I Got My Reasons.

Wow, you're right Men's Health, I'm not eating any of these foods.  But how did you know?  Are you spying on me?  Do you have secret cameras in my kitchen?  The article explains why I should be eating these foods and how to work them into meal plans, but they left out one very important aspect.  Why I'm NOT eating them.  I mean, if they're so awesome and good for me, why aren't I already chowing down on them?

1. Beets - Taste awful.
   
2. Cabbage - Lettuce's waxy stepchild.
   
3. Guava - Feel like poser asking where guava isle is.
   
4. Swiss Chard - Freaking Swiss think they're better than me.
   
5. Cinnamon - What, am I sposed to snap in like a slim-jim?
   
6. Purslane - Wha?  I don't eat weeds.
   
7. Pomegranate Juice - Too thick, I like my beverages to be... liquid.
   
8. Goji Berries - I'm gonna plead ignorance on this one.
   
9. Dried Plums - I poop just fine, thanks.
   
10. Pumpkin Seeds - Too seasonal.  I'll eat 2 lbs in about a month, but where am I sposed to get a fresh pumpkin in February?

Alright, fine.  I'm gonna try to go buy these 10 items and see what all the fuss is about.  Although I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have trouble with the goji and chard.

Also I have a real problem with the term "free radicals".  Every time someone mentions them I stop paying attention and think about Sean Connery's fight scene from Never Say Never Again in the health spa with the guy from Raiders of the Lost Arc.  Cause earlier in the movie M tells Sean that they're gonna get rid of his free radicals, which is obviously not Bonds' style.  He's worked hard womanizing and carousing to develop all those free radicals and he'll be damned if some suit was gonna take them away from him.

M: Too many free radicals. That's your problem.
James Bond: "Free radicals," sir?
M: Yes. They're toxins that destroy the body and the brain, caused by eating too much red meat and white bread and too many dry martinis!
James Bond: Then I shall cut out the white bread, sir.

I swear I don't have ADHD.

• The 10 Best Foods You Aren't Eating - Men's Health