. Well cars are used to move illegal drugs. I guess the pharmaceutical companies should get a chunk of car sales. Not willing to follow me there? Well how about PC's? You don't think PC's are music repositories too? And what if we do pay you a kickback? Does that then legitimize illegal music transfer? You bitches make the iTunes music store look downright reputable.

In summation: Don't buy a Zune. Tell your friends not to buy a Zune. Tell them to tell their friends. And Doug Morris, you're a douche. Chalk him up on the big board...

• CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Andy Ihnatko :: Avoid the loony Zune