Musical Dealers.

So I took my car in to the dealer yesterday like a chump. But hey, this is the first dime I've actually given to them so all those free rental cars and carwashes finally paid off. I figure one good Acura check-up now that my car is out of warranty might be judicious. Then I won't feel quite so neglectful when I never take him back for actual service.

Anyway, I roll up at 7 and the Acura signs are all gone and there's a buncha Nissans in the lot. Doesn't seem promising and no one mentioned that they'd turned into a Nissan dealer when I'd made my appointment. Odd, but then I noticed a sheet of paper taped to the door that said Acura had moved down the street. Okayyy...

So I drop off my car at this obviously not new building that has Acura signs draped on it. Odd. But my curiosity is well satiated by street view which shows this location as a Chevy / Oldsmobile. Ohh... sssssoooory! That might be a bit of a sore spot, huh? Although I can't find anything about Chevy Chase Chevrolet actually closing, there's no web site about them and they're definitely not in this building any more.

Anyone know if this is standard operating procedure for dealers? Moving locations trivial distances with no warning? I guess the new building is bigger but it seems like a lot of overhead. Also the old place looked like somewhere you might go to buy a car. This storefront looks like an old department store that accidentally got a shipment of cars instead of mannequins.

Firmwarez

So the iPhone 3.0 OS rolled out yesterday and despite my many protestations I've come to accept that its a necessary upgrade. I'm not gonna get much from many of the features, like MMS, voice memos, internet tethering (although none of you will see that one either), stereo bluetooth, or "find my iphone". I mostly wanted the update so I can continue to pay Apple and developers for apps to run on my iPod touch. Never you mind that I already paid them $20 to update my fresh out-of-the-box device with a current OS; charging customers for the privilege of giving you money doesn't seem like a very good strategy. But I digress.

I really wanted to point out a feature that I wasn't very pumped up about till about 5 minutes ago. The Spotlight Search. I've been pretty annoyed with apple's system for organizing apps on the iphone, which basically consists of one list that stretches for as many pages as is necessary to show all the icons. You can drag them around, but its pretty much a pain and they don't stay sorted well as new apps are purchased. But now with search I can type in the first few letters of the app I want and up it pops. Pretty nice actually, considering its fixing such a stupid problem.

• Apple - iPhone - New features in the iPhone 3.0 Software Update.
• Apple - iPod touch - Software Update

UpdateHoly crap, it searches through your music too! No more scrolling through the alphabet like a sucker!

Just Another Day At Work.

You ever get the feeling that the White House is just one big-ass party that you'll never be invited to? Everyone knows the best house parties always wind up with wild exotic animals roaming the grounds and dudes with guns posing manlyly.

One Map To Rule Them All.

So this is pretty sweet. About a year ago I was in the Caribbean. It was nice. Then sometime after I got back Google launched something called "Map Maker". Its basically a copy of Google maps that people can edit in certain regions, wiki-style. One of those not mapped was Grand Cayman, which I had limited but first-hand knowledge of. So I went to town making little roads and buildings, trying to match up the satellite image with my memory and photos I'd taken. After a little searching I even found a scanned tourist map of the area that told me road names and points of interest. I digitized as much as made sense and promptly forgot about it. My knowledge was pretty much exhausted after 21.9 km of roads and 22 business listings, hey, I was only there for a few hours.

As of today, my account is 337 days old and Google is announcing that they're rolling Map Maker changes into real Google Maps for those newly updated areas.

• Google LatLong: Map Maker Graduation: Part II

A quick comparison shows that, yup, maps looks pretty much the same as the user generated map Maker version. But more importantly is how much detail is found on Grand Cayman now. There was literally nothing there when I started. (actually the island polygon was .5 km west of the satellite imagery) And random people with personal experience filled in the gaps. Other people helped with formatting and bam, all of a sudden there's a useful reference tool online.

• Map Maker

I guess I find this interesting because its what I though they were going for when they started the project and it actually worked. To try crowd sourcing obscure information. People don't really want compensation, they just want to collaborate, and maybe hope that people who know something they don't will share too.

Official Mix.

Well, I ordered a martini in a fancy-pants restaurant over the weekend.  And, very surprisingly, it tasted pretty much like what I've been making in my apartment.  I mean, no I don't suppose I have the attunement to taste subtle differences yet, but me throwing gin and vermouth on ice is apparently pretty darn close to the real recipe.  I'd also kinda thought that it might taste a bit better with higher quality materials; notsomuch.  Pretty much the only thing that makes martinis taste good is more martinis.

Also, I dislike having to specify what kind of martini I want.  If you walk into a hardware and ask for a claw hammer, they shouldn't ask if you want it made out of clay and flavored like strawberries.  I said martini, not vodka martini, not appletini, not chocofusion-tini.  That means gin and olives, since I didn't mention a twist.  I know it tastes terrible but I'm developing a skill over here.

What Are You Still Talking About, Willis?

I rarely agree with Farhad. In fact, I normally vehemently disagree with him. But I always say its better to be loved than hated, but better to be hated than ignored. He's got readers and is generating a response so I guess he's doing something right. Most recently he seems to suggest that my tech savvy should be keeping me up at night.

No, not spending the wee hours in pointless IRC debates. He thinks I'm breaking the unspoken social contract of the internets by not loading ads that content providers have so lovingly chosen for me. I'm sorry, I meant to say "spread in a haphazard manner like bear traps covered with feces". Yeah, I don't think much about most of these ads.

The argument goes that since some online publications rely on advertising revenue to cover their costs, people using ad-blocking plug-ins, himself included, are like airline passengers taking fuel out of the 747 they intend to fly on. That is, it is unethical to block ads on pages you visit. Bull.

Firstly the author's metaphor doesn't really fly. We're not passengers siphoning fuel out of the plane, Slate is asking all the passengers who board to give them some fuel. There's a difference between stealing and not donating. If fees were mandatory there would be a pay wall.

Second, by his logic, not only are we unethical if we don't load the ads, Slate doesn't get paid if we don't click on the ads too. So we must all read and click on ads even if we are not interested. And having advertisers pay for click-throughs if we don't intend to buy anything isn't ethical either, so we all have to buy anything that advertises on a web page we read. (I don't have any paid advertising, although there is a store link right over there! ---->)

Farhad seems to blame us for not wanting to be constantly assailed and only briefly mentions (too little too late in my view) the concept of making advertising better as opposed to more invasive. As consumers have more control over their media and more options for gathering information advertisers need to find a way to make their messages not just "not annoying" but desirable.

There is a difference between tolerating advertising and seeking it out. Targeting messages is a good first step, but as algorithms progress I may end up seeing a sea of advertisements that are equally applicable. Which, if we're not careful, could lead to another 'most annoying ad' contest. The trick is to make consumers want to see your advertisement. If an ad man can make me back my Tivo up to see his message he's done his job. The rest is just filler.

• An ethical proposal for Firefox's popular ad-removal tool. - By Farhad Manjoo - Slate Magazine

Ball Status.

I just thought you'd want to know how my balls are doing today. The Reese's foil ball is coming along nicely, although I've finished the bag. Yes, that's nearly all the foil wrappers from a large bag of mini Reece's cups. Wider than a quarter, but somehow I think you'd be unimpressed if you saw how much candy I had to eat. Also a little depressing when compared to my Klondike bar foil ball which consists of the wrapper from a single Klondike bar. The grand experiment will continue when I get my hands on some more raw materials. Please send bags of mini Reese's cups to jeadly at DailyPlacebo.com. Donations are not tax deductible.

You're Training Who For What?

So I was never in the Boy Scouts. I never earned a merit badge, but I can tie some knots and I could start a fire if I needed to. So while I don't think enrollment is an essential, I certainly don't think its a harmful childhood activity.

But I just learned about the "Explorers" and I've got a pretty healthy case of the heeby jeebies. Essentially, its training 13.5 - 18 year olds, at least C students, to be border patrol agents. You know basic skills like infiltrating hazardous areas, chasing down illegal immigrants, or clearing an alley of gun-toting Arabs. “Before it was more about the basics,” said Johnny Longoria, a Border Patrol agent here. “But now our emphasis is on terrorism, illegal entry, drugs and human smuggling.” I don't know how I made it out of adolescence without these kinds of exercises.

Since the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001..., many posts have taken on an emphasis of fighting terrorism and other less conventional threats.

So because of something that happened when these kids were 6 years old they're being trained in anti-terrorism classes? I mean I guess its good these kids are finding a positive outlet for their semi-disturbing tendencies, but something deep inside me objects to a culture that lays such fear and responsibility on its youth. This isn't Sparta, we don't need to train warrior children. We revere our armed services because they make sacrifices to protect us; we don't all need to be trained in subduing combatants.

I've been a little bit shaky with the JROTC, but I'm all for it compared to this. Explorers Posts are basically individually managed cells of children being trained by local law enforcement, or whoever. They seem to make the point that this training could be useful if a school shooting were to occur but I'm inclined to believe that they probably wouldn't be armed on a typical school day. So unless the "Bruce Willis in Die Hard" course is part of the standard curriculum you're just teaching more kids how to operate weapons and clear a building. Don't officers usually have psych evaluations and stuff?

So basically we're projecting our fear and xenophobia, furthering the dissolution of American childhood and sanctioning escalation of violence and the use of maximal force.

“Put him on his face and put a knee in his back,” a Border Patrol agent explained. “I guarantee that he’ll shut up.”

I think "being a true blooded American" means something different in the Southwest.

• Explorer-Scouts Train in Post-9/11 Law Enforcement Methods - NYTimes.com

Holy Moses.

Uh, yeah, that's just gin and olives. I think; I can't really taste the olives yet. I'm still not sure what the hell vermouth is, but I don't think its getting the job done. Maybe I should take the suggesion of pre-freezing your bar ware more seriously. But nonetheless, its 5 o'clock, Martini time!  

• Deano

Tired Of Under Scrambled Eggs.

Oh yes, I went there.

This Banking Stuff Is Out Of Hand.

So I'm finished paying off my car this weekend. Which I thought was a good thing. Apparently my bank thinks that's a bad thing. I've had an account with them for 7 years and have never paid a fee for my checking account. Which is why I was surprised to find an 8 dollar monthly fee when I checked my account today. Apparently some time in the past two years they changed up all their rules and now have a bunch of different checking account levels. I don't care, I mostly just want somewhere for my paychecks to land before they get cut up and fed to various other entities. And the reason I could not care for so long was that if your accounts and loans totaled more than $10,000, they waived this $8 fee for swankified checking, or whatever its called. Now that I've paid back the loan, I no longer get a free ride. I'm pretty sure I don't use any of the features of this value added-status (aside from the .05% higher APY, woohoo!) so I called them up to see if I needed to downgrade or what, cause there's no damn way I'm paying you to hold my money.

Turns out there's another route into the gratis high-roller's checking club. You need to have direct depost, E-statements, and online bill pay enabled and they'll waive the monthly fee. Okay, I already do the first two cause I want less paper and I haven't done bill pay because it seems like adding a paper transaction for things I already do electronically. But they're sending the paper to someone else, so what do I care? (I actually hope that they can take care of most of these things electronically too) Whatever, at first glance this does seem marginally easier with all the payees on one page (after I set them all up) but I never really had any trouble remembering to pay three bills on three different websites. So I'm signed up for online bill pay which costs $5.75 a month but is free if you've got this super-platunim player's checking account that online bill pay makes free... seems nonsenically cyclical and backwards, are you sure I'm reading this right?

So essentially you'd charge me more money if I took advantage of fewer of your services, and less money if I make you do more work? Yeah, I know its really about locking me in to the institution to make changing banks more of a hassle. (which is why they weren't worried about me leaving when I had a loan) But honestly the only thing that made me think about leaving in 7 years was your 'incentive' to stay. Seems a little effed up if you ask me.

Foil Ball Status

Okay, I'm about half a bag in and this is what I've got so far. Its a little slower going than I'd first imagined. I've included a quarter for scale, as well as a pound for our UK readers.

Just So's You Know.

Am constructing foil ball from Reese's Mini Cups wrappers.  Updates to follow.

I am now 10,002 days old.  Feels very similar to 9,999.

Also, I may have had too many Reese's Cups today.

You're So Old.

Yo dog, apparently I'm not cool enough chastising the intertubes by calling them intertubes anymore.  There's a meme a week; nay a  meme a day to catch up on.  This must be exactly what happened to your grandparents.  They got excruciatingly tired of keeping up with the meaningless minutea on the twitter and lapsed into old age.  so while this Jalopnik explainer might be extremely useful, it should also be depressing.  Because nomatter how with the times you though you were, you're not.  You can't help but lag behind.  And if you're not, you need to get a life, or at least something to do between 1 and 4.   7-11 might be hiring?

• Jalopnik- yo dawg i herd you- explainer
  

Spot Of Tea, You Jackass?

You are goddamn idiots. Pardon my french. First off, you've been talking about tea-bagging for the last two months with virtually no idea what you're saying. (aside from the testicle thing) The Boston Tea Party was a protest about taxation by a foreign government that afforded no representation to the populace. You are represented, we had elections, you just lost. So if you're unhappy with the way our government is spending tax money, you can write to your representative or wait till his term is up. But know that while there may be 10,000 of you that object, there's millions more that trust our elected public officials. So the entire symbol for your "movement" is wrong. Like Jon Stewart said "You're the minority now, its supposed to taste like a sh*t taco."

Furthermore, if you wanted to have the Boston Tea Party's effect, you would find some way to lower your taxable income. I'm guessing buying teabags to dump on the ground as part of a grass-roots protest doesn't qualify as a deduction. So you might just end up working less, giving away more or just not paying your taxes and accepting whatever consequences that entails. Oh, you're not that upset? Well eff off.

And the slate article points out that your political label is becoming quite outdated, especially as Democratic priorities are made forefront. "Protests by definition oppose the status quo, which conservatism is supposed to defend. Protesting for conservatism is, to borrow a phrase, like fucking for virginity." You're gonna have to think of something else to call yourselves soon, I'm thinking something along the lines of "goddamn idiots". I'll see you out there next month with your "I object to protesting" picket signs.

Next up, you object to "this administration's" wasteful government spending. Yeah, it sucks that all the damn banks collapsed and that they made so many bad loans for so long. But have you really forgotten about the last 8 years already? The hands off 'regulation' that allowed this to happen in the first place and the $700 billion Bush urged Congress to approve before he left office? And how much money that we didn't have was spent on a discretionary war? And the "pork filled budget" was your effing representatives trying to spend federal money in your districts. Creating jobs and paying Americans in tough times. Plus we get new roads, smart electrical grids and renewable energy out of the deal. How is rallying behind an expensive, unwinnable, unjust war 'patriotic' and re-investing in America with socially beneficial programs not? I guess I didn't get that memo.

After all of 4 months in office, you're so tired of the cleanup effort that you just can't keep silent any more? You're blaming the chemo instead of the cigarettes. In all honestly too many Americans have been playing with pretend money, up to our eyeballs in debt. It never really made sense to me, but I've always thought that you should be able to pay for what you buy. We (through the government) are finally paying for the reckless lending and spending that we've been taking part in for the past decade. That's the price of the new American Dream of "something for nothing". Maybe a new depression will jolt us back into the strangely coherent motto of "work hard and live happy" that made us a world power to begin with.

• Conservative protesters hold a "tea party" without any tea bags. - By Christopher Beam - Slate Magazine

Breaking News for 2007!

VeeDub, you are about 4 years late on this noise.  Don't get me wrong, you make great little cars and it tickles my fancy that you've got consumer diesels popped in some of them.  But I considered buying a diesel 2 years ago when I got my car and there was no where to put your hands on one.  If you'd been pushing a little harder you could have as many tdi rolling around out there as there are priusesss.

I'm for diversification of our energy consumption, which means that some folk will still be using fossil fuels when it makes more sense for most drivers to rock the electric.  So efficient engines are great news, but I get the feeling that you're distracted.  You'd better be working on an electric powerplant to plunk into one of these buggers too.

• VW forecasts 30% of 2010 Golf sales in US will be for TDI

Pirate Disambiguation.

Yar.  There's been a lot of pirate talk lately.  Maybe its cause there are more high profile incidents or maybe there's finally been enough media coverage, but I think it may be because we're finally getting pissed off about it.  In fact there's been some (online) debate about changing the term for digital "piracy" because comparing copying "American Pie 6, The Pie's Revenge" to shooting rpgs at food aid freighters and ransoming hostages isn't exactly fair.  Of course there's a split in commercial digital pirates who're making money from their excercises and the regular digital pirates who object to some machination of the industry they're standing against.

The Internet has had a virtual love-affair with two kinds of piracy, starting out with copying software that was prohibitively expensive.  It was the lone web navigator sticking it to the crown and playing by his own rules.  Then came the old school pirate meme whereby we romanticized historical piracy.  These swarthily dressed rapscallions of our imagination were free spirits who refused to conform.  They were symbols of independence and defiance that made for kick-ass theme parties.  They magically diverged from the most fundamental doctrines like rape, pillage, murder, plunder and rape.  So when we think of an old school pirate our minds conjure this Renaissance fair character, Jack Sparrow or Westley.  I guess that's the difference between an old school pirate and a historical pirate; throat slashing.

And then of course there are these modern pirates who are more like amphibian South American guerrillas.  They swoop in, take some hostages, get the pay off and swoop away for the next score.  Private energy companies have been dealing with this for years, just not on the ocean.  They're no pirates in that they don't want the things they capture.  Bank robbers want the money in the vault.  Pirates want the cargo on the ship.  Modern pirates are kidnappers who hold a ship hostage and flee in dinghies. There are all kinds of justifications for what they do, but its getting harder and harder to believe there is some kind of honor in their trade.  And I gotta say, I'm surprisingly okay with shooting them in the head.  I mean, this is exactly the opposite of my view on 'insurgents'.  We create more hostility and more combatants for every military action.  Maybe the insurgents and the kidnappers are more similar than I think but it doesn't seem like there's much ideology behind "first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women".

So there you go, my take on piracy. 

1. Digital (chinese and regular)
   
2. Old School (fantasy and historical)
3. Modern (kidnappers)

• What Kind Of Pirate Are You?: Pics, Videos, Links, News
• First Barbary War - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Variable Whatnow?

Oh Amazon, say it ain't so.  You've bucked the system for so long now, offering mp3 format and 89 cent tracks.  Its honestly easier for me to buy music from you than from iTunes.  (that program is so slow...)  But now it seems you've caught the "scarce goods" bug that's been going around the music industry.  Its no surprise that apple got it, I mean, if you go as hot and heavy as those dudes have been going...

Anyway, let me try to explain this.  Songs are not scarce.  CD might become scarce, but when you're just sending bits, copies of a file, there's no way you're gonna run out.  Unless you use all the electricity in the world, but at that point I think you've done pretty well for yourself and we've got other problems on the table.  Okay, so jacking up the prices on sought after tracks will only serve to make them less desirable.

• Music Industry Folks Worried About iTunes Variable Pricing | Techdirt

You've managed to get yourselves into a position where people are willing to pay for something that used to be free.  Maybe you scared them into playing by the rules with gratuitous lawsuits, maybe *shock* you made it easier to find what people are looking for,  maybe you stoped treating your customers like criminals, or maybe the stars have aligned and you are infallible.  Whatever the reason, you've got a client base, and a magical store that demands virtually no overhead on a per-unit basis.  Don't hike the price (based on artificial demand) and drive down sales.  If anything you should be lowering prices to drive up gross sales.

Just so you know, I will not be buying any $1.29 tracks.  Ever.  Haven't you heard?  Its a depression and people are cutting back on non-essential items.  First on the list, baseless 30 cent surcharges on non-tangible goods.

• Variable pricing spreads to Amazon, Lala, Rhapsody, Wal-Mart - Ars Technica

I Got It!

After getting so pumped up about google voice I had to sit and simmer till it was my turn to get upgraded. But the time finally came and it looks pretty snazzy. My google contacts are all there instead of my grandcentral ones, which is great because i never put much effort into my GC list. Also on the great list is the "call presentation" option. This is the message that's played when you answer a call from grandcentral. Your caller Id will give the caller's number, but when you answer a voice tells you who's calling and lists options to answer, send to voicemail, or listen in. This is a nice feature when you're not sure who's calling, but kind of a pain when I thought I was answering a call from a friend and have to hit 1 to actually talk to them. So now I can set either by group or individual whether I want to hear that prompt of just immediately answer when I pick up. Pretty sweet. The only downside is that if they do go to voicemail, it'll be my phone's vm, which won't transcribe and email me. Anyway, I'm still testing it out, but so far it looks pretty well thought out and the new SMS feature totally works. So your GV number now works like you'd expect a phone number would.

Here's a widget that'll let you leave me a voicemail:

(keep it clean)

Talk Googly To Me.

Sweet! Looks like Google is finally ready to transition Grand Central into a grown-up Google app. Its gonna be called Google Voice and is open to everyone who already has a grand central account. What? You didn't sign up when I told you to? Oh, well then you'll just have to wait like a sucker till it gets rolled out to the plebes. I guess you can take a look to see what you're missing.

• Google Voice-Features

So, most excitingly, there's a voice mail transcripts feature. Which I assume will just plunk peoples' VM into your gmail inbox with all the other messages you care about. Which seems pretty cool and even more exciting when you imagine the kind of Android implementation this service will get. So it looks like someone's realized that messaging is messaging, and I don't care what medium is used. The less places I have to check for new communications the better. Throw them all in the same inbox and use filters to sort if necessary.

It'll also be nice when they integrate my gmail contacts list with the Grand Central list that I never maintained all that well. Google, keeping your informations sorted and updated and happy.

• Official Google Blog: Here comes Google Voice

P.S. What's up with the sample video? "I left the secret plans on your desk?" Sounds a little shady... Are they finally ready to launch that space laser?

P.P.S. Still waiting on my upgrade link in Grand Central, apparently it could take days for the roll-out to finish. Why did I get so excited this morning?

• google voice blog

Hey, You Suck.

So I got an email today from the Democratic Party about their plans to respond to Rush Limbaugh. Basically they're taking out an ad that says "you suck".

Last week, I asked if you had a message you'd like to send Rush Limbaugh. The response was overwhelming. We received tens of thousands of submissions, and we picked the top five:

• "Americans didn't vote for a Rush to failure"
  
• "Hope and change cannot be Rush'd"
  
• "Failure is not an option for America's future"
  
• "We can fix America, just don't Rush it"
  
• "Rush: Say yes to America"

Now, we're putting it up for a vote. Decide which slogan Rush will see in his home town.

The slogan with the most votes will be put on a billboard where Rush can't miss it.

Now, I did not submit an entry, but I'd like to throw out a couple more options that I feel would better express the sentiment we're after.

• "Rush should be neither seen nor heard."
• "Hey Rush, shut the fuck up."
• "Sorry Rush, we'd invite you in but the rotunda isn't big enough to fit your fat head. And we hate you."
  
• "Radio is for losers."
• "We took a vote. Rush, you're off the island."
• "We're considering legislation to rename this dude 'Douche-bag' Limbaugh."
  

How much does a billboard cost anyway?

Tax Math.

There's been quite a lot of arguing about budgets and tax plans lately, and its been going on since before the primary elections. It may seem confusing to watch all the contradictory claims hurled about and in the end you feel like somebody needs to get called a liar. But such is semantics, you can have two seemingly opposite statements (Ben loves bananas. Ben hates bananas.) that with an untold context (I'm talking about two different Bens) are both true.

So when listening to the President's plan to lower taxes (for most people) and the Republicans' claims that Obama will raise taxes for all Americans, its maybe helpful to examine the subtext of what each side really means. Here's the AP breaking it down:

THE CLAIM: "The president's budget increases taxes on every American, and does so during a recession," said Rep. Dave Camp of Michigan, the top Republican on the tax-writing House Ways and Means Committee.  "Let's just be honest and call it a carbon tax that will increase taxes on all Americans who drive a car, who have a job, who turn on a light switch, pure and simple," House Minority leader John Boehner, R-Ohio, said of Obama's plan to impose a tariff on polluters.

THE FACTS: Under Obama's plan, tax cuts enacted under President George W. Bush for families making more than $250,000 would be allowed to expire in 2011, increasing the top income tax rate from 35 percent to 39.6 percent. The top capital gains tax rate would jump from 15 percent to 20 percent.  Middle- and low-income taxpayers - 95 percent of Americans, by the president's calculations - would receive a new tax credit

Obama also would impose fees on greenhouse gas producers, including power plants that burn fossil fuels, by auctioning off carbon pollution permits. The goal is to reduce the emissions blamed for global warming. The fees would raise a projected $646 billion over 10 years.  Obama aides don't dispute that consumers will get the passed-along costs. In testimony to the House Ways and Means Committee in September, White House budget chief Peter Orszag, then the director of the Congressional Budget Office, said companies that have to pay the emissions fees "would not ultimately bear most of the costs of the allowances. Instead, they would pass them along to their customers (and their customers' customers) in the form of higher prices."  The added cost to consumers is meant as an incentive to reduce energy consumption.  "If people don't change how they use energy, then they will face higher costs for energy," Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner said Tuesday.

That emphasis is mine, but that's the real crux of the matter.  The Republicans may be right that it'll cost more to keep living the way we do under Obama's new tax plan.  And that's the goddamn point, to raise the cost of living for lifestyles that are unsustainable.  Sometimes it seems like conservatives would rather keep burning oil and coal until they're so scarce that the markets force consumers into an alternative, why walk off a cliff if you can see it coming?

Imagine your buddy suggesting you stop drinking tequila before you pee your pants, vomit on the floor and drive his car through a Starbucks window.  You don't really want to, and you're not making sense, so maybe he provides a little incentive upside your head.

Money-grubbers: Obama's just trying to motivate in a language you speak, hitting you in the wallet so that you'll understand its cheaper to use renewable resources and consume less energy.  Or maybe you'd prefer if Obama came to your house and punched you in the face every week until you stopped polluting so much.

• The Associated Press:FACT CHECK-Obama 'tax hikes' a matter of words
  

Bottled Puke.

Read through a few "articles" of this blatant astro-turf for the bottled water industry.  They've got peppy responses to a variety of reasons people shouldn't be using disposable plastic bottles.  Here's a little summary of one:

Solid Waste:
plastic bottles are only .3 percent of our solid waste
nothing in a landfill will biodegrade anyway
we have plenty of space for more landfills

See?  There's no reason not to use plastic bottles!  This kinda logic keeps rolling in:

Footprints?:
plastic bottles don't effect global warming
we couldn't change global warming if we wanted to
plastic is cheaper to produce and transport than glass or metal
we should make money while we can and adapt to climate change when we need to

Sweet Samson, I wanna smack somebody.  I've got no problem with plastic or bottles.  Its excess that's the problem; packaging and transporting a product that is already piped to virtually every building in our country is excess.  Sure, brining potable water to regions that lack it is worthwhile, but enabling this disposable culture is wasteful and disgraceful.

There's even a petition (that 351 people have signed) espousing the virtues of bottle water including its vacuous nutrition information and the fact that donations of bottled water help victims of disasters.

It makes me feel dirty all over.  I wish they had a comment section where I could vomit everywhere.  But they don't seem to have any real user feedback method in place.  At least I can't figure it out.  Odd.  They do have contact information for the Competitive Enterprise Institute, a DC "think" tank obviously responsible for the repulsive content.

Basically they think that government regulation is unnecessary in the commercial market and consumers should buy whatever they want.  Sounds good until you remember that government regulation is generally meant to protect consumers from the kinds of corporations that fund CEI. 

They seem to take issue with publicly funded campaigns urging people to drink municipal tap water, but see no problem with corporations funding third parties to discourage the regulation of their industries.  Assholes.

Check Under Your Bed Tonight.

I'm not really sure why this picture just screams "Khaaan!" to me. I mean apparently Kirk wasn't even raising his arms when he screamed it in Wrath Of Kahn.

In fact the more I look at it I'm sure its a "Fuck you I'm an anteater" photo. Although maybe he's saying "Fuck you this is my good side".

Anyway, this dude is a Giant rat caught in China. We're talking 6 pounds with 12 inch tail and 1 inch teeth. A big creepy crawly. I bet he'd give a normal cat a run for his money.

I would not want to run into this dude in a dark alley, much less jump on top of it while others encircled it as this slightly insane Chinese man did. He then stuffed it in a sack and took it home. Yeah.

• Environmental Graffiti: Giant Rat Caught in China!

Now That's Entertainment.

A metrobus driver decided to take care of a little business during his run today. He apparently stopped the bus, walked off, and punched a McGruff character in the face. I'm not really sure what would provoke such an action. I mean, yeah I've seen people being mean to mascots, but they don't usually stop vehicles or take time off work to do so. Anyway the officer wearing the McGruff costume called in the assault and the perp got nabbed. He said it was to be funny, but I've got a feeling its cause he's off his nutt.

Note to self: people wearing McGruff suits are usually cops.

• Why Did a Metrobus Driver Punch McGruff the Crime Dog? - DCist: Washington DC News, Food, Arts & Events

Irk At Work.

Irk is an odd word. Roll it around in your mouth a little. Nice and succinct, but being so compact and quickly drawn, it seems to somewhat lack the punch I feel it deserves. Merriam-Webster says:

irk (ˈərk):to make weary, irritated, or bored.

I do not generally think 'wearied' or 'bored' when I think of 'irked'. Irritated, yes, but in a way that makes the bottom of your heart quiver a smidgen in your chest. Your lips may purse, but you are not moved to action. And its this lack of response that makes irking such a potent phenomenon. The thought rattles around in your head, landing in a pile and attaching to exact copies of itself from each past occurrence of the irk. There they jumble, with no outlet or exhaust. Perhaps one day they will grow into an annoyance to be acted upon, dealt with and resolved, but for now they are too trivial. They reside, waiting only for the next worthless addition. Dictionary.com says:

irk: to irritate, annoy, or exasperate.

Now we're on the right track. I like exasperate's tone. But just a small exasperation, one that does not quite qualify. I also envision an exasperation as somewhat of a surprise or shock. This was an unexpected occurrence, almost an unbelievable annoyance; whereas an irk is an almost frequent event, verging on routine. It has happened before, and in all likelihood, it will happen again. Soon. "Aggravate" is listed under the thesaurus.com definition which may be a better fit as far as future perfect concepts are concerned.

But there is a violence to that word that has no business in irk. Whether in transgression or response, 'aggravate' bears not just the threat of action, but the promise of aggression. Likewise with 'irritate', though less threatening, it seems to convey a distinctly physical meaning. Toes may be irritated by shoes, but never irked. Perhaps because irritations heal, whereas irks are never tended to. Irks remain abstract, locked in the psyche. Poked, prodded and irritated by a non-existent finger.

Maybe that's the problem, my adjectives are centered around touch or sound. Maybe irks are smells and tastes. 'Distaste' is good but too obvious, and too easily equated to 'dislike' which does not properly express depth. The overall sensation of an unpleasant lingering flavor may be close, but tastes are too easily avoided. An irk is perceived and produced in the same instant, there are no secondary symptoms to predict its arrival. 'Repugnance' seems like an olfactory irk, but again, it is too strong. Something repugnant would be avoided, even of one could not see it. I'm not very good at thinking with my nose or tongue, so this route may be personally limited.

I try to think ethereally and arrive with 'haunt'. That's nice. There is a good amount of futility in resistance, it is repetitive and incorporeal. But like the others I find problems with this synonym. A haunting thought may be the same one drifting around again and again, as opposed to instances of the same irksome object. A pile of deciduous leaves, mental disregard allows them to and clutter and rustle.

I know this may be a futile exercise, since the word for what I'm describing already exists and is, in fact, 'irk'. At least that's what it means to me, so hopefully now, if not before, you realize how much thought and contemplation have gone into the term. So when I tell you that something irks me, I want you to understand my full meaning.


It irks me when people are told to disregard an alarm for a blanket period of time. Case in point, my building routinely places signs on all entrances instructing occupants to disregard the fire alarm today as they are being tested, worked on, etc. In fact they have laminated the signage since this happens so frequently. Excuse me? Aren't the alarms there for a reason? What if there's a fire in the building? Oh, you'll just run around telling everyone there's a fire, good, great. Why isn't that the default system every day? It should be illegal to instruct people en mass to ignore public safety alarms for anything but a concise period. This happened at my conference last week as well. We initially evacuated the building after the lights flashed and a very loud and scary alarm sounded. Later after everyone was readmitted, we were instructed via Public Address to ignore any further alarms that day. I understand the likelyhood of an incident after a false alarm may be fairly low, but these devices are meant to stimulate a response. Much like car alarms, these false fire alarms (and non-evacuations) dilute emergency procedures and make people's first response to question the alarm's validity.

The System Is Down.

Now this is nice. I like more of an explanation than "the service was out; now its not" and the incident report gives a bit more detail. Although its a little vague about exactly what happened, you get the jist that they had a bug in their server load sharing algorithm, so when one was taken off-line for maintenance, too many people were redirected to another. The "multiple downstream overload conditions" sounds like a neat cascading system of propagating errors. But maybe I'm a big dork.

• Apps Status Dashboard

P.S. The System Is Down is a nice beat for all your lightswitch rave needs.

P.S.S. I totally didn't notice this outtage and I'm on the gmails like all effing day.

Spirited Away.

Wow, this reminds me of old-timey villians who kidnap orphans and make them work changing bobbins in textile factories.  Or maybe the camp counselors who have campers produce sweatshop knock-off handbags and sell them near urine strewn underpasses. 

Two PA judges are being charged with taking kick-backs for sending children to juvenile detention centers since 2003.  It seems these judges had a tendency to skip right over probation or leniency for first time offenders, and now their victims know why.  This kind of corruption makes me want to whack a big old fat-white-dude-in-a-suit piñata.  Wait; would that be an effigy, or does it have to be burned to constitute and effigy?

• Judges Plead Guilty in Scheme to Jail Youths for Profit - NYTimes.com

Ummm...

That doesn't look good at all...

Immoral?

There's nothing quite like surveling people when you're drunk. I mean not caring if they see you watching them. This dude is trying to "hit" something tonight, and it looks like he's got a pretty good prosptect. Although there's a close second off to the left, and honsetly, she wants it more. btw... We just finished a conversation about how he can't sleep through sirens, and will be awake anyway...

Here's johnny...

I know this is all out of order unless you subscribe to the dp rss feed, so scroll down a bit to figure out what the hell i'm talking about.

Also, does anyone subscribe to the dp rss feed? I know i discourage it with my harsh demeanor, but i won't really come to your house and teabag you if you do. Its good for the environment?

Anyway this is the faucet that is in-freaking-sane. I mean he watches you no matter where you are! Maybe it makes people feel more self conscious, but seriously when you design a fixture like this you know its happening, right?  Its not an accident.

Someone wants me to think a little smiley face is watching me wash my hands, which I'm fine with.  But I can't help but wonder about the kinds of faces he makes at people who flush the urinal and return straight to the party.   Do not anger the sink fixtures,  they can cause unimaginable misery.   Seriously, just wash your damn hands. Apparently conferences make me think of restroom etiquette.

http://www.dailyplacebo.com/2006/08/sojourn.html
http://www.dailyplacebo.com/2007/01/reverse-anthropomorphism.html

I'm not obsessed with john.

Seroiusly, I haven't spent the entire time in the pisser, but this is a little bit freaky. You know that old tale about the portrait that tracks your gaze across a room? Well feast your eyes on this bad boy; whoever designed this faucet must have known what he was doing. Close up to follow...

The watering hole.

Okay, so this is really amusing. I'm away from the socializing to make a phone call (and cause I hate socializing) and I'm observing an interesting trend. Guys are walking around this corner for the restroom and they invariably see the big-ass men's room sign. However the newbies all turn left once in the alcove, although the true entrance lies to the right. So its a pretty easy categorization. Newly drunk men walk past, turn left and then walk past again to get to the John. Guys who've had more to drink round the corner and head straight to their destination; they've been there before. And guys who are eight drinks in are standing across the hall taking pictures and blogging the whole event...

Too much info

You don't want to know this... But the dude in the stall next to me just tore the place apart.  I'm a little jealous of how quickly he completed the transaction, but at the same time I feel a little bad for snickering when it went down.  Oh well.  And now you know.

Sweet Raptor-Riding-Jesus.

Just take a hott second to soak this in. [[hott second]] Now consider how many of your neighbors don't believe in evolution. And look back up at that diagram and tell me it doesn't scare you a little.

• Evolution Less Accepted in U.S. Than Other Western Countries, Study Finds

Of course that's crazy, the real whack-jobs we have to worry about will deny the existence of dinosaurs altogether. If they're willing to concede thunder lizards, they're open to conversations about facts and are reasonable people.

Just to be clear, I've got no issues with thoughts of a groovy old dude with a beard throwing down gracious love from a cloud. But if you're of the disposition to find creationism mutually exclusive with the refinement of genetics by natural selection as evidenced by fossil record and a variety of thriving organisms on our planet, then you might should head right on back to grade school for a do-over.

Residential Freeway.

This is a lot like the articles I was all up ons a while ago from Europe. There were various studies and traffic control designers that found car drivers would slow down if the environment felt like slower speeds were required. And the best way to convey that is not with a speed limit sign, but with other visual cues. In one study, they found removing all lane lines and signals worked best. Hang on, let me see if I can find that mess...

• Daily Placebo: I'm Ignoring Traffic Lights From Now On.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about. September 2006. If you didn't read it, go ahead and take a minute; I'll wait. Yeah? Good stuff right? Well it really hit home when I read this article in GGW about Conn ave. I commuted up and down that road for a year, so I can personally attest that its a six lane highway out of the city that happens to run through a certain moneyed neighborhood. Now, I understand that Chevy Chase doesn't want high velocity traffic running right through the middle of it, but maybe they should design a road that feels like the speed limit is 30, instead of slapping a lower limit on a faster road and sending tickets to every car that drives down it.

Traffic slows just south of Chevy Chase Circle (in DC) because there are cross streets, shopping centers and pedestrians. That seems like a much more effective control measure than white signs and speed cameras disguised as trashcans. Unless your real goal is benjamins, not safely.

• Design for speed, collect the dough - Greater Greater Washington

Machines Making Art.

If you hadn't heard, the writers guild is stepping up to become the next artistic representative to be despised by the populous is exists because of. Of course its got a long way to go to be an RIAA or an MPAA, but you gotta start somewhere. And objecting to the kindle II's ability to interpret written text into an audible format is a good start. Apparently they thing the rights to read a book and the rights to read a book out loud should be sold separately.

Actually no, that's not fair, they're willing to admit you're allowed to read a book to whoever you want in a private and non-commercial setting. But they are taking issue with an automated reader that they percieve as an infringement into their audio book market. Which is of course ridiculous.

I had two thoughts about this today.

First, what are the standards in music? Buying sheet music of a song is not the same as buying a CD of a musician playing the song. But you certainly have the right to play the sheet music at home on a piano. Do you also have the right to have a synthesizer play back the song? I think so. Is that really viable competition to (and infringement of) the professionally produced and artist performed version? I wouldn't think so.

Second, what if there was an automatic writing machine that could create works of text with virtually no human input? Would it put human authors out of business or would the Writer's Guild assert that human authors brought something more to the table than machines could?

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that the audio books are performances of written material. They're also selling the source material which is essentially instructions for creating private performances, whether human or not. If they're upset about losing some income, the Writers Guild should be focusing on value they could add rather than trying to limit the options of its customers.

• Authors Guild Digs Itself In Deeper Concerning Kindle Text-To-Speech

When GM Veggies Dream.

If anything says happy valentine's day better than asparagus wrapped in bacon, I don't want to hear about it.

Throw It On The Pile.

So I haven't really been able to tell that Helio was bought up by Virgin Mobile, aside from the various tech articles telling me it had happened. My phone still uses Sprint and Verizon towers, I still go to helio.com to check my account and my auto-pay schema is intact. So here's the first change that Helio customers have seen since the takeover.

We want to continue to keep you up-to-date on important changes like these now that Helio is Virgin Mobile. Your nights will automatically start two hours earlier, at 7PM. That's right, you'll get to enjoy unlimited talk time from 7PM - 7AM, Monday through Friday, and all weekend long. To get this extra talk time, all you need to do is keep using your Virgin Mobile service.

Huh... okay. I mean, I don't really come close to using the 400 minutes I get every month anyway (54 so far this month, which is pretty high), but if you want to throw in a bunch more free hours I guess that's cool. What would really get me hot and buttered would be a 100 minute plan for 30 bucks or something. Then I might care about the free night and weekends you're spreading around like tax breaks at a GOP rally.

Touch Me Twice.

I could see Apple being the type of company that restricts users and intellectual "property" to keep them tethered to its own devices. Which is what most lends credence to this rumor of Apple asking Google to remove multi-touch from its Android OS. And that's what it looks like happened, the feature was implemented and then commented out of the release. Although its not that big a deal if you really care about it. Android is open source, just uncomment the feature and run your own build. The real question is whether Android developers will anticipate an audience of "hacked" multi-touch users and include functions to take advantage.

Some people raise flags that Apple could seemingly command partner Google, and rather than risk the fickle reprisals in which Apple is known to engage. Yeah, that's kinda silly, but I'd rather keep my Google brand iPod apps and the G1 not be tied up in litigation, so I'm fine with Google's decision. I think the real problem is that Apple thinks it owns multi-touch to begin with. Folks have been working on multi-touch since 1982, and sure, Apple brought a device to maket with the technology after buying up a company that made then since 1999. But come on, using more than one finger to interact with a device? How in the hell is that not obvious? Hmmm... I've made a touch screen that responds when I touch it with my finger... I have ten fingers... I guess I'm all done here.

And even if you are an Apple fanboy, this shouldn't seem cool because now instead of dreaming up that next great feature, Apple can sit around on the multi-touch hill, making sure no one else tries to climb it.

• Did Google Leave Multi-Touch Out Of Android At Apple's Behest? | Techdirt

Pocket Clouds.

So google powered up a microsoft exchange server so big it would eat your car and now people with exchange enabled devices can sync their contacts and calendars as if they were big-wig fancy-pants business-types. That means iPhones, blackberry, etcetera folks. Now, this was one of the good reasons that I was so partial to an Android powered phone, so you might say that this is google shooting a hole in its own foot. But on the other hand google isn't the kind of company that restricts users to drive them towards a more lucrative business model that they don't really need. (*Ahem* Verizon...)

Anyway, if you've bought into gmail real hard, like most semi-savy folks have, there's a good chance you could be convinced to manage your contacts there if the changes would propagate to all your other devices.  So its in google's interest to have you using their web apps no matter your handset of choice.

Extra bonus nugget:  I've been managing my contacts in gmail for quite a while and the thing that irked me most was when people would get added under multiple email addresses.  There was no way to merge them and it was a pain to fix.  Well that's not a problem any more.  So go spruce up your list and get on the train.  I've got my contacts and calendar rocking on my ipod and its awesome.

Also, turn on your google latitude account.  No one cares that much about where you are, so stop freaking out.  Although I think there's a mode lacking in the privacy settings, the old I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

That's it.  Tech guru out.

• Google Mobile - Sync

They're not THAT good.

Ummm... Really?  Did the onion write this article in January of 2001?  I feel like they're just messing with me.

• Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Second Impressions.

Last year I got a loaner TL from Acura when I took my car to the dealer for some work. It was nice, but not, like, amazing. Today I got an 09 TL, and let me say, that car is a little sick. I wasn't too sure about the wireless key whatchamadeally at first, but now I'm pretty sure I like just walking over to the car, opening the door and pressing the go button. (it adjusts the seat to the key id's preferences too) The back-up camera is a little bit of over-kill, but I could see it being useful in certain situations. But it does tilt the side mirrors for reversing, which I love. The nav system is pretty sweet too, once you figure out the basics, and live traffic updates is awesome. I usually have to get out my phone for that noise. But best of all for this weather is the traction control that keeps the wheels from spinning when I lay down the I-don't-know-how-many horsepower all over the slushy blacktop. There's also a little light that blinks when I go around corners really quickly too, but I can't see what it says, I'm busy looking elsewhere. I still love my car, but quite honestly this car is way nicer and I'll miss a couple things when its gone. Too bad they don't make it in a two door on a civic-like platform. I just don't need this much car.

Bangwagon Badgering.

So my new favorite pointless blog about nothing, fuckyoupenguin, has a post today about snow leopards. Since I recently acquainted myself with the intimate workings of the Panthera genus, I felt compelled to add to the accusations. I'm just so clever that I wanted to share with you.

My comment is reposted below:

And what fuck is up with your scientific classification? Its in your damn name... leopard. You are clearly a sub-species of the... wait for it... LEOPARD! You and your freakshow cousins in the Neofelis Genus. What, you think you're so special cause you can't roar? That's ridiculous. I can't roar either, snow leopard, do I get my own genus and species? No. So get your ass over to Panthera Pardus before I really get angry. We're done here.

TL AI.

What? You're not gonna park yourself? I see you looking out the back, sizing up the situation. You're in reverse, idling in the right direction. What? You can't turn the wheel a few degrees. Come on TL, I thought you were a fancy driving machine and you can't even get it together enough to back into a spot. You've got little flashing light and power control protocols that spring into action when you're sliding sideways, or when your go pedal is pressed too hard on slick surfaces. You're trying to tell me you can't handle this one, tiny, last task? Pff. I don't even know why you have a fancy key that's not a key and uber complicated voice activated menus that you repeat to me in a nauseatingly accentless drone. Oh, fine. I'll goose the gas and match up the lines. Actually I think I've played this video game before. Atari? Virtual boy? Something...

Picture of the Day.

I hope this dude burns.  Hard.

In Barack Obama's America...

In Barack Obama's America there's no booing.
In Barack Obama's America sno-cones are free on weekends.
In Barack Obama's America pigeons poop rainbows and gold.Well that was crazy. I mean, it was really a spectacle like I'd imagined. Although, in retrospect, I hadn't really imagined it all that thoroughly. Two million people walking through the streets is something that I just had to experience before I could conceive. Its not just that there are streets filled with people. All the streets are filled. I've never thought of people as a liquid before. It is not some grand parade, everyone is going somewhere different. No one is really sure where though. Everyone is trying to beat the crowd and the crowd control. And every time you get to where you think the crowd won't be, its beaten you there.But don't let me make it sound competitive or angry. Everyone is smiling and happy. Everyone is helpful. Sort of. "Do you know where you're going?" "No idea!" was a common exchange. At one point a stalled crowd was swelling against a chain link and it gradually transitioned into shaking the fence. I could imagine the fence falling with a sigh and the surge of people into the empty construction area (not a security area, just a street rehab effort) But just then a woman yelled "Barack Obama wouldn't want you doing that" and they stopped. They behaved. They were not a mob, but a group of proud and jubilant people. He will be a better president for us, and we have to be better for him.
I don't think I've seen more law enforcement personnel in the entirety of my life. I also have an accurate image of what the world would be like if black towncars, suburbans and police cruisers and were the only automobiles. And they all had lights and sirens. We made it through the maze of bus barricades, closed entrances and the no-walk zone that city thoroughfare Pennsylvania Ave had become. We were on the mall, a feat whose feasibility I'd begun to doubt. As we climbed the hill of the Washington monument the east half of the mall stretched before us a sea of people. All waiting watching and drinking in the spectacle that we all were. We huddled like penguins against the wind, clapped like seals with our gloved hands and cheered like people who finally wintessed the fruits of their peaceful democracy.So here we go. A new era of hope and prosperity. Of compassionate and constitutional government. Of science and stewardship. I spose its also the end of me being able to complain willy-nilly about the ridiculous state of politics. This is the best thing I can imagine happening for our country and the world. But this is only the start. The next step is ourselves. The policies and practices will change and we will need to change too. Make this a better time to be an American. Lend a hand to your fellow people, and together we will make this a great nation to be proud of again.In Barack Obama's America people help each other instead of being left to help themselves.

How Retro!

Here's a blast from the past. Anyone remember Hott Spotting? Its been quite a while and I'd actually shut down the submission email address (hottspot at dp dot com) so Dee S Nutts #2 had to send this one to me by carrier pigeon. Its some kinda fancy-pants Lamborghini with "I can park in super thin spaces and still get out" doors. Actually looks a lot like the one I saw in London a while ago.

Here It Comes.

CRAP! I can't believe I snoozed on the chance to jump and cheer for faux-bama.

• Inauguration Dress Rehearsal Looks Almost Like the Real Thing - NYTimes.com

Tiny Vacation.

I've been meaning to get into some tilt-shift effects for a while now. Basically that means creating an artificial depth of field using post processing techniques. But up until recently it just seemed like a lot of work. Not so with tiltshiftmaker.com just upload your image and select the focal band. Of course, its pretty simple so you'll need to be laid out correctly. Quite a lot of my photos are already macro with healthy doses of DOF, so there's a limited selection of shots it'll work with. Here's a few of the best ones I've come across so far.