Lookout you corrupt fat cats in the home appliance installation industry. There's a new consumer watchdog group in town and they're gonna take you to the cleaners. They're gonna make sure the torment this country has gone through at your reckless whim is put to an end. They're gonna make sure 26 more people aren't crushed by tipping stoves.
Um, 26 people? In 26 years? Seriously? That sounds pretty good.
Lets get a few comparative stats for reference. I'm gonna assume that averages out to one person per year killed by stove fall, and not some giant stove killing 17 in 1993.
You are twice as likely to die in a streetcar accident (not as a pedestrian) as get crushed by a stove. Or how about three times as likely for your pajamas to catch fire and kill you in your sleep. How about a mundane slip, trip, or stumble (on a level surface, not including stairs or a fall from a height) - five hundred ninety seven times more likely to kill you than a tipping stove.
Shit, maybe these consumer groups should be railing against walking around since its about a 500 times more dangerous than your stove. Honestly, stop trying to coddle me. I know no one wants to hear it, and its different when it happens to someone close to you, but people have got to die somehow. I don't think its a failure of the government or a corporation if millions of people can keep out from under these things, but 26 people just couldn't hack it. You know where the problem was.
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