Shark Attack!

Well, I began my masters of maritime carnivory tonight. First course: Elasmobranchii 310.

I decided to choose a recipe that wouldn't mask the original flavor of the meat so I decided on a garlic-infused shark steak basted with a lemon basil oregano parsley sauce and garnished with fire-roasted tomato. The steaks were marinated and began on the grill with a foil liner, mostly because most fish I grill ends up sticking like bare skin on a leather couch in august. I bumped them off the foil and over the flames to finish them off and they were surprisingly hearty.

Luckily I had a few minutes to spare before my hot new ladyfriend arrived, so I took some pictures of the awesome beast whose powers I was about to possess*. Apex predator my ass; tonight you're dinner.

As you can see, it was very tastefully done. And now on to the meat. It was mildly fishy, but in a more substantial kinda way. I'd put the flavor near a tuna steak, but the texture was more solid. Not rubbery necessarily, but it didn't come apart like fish normally does. I could have hit it with the garlic a bit harder and no one would have minded, shark doesn't have a particularly strong flavor of its own. You could clearly taste the lemon marinade. Disappointingly, it lost that kickass red tinge as it cooked and became grey and... less appetizing grey. Not quite the enticing pink hue of a beef steak, but hey, its fish. What did you expect? All-in-all a not-unsatisfying experience and definately a substantial cut of meat from an extra-ordinary animal. Chalk me up on the fridge!But don't take my word for it, start your own meat masters degree today. I've got leftovers...

*Note: I am not currently aware of any super predator powers that were passed to me by this shark. I assume I have to learn to properly use them over time.

Random Thoughts.

If you could travel through time it would be a pain in the butt to remember how old you are.

MEAT423 - Advanced Carnivism.

Exciting news guys, I've got three new editions of the animals I'd like to eat game. So now you can track your progress on two continents and deep in the sea. You finish off these bad boys and you've effectively achieved masters degree predator status. I have to admit, I'm not doing as well on these ones as I was on the farm animals.

---

---

Search Me.

Hey, take a look at the new badass custom search bar hanging out on the sidebar. That thing is a bloodhound for brilliance cause it only searches Daily Placebo articles. Added bonus: you get to do it all without leaving the safety of the placebo green background. Yeah, I know its awesome.

It Only Makes Me Want You All The More.

Why is it that the most endangered animals are always the most useful \ delicious? This time we're on the useful side of things, so put away your exotic animal themed chef's hat. The Guatemalan beaded lizard is a venomous lizard that numbers in the sub 200 specimen range. Turns out that its venom is dy-no-mite for treating diabetes. Too bad everyone can't just carry around their own lizard and suck a little juice out of whatever hole lizard poison comes from.

• The Nature Conservancy in Guatemala - Protecting the Guatemalan Beaded Lizard

Alright, get that hat back out. I got to thinking, I've actually eaten very few of the worlds numerous types of animal. So few in fact that I could probably list them all right... now.


Animals I've eaten:
cow
chicken
pig
turkey
deer
lamb
duck
kangaroo
hot dog
various unexciting fishes (tuna, salmon, cod, white, blue, one, two)
lobster
crab
shrimp
other sea dwelling creatures that do not deserve to be mentioned

And I think that's just about it. If you can think of one I'm missing comment or email me and I'll add it. But now for the exciting part. What animals I'd like to have eaten.

Animals I would like to eat:
dolphin
kiwi
rabbit
bear
seal
starfish
manatee
hippopotamus
elephant
impala
tiger
peacock
penguin
komodo
dragon
porcupine
panda
bushbaby
more exciting fishes (angler, piranha, clown, shark)

• Experienced gastronoms take a look at the menu or today's specials and let me know what looks good.
• And for you novice carnivores, check out the "farm animals I'd like to eat" home edition. Print it out and keep it on the fridge to help you keep track of the deliciousness.

Slow Down There.

Talk about overstepping your bounds.  A letter carrier in Maine pulled an elderly woman out of a burning building and the National Association of Letter Carriers named him "national hero of the year."  All well and good till the end.  WTF?  How do you guys have the power to proclaim the hero of the year?  I mean, sure you should be able to designate something like "heroic letter carrier of the year"  but full-out unqualified hero?  I think not.  Why don't you guys rein in your stallions and realize that there are other people besides letter carriers doing cool stuff?  Save the superlative title naming for the big boys; your ISOs, your UNs, your Nobels.

• Maine Letter Carrier Named 'Hero of the Year' for Rescuing Elderly Apartment Fire Victim | Great News Network

Suit Up.

Ok, I'll admit it. One of my guilty pleasures is watching How I Met Your Mother. Its pretty much your standard 3 camera friends-in-city formula but I like it. The writing doesn't completely suck and not all the actors make me want to break things, but mostly the best reason for the show's existence is Barney Stinson. Played by Neil Patrick Harris, this character is pure freaking gold. If you've never seen it, I don't know what I can do to persuade you. Oh, wait. Yes I do. I found what is possibly the best blog ever (move over Creed) because it is... brace yourself... Barney's blog. Yeah, I know, how great is that? Very great, that's how great. I'm only a few pages in and I can't keep it to myself any more. What with the:

1. Phone script for dumping girls
2. Guide to licking national monuments
3. Types of party to avoid
4. List of ways women are like fish
5. Bachelor party attendee stereotypes

I'm pretty sure its all this good though, so make sure you git to clickin. Oh and I imagine the posts will continue as the show is back next Monday at eight in the pm.

• Holy Crap Its Barney's Blog

Random Thoughts.

I hate it when I do chores in my sleep cause when I wake up I have to do them all over again.

Where'd I Leave My Heart Medicine?

Yep, looks like all those reports of beer being healthy just got another boost, and the black gold in particular. A study finds that a pint of Guinness a day helps prevent blood clots and heart attacks as well as aspirin. Lagers do not afford the same benefits. Researchers believe that Guinness contains antioxidant compounds much like healthy fruits and vegetables. Guinness' first study in 1920 consisted of asking people "do you feel good" after a pint, which resulted in the "Guinness is good for you" slogan. Cause honestly, who doesn't feel good after a beer? But some kill-joy told them they couldn't maintain that claim and they abandoned the health aspect. So its taken 80 years and we're full circle, drink up mates, its heart healthy again.

• BBC Health: Guinness Is Good For You

Wordsmith Sam.

"This is to officially inform you that we have verified your payment file and found out that why you have not received your fund is because you have not fulfilled the obligations given to you in respect of your contract/inheritance payment.

"Secondly we have been informed that you are still dealing with the none officials in the bank all your attempt to secure the release of the fund to you. We wish to advise you that such an illegal act like this have to stop if you wishes to receive your payment since we have decided to bring a solution to your problem. Right now we have arranged your payment through our swift card payment center Asia pacific, that is the latest instruction from Economic community of west African States (ECOWAS) and Ghana Government."

Wow, Sam-the-scam, you're really uping your game. Some of these sentences actually make a little bit of sense. "that why you have not received is because", whew it was all I could do not to just send you my checkbook right then. Of course then you go and accuse me of dealing with the none officials, which is just plain libelous. I have never dealt with, or to, a none official in my life. In fact, I'm pretty sure you just made that noise up. Also, Sam, aren't we kinda jumping into the middle of the scam here? I mean you haven't even offered me an ungodly sum of money for little or no work. And I haven't told you that all I have is this $15,000 that I need for tuition payments but if I can get six million back then I guess I could help your uncle's nephew's room-mate's friend's congressional aide's barber funnel illegal funds out of the country. Maybe you're just hoping I'll confuse you with one of the twelve other scammers I'm in frequent communication with. Then maybe "verifying a payment file" would make a lick of sense and I'd be worried about my illegal actions with none bank officials. Well, Sam, I'm sure I'll hear from you again and its good to know that your English is progressing nicely. Ta.

*

So I don't really pay too much attention to the baseball, but I thought that the fans with asterisk signs in the stands were hilarious in the games running up to Bonds' record breaking whollop.  Well Marc Ecko bought the ball and is asking you what to do with it.  Head over to vote756.com and tell him if you'd like it displayed in Cooperstown, branded with an asterisk, or shot into space.  Personally, I'm going with branding just cause its funny.

• Vote756.com: For The Record...

Savvy?

Aye, ye be warned, ya bilge huggin lubbers. Belay yer desk jockyin and pack up your hardtack. Today be intarrrrrrrnational talk like a pirate day. So press yer mates into service, drag your loot to th' local grogery and commence to cavorting, swarthy like.

• A Pirate's Glossary of Terms

I Bet I Can Put My Head In His Mouth.

I like to think that if I had I dog I wouldn't let him play with polar bears. Not cause I'm a bearist or anything like that. It just doesn't seem like such a safe thing to do. Course, then I got to thinkin. What would I do if a polar bear wanted to play with my dog? Yeah, I'd probably stay in the tent hoping he doesn't eat sparky. Cause lets face it, there's no shooing away an animal like that without the use of some kind of firearm or special bear forcefield. And you better believe I'm saving all the bullets and forcefield juice in case he decides he wants to play with me next.

• A Picture is Worth... Playful Polar Bear (TreeHugger)

I Got My Reasons.

Wow, you're right Men's Health, I'm not eating any of these foods.  But how did you know?  Are you spying on me?  Do you have secret cameras in my kitchen?  The article explains why I should be eating these foods and how to work them into meal plans, but they left out one very important aspect.  Why I'm NOT eating them.  I mean, if they're so awesome and good for me, why aren't I already chowing down on them?

1. Beets - Taste awful.
   
2. Cabbage - Lettuce's waxy stepchild.
   
3. Guava - Feel like poser asking where guava isle is.
   
4. Swiss Chard - Freaking Swiss think they're better than me.
   
5. Cinnamon - What, am I sposed to snap in like a slim-jim?
   
6. Purslane - Wha?  I don't eat weeds.
   
7. Pomegranate Juice - Too thick, I like my beverages to be... liquid.
   
8. Goji Berries - I'm gonna plead ignorance on this one.
   
9. Dried Plums - I poop just fine, thanks.
   
10. Pumpkin Seeds - Too seasonal.  I'll eat 2 lbs in about a month, but where am I sposed to get a fresh pumpkin in February?

Alright, fine.  I'm gonna try to go buy these 10 items and see what all the fuss is about.  Although I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have trouble with the goji and chard.

Also I have a real problem with the term "free radicals".  Every time someone mentions them I stop paying attention and think about Sean Connery's fight scene from Never Say Never Again in the health spa with the guy from Raiders of the Lost Arc.  Cause earlier in the movie M tells Sean that they're gonna get rid of his free radicals, which is obviously not Bonds' style.  He's worked hard womanizing and carousing to develop all those free radicals and he'll be damned if some suit was gonna take them away from him.

M: Too many free radicals. That's your problem.
James Bond: "Free radicals," sir?
M: Yes. They're toxins that destroy the body and the brain, caused by eating too much red meat and white bread and too many dry martinis!
James Bond: Then I shall cut out the white bread, sir.

I swear I don't have ADHD.

• The 10 Best Foods You Aren't Eating - Men's Health

Secret Secrets.

I love commercials for Mercury cars because of the spokeswoman, but I not gonna buy a car because of her.

Loose Lips.

Whew, I did it. For the last few weeks I've been participating in a private beta test of a new financial web service called mint. Part of the agreement was that I would refrain from talking, blogging, or basically intimating that I knew what Mint was, what it did, or that it even existed. Luckily I managed to keep my trap shut, as the service launched today at TechCrunch40. So the embargo is off!

Mint is a swank little app that collects spending reports from your various online finance resources. So it compiles spending reports from all your credit cards and whatever bank accounts you supply. (Yeah, its a little creepy giving them all that information but once you get past that its cool. Plus I realized all you can do in my online credit card accounts is pay bills, so what the hell.)

Once you jump in Mint collects all your transactions and starts classifying them into spending groups. It doesn't get them all right off the bat, but its pretty good about recognizing most merchants. From there you can see the breakdown of where your money goes on a month to month scale, and compare your current spending with your average spending in each group.

Overall I think its pretty useful as a little introspection of where you're throwing your money. The last section of the site analyzes your interest rates, cash back and other rewards to recommend ways you could save money. This could use a little work cause it kept recommending I switch one card that I hardly use to a cash back card that I do use. So if you'd like a little clarity in your burning pocket syndrome go check it out, its open to the public.

• Mint

Welcome To The Jungle.

We got fun n games.  Looks like the NY Times heard about this Internet thing and how a lot of people are giving their stuff away for free.  I know, I know.  It sounds crazy; what is this, some communist utopia?  Nah, it just turns out there are better ways to make money than charging $49.95 for a yearly subscription.  (unless you're a pr0n site)  See, 227,000 users is actually not very many even if they're ponying up fifty bones a head.  Mostly the tech staff looked at some tracking data an noticed that a lot of page-loads were not coming from nytimes.com but from referring sites.  Odd, its almost as if this interweb was designed to promote linking related articles.  Or maybe they caught wind of one of those articles about how most news consumption is extremely promiscuous.  I know I am.  Hell, if The Post knew what I did with the AP News feed it'd never talk to me again.

• Times to Stop Charging for Parts of Its Web Site - New York Times

Mega Vote-less.

I subscribe to MegaVote.  Its a periodical email that tells you about recent and upcoming bills in congress.  It also details the yeas, nays and number of slackers who couldn't even get their sorry butts to work and vote.  It also tells you which way your representative voted on each time.  Pretty neat if you like to keep tabs on what's going on but can't be bothered to pick up a newspaper.  So back when I lived in MD's 8th district (the fightin' 8th) my update would have looked like this:

Recent Senate Votes
Transportation/HUD Appropriations Act, FY2008 - Vote Passed (88-7, 5 Not Voting) The Senate voted to provide $104.6 billion to fund programs at the Departments of Transportation and Housing and Urban Development. Sen. Barbara Mikulski voted YES......send e-mail or see bio Sen. Benjamin Cardin voted YES......send e-mail or see bio

See?  Wouldn't that make you feel informed and enfranchised?  Yeah, well I just took a look at my new MegaVote and here's what I found:

Recent Senate Votes

Transportation/HUD Appropriations Act, FY2008 - Vote Passed (88-7, 5 Not Voting) The Senate voted to provide $104.6 billion to fund programs at the Departments of Transportation and Housing and Urban Development.

That's all, cause I'm not a US citizen any more, I just live in the freaking capital city.  Damn you Americans and your smug elitist representative government.
Although, I do see in the upcoming bills section: "Senate: District of Columbia House Voting Rights Act of 2007"  Damn that's exciting.  Maybe soon I'll have as much non-Senatorial representation as those SOBs in Wyoming.

What Ever Happened To Poking Them With A Stick?

Talk about a rude awakening, a traffic collision participant awoke to the excruciating pain of having his face cut into by morgue workers.  Shit, I thought they had, like, tests to see if someone was dead.  Maybe you have to write that special on your license, "do not perform autopsy or harvest my organs unless I'm dead.  Check twice."  I'm gettin the jibblies just thinking about it.  Course I guess waking up in the morgue with a hole in your face is better than the alternative.

• The Register: Venezuelan Man Survives Autopsy

Those Poor Canuks.

I just entered a sweepstakes at my preferred travel deal provider by referring a couple friends to them.  I feel fine about it because 1) the service is cool and free with good deals on travel and accommodations 2) they are under no pressure to subscribe 3) they will also be entered into the sweepstakes, should they decide to subscribe.  Anyway, the prize is all 20 hot travel deals included in the next tip, things like flights to Atlanta, cruises to Bermuda, or hotels in St Thomas that throw in airfare.  Sounds good to me, I'll take it.

So I read through the rules after I'd entered to see when this was gonna happen and I noticed a special section just for Canadians:

FOR RESIDENTS OF CANADA ONLY:

Before being declared a winner, if the potential winner is a legal resident of Canada, he or she must correctly answer a time-limited mathematical skill-testing question, without assistance of any kind, whether mechanical or otherwise, provided by Sponsor via e-mail. The potential winner must correctly answer the time-limited mathematical skilled testing question and send the answer to Sponsor within twenty four (24) hours of Sponsor sending the question by e-mail to the potential winner. The answer must be faxed to: [REDACTED] If Sponsor does not receive the answer within the specified time period, the potential winner forfeits the Prize and Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, conduct another random drawing of all remaining eligible Entries to select another potential winner.

Holy crap, that sucks.  Canadians have to work for their free prizes.  See, that's what's great about America.  We don't have any special rules to ensure that ignorant people don't win fabulous prizes. Its equal opportunity charity over here, boys.  And you think you're all socially just.

P.S. No I'm not gonna tell you how to enter, that would only reduce my odds.  What am I, an idiot?

What's That Square Thing?

Wow, I'm glad my regatta yesterday didn't have this kind of unscheduled interruption. A sailboat and a Spanish submarine played a little game of tag as the sailboat narrowly failed to avoid the stern of the sub. I'm pretty sure this doesn't happen too often but you'd think sub crews would have a method for saying "please don't hit me." Yeah, I spose they're designed to have a low profile and blend in with the sea, but it seems like they shouldn't get snuck up accidentally on by a sailboat.

• Submarine disrupts the Vuelta España a Vela

That'll leave a dent.

Ever seen a matress come flying off a truck at highway speeds? I just did. And I do mean flying; apparently 70 mph is enough for bedding to produce sufficient lift to reach an altitude of 25 to 30 feet. Flippin and floppin the whole way. Lucky for me this was on the other side of the median or I'd be really pissed off instead of amused. That's all, just wondering with all the matresses poorly mounted matresses running around someone else has to have witnessed the flight of the posturpedic.

JK Rowling's Got Nothing On The Bush Administration.

So George went on TV and said that because we're making good progress in Iraq we can reduce the number of troops deployed.  Hmm, cause I'd read on Slate that the troop surge was coming to a head, and there were no other troops left to send.  This is indicative of my understanding of a surge.  Its a temporary exertion of a greater amount of force; one that you can't sustain all the time.  Looks like the Slate remembers that article too, cause they rip Bush six ways from Sunday in this article.  Its not a result of any progress or success that the troops are coming home, but the physical reality of a surge.  But if George wants to go on tv and tell us that the plan worked and we're all heroes for believing in him there's not much we can do.  Wait.

Shit this is simple, I can't believe we didn't think of it before.  We can't leave till the job is done, so lets just declare victory and get the hell outta there.  Facts and real world conditions have never hampered the Bush administration's foreign policy before, why should it now?  Send George on TV to tell us we've won an overwhelming, decisive and inevitable victory in a righteous war.  He'll put on his "I'm so sincere you don't know whether I'm lying or stupid" face and the world will follow those puppy dog eyes over a cliff.  Boom-bam, we won, they lost.  Troops come home where they can take turns standing behind TSA officers with large machine guns.

Honestly, that's the solution to getting out of this war; the same way we got in.  Trick everyone into a falsified media-produced construction that's pretty much just whatever fantasy you wish were true and by the time they realize its lies, the plan is already put in motion.  No going back.  So instead of saying, "Well, we're in the war, lets stop asking how or why we got elbow deep in this quagmire" it'll be "Well, we're out of the war, we can't very well send troops back in now.  Stay the course bitches."

• Bush's appalling Iraq speech. - By Fred Kaplan - Slate Magazine

Still Not Crazy.

Whew, I almost thought I was going senile for a second there.  I got a message from downstairs saying that I had a FedEx package.  Now, I like packages and am not one to argue, but I was pretty sure that I hadn't ordered anything else recently.  I knew there were three things: my micro SD card, my stereo bluetooth headphones and a couple of DVD's.  What else did I buy?  Who would be using FedEx?  Is it a bomb?  How would bombers get this address?  Anyway, by the time I went down to get it, I'd talked myself out of the mail-bomb hypothesis, and into the "you're an idiot if you can't remember what this is before you open it" persuasion.  So I sat at my desk looking at the box.  It wasn't small.  Had a wee bit of heft and felt like it had something good inside.  (you know that kinda box under the christmas tree that, though you have no idea what it contains, you're positive the noises it makes when shaken are indicative of wonderfullness)  So after a few minutes I still had nothing and was ready to accept that I was, in fact, a moron.

So I bust into it.  Its a bluetooth headset. ...  Yeah, I already got my bluetooth headset in the mail.  This one is from Helio along with an invoice for zero dollars.  Yep, my mobile company is so awesome they just mail me random gadgets for free.  No, I'm just kidding.  When I bought my ocean I used an AmEx code that was good for $100 off the device; apparently also included with that deal was a free headset that I didn't add to my shopping cart when I checked out.  So it looks like Helio tracked down my omission and sent me the prize I deserve.  I do like surprises.  So now I have two headsets: one for listening to music and taking calls, and one for being tiny.  Booyah.

Oh Bother.

So apparently we're like halfway through September and I still haven't finished talking about the stuff from last month.  I know, this is getting to be a regular event, but just thank your lucky stars I don't just delete these nuggets.

Daily Placebo readers enjoy full text rss syndication, and while my reasons may be a little more base and well intentioned (seems like the right thing to do and I hate having to click through to read the last 4 words of a post) TechDirt (who also provides full syndication like the just and insightful titans they are) explains why full text feeds are good for business.  Its mostly just about getting people to read your stuff and not worrying about monetizing every click.  If people enjoy your content there's a greater chance they'll refer other people to it, like I'm doing right now.

• Techdirt: Why Full Text Feeds Actually Increase Page Views (The Freakonomics Explanation)

Harvesting surplus kinetic energy has interested me for a while, like charging batteries instead of generating heat when you apply the brakes of a car.  Of course hydroelectric falls into this category, but I bet you never though of using human kinetics to drive the power grid.  No, we're not talking about stacks of bio-batteries like in the Matrix.  With the development of lower consumption alternatives like LED, simple actions like walking and sitting could power the devices around us if we could harness them.

• Environmental Graffiti: How Much Power Do I Generate by Sitting on the Toilet?

Ok, now we're talking about harvesting human energy like in the Matirx.  German scientists are measuring how much power they can draw from the heat radiated by a human.  Of course they're measuring it in millivolts so don't go thinkin you can stop charging your cell phone any time soon.

• Body powered circuits developed by Fraunhofer Institute

I told you this biofuels crap is not a good plan.  First the price of tequila goes up (blue agave burned to make room for corn) and now I can't even afford five pounds of gummy bears.

• Treehugger: Biofuels Threatening German Gummy Bear Habitat

Rent-a-duck?   I'm not really sure how useful ducks are at housework.  I guess they could clean your backyard pond, or maybe your tub if you've really let it go.  In Germany folks are renting farm animals to help with gardening.  What is this the Flintstones?  I refuse to brush my teeth with a sparrow.

• Rent-a-duck scheme is a hit

Life is like a Florida gun amnesty program; you never know what you're gonna git.  When this story first ran sources reported than a man turned in a surface to air missile he'd found in a shed.  Not true.  It was actually just the case for an anti-tank missile.  He got a new pair of sneakers in exchange, which just makes a mockery of the program.  I mean, its a gun trade-in, not a missile case trade-in.  Plus you know this guy still has that thing stuffed under his driver's seat.  The next person to cut him off is in for a surprise...

• BBC: Missile at gun trade in

I was looking for instructions on how to cook penguins recently.  So I got excited when I read this title, but its slightly misleading.  Solomons Island is exporting 100 live dolphins each year to help boost their income.  Fishermen sell them for $200, but shipping and training brings the price tag up to about $30,000.  If that's not the old bait and switch I don't know what is.  I guess I'm back to eating tuna, hoping to get lucky one day.

• Environmental Graffiti: Live dolphins sold for $200

Saltwater Power.

No, this isn't about those wave generators or harnessing the kinetic energy of currents.  70% of the earth may be covered with fuel; right on the surface.  And we've been digging up, killing for, and refining this black fool's gold like simpletons.

So here's the story: A guy oddly discovered that you can burn saltwater by passing calibrated radio waves through it.  No one believed him, cause that's just silly.  Someone recreated it and explained that its hydrogen burning.  Now everyone is trying to figure out how to make it a viable energy source.

Ok, that sounds really good, doesn't it?  Kinda makes me wish I hadn't been so down on hydrogen vehicles for so long.  But I can still see this going several ways:

1. Its a hoax and you guys were morons to believe it.
2. Not Commercially viable (you have to put too much energy in to get anything out)
3. Revolutionary breakthrough that:

• Is swept under the rug by fuel companies until you're left wondering in 2043 while paying $45 a gallon for gas "what happened to that saltwater fuel thing?"
• Changes the world as we know it, reducing the energy market to a non-commodity worldwide; and setting a historical waypoint marking our entrance into the future.
• Turns out to be worse for the environment than gas and nuclear explosions combined.

• Can saltwater be burned as fuel? - Engadget

You know what this is.

You know what this is.

POP Makes Me Sad.

So I activated my yahoo, windows live, and aim mail accounts because my phone gets push email from them.  Too bad they suck at spam filtering cause now I get up to the minute updates on worthwhile offers that only suckers consider.  On the other hand, its always blagger gold when you get an email so stupid that you just have to share it.

to use them (and when

Good afternoon. What's up? Email me at [redacted] only. I am young female. Mind me sending some of my pictures to you?
playtime can create  you would be  daughter involved  if you are interested in it.

That's it.  Verbatim- minus the redacted part.  (I don't want you guys being tempted)  What the hell is your deal?  "playtime can create"? How the hell can you figure out how to spam me but not be able to construct a coherent sentence?  Oh gmail, when will you come through with IMAP?  I know, your innovative "label" structure isn't compatible, but honestly I don't love them that much.  I'd rather have push email and synced inboxes.  Can't you do just this one little thing for me?  Please?
 

Great Tiny Art.

So I've been doing a little more to make backgrounds for my new phone ever since I got all the ringtones I could immediately conjure taken care of. There are some pretty good ones if I do say so myself. But honestly I'm like the only one who is going to see these most of the time and it seems selfish. So, ever being an altruist, here's a little flash slideshow of my phone background screens. Enjoy.

Children Need Maps.

Face it, you could be more into maps than you are.  I dunno why you're not more into maps, but you've got to start taking hold of your life.  Just think of all the valuable information you would be packing into your brain without wasting time reading paragraphs of text.  Ugh, makes me bored just thinking about all those letters.  Well, I've got a site that should help with your geographic renaissance, "maps for us."  It displays user submitted maps about the most important subjects from mario to clue; feet to zombie escape diagrams; Thai hooker VD concentration to coffee shops in Amsterdam.  Its all good to know and textually thrifty, what a bonus!  So stop indulging in your literacy addiction and head on over for some pretty pictures.

• Maps For Us

What, No Tin Cans Or Shaving Cream?

I feel like we should be able to prank all politicians to let them know when they're doing a sub-par job.  You know, funny stuff like eggings and tp.  Cause really, what's the fun in just whining to ourselves all the time?  And what politician would dare act in his own self-serving interest if the risk of a bucket-over-the-door, saran wrap toilet, or buttered kitchen floor prank was in the cards?

Pranksters Hit Karl Rove's Car, Outgoing White House Strategist's Jaguar Covered In Plastic Wrap - CBS News

You Spoiled Son Of A Bitch.

How to blow $3600 on a flight to London: book it on premium business class airline EOS.  They only fly from New York to London (and back of course) so it really takes the hassle out of having to pick your destination.  Of course you get pampered during the flight with gourmet meals on tablecloths, cashmere blankets and 21 Sq Ft of personal space that can be converted into a bed. I can only assume that the BJ's are extra.

But seriously, flying 48 people on a plane built for 200 seems like a nice waste of gas.  I mean, you can't suck it up for 6 hours?  Real men don't need sleep.

Eos Airlines - Only 48 Seats