Dig-it-all Cable.

So I fired up the digital cable for the first time last night.  We've had it for about a month now and this is the first time its crossed my mind.  See, with 2 tivos (3 tuners), a wii (for viewing Internet videos), and over 400 DVDs I have altogether way too much content to consume.  Especially since its summer in the city and there's pretty much always something great going down.

Anyway, its pretty cool, and much higher quality than streaming pirated TV shows from sites that get closed down faster than Fox cancels great programming.  We watched a couple episodes of Flight Of The Conchords from on demand HBO.  That show is great.  Period.  If you don't have access to it, find a friend who does and snuggle in close cause you're in for a treat.  I'm not gonna say anything else, just go.  Now.

Fight For Your Right To Parrrr-take.

Google is fighting to get its foot in the door of the wireless spectrum that's soon to open up because of digital TV.  It is making a pitch to the FCC as to why they should encourage an open platform rather than let current telecoms strangle every last penny out of us.  God knows I'm paying more than I should for basic human rights like text messaging, so this plea sparks and interesting thought in my head.

The US was founded with the idea that people would elect representatives to the government who would represent their interests and legislate accordingly.  I'm not gonna say that's not happening any more, but you have to admit that corporate interests have taken quite a chunk out of the free governance that was originally enjoyed, and my elected officials seem to squabble more about sex scandals than effect positive change.  So what is our next step?  How do we fight this great silent influence?  We need a corporation that lobbies for the common good, against the greed and corruption that has proved so effective at increasing the bottom line for shareholders against the defenses of consumers.  We need to support a champion who will stand against the sedentary business models which benefit industry not through innovation, but through stagnation and planned obsolescence.

I'm not sure that Google is definitely that champion, but I think they're as close as we've ever seen.  And I think we need to rally behind them because a champion without constituents stands for a fleeting dream that cannot be held.

• Google Public Policy Blog: Restoring competitive balance to the upcoming spectrum auction

Point And Laugh At The Next H2 You See.

Indiana- a local hill climb competition took a wide array of entrants including a turbo diesel Dodge, a sheriff's patrol car, a Hummer H2, and a Model T.  Yes, Model T like Henry Ford in 1921 Model T.  Gary Le Fever, 70, has made a few modifications to the 86 year old ringer, like some parts from a Model A, valves from the 1920's and carburetors from 1930, that boost the T's HP up to 100 from its standard 20.

The decked-out oldster smoked it's competition up the 475ft climb, besting the H2 by
.78 seconds with a time of 9.96.  Ouch for the Hummer, slower than a Tin Lizzy with 216 less horsepower.

• Flivver Beats Hummer - Forbes.com

Keep That Effing Cat Away From Me.

There's a cat in Providence that has an uncanny ability to pick out fading patients.  The hospice staff thinks its very helpful as the patient only has about 4 hours to live after Oscar gives them the snuggle of death.

I can imagine someone giving the low-down to a newbie.  "Hey, welcome aboard.  I'm Sam.  Don't sit in my goddamn chair.  Tuesday is pudding day.  That's Oscar the cat you'll die if he sits on you.  Nurse Bronson has a nice rack.  See ya around!"

The way I see it they have two routes to take here:
1) buy him a stethoscope and and tiny white coat and start calling him Dr Oscar or
2) buy him a tiny black robe and a sickle.

• Oscar the cat predicts patients' deaths - Yahoo! News

You're Keeping Those Tonsils Till You're Married.

New research shows that tonsils may be more susceptible to HIV than other parts of the mouth.  So in keeping with their line of thinking on the Promiscuity Vaccine , conservatives should be railing against tonsillectomies because it will give teenagers the message that BJ's are awesome.  Right?

Ok, fine the researchers advise that people don't go get their tonsils removed as an HIV prevention tact, since only 1 in 5,000 oral escapades contracts the disease.   So removing everyone's tonsils wouldn't slash disease rates the way a universal vaccine against HPV would.

But I still find it a humorous parallel to draw; relating removing a child's tonsils with increased sexual deviance.

• Tonsils may help transmit HIV during oral sex - health - 26 July 2007 - New Scientist

Let Me Give You My Numbers.

Are you a guy out at the bar scene looking for a less overt yet deviously skeezy way to land that biddy? Well never fear, some young entrepreneur has your back. For a low printing and shipping surcharge you can keep your wallet stocked with reasonably realistic fake ATM receipts showing your massively bloated checking account balance. That way when "searching" for something to scrawl your number on you can accidentally give her the impression that you're either A) fabulously wealthy enough to jump that very moment B) worthless at managing your finances to have left so much money in a low yield checking account or C) a guy that has fake ATM receipts printed up to give to women. Win-freaking-win.

• Fake ATM Receipts - Featured on BuzzFeed

Now Make It Fold Into A Briefcase.

I was trying to get the hell out of the city a couple weeks ago with a couple friends.  We were making all the wrong turns; finding roadwork, closed bridges, morons and traffic from hell at every corner.  Which brought to mind the question of flying personal aircraft instead of commuting by roads.  My buddies didn't think it'd happen in our lifetime, but I know there are some rich crazies out there who are just aching for a chance to pilot their own UFO to work in the morning.  Course living in Washington will push back the time line a few years because the levitating cars will need to be able to out-maneuver the F-15s and anti-aircraft fire they are sure to draw.  But it will still totally be worth not sitting on 395 trying to get over than damn river.

• Commute by hovercraft with the Moller M200G - AutoblogGreen

I Ain't Sayin Nothin.

Ever get the feeling that the Bush administration is run strangely like the mafia?  Sure, you'll take down a few mid-levels on piddly perjury charges,  but you'll never find out about the big shit if we all just clam up.  Gonzales did an amazing impression of Johnny Tightlips with his parrot-like mastery of the phrase "I don't recall" but it looks like he may have spilled a few beans.  Its such a weak charge compared to all the other crap they were probably up to, but hey sometimes you've gotta take someone down on tax avoision rather than mass murder.  Especially if he's the leader of the free world.

• BBC NEWS | Americas | FBI chief 'contradicts Gonzales'

Daily Swag.

Alright folks, I've taken the plunge and placed yet another order at the DP store.  I picked up a couple of totes so I don't have to kill the earth when I go grocery shopping any more.  I also ordered three t-shirts that I already have and a few bumper stickers, even though I'm in no way ready to start defacing my car.  So here's the deal: if I hear you, in casual conversation with non placebo-addicts, cite Daily Placebo as the source of information / indisputable proof of something you'll be entered into an impartial drawing for one of these fabulous prizes.

Daily Placebo Name Dropping Sweepstakes Contest Jargon:

One entry per person, no purchase required, entries subject to contest official's judgment, drawing date TBD on August 1, 2007.

No Top Gear For You.

Well, they can't get shit done for me again.  There were plans to bring Top Gear, the British motorcar show, to the US for our personal consumption.  But one of the stars of the show couldn't bare to live in LA for 3 months away from his family.

Which -brace yourselves- I find perfectly fucking reasonable.  I wouldn't want to live in LA either; especially not for a driving show.  What I am pissed off about (I know, you were worried I wasn't going to yell at anyone) is the fact that they think they should make a Top Gear in America specifically for American consumption.  What?  You've got a perfectly good show, and even quite a few seasons in the can, why don't you just put it on the god damn air?  Afraid we won't be able to understand the accents?  Or more afraid that we'll see the awesome cars they get in Europe and cry out at the US automotive industry?  You decide.

• Top Gear - Jalopnik

Lets Legislate Against Sweeping Generalizations.

A couple congressmen are railing against P2P networks because a few government morons installed Limewire on their computers and shared privileged information.  They're now drafting a bill that will somehow control the problem, never mind the fact that the violated government policy already solves it.  You just need to enforce the policy.  But no, I'm sure they'll piece together some type of phrasing that will, because of their total ignorance in the field, either be completely in effective or outlaw general P2P file transmission.  Which is akin to banning the use of windows in peoples' homes because burglars can sneak into government offices if staffers forget to lock them.

• Techdirt: Politicians Blame P2P Software For Not Stopping Gov't Employee Stupidity

Up In The Sky!

Its a bird!  Its a plane!  Its Google!

Google has bought an aerial photography company complete with planes and high resolution cameras.  Apparently they're ready to start fooling around with not buying all their data from third party vendors, which could have very cool results.  I could see them canvasing urban areas to document events from above and streamlining the data processing step so that imagery is a little more current.  (how many times have you looked up directions to a building that was still under construction in the Google recon data?)  But it'll still be a while before anything is up and running, so don't start salivating quite yet.  Although, if I were one of these competing companies I'd be a little worried about the inevitable Google shakeup that's going to happen in this field.  Whatever they do, I bet it'll be cool and good for everyone.

• Google nabs aerial camera company | The Register

Look Ma, I Didn't Die.

Its amazing what men can accomplish then that little voice who lives in your head and warns you not to do stupid shit goes completely bat-shit-bonkers.  This guy "flew" from Oregon to Idaho using a bunch of balloons.  Mythbusters took this idea on a while ago and decided that it was feasible and very dangerous/stupid.  What could possess you with enough motivation to actually carry something like this out?  And even if nothing goes wrong, you're still that dude who flew a lawn chair to Idaho; at best a 20 second clip on the news and a slot in Guinness till the next wackjob steals a air canister from Applebee's.

(By the way I object semi-strenuously a the use of the term "fly" in this context.  I mean flight should deal with lift and air speed, not just buoyancy.  Otherwise I could claim that I fly sailboats all the time.  So, he floated to Idaho; which is still bonkers)

• Popular Science Blog - Man Flies from Oregon to Idaho Using Party Balloons

Like A Very Painful Shish-Kabob.

I'm not sure I'd want to take part in an activity where "groin trauma" is a significant statistic.  Slate has an article about getting gored by bulls, analyzing the probable vulnerable areas; real useful advice for the everyman.  Like most people in Pamplona are running from the bulls, so they get gored in the ass; which isn't such a bad place to take it.  (Haha, that's what she said)  But in bull fight scenarios, groin trauma accounts for 8% while 7% is perineal injury.  (go ahead and look that one up)  It all makes sense to me; if I were a pissed off bull, where would I gore people?  In the ass or balls, no contest.

• How bad is it to get gored by a bull? - By Michelle Tsai - Slate Magazine

Stop Following Me.

So, I'm pretty well moved in to my new house.  I actually got to spend the weekend in the city for the first time too and it was pretty awesome.  For the first time I understand why I've been driving farther to work for about a month now.  Speaking of which, you may remember a few months ago I was complaining about how they tore up 29 making my commute in a shiny new car literally painful.  Well, they wrapped that project up and the road is beautifully smooth now.  However, terribly ironically, about 2 days after I moved they ripped up Connecticut to resurface it, so I'm straight back to bumpy commuting hell.  I also had an interesting feeling this morning.  The speed limit on Conn is 30; there is photo enforcement, speed traps more often than not, and signs saying that the lights are synced for 30.  But people still drive a bit faster than that and I feel kinda like Chevy Chase just got fed up and put us all in "time out".  Fine if you can't use the road responsibly we'll take it away.  So now the traffic moves at more less 30 the whole way over what amounts to a dirt road with concrete shrapnel, dust clouds, 4 inch potholes and merciless road joints.  Super fun.

Check Out The Ego On That Cleaning Product.

I am naturally skeptical of any household product that is touted as having many more uses than its original intention.

windex
DW-40
baking soda

(I've found that duct tape sucks for holding duct work together so he gets a free pass for being good at everything else)

Pfff, baking soda... isn't that sposed to be for baking?  Oh, I can clean your hair and you vegetables and your toes and your skin.  Not to mention I'll take the funk out of your fridge and your shoes, smother your grease fire, and then win you kid's science fair with my volcanic fury.  I have never bought a box of this stuff and probably won't just because it thinks its better than me.

• Frugal For Life: Baking Soda Revisited

Like We Need Another Place To Surf.

You know how the bicycle is like the greatest invention because of its relative simplicity and effectiveness?  I thought there would be no major changes in bike design in the next 100 years.  I mean, automatic transmissions and chainless drive systems, sure, but those aren't screwing with the fundamentals.  Well check out this sideways bike from Ireland.  Its kinda like if a scooter, a bike and a unicycle had a terrible accident at the same time and blind monkeys tried to put them back together with their tails.  I'm not sure it'll quite replace the forward facing bike as standard, but at least people are thinking outside the box.

• Wired Blogs: Gadget Lab

Talk about turning the other cheek.

Next time someone robs you at gunpoint, don't get all flustered.  Just give him some wine and a hug.  It'll all be cool.  Makes me feel all warm and squishy about moving into the city.

• My Way News - Attempted Robbery Ends in Group Hug

Summer Time Is Fun Time.

Sorry, guys.  I know I'm a worthless sack of blogger, but there's just so much to be done.  I moved all my worldly possessions on July 1st and as of last night, have actually slept in my bed three times this month.  Moving is a pain in the rear, and I'm not even close to unpacked or done with all the paperwork yet.

I would like to posit this little nugget thought: I love my car.  I've been driving all manner of vehicle lately, a 24ft uhaul, a diesel jetta, an accord, a chrysler pacifica.  And obviously they all offer various driving experiences, but I have to honestly say that, unlike all these other specimen, I can't think of one thing I'd redesign on my car.  Oh, I guess the windows should roll down via the clicker, but that's not really a driving refinement.

Is There A 4th Of July On Mars?

Sure as shit, there is.
Also, I had a dog named Winston.  Seems like I should continue to name my pets off this chart, if only because its already written out for me.  I am lazy...

Month Naming Conventions	Anglicized Roman + additional arbitrary	Days
1st Month	January	31
2nd Month	February	31
3rd Month	March	31
4th Month	April	30
5th Month	May	31
6th Month	June	30
7th Month	July	31
8th Month	August	31
9th Month	September	30
10th Month	October	31
11th Month	November	30
12th Month	December	31
13th Month	Winston	30
14th Month	Niles	30
15th Month	Rumfoord	30
16th Month	Kazak	30
17th Month	Newport	30
18th Month	Chrono	30
19th Month	Synclastic	31
20th Month	Infundibulum	30
21st Month	Salo	30
22nd Month	Beatrice	30

• The Vonnegut Calendar at a Glance

I Don't Forward Things.

I got this in the email today and was actually amused by it despite the fact that it was a forward.  And I was actually tempted to pass it on; probably because they pandered to my ego telling me that 45% of the population wouldn't be able to read it.  But then I realized that I don't have to forward it, I'll just force it upon your impressionable minds...

Only great minds can read this:

                       This is weird, but  interesting!

                       fi yuo cna raed  tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too





                       Cna  yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.




                       i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod  aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan  mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr  in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht  the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl  mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the  huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.  Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can  raed tihs forwrad it

VA Begging People To Move Out Of State.

Virginia just instituted some CRAZY new traffic fines that levy taxes against offenders for about three years after an offense.  So just in case $2,500 and a year in jail wasn't enough of a disproportionate response to speeding, they're tacking on a $350 tax for three years.  Offer good while supplies last, only available to residents of Virginia. 

Translation: get the fuck out while you still can.

• Virginia's new $3,550 speeding ticket - MSN Money