Old People Material.

Last week I ran across an article about a guy in Washinton who was suing spammers and the legal difficulties he went through.  I didn't write about it and lost interest.  I don't even know what site it was on.  Maybe Slate.  Maybe Slashdot.  It doesn't matter.  What did stick in my mind was one of the complaints (in an unrelated case) that was lodged against a judge.  Among other complaints of loosed tongue indiscretions Gary W. Velie had apparently

stated to an attorney in open court and in front of a female court reporter and female clerk that the attorney looked like he had been "jacking off a bobcat in a phone booth;"

That is freaking hilarious.  Not just the mental image (Imagine how you would go about such a thing and what the pitfalls might be.  I'll wait a sec for you to stop laughing... .... ... all set?  Me neither... ... ... ok lets go.) but that this dude found it a normal way to characterize an attorney in court.  If I ever go to court, I want that judge.  Anyway, I think we should start using this expression.  The next time one of your friends walks in looking particularly disheveled, whip it out.  He'll never know what hit him, all courtesy of the honorable Gary W. Velie.

Washington State: Comission on Judicial Conduct (scroll to Feb 7 1992)