Where's The Cheese?

Do not purchase Philadelphia cream cheese "Jammin' Swirls." You may say to yourself, standing in the cheese isle, "I like cream cheese, and I like fruit, so this is for me". Wrong. Don't be fooled by the image of fruit on the package, there are no blueberries within. And swirls? Ha! You want swirls, go look at a toilet. This is mostly a few pie pieces of cheese with some kind of blue flavored goop in between. The result is a fairly disgusting compote that you choke down because you paid four bucks for the privilege. I should be more skeptical of things that say "NEW!" on the box. I mean, "NEW!" isn't good. "NEW!" is untested; a maverick. "old." is way more exciting because its still on the market after all these years, so it must be good or people wouldn't buy it and no one would keep making it. Next time I'm at the shop, I'm gonna note how many products say "NEW!" on them and see if I can overpower the marketing cabal that's trained us to think newer is better.