Monday, October 22, 2007

Everyone Is Idiots But Me.

Why the hell can't I buy razor blades any more?  Every store I look in has a space set aside for all the different styles and brands of blades, but all the shelves are empty.  And it pisses me off.  No, I'm not going to ask someone for help or head to the counter and wait in line to request them like I'm buying illegal fireworks at the 7-11.  Its little pieces of metal with little pieces of plastic that people throw away after 4 days.  I understand that they're expensive and small and might be a higher shoplifting threat.  But if your precautions preempt people who actually want to pay the ridiculous amount you're asking you need to rethink the system.  The result is that I've used the same cartridge for the past 6 weeks and shaved more and more infrequently.  I failed again today to legally obtain even the most rudimentary face scraping device.  So I'm gonna have to start evaluating my other options.
  1. Grow a beard and trim it with clippers (a set of which is ironically cheaper than the 8 pack of disposable Gillette Fusion blades.)
  2. Use the power of my impressive cognitive ability to convince the hair follicles on my face that they do not need to insulate that portion of my body
  3. Start shaving with utility knives from Home Depot.
  4. Buy yet another electric razor and use it for the recommended month to let my face adjust to the irritation before giving it up because I can't stand the pain of even blunt objects against my red, ragged, poorly shaven cheek and neck.
  5. Break into people's houses and steal their shaving supplies.  (optionally, replace their lightly used supplies with my heavily used supplies)
  6. Investigate the various waxing options in the ladies' hair removal aisle.  (shudder)
  7. Order them online from Amazon where I'll be forced to also buy a DVD by my complete lack of self-control.

1 comment:

Five Cubed Skipper said...

http://www.someecards.com/upload/reminders/there_are_painless_innovative_new_ways_for_men.html