You Can't Drown, You Fool, You're Immortal

I'd like to talk a little about immortality. When I seriously consider it, I think that some scientists will devise a means of immortality before my death. Something like figuring out which part of our dna ages us, or developing a process of cell replacement with younger cells. Or even growing a duplicate body and figuring out how to transfer a person's consciousness into it. I dunno, that's for them to figure out.

I also believe that it won't be cheap. So you'll have to be damn rich to be able to have the procedure done. Whether its a reoccurring thing (a daily dose or once every 40 years) or even if its a one time procedure, whoever thinks of it will charge the hell out of the people that want it. It'll become some kind of elitist classism, those who live and those who die. And as we all know, the longer you live the greater your chances for making money. Just look at the highlander, Fry, or like any vampire you can think of. Immortals are loaded. Just from hanging around for long enough.

Now think about the kind of personality most people who'd do this would have. Egotistical, superior, either scared or fearless. Plus, despite their freakishly young looks, they'd be old people and resentful of youth and how the world has changed. Face it all the cool old people are fine with dying. They say stuff like "Am I dying or is this my birthday?" or "That guy's got to stop. . . . He'll see us." So I've got a decision to make. Either join all those rich immortal assholes, or think of something cool to say by the time I die.

The Last Words of Real People