"Mr. Infinity harnesses the power and flexibility of the .NET framework to combat the FEATURE CREEP..."Seriously?
I quite literally have no idea what to do with these.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Super... Something.
I just got some new software to install at work. All well and good but look what came in the box. Some type of Visual Basic super hero posters. Like big ass 4 by 4 posters.
I quite literally have no idea what to do with these.
I quite literally have no idea what to do with these.
So, You Like Matches Huh?
A child has admitted to starting one of the raging infernos in California. There is only one recourse. Water-board him. Find out who his arsonist pals are and which terrorist organization put him up to it. Then either bomb or water-board them. Forget "Only you can prevent forest fires" I've got a new slogan for Smokey. "Fight fire with water-boarding."
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
You Just Bite Him Right Back.
Hmmm... Dog bite prevention week? I don't think I do a very good job imagining how most dog bites go down. Maybe that's cause I like dogs and have never, to my recollection, had a bad experience with one. I spose that has to do with the kind of dogs I encounter and the experience I received as a child.
So I feel like the phrasing of this program is misleading. Its not the dogs' fault. They're not vicious wraiths hovering outside the window waiting for that first glimpse of flesh they can sink their teeth into. It should be more like "domestic animal interaction week". How not to screw with your dog and turn him into a canine psychopath, and how to approach and interact with other peoples' pets who are well cared-for, trained and loved.
.0002 percent of the 4.7 million Americans bitten by dogs die each year. That's 16 folks a year. Compare that with 20,000 that die from flu, 15,000 murders or 90 lightning deaths each year and I start to wonder why dog bites get a whole week. Seems like proportionally it should get about 10 and a half minutes if we spend a week trying to raise murder awareness. I mean, forget rules to prevent dogs from attacking, how about some guidelines to prevent a human from attacking me?
So I feel like the phrasing of this program is misleading. Its not the dogs' fault. They're not vicious wraiths hovering outside the window waiting for that first glimpse of flesh they can sink their teeth into. It should be more like "domestic animal interaction week". How not to screw with your dog and turn him into a canine psychopath, and how to approach and interact with other peoples' pets who are well cared-for, trained and loved.
.0002 percent of the 4.7 million Americans bitten by dogs die each year. That's 16 folks a year. Compare that with 20,000 that die from flu, 15,000 murders or 90 lightning deaths each year and I start to wonder why dog bites get a whole week. Seems like proportionally it should get about 10 and a half minutes if we spend a week trying to raise murder awareness. I mean, forget rules to prevent dogs from attacking, how about some guidelines to prevent a human from attacking me?
- Do not approach an unfamiliar [person].
- Do not run from a [person] and scream.
- Remain motionless (e.g., "be still like a tree") when approached by an unfamiliar [person].
- If knocked over by a [person], roll into a ball and lie still (e.g., "be still like a log").
- Do not play with a [person] unless supervised by an adult.
- Immediately report stray [people] or [people] displaying unusual behavior to an adult.
- Avoid direct eye contact with a [person].
- Do not disturb a [person] who is sleeping, eating, or caring for puppies.
- Do not pet a [person] without allowing it to see and sniff you first.
- If bitten, immediately report the bite to an adult.
Nice Job.
Researchers have found the longest lived animal on earth. Its a Quahog clam that has lived through 405 years of history. It died upon capture. Nice, you found the world's oldest animal and promptly killed it. That's gotta make your day. "There's probably many others that are actually quite older—we just haven't found them yet," [oh god I hope there are] Adding a very scientific "I think in my stomach if you start getting up around 600, then maybe that would be the maximum—but that's just pure speculation," Have you been talking to Stephen Colbert? I know I just discovered and destroyed the worlds oldest animal, but my gut tells me there are lots more where that came from. My gut also tells me they're delicious.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Rock My World.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Now That's Creative.
You may have seen these pictures of the McDonald's pizza around the internets. Also, maybe not. I have to admit, I wouldn't have thought of that. But I gotta say, 2 cheeseburgers, a pack of fries, and chicken nuggets baked into a pizza is the least disturbing thing about this picture. What the heck is with the gun and large stabby-type knife there? Is it "i'm taking this picture, I'd better make sure my weapons are in it"? Maybe he thinks the hamburgler is gonna burst in at any minute and swipe his pizza. Or maybe this dude just doesn't have any place to set something down that's not next to two killing tools. I dunno, but I gotta go get something to eat; and bake it into something else to eat.Friday, October 26, 2007
Just Squirt It Into My Mouth.
Yes, ez-cheese meets breakfast. I can't really begin to describe how disgusting I find this. Not the pancakes oozing out of a pressurized container part, but the absolute waste and laziness this product represents. If you can't crack an egg and pour some milk, you don't deserve pancakes. There's 8 pancakes in this conveniently disposable and landfilling container, as opposed to the about 300 servings found in a cardboard box of pancake mix. What's next, some kind of potted meat aerosol sausage machine? Please don't buy this. Go get some Eggos if you're too stupid/lazy to make pancakes from "scratch".
*Note: Actually making pancakes from scratch isn't really that hard, and using a premade mix is even easier. If you need to squirt them out of a can, I'm not sure you're gonna be able to handle the arduous tasks of flipping them over, pouring syrup from a bottle, and putting them into your mouth with a fork.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Happy.
All it takes to make me happy is to give me exactly what I want. And if you're lucky enough to have been told what makes me sad, it should be a cake walk to do the opposite. I knew having a blag would be advantageous. I mean, I assume Google read my sullen write up of their pop service and immediately started working on imap support. It took them a little over a month, but they're starting to roll out the capability. This is gonna kick ass on my Helio. *Smile* I love you too, Google.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
You've Gotta Lock That Down.
This is not an academic warning. There have been two incidences of SUVs at my work having their catalytic converters stolen from the parking lot. It must really suck to start up your monstrosity and realize that an integral piece of your exhaust system has been burgled. Of course I find it fairly amusing because my car sits so low to the ground that I can't even get my shoulder under it, let alone remove any parts. So while you can handle the urban jungle of potholes on Mass Ave better, I get twice the gas mileage and my junx don't get stole. Who's laughing now sucker?
I Like Yogurt. That's Something, Right?
I wouldn't go so far as to say that I hate yoga. I've never even tried it. But I don't dislike not yoga. And that's good enough for me. But I do dislike overly popular trends, a benchmark which yoga is ether quickly approaching or has scampered over the precipice of. All these hipsters with their fancy mats and special classes; 'oh, I'm so cool with my weird poses and complicated shoes.'
Of course with my luck, disliking yoga will become an overly popular trend and before I know what hit me I'll find myself in a downward dog wearing a unitard. Hott.
Of course with my luck, disliking yoga will become an overly popular trend and before I know what hit me I'll find myself in a downward dog wearing a unitard. Hott.
Chocozuma's Revenge.
Wow, this makes a lot of people seem much more reasonable to me. I eat chocolate. I have no problem with it. But it doesn't make my heart beat faster and I don't think about it when I don't have it. I have no preference between Skittles and M&M's. I like cheese cake better than chocolate cheese cake. There IS such a thing as too much chocolate; chocolate chip chocolate cookies for example.
So I seriously did not understand why some people seemed to go apeshit, pardon my french, over something so stellarly ordinary. But this preliminary study of the various (and differing) strains of bacteria living in peoples' stomachs sheds a bit of light. Some people actually do feel a basic drive to consume chocolate, while others simply don't. Huh. Sounds as plausible as any reason I can think of.
P.S. That cookie post was talking about Pepperidge Farm's Cranberry Oatmeal cookies. So no, its not evidence of irrational chocoholism.
So I seriously did not understand why some people seemed to go apeshit, pardon my french, over something so stellarly ordinary. But this preliminary study of the various (and differing) strains of bacteria living in peoples' stomachs sheds a bit of light. Some people actually do feel a basic drive to consume chocolate, while others simply don't. Huh. Sounds as plausible as any reason I can think of.
P.S. That cookie post was talking about Pepperidge Farm's Cranberry Oatmeal cookies. So no, its not evidence of irrational chocoholism.
Three Inch Fangs?
I'm pretty glad I don't live in a city where I have to worry about being thrown off a balcony by macaque monkeys. They're smaller than many species, but aggressive and roam through populated areas stealing and vandalizing. Mostly they've learned that people have food and can be intimidated out of it more easily than most animals.
I've never fought a monkey, but I like to think that I could scare off two of three of these things if I wanted to. Given access to a sturdy club, I'd raise that estimate to 5. Of course monkey bites seem like one of the less pleasant ways to get herpes B. So I guess it would depend on the type of food I was defending. This does make me want to learn some type of bare-handed self defense/ monkey fu, but I spose it would be simpler to just get a gun. And honestly if I thought there was a chance they'd actually take something good from me, I'd do my best to destroy it before they could. Note to self: get can of hairspray and lighter prior to visiting New Delhi.
I've never fought a monkey, but I like to think that I could scare off two of three of these things if I wanted to. Given access to a sturdy club, I'd raise that estimate to 5. Of course monkey bites seem like one of the less pleasant ways to get herpes B. So I guess it would depend on the type of food I was defending. This does make me want to learn some type of bare-handed self defense/ monkey fu, but I spose it would be simpler to just get a gun. And honestly if I thought there was a chance they'd actually take something good from me, I'd do my best to destroy it before they could. Note to self: get can of hairspray and lighter prior to visiting New Delhi.
Cookie Monster.
Pepperidge Farm cookies are such a scam. There's only eight of those things in a box. How is that enough cookies for anyone? I mean, sure if they were bigger than normal cookies that might pass. But these things are even on the small size of the cookie scale. Damn you Pepperidge Farm!
No Puffters.
I love the smoking ban in DC. I find that my quality of life is greatly improved by limiting that of others. And I'm fine with that. Mostly its about not having smoke permeate every fiber and pore on me. Makes me a happy camper and keeps my clothes hamper smelling like BO instead of tar and cancer.
Well, the first exception to the ban has been granted just around the corner at Aroma. Which always seemed like an odd name for a martini bar to me. Apparently it is a cigar bar, and with the ban in place they took a large enough hit that they qualified for a hardship exemption. Now, I certainly understand wanting your customers to be able to enjoy the products you sell, but I can't help thinking this is gonna draw in the smokers from all over the city. I don't really mind if they want to hot box that place. I've been to Aroma. It sucks. I'm worried about all those future health care liabilities spilling out across the sidewalk and trashing up my neighborhood with their butts.
But don't confuse me with those NIMBY whiners. I don't even have a back yard. And I wish people would stop smoking everywhere. Honestly that's the largest drawback to universal health care that I can think of. Morons exposing themselves to a notorious and venomous carcinogen, who will eventually want to be cured of their self-inflicted and wholly preventable malady.
Well, the first exception to the ban has been granted just around the corner at Aroma. Which always seemed like an odd name for a martini bar to me. Apparently it is a cigar bar, and with the ban in place they took a large enough hit that they qualified for a hardship exemption. Now, I certainly understand wanting your customers to be able to enjoy the products you sell, but I can't help thinking this is gonna draw in the smokers from all over the city. I don't really mind if they want to hot box that place. I've been to Aroma. It sucks. I'm worried about all those future health care liabilities spilling out across the sidewalk and trashing up my neighborhood with their butts.
But don't confuse me with those NIMBY whiners. I don't even have a back yard. And I wish people would stop smoking everywhere. Honestly that's the largest drawback to universal health care that I can think of. Morons exposing themselves to a notorious and venomous carcinogen, who will eventually want to be cured of their self-inflicted and wholly preventable malady.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Everyone Is Idiots But Me.
Why the hell can't I buy razor blades any more? Every store I look in has a space set aside for all the different styles and brands of blades, but all the shelves are empty. And it pisses me off. No, I'm not going to ask someone for help or head to the counter and wait in line to request them like I'm buying illegal fireworks at the 7-11. Its little pieces of metal with little pieces of plastic that people throw away after 4 days. I understand that they're expensive and small and might be a higher shoplifting threat. But if your precautions preempt people who actually want to pay the ridiculous amount you're asking you need to rethink the system. The result is that I've used the same cartridge for the past 6 weeks and shaved more and more infrequently. I failed again today to legally obtain even the most rudimentary face scraping device. So I'm gonna have to start evaluating my other options.
- Grow a beard and trim it with clippers (a set of which is ironically cheaper than the 8 pack of disposable Gillette Fusion blades.)
- Use the power of my impressive cognitive ability to convince the hair follicles on my face that they do not need to insulate that portion of my body
- Start shaving with utility knives from Home Depot.
- Buy yet another electric razor and use it for the recommended month to let my face adjust to the irritation before giving it up because I can't stand the pain of even blunt objects against my red, ragged, poorly shaven cheek and neck.
- Break into people's houses and steal their shaving supplies. (optionally, replace their lightly used supplies with my heavily used supplies)
- Investigate the various waxing options in the ladies' hair removal aisle. (shudder)
- Order them online from Amazon where I'll be forced to also buy a DVD by my complete lack of self-control.
Look At That S Car Go!
I'll be damned if I get overrun by a bunch of snails. Giant African Snails were brought to Brazil as a new delicacy, but now they think they own the place. The gastronomical trend didn't catch on as well as entrepreneurs had hoped, mostly cause few people in Brazil eat snails to begin with. Now they're an invasive species, inflating the rat and pest populations and displacing other local niches. Nothing we can do about it? Bullshit.
Humans can eat a species right into extinction, even by accident. So don't tell me we can't handle a bunch of tasty animals that we're trying to eradicate. Granted, they are giant snails so you're gonna be pretty full. But If everyone would just pitch in I'm sure we could get this done.
P.S. Don't click to the second page of the article that details possible pathogens and worms that snails can carry. It'll seriously kill your escargot jones.
Humans can eat a species right into extinction, even by accident. So don't tell me we can't handle a bunch of tasty animals that we're trying to eradicate. Granted, they are giant snails so you're gonna be pretty full. But If everyone would just pitch in I'm sure we could get this done.
P.S. Don't click to the second page of the article that details possible pathogens and worms that snails can carry. It'll seriously kill your escargot jones.
Fight Or Flight...
Friday, October 19, 2007
Flea Lice.
I'm not really sure where they're getting all this rice, but this is a fun little vocabulary game. You pick the correct synonym and they give ten grains of rice to... well someone who wants rice. The difficulty level is self adjusting, which means I get to a level where the words are challenging but I know them. Then I pass that level because I can figure out the ones I don't know. Then I pass the next level because I can take pretty good guesses. Then at the next level I'm not even sure we're still in English any more and I plummet back down to where I actually know the words. Still pretty fun and self-aggrandizing.
Warning: do not click this link if you like to think you're smart but have other stuff to do. You won't be back for a while.
Warning: do not click this link if you like to think you're smart but have other stuff to do. You won't be back for a while.
Illegal Public Non-Performance.
You know you can't just play TV and radio to the world. An auto shop recently got caught playing personal music loud enough that their customers could hear it, which is apparently a public performance. Well, this time the defendant did license the TV content they were playing in truck stops, but they've got this kickass system that replaces standard commercials with their own, trucker targeted ads. Understandably, the Networks don't like that too much, as their advertisers are getting a little screwed.
However I really don't think the judge who ruled in their favor did the right thing. Essentially they're legally hosting a public performance and changing the channel when commercials come on. So suing for copyright infringement seems a little off. How can it be copyright infringement to NOT publicly display someone's work? Just cause you don't like something doesn't make it illegal.
Lets hope this ruling gets capsized in appeal lest big media start to think they have control over what we watch. Pretty soon there'll be no talking, blinking, or going to the bathroom during commercials either. Heck, I'm not watching ads right now, I hope none of the executives at ABC find out about it. I could find myself in the middle of a copyright lawsuit.
However I really don't think the judge who ruled in their favor did the right thing. Essentially they're legally hosting a public performance and changing the channel when commercials come on. So suing for copyright infringement seems a little off. How can it be copyright infringement to NOT publicly display someone's work? Just cause you don't like something doesn't make it illegal.
Lets hope this ruling gets capsized in appeal lest big media start to think they have control over what we watch. Pretty soon there'll be no talking, blinking, or going to the bathroom during commercials either. Heck, I'm not watching ads right now, I hope none of the executives at ABC find out about it. I could find myself in the middle of a copyright lawsuit.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Bullet In Your Bubblegoose.
Strange Maps is kinda like Damn Interesting for maps. They've got lots of strange but true type content like this nubbin on Kentucky that is surrounded by Missouri and Tennessee. Of course they've also got odd-ball fantasy maps like Russia's third empire and how drunk Japanese see America. But no matter the content, they've got a wealth of knowledge and a hearty explanation of the visual aids. Go ahead and check some of them out.
Oh, and I thought of a slogan for the map industry to use in their ad campaign. You know, like how milk and cheese decided to start promoting the concepts of milk and cheese? Well if the map lobby ever gets its act together, they can go with:
Oh, and I thought of a slogan for the map industry to use in their ad campaign. You know, like how milk and cheese decided to start promoting the concepts of milk and cheese? Well if the map lobby ever gets its act together, they can go with:
Maps are where its at.
Muwahahaha.
Yes, that's my evil mad scientist laugh, which means something devious is going tremendously. My sophomore year of college I put a plan in motion so diabolical, so gooily genius filled and circuitous that not even Dr Honeydew could have conceived it. I took as many of those free AOL discs as possible and I never once signed up for service from those punks. I taped them to my walls, I used them as coasters, I played Frisbee golf with them, the list goes on. The main point of this was to make their shotgun style marketing campaign and "free" "internet" service as unprofitable as possible.
Yes, it took several years and various other factors to help parlay my gambit, but at last the downfall is coming to a head. AOL no longer deems its ISP business as a viable tool and is trying to focus on its "Services." Laughable, since the only reason people used to use their "services" was because they didn't know any better. Now that people have to enter the walled garden on purpose instead to starting there by default, AOL is finding out that lots of other companies are already filling the nich they hope to provide. Well, darn. I guess maybe you could take another look at you business model, and recede a little further into the darkness while you're at it. America doesn't need America Online and we're starting to realize it.
Yes, it took several years and various other factors to help parlay my gambit, but at last the downfall is coming to a head. AOL no longer deems its ISP business as a viable tool and is trying to focus on its "Services." Laughable, since the only reason people used to use their "services" was because they didn't know any better. Now that people have to enter the walled garden on purpose instead to starting there by default, AOL is finding out that lots of other companies are already filling the nich they hope to provide. Well, darn. I guess maybe you could take another look at you business model, and recede a little further into the darkness while you're at it. America doesn't need America Online and we're starting to realize it.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
ARH SEE ENN!
Son of a whale nipple. I was waiting around last night for my Tivo to tape Heroes so I could watch it with no commercials. (yeah, I like superheroes, big deal. Wanna fight about it?) But, horrifically, when I flipped the TV on there was no new episode in my list. Shock. I switched over to my roommate's Tivo (yeah we have two tivos, big whoop. Wanna fight about it?) and his Tivo hadn't recorded it either. Horror. Skip over to live TV and I find nothing at all coming through the pipe. Agast. So the cable is out and my show wasn't taped. Except everything else I wanted recorded that day came in just fine. Turns out all the other channels come in fine, its just NBC that has crapped out. I know, that doesn't make any sense; but equally vexing, NBC has been the only channel that consistently comes in terribly over cable. WTF?
So I emailed RCN cable and they got back to me with a phone number to call and a series of buttons to press on the handset that's sposed to do a reset. I personally don't get how that's gonna work and why the dude can't just call the number and press the buttons for me. Anyway, I went on Amazon and threw down the two bucks for that episode of Heroes on Unbox. So it'll be waiting for me on my Tivo when I get home tonight. Course, if I'm gonna end up paying (you know, besides the cable channel I'm paying for) to watch my NBC TV shows I'm just gonna stop watching and buy the DVDs when they come out. I don't know what I'd do with a Tivo full of content I actually paid for and don't want to delete.
So I emailed RCN cable and they got back to me with a phone number to call and a series of buttons to press on the handset that's sposed to do a reset. I personally don't get how that's gonna work and why the dude can't just call the number and press the buttons for me. Anyway, I went on Amazon and threw down the two bucks for that episode of Heroes on Unbox. So it'll be waiting for me on my Tivo when I get home tonight. Course, if I'm gonna end up paying (you know, besides the cable channel I'm paying for) to watch my NBC TV shows I'm just gonna stop watching and buy the DVDs when they come out. I don't know what I'd do with a Tivo full of content I actually paid for and don't want to delete.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Suck On This.
I'd like you to imagine a lollipop for adults. Ok, got a picture in your head? If you're imagining a stainless steel disc on a keychain, congratulations. You win. If you were thinking of something else you lose.
Apparently sucking on the Zilopop is sposed to eliminate the smelly gunk living in your mouth. But somehow I think it would be strangely like licking the handrails on the metro.
Apparently sucking on the Zilopop is sposed to eliminate the smelly gunk living in your mouth. But somehow I think it would be strangely like licking the handrails on the metro.
Idiot Scooter.
I was dropping some folk at the airport yesterday. It wasn't terribly busy at the terminal, but there were a few cars already at the curb when I pulled up. There was a spot in front of an SUV and in back of a handicap marked area, so I pulled around and was about to back in when I noticed the driver in the spot in front of me get into the car and prepare to leave. So I waited a couple of seconds to see if I could just pull forward to park. Just then a cop on a segway wheels up on the curb and he's looking at me while he says something, but I can't hear from there with my windows up. So he wheels down the handicap curb-cut in front of my car and over to my window. I would have backed into the space behind me by this point, but now I'm not even gonna put my car in gear with this guy scooting around me. I roll my window down and he says "First of all you're not a handicapped." I resisted the urge to say something like "I'm sorry, are you?" and told him "I know, I was about to back into that space (gesturing behind) when I saw the car in front of me was about to leave (gesturing ahead)" He seemed pretty put out, and maintained "you can't park here" while I responded "OK" trying my best to keep the "you stupid sack of crap" inflection from my voice. He teetered there for a couple seconds while I waited with my eyebrows slightly raised. I'm not sure if he was waiting for me to say something else or move the car, but then he wheeled back over to the curb and up the tiny ramp to continue whatever it is you do at an airport on a segway. I parked the car not in a handicapped spot once he was gone.
So maybe you already can see where I'm going with this. Why the hell is that dude on a segway? Yeah, I guess he saved a couple of steps, but he was still standing the whole time. How much more relaxing is standing than walking? And didn't it cost like ten grand to buy that thing, not to mention the power it takes to charge and operate it? And why is it a good idea to have him interacting with cars? I just don't understand at all. Anybody else been in a car with a segway nearby? I don't like driving too near motorcycles for fear of something going wrong, but I flat-out refused to operate the car with that thing ever near me. Its kinda like when there's a puppy or toddler in the parking lot and you know in your gut that the car shouldn't move till his mommy comes and picks him up.
So maybe you already can see where I'm going with this. Why the hell is that dude on a segway? Yeah, I guess he saved a couple of steps, but he was still standing the whole time. How much more relaxing is standing than walking? And didn't it cost like ten grand to buy that thing, not to mention the power it takes to charge and operate it? And why is it a good idea to have him interacting with cars? I just don't understand at all. Anybody else been in a car with a segway nearby? I don't like driving too near motorcycles for fear of something going wrong, but I flat-out refused to operate the car with that thing ever near me. Its kinda like when there's a puppy or toddler in the parking lot and you know in your gut that the car shouldn't move till his mommy comes and picks him up.
NO GODDAMN TAKEBACKS.
Larry Craig either still believes he is in 3rd grade or is not acquainted with playground etiquette of the more trustworthy and sophisticated 7th grader. I know not many middle-schoolers get arrested in airport bathrooms for soliciting gay sex from police officers, but they understand the concepts of no "takebacks", "not-it", and "touched it last". Craig, I'm still kinda pissed that you think you can just take a resignation off the table, and now you think you can just ask everyone to forget you entered a guilty plea? Seriously, its not even about whether you're a hypocritical self-hating homosexual any more. Remember the days when people would resign in disgrace and actually stay resigned? Lookit, you traded your cupcake for a box of raisins. No one is quite sure why you did it, but we all know you're not allowed to change your mind after the deal..
Hott Maps
Google is adding higher resolution images to their map services all the time. Normally you wouldn't notice so much unless you happen to have an interest in the area that was updated, and even then you might find yourself saying "is this better than it used to be?" "I think it is" "I dunno". Well, you can definitely tell for these images that require a few more notches on the zoom bar. I can't wait till this is a global standard and not just a patchwork coverage. Friday, October 12, 2007
Winter Again?
This might be self-congratulatory but I was just looking up Daily Placebo in the Internet Archive and I ran across my list of things about winter. It seems strangely apropos as today I woke up freezing and wore a jacket out of the house for the first time since like March. So without further adeu, the Daily Placebo list of reasons Winter sucks/rocks from 2005. (Which is, strangely enough, still all true today)
Bad things about winter
- Blinding cold
- Dry air
- Car shocks the bejezus out of me
- Dark all the time
Good things about winter
- More Pockets
- People wear stupid hats
- Footage of people slipping and falling on the news
Wind-up cars.
Well, I guess not technically wind up cars, those are spring based. But you know those ones what you push forward on the floor a few times and the "zzzzz, zzzz ZZZZZ"? No not sleeping cars. What kinda sucky toys did you have as a kid? Flywheel powered cars.
Flywheels are an excellent energy storage device -battery- when coupled with modern techniques like magnetic bearings, vacuum enclosures and carbon fiber materials. Which means we could start using them for all sorts of uses in place of traditional chemical batteries. Especially now that we're focusing on harnessing inconsistent energy sources like solar and wind. It gets especially cool when you think about using them in space because aside from storing energy, they can be used as gyroscopes to control craft orientation.
So if you will, imagine a car with an electric motor and a flywheel battery. The carbon fiber wheel was charged up days ago to hundreds of thousands of rpm and is sapped little by little to propel the car. You could even use regenerative braking to recoup some of the losses back into the dynamo. Sure there are still a few things to work out like that whole powerful gyroscope in your trunk thing and the random "kinetic energy of a military tank traveling at highway speed" escaping in unintended directions. But hey, I've heard of worse ideas. Like purple ketchup, what the hell was going on there?
Flywheels are an excellent energy storage device -battery- when coupled with modern techniques like magnetic bearings, vacuum enclosures and carbon fiber materials. Which means we could start using them for all sorts of uses in place of traditional chemical batteries. Especially now that we're focusing on harnessing inconsistent energy sources like solar and wind. It gets especially cool when you think about using them in space because aside from storing energy, they can be used as gyroscopes to control craft orientation.
So if you will, imagine a car with an electric motor and a flywheel battery. The carbon fiber wheel was charged up days ago to hundreds of thousands of rpm and is sapped little by little to propel the car. You could even use regenerative braking to recoup some of the losses back into the dynamo. Sure there are still a few things to work out like that whole powerful gyroscope in your trunk thing and the random "kinetic energy of a military tank traveling at highway speed" escaping in unintended directions. But hey, I've heard of worse ideas. Like purple ketchup, what the hell was going on there?
Not Suicide.
Self -execution. I read though the oral arguments of Medellin V. Texas. The argument is basically whether the treaty is self-executing. If it is, then no one needs to tell the state court to do anything besides the IJC as they have been given authority by the Senate and President in the Optional Protocol. The President's subsequent actions were inconsequential. If it is not self-executing, then Congress (not just George with a memo) would need to pass a law ordering the court to submit to review.
Perhaps it's unconstitutional for the President and Senate to submit to the jurisdiction of an international court to begin with. On P 56 Justice Scalia tries to explain why self-executing international decisions would be unconstitutional. The Supreme court doesn't like the idea that the treaty could be self-executing as they think it might infringe on the sovereignty of their court. I don't think that's true, as the Constitution defines the Supreme Court in Article III, and as stated before, I read the supremacy clause to rank the Constitution over treaties. The Court's power is safe.
In my opinion, submitting to the Optional Protocol does give the IJC jurisdiction and makes the treaty henceforth self-executing; however doing so may violate the Constitution, and so was not a legal course. The Senate would have had to "promise" to enact the judgment of the IJC after its verdict, but could not hand the reigns of government over to an international body. Of course then you have to ask, what is the point of submitting to a final arbiter if, after the judgment is received the losing party can say "nope, I don't accept that decision". Which we would have to do if a finding was ever passed down that was deemed unconstitutional.
Congress may pass a law to conform to its international obligation, but if that law was struck down as Unconstitutional by the Supreme Court, the United States would have no option but to return to the UN and say "we are in non-compliance and cannot comply with the will of the IJC as we are bound to do. Please refer us to the UN Security Counsel for appropriate reprimand" So we are, in actuality, unable to submit to the Optional Protocol, except to say that we will pay some consequence should we lose, but not necessarily the reparation the ICJ deems appropriate. A prospect that I would find unacceptable as an arbiter.
For me, I then comes down to a question of why we want to submit at all. Well, we do it because we'd like other people to do it. No one wants to play with the kid on the playground who keeps making up his own rules when he's losing. And I don't think we can afford to set the precedent to ignore the ICJ. At the same time I'm not sure how the Court would side with Medellin or the United States at this point. So I guess I'm hoping they side with Texas (gasp) and we go take our lashes from the Security Council. Because:
Don't worry, this isn't turning into the Bob Loblaw Law Blog, I'll find some wacky shtuff to write about soon.
Perhaps it's unconstitutional for the President and Senate to submit to the jurisdiction of an international court to begin with. On P 56 Justice Scalia tries to explain why self-executing international decisions would be unconstitutional. The Supreme court doesn't like the idea that the treaty could be self-executing as they think it might infringe on the sovereignty of their court. I don't think that's true, as the Constitution defines the Supreme Court in Article III, and as stated before, I read the supremacy clause to rank the Constitution over treaties. The Court's power is safe.
In my opinion, submitting to the Optional Protocol does give the IJC jurisdiction and makes the treaty henceforth self-executing; however doing so may violate the Constitution, and so was not a legal course. The Senate would have had to "promise" to enact the judgment of the IJC after its verdict, but could not hand the reigns of government over to an international body. Of course then you have to ask, what is the point of submitting to a final arbiter if, after the judgment is received the losing party can say "nope, I don't accept that decision". Which we would have to do if a finding was ever passed down that was deemed unconstitutional.
Congress may pass a law to conform to its international obligation, but if that law was struck down as Unconstitutional by the Supreme Court, the United States would have no option but to return to the UN and say "we are in non-compliance and cannot comply with the will of the IJC as we are bound to do. Please refer us to the UN Security Counsel for appropriate reprimand" So we are, in actuality, unable to submit to the Optional Protocol, except to say that we will pay some consequence should we lose, but not necessarily the reparation the ICJ deems appropriate. A prospect that I would find unacceptable as an arbiter.
For me, I then comes down to a question of why we want to submit at all. Well, we do it because we'd like other people to do it. No one wants to play with the kid on the playground who keeps making up his own rules when he's losing. And I don't think we can afford to set the precedent to ignore the ICJ. At the same time I'm not sure how the Court would side with Medellin or the United States at this point. So I guess I'm hoping they side with Texas (gasp) and we go take our lashes from the Security Council. Because:
- Bush can't make laws by scribbling love notes to Gonzales.
- Congress hasn't passed a law forcing Texas to comply.
- The Treaty isn't self-executing because the United States is constitutionally unable to enter into self-executing international arbitration.
Don't worry, this isn't turning into the Bob Loblaw Law Blog, I'll find some wacky shtuff to write about soon.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
In Too Deep.
Ok, I've been doing some reading to try and get a better opinion on this whole Medellin V. Texas thing. And it seems to me that the Supremacy Clause spells out pretty clearly what should happen.
1) Constitution
2) Congressional Laws
3) Treaties
4) Whatever laws the states want to pass
Boom-bam, Congress ratified the UN Charter , and the judges of Texas are bound by the decisions of its court. So technically the International Court of Justice has jurisdiction over US States when various conditions are met in a case so long as the decision doesn't violate the constitution. Treaties before States. Of course that might give you the heeby-jeebies, and for good reason. Treaties overriding local laws could give a bit more power to a certain parties than we'd like to think about. (Like with Missouri V. Holland wherein Congress restricted migratory bird hunting, was sued by states and lost since the Constitution did not explicitly list this in its powers. A quick trip to the UK and Congress enacts basically the same thing, this time with a treaty under its arm and the legislation stands as part of Congress's Constitutional duties. The states can't even contest it because they lack judicial review over treaties. Yikes.) Luckily George jumped up and highlighted these fears perfectly by ordering the state courts to comply with the treaty. George, you don't get to tell them what to do. The Constitution gets to tell them what to do. It works that way for you too, so maybe instead of just ordering the things you want happen, why don't you spend some time thinking about what you're allowed to make happen.
Its kinda like a child in the grocery demanding his mother buy a certain product because it contains a race car prize. Oddly enough, the mother discovers that its actually the most healthy and cost effective choice, and would have purchased it without the child's protestations. But now you run the risk of giving a minor the impression that he has some type of sway over the actions of adults, despite the fact that he really had no effect other than casting doubt on the proper course of action.
The trouble is how to rule on the legal side, with the catch 22 of Bush's ill-conceived dictum lurking in the shadows. But I'm sure they're gonna pull out some kinda legal-ninja-fu that I will never understand out of a bookcase thicker than a redwood. After all, they are the Supreme Court; and that doesn't just mean "Law with sour cream".
"This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding."As was stated in the Slate article, Souter brings up an excellent point. This clause of the Constitution not only asserts the document's supreme authority, but grants authority of international treaties over state judges.
1) Constitution
2) Congressional Laws
3) Treaties
4) Whatever laws the states want to pass
Boom-bam, Congress ratified the UN Charter , and the judges of Texas are bound by the decisions of its court. So technically the International Court of Justice has jurisdiction over US States when various conditions are met in a case so long as the decision doesn't violate the constitution. Treaties before States. Of course that might give you the heeby-jeebies, and for good reason. Treaties overriding local laws could give a bit more power to a certain parties than we'd like to think about. (Like with Missouri V. Holland wherein Congress restricted migratory bird hunting, was sued by states and lost since the Constitution did not explicitly list this in its powers. A quick trip to the UK and Congress enacts basically the same thing, this time with a treaty under its arm and the legislation stands as part of Congress's Constitutional duties. The states can't even contest it because they lack judicial review over treaties. Yikes.) Luckily George jumped up and highlighted these fears perfectly by ordering the state courts to comply with the treaty. George, you don't get to tell them what to do. The Constitution gets to tell them what to do. It works that way for you too, so maybe instead of just ordering the things you want happen, why don't you spend some time thinking about what you're allowed to make happen.
Its kinda like a child in the grocery demanding his mother buy a certain product because it contains a race car prize. Oddly enough, the mother discovers that its actually the most healthy and cost effective choice, and would have purchased it without the child's protestations. But now you run the risk of giving a minor the impression that he has some type of sway over the actions of adults, despite the fact that he really had no effect other than casting doubt on the proper course of action.
The trouble is how to rule on the legal side, with the catch 22 of Bush's ill-conceived dictum lurking in the shadows. But I'm sure they're gonna pull out some kinda legal-ninja-fu that I will never understand out of a bookcase thicker than a redwood. After all, they are the Supreme Court; and that doesn't just mean "Law with sour cream".
The Freckas Continues.
The ICJ + Bush Vs Texas + Ole Sparky debate wages on in the Supreme Court. This Slate article does a great job at explaining the various sides and forces at play here. And I've got to agree, its really tough to root for anyone here. Either Texas gets to Kill another terrible man, and in the process ignores an international human rights agreement, or Bush and an admitted rapist/murderer get to mandate laws on cocktail napkins forcing his imperial authority onto separate arms of government. Rough.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Sorry, but isn't this kind like branding cows wit
I Rule You.
Here's an interesting case. A Mexican was tried, confessed and sentenced in Texas for murder, but never informed of his right to Mexican consulate assistance. Mexico has since filed suit in the International Justice Court which resulted in Texas being ordered to submit to a review of this and 50 other similar cases.
Here's the rub: Texas doesn't want to. Not really a big surprise since Texas is widely known to not like being messed with. Oddly though, former emperor of Texas, President Bush has actually sided with the ICJ, issuing a memorandum as such. Its kind of an odd agreement, since the court only has jurisdiction in cases where the involved parties provide consent.
So in this case, the US Federal Government has consented to jurisdiction and the court's ruling should stand. However the State of Texas has not technically signed on to this international treaty (what states do?) and not provided consent. And while states are commonly seen as subordinate to the Federal Government (mostly at the threat of withheld funding) no one's actually sure if Texas needs to listen to the President in a state presided murder case. Which could put the President in the awkward position of being powerless to enforce an agreement he entered into.
Wait wait, I know what you're thinking. Since when does Bush care what the rest of the world thinks concerning American aggression, detention, preemption or retribution? I could have sworn his foreign policy consisted of a great big "Screw All 'Yall" sign in the rose garden. Well don't worry cause Bush withdrew us from the part of the agreement that gives the ICJ power over claims of foreign prisoners who were illegally denied access to diplomats.
So while we're waiting for the Supreme Court to get back to us and decide if Bush is still the boss of Texas, we can rest assured that no wimpy international justice agency will be handing out any more decisions about our prisoners. Good thing too, cause I'm pretty sure there are a bunch who haven't exactly been given fair access to representation.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
The Tom Sawyer Retirement Package.
I didn't get this at first. Why would you buy a condo on a barge that floats up and down the rivers in the heartland of America? I mean, yeah its great traveling from city to city on vacation or something, but who could live that way? You'd drive home from work to a different place every day. Where would you park? And what if you forgot the schedule? Seemed like a kooky idea; then I read the part about it being for retirees.
Oh. That makes a lot more sense and knocks out most of my commuting arguments. But still, I get the image of reckless retirees roving the inner coastal waterways of the US. Harassing tug and paddle boat drivers. Loitering around convienience stores, playing craps for pennies and decimating the salad bars at Howard Johnsons all over the midwest. Like a swarm of locust they'd move from one city to the next disgorging from their party yachts directly into the prime, unsuspecting downtown shopping districts of the heartland.
Alright, fine, maybe my imagination is a little active. But I'm still glad they're not running these things up the Anacostia. There'd be lawn bowling and checkers squatters all over my ultimate fields. And I have no idea what we could do about it.
Oh. That makes a lot more sense and knocks out most of my commuting arguments. But still, I get the image of reckless retirees roving the inner coastal waterways of the US. Harassing tug and paddle boat drivers. Loitering around convienience stores, playing craps for pennies and decimating the salad bars at Howard Johnsons all over the midwest. Like a swarm of locust they'd move from one city to the next disgorging from their party yachts directly into the prime, unsuspecting downtown shopping districts of the heartland.
Alright, fine, maybe my imagination is a little active. But I'm still glad they're not running these things up the Anacostia. There'd be lawn bowling and checkers squatters all over my ultimate fields. And I have no idea what we could do about it.
Don't Knock It Till You Try It.
So some goofballs turned off the California state domain the other day, which is silly. But its even sillier that it took them so long to turn it back on after it happened. TechDirt, who I normally follow unquestioningly said:
I'm not trying to defend anyone here (well maybe myself) but back off. 3pm is a perfectly acceptable quitting time. It just means that I'm warming up my desk chair while you're still snoozing at 4 in the morning. And by the time you stumble out of the Starbucks with a nonfat-extra-caf-I-don't-care-achino I'm fightin off a post-lunch power nap.
What you really have a problem with is inept service, and while I wouldn't endorse it, I can certainly understand how someone who could accidentally disable and entire domain and leave work wouldn't be available for contact at all hours as his contract most likely stipulates. Some industries have more leeway in response time, while tech service does not. Yes, someone should have been able to handle the request nearly immediately, but don't rail about 3pm just cause of some staffing issues.
"Apparently, it happened around noon Pacific Time which is 3pm back on the east coast. Sure, I can understand time zone differences... but 3pm isn't exactly quitting time."
I'm not trying to defend anyone here (well maybe myself) but back off. 3pm is a perfectly acceptable quitting time. It just means that I'm warming up my desk chair while you're still snoozing at 4 in the morning. And by the time you stumble out of the Starbucks with a nonfat-extra-caf-I-don't-care-achino I'm fightin off a post-lunch power nap.
What you really have a problem with is inept service, and while I wouldn't endorse it, I can certainly understand how someone who could accidentally disable and entire domain and leave work wouldn't be available for contact at all hours as his contract most likely stipulates. Some industries have more leeway in response time, while tech service does not. Yes, someone should have been able to handle the request nearly immediately, but don't rail about 3pm just cause of some staffing issues.
Under The Glow Of Surveillance.
I gotta say, when I first heard about this I wasn't wild about the idea. And it hasn't grown on me. DC Area commuters are set to be scanned by flesh sensing cameras next year. See, they're opening up new express lanes that can be used by car-poolers for free and by single riders for a fee. The only trouble is figuring out which is which and charging the toll without slowing down traffic.
So that seems like a good idea at first, more lanes that move faster for those that want to pay for it. Except if you realize that we already have a whole bunch of HOV lanes around the city. These new HOT lanes are just a way for people who are too lazy or self centered for carpooling to get in on the action.
So the locals are contracting out for new technology because enforcing this by hand apparently won't work. The cameras differentiate between skin and upholstery using infrared beams as the cars speed past, charging drivers without enough riders. Hello invasion of privacy. I know perhaps using HOT lanes is a privilege and you have to give up certain things for that, but using roads at all is a privilege. How long before there are all kind of invasive devices monitoring your movements? And yes, innocent people have nothing to worry about, the same rhetoric can be posited for all invasion of privacy concerns. And just like in all the other cases, its really about abuse of information and the slow erosion of rights. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance; not (as George Bush would have you believe) by the government, but from the government.
But never-mind all that. You guys are about to flush a bunch of money down the toilet to pay for these cameras so that you can start making money with HOT lanes. Wouldn't you make a lot more cash if you just left out the cameras? Here's a couple alternatives that don't involve peeping at me with infrared.
So that seems like a good idea at first, more lanes that move faster for those that want to pay for it. Except if you realize that we already have a whole bunch of HOV lanes around the city. These new HOT lanes are just a way for people who are too lazy or self centered for carpooling to get in on the action.
So the locals are contracting out for new technology because enforcing this by hand apparently won't work. The cameras differentiate between skin and upholstery using infrared beams as the cars speed past, charging drivers without enough riders. Hello invasion of privacy. I know perhaps using HOT lanes is a privilege and you have to give up certain things for that, but using roads at all is a privilege. How long before there are all kind of invasive devices monitoring your movements? And yes, innocent people have nothing to worry about, the same rhetoric can be posited for all invasion of privacy concerns. And just like in all the other cases, its really about abuse of information and the slow erosion of rights. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance; not (as George Bush would have you believe) by the government, but from the government.
But never-mind all that. You guys are about to flush a bunch of money down the toilet to pay for these cameras so that you can start making money with HOT lanes. Wouldn't you make a lot more cash if you just left out the cameras? Here's a couple alternatives that don't involve peeping at me with infrared.
- Don't allow individual drivers to use HOT lanes. Then when someone gets pulled over they pay $100 for the infraction. You only have to identify 1 out of every 100 single driver cars to make up for not charging them. This also keeps the pressure on people to carpool, reducing the number of vehicles you have to accommodate anyway.
- Charge car-poolers for using HOT lanes just like everyone else. They can split the fees amongst each other, its still the same price per car, or you can arrange some incentive program whereby they can get reimbursed after proving they actually run a carpool.
NASA Gets Competitive.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Bring The Pain.
Ok, so I dunno if you watch the office, but chances are that you do because you're cool. I mean, I assume you're cool. You're here after all, right? Anyway a couple weeks ago NBC launched an office participation site called Dunder Mifflin Infinity. Its part of a new corporate strategy implemented by Ryan on the show. Basically you join a branch and participate in weekly tasks for the long-shot chance at some office swag. So anyway I've been trying to do this but honestly I'm not sure I can any more.
I'm starting to think its on purpose, but this site is terrible. Half the links don't work, they just say "coming soon" and the ones that do work mostly seem pointless. You create a "profile" that consists of a picture, your favorite character and a quote. There is a message board for each branch, but no way to group conversations. So everyone is basically making random comments with no continuity at all. Also the tasks SUCK. The first week the task was to design your branch logo. You had to use the "Dunder Mifflin" text, the infinity symbol and you also had to use their crappy graphics web app. This meant that you could rotate, resize and drag shapes onto the canvas. Are you serious? How interesting of a logo are you gonna get if all I can do is turn the text upside down and drop a red star on it? Weak. I'm not graphic designer but I could do way better if I wasn't strapped in to this torture device you call a website. I eventually gave up trying to make even a rudimentary entry because the interface was the single most frustrating UI I have ever come across. It was the WORST experience I have ever had.
But maybe that's the goal. They're trying to simulate the frustration, anger and eventually the lifeless apathy of working at Dunder Mifflin. I was transfered 4 count them, 4 times last night. For no reason that I can see except that the application process is all effed up and branch managers all over the country got applications from when I first joined the site.
I could totally see this being the implementation Dunder Mifflin comes up with for their website, but I am shocked at how poorly it reflects on NBC as a media and entertainment provider. If they can't put together a site that is useful, beneficial and doesn't crash as soon as they flash the url on the screen they've got troubles. On the other hand, many other NBC sites run just great and seem like you'd expect. Is it just much more complicated to set up a social networking site like this? Did NBC skimp on the budget for this promotion? Is it really supposed to be this terrible as a promotion of the show?
I'm starting to think its on purpose, but this site is terrible. Half the links don't work, they just say "coming soon" and the ones that do work mostly seem pointless. You create a "profile" that consists of a picture, your favorite character and a quote. There is a message board for each branch, but no way to group conversations. So everyone is basically making random comments with no continuity at all. Also the tasks SUCK. The first week the task was to design your branch logo. You had to use the "Dunder Mifflin" text, the infinity symbol and you also had to use their crappy graphics web app. This meant that you could rotate, resize and drag shapes onto the canvas. Are you serious? How interesting of a logo are you gonna get if all I can do is turn the text upside down and drop a red star on it? Weak. I'm not graphic designer but I could do way better if I wasn't strapped in to this torture device you call a website. I eventually gave up trying to make even a rudimentary entry because the interface was the single most frustrating UI I have ever come across. It was the WORST experience I have ever had.
But maybe that's the goal. They're trying to simulate the frustration, anger and eventually the lifeless apathy of working at Dunder Mifflin. I was transfered 4 count them, 4 times last night. For no reason that I can see except that the application process is all effed up and branch managers all over the country got applications from when I first joined the site.
I could totally see this being the implementation Dunder Mifflin comes up with for their website, but I am shocked at how poorly it reflects on NBC as a media and entertainment provider. If they can't put together a site that is useful, beneficial and doesn't crash as soon as they flash the url on the screen they've got troubles. On the other hand, many other NBC sites run just great and seem like you'd expect. Is it just much more complicated to set up a social networking site like this? Did NBC skimp on the budget for this promotion? Is it really supposed to be this terrible as a promotion of the show?
Friday, October 05, 2007
No One Cares About Your Flag Certificate.
Michael Turner is protesting the removal of the word "god" from a certificate sent along with a flag to one of his constituents.
Ok, I have several reactions to this listed in order of increasing importance:
1) They asked for the letter to contain a dedication which included god, who will you be offending?
2) Good thing we don't have more pressing issues like an illegal war, skydiving dollar, nuclear wielding enemies, untrustworthy chief executive, failing climate, skyrocketing debt, and out of control corporations to deal with otherwise this might be thought of as a waste of time and money.
3) We're flying 100,000 flags over the capital every year and just giving them away? Do you know how excessive that is? And you're not even charging for them! Asshats.
Ok, I have several reactions to this listed in order of increasing importance:
1) They asked for the letter to contain a dedication which included god, who will you be offending?
2) Good thing we don't have more pressing issues like an illegal war, skydiving dollar, nuclear wielding enemies, untrustworthy chief executive, failing climate, skyrocketing debt, and out of control corporations to deal with otherwise this might be thought of as a waste of time and money.
3) We're flying 100,000 flags over the capital every year and just giving them away? Do you know how excessive that is? And you're not even charging for them! Asshats.
Quitter.
Since when has dementia ever stopped a politician from seeking office? I thought it was a requirement to get on certain tickets. But in all seriousness, why do we have 75 year old senators? Isn't there a mandatory retirement age or something? People might say that's being ageist, but stop kidding yourself. This country functions as a direct result of ageism. Driving, smoking, drinking, voting, health care, insurance, military service, credit, movie discounts. All age based systems. They're the best approximation we have for determining someone's developmental appropriateness for an activity or privilege. I'm not qualified to run for Senate (for a variety of reasons, including lack of motivation, experience, or tolerance for bullshit) first and foremost because of my age. If US citizens can be disqualified from holding public office for being too young, why can't we tell people they're too old to be there? Cause all the old bastards in charge of making the rules don't want to turn themselves into invalids. That's why.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Leggo My... Leg.
This is a little effed up. Lets say you bought a used barbecue. Lets also suppose that there was a severed leg inside it. Would you
A) call the cops, have them investigate and immediately discard the rank barbecue
B) call the cops and try to get the leg back from the morgue because you want to charge people to look at a rotting leg in your barbecue.
I'm pretty firmly in the A) camp myself, but apparently not everyone wold be. Like Shannon Whisnant, who recently purchased a barbecue smoker and, he contends, everything inside it at auction. Of course, the leg's original owner also feels he has a claim to it because, well its his fucking leg. Before you go passing judgement on poor one legged John Wood, hear me out. He didn't intend to sell his leg in a barbecue but, you know, things happen. He started out storing it in the freezer, but they shut off his electric so he put it in the next best place he could think of. No, we're not to the barbecue yet. "He hung it on a fence post in his front yard." Yeah, that's totally cool with your neighbors, right? But after a little while he lost his house and threw the leg into the smoker which he then sent to storage. And then he couldn't make rent on the storage unit, so they auctioned his stuff off, leg and all. It could happen to anyone.
There's a lot of things I could say about this but mostly I'm wondering: why the hell would you buy a barbecue that smells like it has a rotting limb inside it?
A) call the cops, have them investigate and immediately discard the rank barbecue
B) call the cops and try to get the leg back from the morgue because you want to charge people to look at a rotting leg in your barbecue.
I'm pretty firmly in the A) camp myself, but apparently not everyone wold be. Like Shannon Whisnant, who recently purchased a barbecue smoker and, he contends, everything inside it at auction. Of course, the leg's original owner also feels he has a claim to it because, well its his fucking leg. Before you go passing judgement on poor one legged John Wood, hear me out. He didn't intend to sell his leg in a barbecue but, you know, things happen. He started out storing it in the freezer, but they shut off his electric so he put it in the next best place he could think of. No, we're not to the barbecue yet. "He hung it on a fence post in his front yard." Yeah, that's totally cool with your neighbors, right? But after a little while he lost his house and threw the leg into the smoker which he then sent to storage. And then he couldn't make rent on the storage unit, so they auctioned his stuff off, leg and all. It could happen to anyone.
There's a lot of things I could say about this but mostly I'm wondering: why the hell would you buy a barbecue that smells like it has a rotting limb inside it?
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Lingual Assumptions.
How come you can translate an entire language that I don't speak, but I'm the one who has to tell you the language of origin? I don't know what it means, I obviously don't speak the language I'm trying to interpret. How the hell am I even sposed to know what its called? Or even pick from a list of languages I don't speak. I feel like you could take a better stab at picking a source dictionary than I could. Heck, try it with a few languages if the words are similar. I'll decide what's gibberish in my own tongue.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)