Wow, talk about dedication to a stupid idea. I mean, don't get me wrong, ladies look nice in heels, but sometimes they just cause train-wrecks. And apparently they don't feel so good either. Luckily someone's figured out how to inject collagen into the bottom of your feel as a fix for one of the issues. And I thought women had a higher pain tolerance. Turns out they're just not as clever as me. Having a medical procedure instead of buying comfortable shoes just sounds silly.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Dangle
"The game of skill and wits."
Summary:
Dangle is a game played with two to eight people using up to four frisbees and at minimum 6 bottled beers.
Minimum Requirements
- two people
- one disc
- six bottled beers
- open space at least 60 feet in length and 20 feet in width.
Recommended Requirements
- three or four people
- three or four discs
- 18 bottled beers
- groomed grass surface 80 feet long and 35 feet wide.
Glossary:
Areas
field- the loosely defined in-play area of the game; a reasonable proximity to the game.
ground- the surface of the earth or an extension of a structure or plant emerging from the earth.
side- one of two areas on the field where players stand, keep their stores, set the triforces, and execute their throws.
opposing side- the side that is currently being thrown to.
local side- the side that is currently making throws.
back plane- the plane defined as perpendicular to the ground and parallel to the front bottles which passes through the opposing rear triforce bottle.
front plane- the plane parallel to the back plane that passes through the local rear triforce bottle.
dmz- the area of the field between the front and back planes. This region's width is not specifically limited, although it need not be any larger than the arc a disc may take at a height of 6 feet from the ground and still return to the proximity of the opposing triforce.
Objects
disc- the Frisbee that the player introduces to the playing field during the current throw.
spent disc- a disc that has been removed from the field or has yet to be entered that half-round. Spent discs are not in play.
bottle- a glass (or plastic) beverage container
triforce- an equilateral triangle "pointing" towards the back of the field with its flat end facing the opposing side.
triforce bottle- one of the three bottles that make up the triforce of each side of the field.
store- the collection of empty and full bottles that are not in play and are in a storage device.
beer- a bottle that was opened by a player on the opposing side and has not yet been returned empty to the store.
stone- a disc or bottle that has come to rest in front of or intersecting the opposing back plane.
Durations
throw- an opportunity for a player to place a disc in play.
turn- the sum of one player's throws in that round.
half-round- all the players' turns on one side.
round- the two half rounds during which each player has had one turn. This process returns the Frisbees to their starting orientation, after which the players may rotate positions if it is necessary in the playing configuration.
end- a set of 10 rounds.
game- the sum of the ends played.
Pre-game:
Make 6 empty beer bottles. Warm-up rounds may be played with as many bottles as available, dividing the bottles evenly by placing the greater number on the side occupied by the least number of players.
Set-up:
Empty beer bottles are spaced a goodly distance apart into 2 groups of 3. The bottles shall be placed in, as close as ground conditions allow, a triforce with side length no more than three disc diameters. The triforce is oriented with the point away from the dmz.
Game-play:
The players will take turns one at a time throwing discs at the opposing bottles. Players throw from behind the front plane of the local triforce. If a player knocks over a bottle it is scored immediately but left in place on the field as a stone until that player's turn has concluded. Opposing and local players should keep clear of the dmz during throws and may not interfere with discs in that area. After the turn all displaced bottles are returned to triforce orientation. Discs that come to rest behind the back plane may be cleared by the opposing side, however discs that do not clear the back plane are to be left in play as stones until the half round is over. There are 10 rounds in and end. The number of ends played is the same as the number of people playing.
Scoring:
Score is determined by the number and type of valid contacts made to bottles. Each player is responsible for his own score and shall keep a running tally in his head. Points are generated from the following types of contact:
- the disc or a stone touches the bottle (a dink)- 1 point
- the disc or a stone knocks the bottle over after contacting the ground - 2 points
- the disk knocks the bottle over without first contacting the ground - 4 points
Clarifications and Addenda:
- Beers are in play and hold the same value as triforce bottles.
- Bottles in a store are not in play.
- If a stone is placed into motion by the disc it may generate valid contacts with bottles.
- If more than one bottle is contacted by the disc or a valid stone all contacts are scored as normal and the result is multiplied by 2.
Reverse Anthropomorphism.
The cold water doesn't work in the bathroom. It wasn't for as long as I've worked here. You turn the knob but nothing happens. So its scalding hot water or nothing. I just realized that I look like a bear trying to catch salmon as I swipe at the water, trying to wash the soap off my hands without burning myself.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Snake In The Phone.
See? Now this is the kind of noise that makes me not want to be a wireless customer. They've got "sticky downwards" pricing, which means its much easier for the customer charge to go up than down. There are all kinds of taxes in your phone bill that tack on extra charges and they don't hesitate to pass new taxes right on to their customers rather than take a hit on the bottom line. But don't go thinking, even for a second, that you'll see the friendly end of a tax-break on that bill. Those go straight in the snake's pockets.
I can't wait till someone takes the wind out of these guys' sails and tells it like it is. They're a "bit pipe" like TechDirt says in discussing the reasons that Verizon declines on the iPhone earlier. They want to be content providers and are getting dragged kicking and screaming into providing only a connection. ( Like when we recently reset our Comcast connection and they needed our Comcast email address to complete it. We don't know our Comcast address. We don't use our Comcast address and we never will.) Anyway, that's apparently why Apple went with Cingular over Verizon, the latter wasn't willing to be more of a "bit pipe" letting Apple handle more content and service than ever before. The Verizon CEO said "They would have been stepping in between us and our customers to the point where we would have almost had to take a back seat … on hardware and service support," Shit, that's the best sales pitch Verizon could've made to me. "We're not really in charge of anything." Where do I sign up for that?
I can't wait till someone takes the wind out of these guys' sails and tells it like it is. They're a "bit pipe" like TechDirt says in discussing the reasons that Verizon declines on the iPhone earlier. They want to be content providers and are getting dragged kicking and screaming into providing only a connection. ( Like when we recently reset our Comcast connection and they needed our Comcast email address to complete it. We don't know our Comcast address. We don't use our Comcast address and we never will.) Anyway, that's apparently why Apple went with Cingular over Verizon, the latter wasn't willing to be more of a "bit pipe" letting Apple handle more content and service than ever before. The Verizon CEO said "They would have been stepping in between us and our customers to the point where we would have almost had to take a back seat … on hardware and service support," Shit, that's the best sales pitch Verizon could've made to me. "We're not really in charge of anything." Where do I sign up for that?
Minor Delays.
So I was on my way home last night at about 12:00 when I got on 95 south. It was a cloverleaf interchange and I was zipping around the curve so I had enough speed to merge with traffic on the freeway. I had my left blinker on and was going about 55 off the ramp when I heard a "woop woop" from behind me. There was a cop with his lights on coming behind me, so I slowed down and didn't merge. I let him go past and as I did I noticed three things. 1) there were two cops driving side by side 2) they were driving in two lanes each, so as to block 4 lanes of traffic. 3) they were going about 45. So I fell in and proceeded in this little motorcade for about a mile before the cops crept to a stop. Crap. I've heard about this before but never seen it. They closed the highway for some kind of construction. The whole thing. So I sat for 45 minutes while they took care of... well basically nothing I could see when I finally got to proceed.
There were a couple interesting parts when some moron went cruising down one of the closed left lanes at about 40 right past the two cops with lights on. The left cop few up and stopped him before he ran anyone over. They had a little chat and reversed back to where every one else was waiting 200m up the road. Then a couple impatient folks in minivans came creeping up the shoulder real stealth-like. They inched in front of the semi behind me, saw the cops and stopped just off my quarter-panel. Which would have been fine, except for when the ambulance came down the shoulder and we all had to make room for the morons to clear the shoulder. Hello? That's what shoulders are for, not so you can cut in line.
But my real beef is with the location of this closure. Why wouldn't you close the road at the last exit, so that people can get off the closed road? Or maybe put a sign up about it, so I don't get on if I can think of a better way to go. I was making a 15 minute trip that'd take 20 without using the highway. Instead I spent and hour including my little camp-out on 95. Never mind that 12:00 isn't really that late and there are plenty of cars on the road, just tell me the fecking road is closed so I can get off it!
As a side note, while I was looking for highway closure information (couldn't find this event listed) I found this page of traffic speeds in MD. I find it amusing that the majority of the roads' traffic is "over 65" when 65 is the 'maximum' speed on non-urban highways in MD. Kinda wish they'd list the actual stats so you can see if its 66 or 80.
There were a couple interesting parts when some moron went cruising down one of the closed left lanes at about 40 right past the two cops with lights on. The left cop few up and stopped him before he ran anyone over. They had a little chat and reversed back to where every one else was waiting 200m up the road. Then a couple impatient folks in minivans came creeping up the shoulder real stealth-like. They inched in front of the semi behind me, saw the cops and stopped just off my quarter-panel. Which would have been fine, except for when the ambulance came down the shoulder and we all had to make room for the morons to clear the shoulder. Hello? That's what shoulders are for, not so you can cut in line.
But my real beef is with the location of this closure. Why wouldn't you close the road at the last exit, so that people can get off the closed road? Or maybe put a sign up about it, so I don't get on if I can think of a better way to go. I was making a 15 minute trip that'd take 20 without using the highway. Instead I spent and hour including my little camp-out on 95. Never mind that 12:00 isn't really that late and there are plenty of cars on the road, just tell me the fecking road is closed so I can get off it!
As a side note, while I was looking for highway closure information (couldn't find this event listed) I found this page of traffic speeds in MD. I find it amusing that the majority of the roads' traffic is "over 65" when 65 is the 'maximum' speed on non-urban highways in MD. Kinda wish they'd list the actual stats so you can see if its 66 or 80.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Just Making Shtuff Up.
I read about the South Sandwich Islands in my National Geographic recently. They made for some very dramatic images with all the birds and blue ice. There's basically nothing there and it was only valuable as a whaling base. Now there's just a few scientists and a crap load of birds. Its an interesting place, if only because its to remote, so read up on it if you'd like.But what I'd like to focus on is the naming. The island chain was (re)discovered by James Cook in 1775 and named Sandwich Land. (I know it sounds like the country that Mayor McCheese would constantly defend McDonaldLand from.) Anyway, as most of us know this moniker was intended to honor the 4th Earl of Sandwich, major sponsor of Cook and proponent of sandwiches. However it was not the last time that Cook would use it. Three years later in 1778 he would discover Hawaii and name it the Sandwich Islands, prompting "South" to be appended to the original Sandwich Islands' name.
Sounds kinda like the Earl didn't really appreciate having an island chain that, ask Cook said, was "not worth the discovery" as his only namesake. So when Cook found a more appealing locale he took the name and dedicated that parcel to his benefactor. As a result the Sandwich Islands and the South Sandwich Islands are nowhere near each other. They don't even share the same ocean.
No iPod Till You Clean Your Room.
I don't want to get into a big debate about the state of North Korea, or how the world community should be handling it. Whether Kim is a big boy and should be allowed to make his own decisions; but I have to tell you I'm feeling more and more like he's being treated like a middle schooler. The latest development is that he's not allowed to have an iPod. That'll probably make him see things our way. After all, who can resist the allure of Apple's shiny magic style.
Internet Magic.
I don't usually get songs stuck in my head that I know nothing about. For instance: you know that Safeway commercial with the cut-out people that should be way more annoying than it actually is? Maybe you're annoyed with it but I've only seen it three times and one of those was on purpose. Well I know virtually nothing about that song, but I can still find out that its the Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger because I know it came from a commercial, I remembered that it was on during 30 Rock last week, and the third time I saw it I noticed it was an add for Safeway.
Well this is for those of you being driven crazy by a tune that you know nothing about except that its in your head and you can't get it out. Before you take a drill to your temple, check out Midomi. Its a site that claims to be able to identify the wretched impression you come up with whether it be whistling, humming or some other machination. I'm not sure how accurate your pitches have to be or how long of a clip you'll need to produce, but its probably worth trying out. If only so you know that no one should be able to identify what you thing you're humming.
Well this is for those of you being driven crazy by a tune that you know nothing about except that its in your head and you can't get it out. Before you take a drill to your temple, check out Midomi. Its a site that claims to be able to identify the wretched impression you come up with whether it be whistling, humming or some other machination. I'm not sure how accurate your pitches have to be or how long of a clip you'll need to produce, but its probably worth trying out. If only so you know that no one should be able to identify what you thing you're humming.
Friday, January 26, 2007
State Of The Cons-umion.
No I didn't watch the State of the Union. I've been doing my best to keep my head down and pretend that Bush doesn't exist until the situation resolves itself. Which is, ironically, very much like Bush's foreign policy. Not having watched, I don't really have any opinions to put forward (ethanol and coal? You dirty son-of-a-...) about what was said or not said. I will, however, refer you to Martin Eberhard of Tesla Motors.
"One of the foremost principles that led me to found Tesla Motors was that, electric cars move our choice of energy source upstream from the vehicle, making them the ultimate multi-fuel vehicles: You can power them with clean (or dirty) coal; wind or solar power; clean, safe (or otherwise) nuclear energy; or even good ol' oil."Upstream, this is the concept I've been talking about for as long as I knew you could run a car off electricity. Now I've got a nice word for it.
"Imagine if you got a $25,000 tax credit for buying an EV for your "business," like you can for a HummerYeah, imagine politicians did more than pay public lip service to the environment before turning around and selling other peoples' souls to the auto and oil industries."
"I am not so enthusiastic about stepping up domestic oil production. I actually like our wildernesses, and I don't think we need to fill our few remaining unspoiled places with oil extraction industry. Lots of other people have written on this subject; let me just agree with them."
Damn right, Martin. Well said. I need to figure out how to get more into this company, short of stealing $100,000 for a roadster or for a 50,000 Whitestar.
iBet.
There's a little back and forth over at Wired about the impending impact of the iPhone. Some think it'll be big, catering to a new type of user, while others think that they're missing the mark and trying to take the smartphone market in a direction it might not want to go. There's lots of nice points about economics and precedents that I'm not going to be able to match. All I know is what I like."If Apple listened to their customers, we'd have a boring phone that looks like an iPod, click-wheel and all -- that's how most envisioned the iPhone."
Uh, no. If they listened to me they'd be making bluetooth video iPods with full length touchscreens. I can wait a few years for full phone convergence, I just want my damn gadgets to play nice in the meantime. Click wheels were novel, but now they're passé. I want color tactile displays that change content if not some type of holographic flavor.
He is right about some things though, I don't give a crap about what's already out there in the smartphone market. I'm not looking for a tiny keyboard or a stylus. I don't care about syncing with outlook or continuous email contact. I want to choose the options that I need and don't care about "features" that are marketed to other demographics. Give me a wifi connection and some hardware that makes it reasonable to use the Internet and I'll scout my own hotspots and use my choice of messaging medium. That'd make for a great iPod right there, but to make an iPhone we're talking network. I'm pretty sure that monkeys in Korea can make the hardware for phones today, so unlike the iPhone's groundbreaking user interface, the GSM innards are the same old crap.
And herein lies the problem. I have an innate distrust of wireless providers. I perceive them as parasites trying to suck as much life out of me without making me pissed off enough to do something about it. The iPhone is different from an iPod not just in its interface, but in its dependence on a parasite. I don't have to use the iTunes Music Store to use my iPod. (And I don't.) Heck I don't even have to use the iTunes software to load content onto my iPod if I don't want to. But throw down for a wireless phone and you must hitch your wagon to one of these providers. Its an entirely different kind of product (with a service) and an entirely different level or customer commitment.
So we can talk all day about these things, whether or not the design is too far fetched to curry existing smartphone customers, whether its different enough to persuade new users into the market. But in the end Apple isn't even selling these things, Cingular is, so arguing about whether the iPhone will have a similar impact on the market is almost silly. Of course the phone market is more established than the portable mp3 player market was. And of course there's a larger entry hurdle for buyers to get over than with an iPod. But if you look at this from a User Interface trend perspective, screens are getting larger, functions are more familiar, and input devices are becoming more varied. People that want to peck away at tiny keys have their devices, while the rest of us have been waiting out something else. Of course someone was going to make a mobile touchscreen. Apple just got one to market first and they've got the "disruptive technology" chops to make everyone start arguing about whether this is the new wave. Its an option. If you don't like it, wait it out and the voice recognition and holographic input folks will be around the corner in a little bit.
Daily Placebo Metrics.
You know its time to clean out your car when you can see trash piled in the backseat from 3 floors up across the parking lot.
For Sale: Jail Cell. Excellent Location.
Do me a favor. Look at the room around you. Now imagine a box on the floor 7 ft by 11 ft. I'm guessing that wherever you are that box will fit without too much trouble. Now imagine living in that box, with all your possessions and paying $334,000 for the privilege. Thats $4300 Per Square Foot. Of course, you'll probably pay a bit more since you'll have to remove all the rubble and add lights. Yes, that's right a dark rubble filled closet for more than a McMansion anywhere else. Where does the queue start?
It's situated in the Chelsea district of London, that's becoming the place to be with access to bars and all types of upscale hot spots. Although I'm not really sure that brining a lady back to your ex-janitor's closet will seal the deal. Even if it is in Chelsea. Hell, the estate agent described it as "incredibly depressing." Sure, its the most affordable property in Chelsea, if you don't count sleeping in a cardboard box under a bridge. But the square footage would be comparable and I'm guessing the box would be hella cheaper.
Get Rich Slowly » Tiny London Apartment for $334,000
It's situated in the Chelsea district of London, that's becoming the place to be with access to bars and all types of upscale hot spots. Although I'm not really sure that brining a lady back to your ex-janitor's closet will seal the deal. Even if it is in Chelsea. Hell, the estate agent described it as "incredibly depressing." Sure, its the most affordable property in Chelsea, if you don't count sleeping in a cardboard box under a bridge. But the square footage would be comparable and I'm guessing the box would be hella cheaper.
Get Rich Slowly » Tiny London Apartment for $334,000
Yeah, I'll Get Right On That.
There's a post on Engadget about Uncle Milton Toys requesting them to discontinue the use of the trademarked phrase "Ant Farm." Really? You guys are the original Ant Farm creators? I guess I never really thought there was just one place this started, I mean kids putting bugs in jars is as old as the sun. And I had an actual ant farm when I was little. That was the worst bug prison ever, those mofos were all over my room. (and no, they didn't grow shit.) I just find it hard to believe that Uncle Milton is still keeping up the good fight to ward off the genericide of their brand. I mean, sure when you do a Google search Uncle Milton comes up as a related search term, but they're not directly among the results. And while I don't think I've ever heard of Uncle Milton, I definitely haven't heard of a formicarium, which is what an ant farm technically is. But hey, maybe they are the only ones making these things and the brand is so prolific that I just assume there must be competitive formicary suppliers out there. Basically I'm going to have to plead ignorant on this one, but I think I associate any glass box with ants inside with the term ant farm. I guess I could start using ant rodeo, or ant commune, or ant walden two. But I doubt I will.And I like Engadget's response, basically "pfff... whatever." Cause they know that defending your mark is part of the process of fighting genericide. Wikipedia notes that: "One risk factor which may lead to genericide is the use of a trademark as a verb, noun, plural or possessive" So I'm thinking about working the term into my vernacular as a verb. You know, boxed in, contained, captive, existing to proliferate, having tunnel vision. Here are some examples I've thunk up:
I've been so ant farmed all week I haven't even had time to watch TV.
I'm gonna ant farm the crap outta her after we get married.
The next time that guy ant farms my car I'm gonna smash his window.
I think it works.
Why Would I Watch The News?
I can just make up random facts to believe on my own. Did you know that stars are actually chunks of hot meteor orbiting around the Earth? See? It wasn't that hard.Isn't there some kind of punishment for false inflammatory statements meant to injure the reputation of an individual or group? I mean, I know that Fox News isn't responsible for repeating the completely slanderous information about Barack Obama, they're just ridiculously negligent and will never be taken seriously again. But someone at Insight Magazine needs to go down hard. Moreover, good for Obama for not taking that crap. Click through to read the statement released about douche bags in the media.
The Easiest Way To Stop Smoking.
Blunt head trauma. What if you just forgot that you ever smoked in the first place? Or that you had an addiction, a dog, or a family... Admittedly whacking people on the noggin isn't probably the best treatment, and the article starts off with stroke as the catalyst. But studies show that damaging parts of the brain can help people forget to be addicted to cigaretttes *poof* overnight. "The researchers found that damage to the insula – a brain region that promotes conscious feelings of hunger, pain and cravings – allowed some heavy smokers to quit with ease." Sounds great, a world with no hunger, no pain, no cigarettes. How do you give strokes to people on purpose?Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Go Get Your Thinkin Cap.
Wow, I thought I was up to date with all the cool Google Betas out there. But check out GapMinder, its a nice flash implementation of various world statistics by country over time. There's both chart and map views along with temporal animations. You can highlight nations to track over time, select color and size symbology and zoom in on interesting trends. Lots of options make for lots of interesting results. Go play.Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Is BuzzFeed Buzzworthy?
So I checked in on my site stats today, expecting lackluster numbers to reflect my lackluster performance. No, my hits for yesterday skyrocketed! (relatively speaking) Huh? I didn't do anything special... did I? A little further investigation and the vast majority of the readers came from a site called BuzzFeed.com OK, what the hell is that?
From their site's explanation they've got software that monitors the blagosphere and comes up with new trends that people are talking about. So if you look closely you'll note that my little rumination on meatlifting is the top listing in that trend for some reason. Sure, its under a different title (theirs is way better by the way) but its my post picked up merehours days after I blaged about a hot topic. Shit Dee, thanks for the link, I had no idea you were so savvy. Maybe I should gank your profile links more often.
I spose it appears that BuzzFeed is a pretty interesting site, kinda like picking horses at the track. I'm willing to let it on my feed for a week to try it out. I'm not really sure how much editorial interaction there is in the process, but I assume there is some which could become an issue if it blows up like Digg. Digg is too damn big for its own good, I can't even check it any more. I run through an RSS list of the ten most popular things and then I'm audi. I'm more about a tight but pervasive group, people who've got an eye on everything cool and actually remember what's already been cool 7 months ago. And who knows, that might be exactly what BuzzFeed is. But they've gotta watch out for self fulfilling site syndrome, which is a highly technical concept that I've just made up. You don't want things to become trends because they are listed on the site, predicting the future isn't as impressive if you control it. So check it out if you'd like, but don't tell your friends. We don't want this getting out of hand.
From their site's explanation they've got software that monitors the blagosphere and comes up with new trends that people are talking about. So if you look closely you'll note that my little rumination on meatlifting is the top listing in that trend for some reason. Sure, its under a different title (theirs is way better by the way) but its my post picked up mere
I spose it appears that BuzzFeed is a pretty interesting site, kinda like picking horses at the track. I'm willing to let it on my feed for a week to try it out. I'm not really sure how much editorial interaction there is in the process, but I assume there is some which could become an issue if it blows up like Digg. Digg is too damn big for its own good, I can't even check it any more. I run through an RSS list of the ten most popular things and then I'm audi. I'm more about a tight but pervasive group, people who've got an eye on everything cool and actually remember what's already been cool 7 months ago. And who knows, that might be exactly what BuzzFeed is. But they've gotta watch out for self fulfilling site syndrome, which is a highly technical concept that I've just made up. You don't want things to become trends because they are listed on the site, predicting the future isn't as impressive if you control it. So check it out if you'd like, but don't tell your friends. We don't want this getting out of hand.
What Is Going On Here?
Check out this aerial imagery of a Nimitz class Aircraft Carrier located west of Shanghai, China.
Notice anything? Zoom out a little. Yeah, its in a pond. Now, I know there are various floating casinos that basically have motes around them. But that's to avoid local gambling laws. What could be the point of having an aircraft carrier on a duck pond?
Well, it turns out that's a kickass "military education center" at an after school camp. Its a building in the shape of a 7/8 scale Nimitz Nuclear Carrier. "Think of it as a cross between summer camp, a school field trip, and a communist EPCOT Center." Wow, that place sounds great. And at 6 bucks to get in, I'm definitely going next time I'm in Shanghai.
Notice anything? Zoom out a little. Yeah, its in a pond. Now, I know there are various floating casinos that basically have motes around them. But that's to avoid local gambling laws. What could be the point of having an aircraft carrier on a duck pond?
Well, it turns out that's a kickass "military education center" at an after school camp. Its a building in the shape of a 7/8 scale Nimitz Nuclear Carrier. "Think of it as a cross between summer camp, a school field trip, and a communist EPCOT Center." Wow, that place sounds great. And at 6 bucks to get in, I'm definitely going next time I'm in Shanghai.
To Repair Or To Replace, That Is The Question.
Reader mail, that'd be a gold mine of material. But no, you chumps just wait till the next time you see me to ask questions. (For you guys in Colorado, just keep waiting, I swear I'll swing by soon.) Well Dave Zatz is flush with mail, so he's doling out advice left and right. Take this iPod question for example.
It costs more for Apple to repair an old iPod than to buy a new one. What do I do?
Well for me the answer is pretty clear. I was thinking about buying a new one two months after I bought mine and Apple came out with double the battery life. It never had stellar endurance but now it won't last 3 metro rides (70 mins) using my bluetooth (read: external power source) headphones. That's some weak shite. The only reason I can stand it is that I use it at my desk(firewire), in my car (firewire FM transmitter), and at my work desk(USB 2) and pretty much nowhere else.
Anyway, Dave gives some well advised answers. I really like the "slap the ipod against something" suggestion, although I'm not too sure about his entirely reasonable rationalization. I'm pretty sure nothing like that is running though my head when I smack a dysfunctional piece of equipment. Although I do check to see if it fixed the problem. But after that, the best advice is to move on. The iPod is so popular because it just works. There isn't a whole bunch of configuring and tweaking. And if it doesn't 'just work' its time to get rid of it. I mean you could buy a Zune if you'd wanted a doorstop.
Despite my ownership of their product and plans to redouble that involvement, you may know that I've got beef with Apple's accelerated obsolescence scheme. But this is just being sneaky about it. Charging more to fix an old one than it costs to buy a better model. I mean, come on! I'd rather you tell me, 'sorry we no longer repair that kind of iPod.'
We all know how Apple has managed to squeeze so much extra play time into the newer models. Marginally better batteries, more efficent screens, storage technology and power schemes. Oh and by avoiding an obvious features. I may be wrong but it sounds like Dave is a little pissed about the lack of an FM transmitter too. They're getting to the point where there are so many models they might as well have another one with FM. You buy that model, you sacrifice a little battery life, raise your hand if you're ok with that. But of course I've been holding out on buying a new one in the naive belief that there's a bluetooth model coming. Its not coming; it wouldn't 'just work.' There are so many minor improvements that are so much easier than creating robust bluetooth compatibility; and they won't detract from the raw play time stats. Is it too much to ask for a device that talks to my wireless headphones, car and cell phone? Yes, yes it is.
It costs more for Apple to repair an old iPod than to buy a new one. What do I do?
Well for me the answer is pretty clear. I was thinking about buying a new one two months after I bought mine and Apple came out with double the battery life. It never had stellar endurance but now it won't last 3 metro rides (70 mins) using my bluetooth (read: external power source) headphones. That's some weak shite. The only reason I can stand it is that I use it at my desk(firewire), in my car (firewire FM transmitter), and at my work desk(USB 2) and pretty much nowhere else.
Anyway, Dave gives some well advised answers. I really like the "slap the ipod against something" suggestion, although I'm not too sure about his entirely reasonable rationalization. I'm pretty sure nothing like that is running though my head when I smack a dysfunctional piece of equipment. Although I do check to see if it fixed the problem. But after that, the best advice is to move on. The iPod is so popular because it just works. There isn't a whole bunch of configuring and tweaking. And if it doesn't 'just work' its time to get rid of it. I mean you could buy a Zune if you'd wanted a doorstop.
Despite my ownership of their product and plans to redouble that involvement, you may know that I've got beef with Apple's accelerated obsolescence scheme. But this is just being sneaky about it. Charging more to fix an old one than it costs to buy a better model. I mean, come on! I'd rather you tell me, 'sorry we no longer repair that kind of iPod.'
We all know how Apple has managed to squeeze so much extra play time into the newer models. Marginally better batteries, more efficent screens, storage technology and power schemes. Oh and by avoiding an obvious features. I may be wrong but it sounds like Dave is a little pissed about the lack of an FM transmitter too. They're getting to the point where there are so many models they might as well have another one with FM. You buy that model, you sacrifice a little battery life, raise your hand if you're ok with that. But of course I've been holding out on buying a new one in the naive belief that there's a bluetooth model coming. Its not coming; it wouldn't 'just work.' There are so many minor improvements that are so much easier than creating robust bluetooth compatibility; and they won't detract from the raw play time stats. Is it too much to ask for a device that talks to my wireless headphones, car and cell phone? Yes, yes it is.
Work, Reproduce, Perish.
This is pretty hilarious.
If you don't know about Second Life let me shatter your bliss right now. Its an online system where people create 3d models of themselves or objects or places. Its a fictional world where you pay real money for real (fake?) estate, goods and 'services'. All of which is fictional and at the whim of Linden labs. There have been quite a few instances where people debate if real laws apply to a make-believe world. Like when someone cons you out of 'lindens' (the ingame currency) is it fraud or just part of the game? You can read more on Wikipedia- Second Life. And TechDirt usually covers the ins and outs of the quasi-legal implications.
Anyway when I first heard about it a long time ago it sounded kinda intriguing. Making models and creating a virtual world based on the contributions of its users. Want to add something? Just make it, or hire someone to make it for you. But that fancy only lasted about a week, not even long enough for me to download the software or create a trial account. So yeah, my entire perspective of this thing is from the outside. But this thing is getting out of hand. Companies (and even politicians) having press conferences and release statements, arguing who's the first millionaire, gambling, and other services (nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more.) Seriously? I'm not just not intrigued any more, I'm getting annoyed. And I'm not the only one.
Tech Crunch links to a site called First Life. Get it? Playing on the fact that the people who participate in this community are seeking a second life when they have yet to encounter a first. Haha. Those losers. The best part of the page is the small text that reads "fornicate using your actual genitals" There's also a bit about Teen First Life that mocks Teen Second Life that was created to keep underage users from creating fraudulent accounts and participating in the adult grid. All-in-all a good parody of a well-deserving subject.
TechCrunch: First Life
If you don't know about Second Life let me shatter your bliss right now. Its an online system where people create 3d models of themselves or objects or places. Its a fictional world where you pay real money for real (fake?) estate, goods and 'services'. All of which is fictional and at the whim of Linden labs. There have been quite a few instances where people debate if real laws apply to a make-believe world. Like when someone cons you out of 'lindens' (the ingame currency) is it fraud or just part of the game? You can read more on Wikipedia- Second Life. And TechDirt usually covers the ins and outs of the quasi-legal implications.
Anyway when I first heard about it a long time ago it sounded kinda intriguing. Making models and creating a virtual world based on the contributions of its users. Want to add something? Just make it, or hire someone to make it for you. But that fancy only lasted about a week, not even long enough for me to download the software or create a trial account. So yeah, my entire perspective of this thing is from the outside. But this thing is getting out of hand. Companies (and even politicians) having press conferences and release statements, arguing who's the first millionaire, gambling, and other services (nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more.) Seriously? I'm not just not intrigued any more, I'm getting annoyed. And I'm not the only one.
Tech Crunch links to a site called First Life. Get it? Playing on the fact that the people who participate in this community are seeking a second life when they have yet to encounter a first. Haha. Those losers. The best part of the page is the small text that reads "fornicate using your actual genitals" There's also a bit about Teen First Life that mocks Teen Second Life that was created to keep underage users from creating fraudulent accounts and participating in the adult grid. All-in-all a good parody of a well-deserving subject.
TechCrunch: First Life
Men:Stupid::Water:Wet
Ouch. And all these years I thought I was a better driver than the blinder wearing cattle I pass on the freeway. Apparently not, according to a study that declares women better drivers. Jalopnik, of course, denotes that while the difference is obvious to us, the press doesn't do a good job distinguishing "skill" from "safe". So of course I still think I'm a better driver even though I'm 77% more likely to die in a freeway collision than Ms. No-look-lane-change-Excursion. (huh, I woulda thought my car type alone puts the odds against me more than that) And of course the old explanation is that men are more likely to do stupid things which Jalopnik commented "is sort of like announcing that water is wet."
I don't need to go dig up one of those studies that examines risk taking behavior do I? You remember all about how they're displays of strength and daring designed to gain the attention and respect of our PEERS and womenfolk. Its hardwired. Now, don't get highway deaths all mixed up with this risk taking behavior excuse, cause that's not the cause in the highest fatality group. Old women are less able to survive the crashes they create. So they take the title followed closely by males aged 16-23 years who obviously are taking risks.
But I have trouble taking the findings here seriously. I mean, they concluded that the safest time to be on the road (based on deaths per mile) is during morning rush hour. No crap. Its safer in a parking lot than on a highway; but I want to be on a highway. I'd like to see this study redone with average travel time factored in. I mean, sure women may be safer drivers, but I bet we'd all be safer drivers if we were pedestrians. Lets not forget that while some chick may just be bobbing her head to Melissa Ethridge while we're parked in traffic, I'm being killed by the stress and inefficiency.
But lets be serious. The point of cars is not safety. They are inherently unsafe devices. The point is to increase our mobility and reduce our travel time. We need to live in the boondocks and drive 40 miles to work every day and we've accepted that 43,000 people need to die every year to achieve this goal.
I don't need to go dig up one of those studies that examines risk taking behavior do I? You remember all about how they're displays of strength and daring designed to gain the attention and respect of our PEERS and womenfolk. Its hardwired. Now, don't get highway deaths all mixed up with this risk taking behavior excuse, cause that's not the cause in the highest fatality group. Old women are less able to survive the crashes they create. So they take the title followed closely by males aged 16-23 years who obviously are taking risks.
But I have trouble taking the findings here seriously. I mean, they concluded that the safest time to be on the road (based on deaths per mile) is during morning rush hour. No crap. Its safer in a parking lot than on a highway; but I want to be on a highway. I'd like to see this study redone with average travel time factored in. I mean, sure women may be safer drivers, but I bet we'd all be safer drivers if we were pedestrians. Lets not forget that while some chick may just be bobbing her head to Melissa Ethridge while we're parked in traffic, I'm being killed by the stress and inefficiency.
But lets be serious. The point of cars is not safety. They are inherently unsafe devices. The point is to increase our mobility and reduce our travel time. We need to live in the boondocks and drive 40 miles to work every day and we've accepted that 43,000 people need to die every year to achieve this goal.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Your Dog Is So Fat, When He Sits Around The House...
Only we have such a surplus of unnecessary social and health issues that we're forcing them on our animals. That's right, our dogs are so obese that the FDA has just approved the first Doggy Weight-loss drug. Well, not all dogs, only 5% of them. But that's still 62 million canines that are needlessly pudgy. You know the ones I'm talking about, the ones that belong to "people [that] take their dog to the fast food joint or drive-through for an ice cream cone or hamburger." I'm imagining that these puppies don't exactly get a lot of exercise either.
Pfizer isn't really sure how the drug works at this point, even after testing it on 500 fat dogs. But they want to make sure people understand that its only for dogs, not cats or people. "The most common side effect of the drug is vomiting – others include diarrhoea and lethargy." Uh, yeah I bet I'd lose weight too if I was on a drug that made me puke and shit all over the place. You guys need me to explain how that works?
Pfizer isn't really sure how the drug works at this point, even after testing it on 500 fat dogs. But they want to make sure people understand that its only for dogs, not cats or people. "The most common side effect of the drug is vomiting – others include diarrhoea and lethargy." Uh, yeah I bet I'd lose weight too if I was on a drug that made me puke and shit all over the place. You guys need me to explain how that works?
Decision Time.
How terrible is it that I have a harder time deciding on a team for the super bowl than in a national election?
I was two years old when the Colts were shipped out of Baltimore on Mayflower trucks in the middle of the night. So I was never genuinely pissed off about it. I do remember when I learned about it though. There was a parade in Towson and the Colts' Marching Band went by with great fanfare. I was amazed that adults could have acted so childishly and that someone could abscond with a whole team; it seemed like the city owned the team, not a single man. My dad explained to me that while the Colts changed cities, the marching band stayed behind because it was made up of local citizens and fans. This amused me to no end. Not the fact that a volunteer organization didn't uproot itself, but that they still held the right to call themselves the Colts' Marching Band. I mean, that was the best 'screw you' I'd heard of to date. And yes that subsequent CFL venture, the Baltimore Colts err... Stallions were a damn good jab too. "Hmm, what's better than a colt, but still pretty much the same thing?"
So after all those years of harboring residual dislike, stealing the Browns was quite the cathartic exercise. I voted for the Ravens name (as I recall I also called to vote for the blue M&M that year too) and everyone was pretty happy to have an NFL franchise again; casting away those CFL phenoms no one seemed to remember.
Now, don't interpret my commentary as disparaging to the ravens, cause I like having a hometown team and everything. But I think we shoulda kept the Colt's Marching Band instead of christening them the Baltimore Marching Ravens. I mean how great would it be on those occasions when we played the Colts? The largest NFL affiliated marching band all wearing Colts uniforms and cheering the Ravens. That's like showing up to a street race with a dude's ex-girlfriend.
But back to picking a team for the upcoming bowl, I don't really hate the Colts all that much. And I'm a believer in the "root for the team that beat you" philosophy which brings them to just about even. I like Peyton cause of his commercials where he cheers for everyday people, so they get a small bump for that. But on the other side, my only positive feelings about the Bears come from SNL sketches about Mike Ditka.
And we've got a real heated battle for my favor.
I was two years old when the Colts were shipped out of Baltimore on Mayflower trucks in the middle of the night. So I was never genuinely pissed off about it. I do remember when I learned about it though. There was a parade in Towson and the Colts' Marching Band went by with great fanfare. I was amazed that adults could have acted so childishly and that someone could abscond with a whole team; it seemed like the city owned the team, not a single man. My dad explained to me that while the Colts changed cities, the marching band stayed behind because it was made up of local citizens and fans. This amused me to no end. Not the fact that a volunteer organization didn't uproot itself, but that they still held the right to call themselves the Colts' Marching Band. I mean, that was the best 'screw you' I'd heard of to date. And yes that subsequent CFL venture, the Baltimore Colts err... Stallions were a damn good jab too. "Hmm, what's better than a colt, but still pretty much the same thing?"
So after all those years of harboring residual dislike, stealing the Browns was quite the cathartic exercise. I voted for the Ravens name (as I recall I also called to vote for the blue M&M that year too) and everyone was pretty happy to have an NFL franchise again; casting away those CFL phenoms no one seemed to remember.
Now, don't interpret my commentary as disparaging to the ravens, cause I like having a hometown team and everything. But I think we shoulda kept the Colt's Marching Band instead of christening them the Baltimore Marching Ravens. I mean how great would it be on those occasions when we played the Colts? The largest NFL affiliated marching band all wearing Colts uniforms and cheering the Ravens. That's like showing up to a street race with a dude's ex-girlfriend.
But back to picking a team for the upcoming bowl, I don't really hate the Colts all that much. And I'm a believer in the "root for the team that beat you" philosophy which brings them to just about even. I like Peyton cause of his commercials where he cheers for everyday people, so they get a small bump for that. But on the other side, my only positive feelings about the Bears come from SNL sketches about Mike Ditka.
And we've got a real heated battle for my favor.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
All Set For The Spring Bombardment?
Speaking of knowing what women want, I'm pretty sure every special lady in your life would love this. Its basically a case of handi-wipes and windex, but its cleverly marketed as the "Grumpy Girl Auto Bird Turd Emergency Kit". And if there's anything I've learned it that the contents doesn't matter, you've just gotta make it look nice. Well, I guess they coulda made it tiny, that'd move more units, right?Saturday, January 20, 2007
Battle Of The Sexes: Recon.
I find all these scientific studies and medical explanations very amusing. I mean, we obviously have no idea what women are thinking, and just like in the Seinfeld bit we've got our best men working on it. And I'm not just saying its just the womens we don't get. We also need to look inside; open up in here, you'll find the biggest dating scene in the world.
We assume there's a rational process going on and that we can decode it like a problem with a defined solution. It's like one day I'll be able to calculate up all the variables involved in snagging a lady and it'll be as easy as chemistry. So study up boys, and you'll be a lady killer in no time. Right...
Women dress hotter when they're more fertile. Beware baby on brain syndrome.
Women agree with preferences of their piers when gaging attractiveness. Men hate guys that women like. Why can't we all just get along?
You always want what you don't have. Boobies are magical.
What's more dependable? Men prefer electronics over monogamous relationships.
Why I'm a sucka for a blue-eyed girl: So I'm sure I'm the baby daddy.
Guys have pretty much always liked a slender waist. Its not your fault, and its not modern culture. 36-24-36.
If she's too similar to you she'll get bored, even though you won't notice. DNA- dissimilarities attract.
More kids will kill parents earlier. Babies deadly, stop at 10.
We assume there's a rational process going on and that we can decode it like a problem with a defined solution. It's like one day I'll be able to calculate up all the variables involved in snagging a lady and it'll be as easy as chemistry. So study up boys, and you'll be a lady killer in no time. Right...
Women dress hotter when they're more fertile. Beware baby on brain syndrome.
Women agree with preferences of their piers when gaging attractiveness. Men hate guys that women like. Why can't we all just get along?
You always want what you don't have. Boobies are magical.
What's more dependable? Men prefer electronics over monogamous relationships.
Why I'm a sucka for a blue-eyed girl: So I'm sure I'm the baby daddy.
Guys have pretty much always liked a slender waist. Its not your fault, and its not modern culture. 36-24-36.
If she's too similar to you she'll get bored, even though you won't notice. DNA- dissimilarities attract.
More kids will kill parents earlier. Babies deadly, stop at 10.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Maybe Something's Wrong With Me.
I have never once, not even a little, considered meatlifting. I mean, I accidentally stole a pack of bubblegum cigarettes on a fieldtrip to Pennsylvania. (I'd left my backpack with money in it on a table outside and while I was getting the cash I noticed that I still had the gum in my hand even though I was clearly not in the store. I thought, 'huh, guess I technically stole this' and went back in with my money to pay.) But that's neither here nor there. What is here is this Slate article I lifted from Dee's google talk status message.
Its about meatlifting, yes the act of stealing meat. Sure not as classic a term as cattle rustling, but still a scourge on retailers across the country. Stuffing their slacks with sausage, pilfering pork in purses, abducting Angus in under-arms... I could go on. But why meat? Well the article has some very well thought out reasons involving law enforcement, drugs, product placement, entitlement, enjoyment, and on and on. But its pretty damn clear if you've ever seen an episode of supermarket sweep. You head straight to the row of hams because the price of meat compared to its bulk. (then you head to the caviar isle, but that's only for more discerning lawbreakers) Sure a big ass rump roast probably isn't going to fit in your pocket but you can fit 80 bucks of fillets in most well proportioned pants. That said, I just need to comment on how disturbing I find the thought of a pocket filled with steak. So lets face it, if you can pull off baggy pants, you can pack a lot of meat. But here's the quandry: studies have found that demographically
Your mom is a meat burglar. No, really.
The article also comments on security and how restricting access to meat isn't really something most stores want to do. They'd just end up driving customers to competitors (psst, RIAA, see the subtle parallel to music and DRM?) or *gasp* online food merchants. Which got me thinking, if Peapod really wants to drag in the diehard meatlifters they should add a checkbox in your shopping cart for "steal the most expensive meat item." Yeah, that'd get the ball rolling.
Its about meatlifting, yes the act of stealing meat. Sure not as classic a term as cattle rustling, but still a scourge on retailers across the country. Stuffing their slacks with sausage, pilfering pork in purses, abducting Angus in under-arms... I could go on. But why meat? Well the article has some very well thought out reasons involving law enforcement, drugs, product placement, entitlement, enjoyment, and on and on. But its pretty damn clear if you've ever seen an episode of supermarket sweep. You head straight to the row of hams because the price of meat compared to its bulk. (then you head to the caviar isle, but that's only for more discerning lawbreakers) Sure a big ass rump roast probably isn't going to fit in your pocket but you can fit 80 bucks of fillets in most well proportioned pants. That said, I just need to comment on how disturbing I find the thought of a pocket filled with steak. So lets face it, if you can pull off baggy pants, you can pack a lot of meat. But here's the quandry: studies have found that demographically
"aspirational meatlifters are most likely to be gainfully employed women between 35 and 54"I'd always thought the reason women carry purses was cause they have a lot of crap. But now I know. Its so they can steal meat.
Your mom is a meat burglar. No, really.
The article also comments on security and how restricting access to meat isn't really something most stores want to do. They'd just end up driving customers to competitors (psst, RIAA, see the subtle parallel to music and DRM?) or *gasp* online food merchants. Which got me thinking, if Peapod really wants to drag in the diehard meatlifters they should add a checkbox in your shopping cart for "steal the most expensive meat item." Yeah, that'd get the ball rolling.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
I know, I know, weak post. You expect some kinda insight from me about the iPhone or whatever other developments may have happened. Well rest assured that I'm a solid ESRI fanboy for at least two weeks after the conference and I don't give a crap about the not-actually world changing minutia that google may have pumped out.
What I would like to comment on is Helio. You know that awesome sounding phone company that was going to license spectrum and screw the man while providing me bad ass service and awesome tech. Well, I'm all set to hop on that band wagon; except for the huge deal they have with the myspace. I wouldn't have remembered, but someone tricked me on there just now an there was a big-ass banner pleading me to join the helio gang. And honestly I've got no problem with that other than the fact that they advertised on the myspace. I mean, can a associate with a company like that?
Uh, prolly not. But I'll be sure to keep you updated.
What I would like to comment on is Helio. You know that awesome sounding phone company that was going to license spectrum and screw the man while providing me bad ass service and awesome tech. Well, I'm all set to hop on that band wagon; except for the huge deal they have with the myspace. I wouldn't have remembered, but someone tricked me on there just now an there was a big-ass banner pleading me to join the helio gang. And honestly I've got no problem with that other than the fact that they advertised on the myspace. I mean, can a associate with a company like that?
Uh, prolly not. But I'll be sure to keep you updated.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Back On The Horse.
If at first you don't succeed... Find a new buncha chumps to go hunting with. Cheney is armed and frivolous, heading to a small town near Pittsburgh for a little "pheasant" hunting. Silly VP, don't you know that you have to go to a remote island in the south seas to hunt the most dangerous game? Somehow I usually imagine him walking around the field with a tophat and umbrella gun.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
$20,000,000 Skivies.
I can't tell you what a cramp changing underwear every day puts in my style. Luckily I live in the greatest country in the world and they've got my back. Sure, we get criticized for spending more money on defense than anything else in the history of mankind, but just look at the results. I mean you don't see the French military coming up with a pair of underwear that you can wear for weeks at a time. And no, that wasn't a crack about how you'd have thought the French would be the ones looking into dirty underwear technology.Yes, the pentagon spent 20 million dollars to devise a superskivy for its troops that sometimes can't be bothered to swap out a new pair every 72 hours. The mainstay is a special water resistant bacteria retardant coating that"both kills bacteria, and forces liquids to bead and run off." I'd like you to really focus in on that statement. Forces liquids to bead and run off. Got that mental image? Nice.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Rainy Day.
I feel kinda bad for all you suckas with anit-lock brakes out there. You don't know the fear, exhilaration and elation of trying to stop for a yellow light in the rain. You're trying to make it green, but despite your best efforts that amber hue blinks on, your foot eases off the gas and your brain makes a quick consultation.
"We're at the point of no return,
you'd better make a decision."
Here's where the fear starts. Humans are amazingly good at calculus. You may not know this, but you're constantly observing rates and changing velocities, predicting the outcome. Well, you might suck at it, but I come out money a lot of the time. Lets give up the facade, this story is about me; no more 'you's. So I'm observing my deceleration and plotting my stopping location. And its not soon enough. I'm slowing down as fast as I can, playing the brake by milimeters, trying to get as much slowing power as I can out of my paper thin tires. Gotta... squeeze... a little... more...
Easy... Easy... Yeah, a little more. And the slower the car goes the easier it is to find the very edge of traction. Here's where the exhilaration kicks it up. Still not in good shape, but the odds are on making it now. Paying less attention to the pedal, there's a heart beating a little harder than normal. Oh yeah, that's adrenaline baby. And now that I'm not in immutable peril any more I can start to enjoy it.
You know what? I've got a couple feet to spare. Hot damn, I'm a badass. I'm the cheese. I'm an effing driver. The home-brew drugs are wearing off as I coast up to the line. After half a minute I'm joined by stragglers in their Volvos and BMWs. They don't have broad smiles of accomplishment slathered all over their faces. They've still got that hypnotized moron, staring at the carrot, commuter glaze. Yep, you're definitely missing out.
"We're at the point of no return,
you'd better make a decision."
"Hmm, well I'd like to make the light,
but I don't like running red lights.
I guess I'd better stop."
"But now we're past the point of no return!" but I don't like running red lights.
I guess I'd better stop."
"Well we can't go for it, we stopped accelerating."
"But look how close the light is!" "Well maybe if you wouldn't say 'point of no return'
in full every time we'd have decided in time."
And you slam on the brakes. Well, as hard as you dare slam, cause you'll go flying right through that intersection if you start to skid. in full every time we'd have decided in time."
Here's where the fear starts. Humans are amazingly good at calculus. You may not know this, but you're constantly observing rates and changing velocities, predicting the outcome. Well, you might suck at it, but I come out money a lot of the time. Lets give up the facade, this story is about me; no more 'you's. So I'm observing my deceleration and plotting my stopping location. And its not soon enough. I'm slowing down as fast as I can, playing the brake by milimeters, trying to get as much slowing power as I can out of my paper thin tires. Gotta... squeeze... a little... more...
Easy... Easy... Yeah, a little more. And the slower the car goes the easier it is to find the very edge of traction. Here's where the exhilaration kicks it up. Still not in good shape, but the odds are on making it now. Paying less attention to the pedal, there's a heart beating a little harder than normal. Oh yeah, that's adrenaline baby. And now that I'm not in immutable peril any more I can start to enjoy it.
You know what? I've got a couple feet to spare. Hot damn, I'm a badass. I'm the cheese. I'm an effing driver. The home-brew drugs are wearing off as I coast up to the line. After half a minute I'm joined by stragglers in their Volvos and BMWs. They don't have broad smiles of accomplishment slathered all over their faces. They've still got that hypnotized moron, staring at the carrot, commuter glaze. Yep, you're definitely missing out.
Impervious.
My yogurt lid just told me to try new fruity cheerios. Nice try, but I don't give in to peer pressure from no twos bit foilish wrapping material. Plus I get Applejacks, despite their having nothing to do with apples. Course they have nothing to do with jacks either, so...Update
Dee brought up an interesting point that flew under the DP radar this week. Luckily now I have the time to educate you all. His comment is about the Amazon 30 day price guarantee, a little advertised money saver.
I've actually gotten automatic refunds on pre-ordered items that're just negative credit card charges, but that's not on price drops after they've shipped the item. But this is after you've actually watched the movie and you notice the price went down. Of course who has the time to monitor all the items you've bought? So you head over to refundplease where they track all your items for you and notify by email if one dips below your purchase price. Then you hassle Amazon to get your three dimes back, you cheap bastard.
What I find more interesting about this is the complexity and secrecy of Amazons' operations. Everyone knows they have a recommendation system, heck it was the focus of one of my AI projects in college. But few people know that asymmetric pricing is also a hobby at Amazon. Sure, prices go up and down over time, but you assume they go up and down for everyone. But Amazon experimented with value based pricing as far back a 2000, where they would charge a person that was likely to buy a product (valued it highly) more than a person who wasn't likely to buy it. Sounds like a nice way for a company to make a buck, if they can keep their customers from talking.
And that's what this Tech Dirt article talks about:
Tech Dirt- Citizen Journalism Bites Into Amazon's Attempts At Dynamic Pricing
The interaction and ingenuity of bloggers, and services like RefundPlease have made the asymmetric flow of information very hard for amazon to maintain. So they've had to resort to other price hike tricks like increasing the cost of items that remain in your shopping cart for a while. Its basically about trying to feel out the market value of an item at the individual level. Which sounds very cool until you realize that you're the individual and its bad for your wallet. So we undertake this kind of warfare, Amazon developing new pricing technologies and citizens developing new price matching schemes. But hey, that's why "the American government is the best government."
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Everyone! Quick! Come See What I Did!
Ever blown your nose so profusely that the heft of the finished product viscerally impressed you. And then you got all sad when you realized that you could never ask someone else to hold it and share in your accomplishment? Yeah.
Stand Back... I Think I'm Gonna Blag.
Ok, so I know I just did this with the multiple items in a single post, but I'm still all blocked up from that week of not crapping, er... I mean posting. So hold on. Its gonna be a rough one.
Hackers went pretty hard on RFID the entire year, breaking what meager encryption companies may have tried. Showing us why is may not be such a great idea to sport our credit card, passport, or biometric data in an easily gankable format. Well here's a little switch for you, the Chaos Conference attendees will be tracked via RFID, and their locations will be displayed in a publicly accessible form. Kind of a "no one has secrets" approach. Sure you can see my info, but I can see your too. The beacons broadcast at five power levels and are triangulated by 35 readers throughout the conference.
LEDs are great. I'm trying to get into them as much as possible, mostly cause I don't really like the compact fluorescent kick everyone (especially walmart) is on these days. Of course the reason I like em (not very mainstream) is the very reason I can't use them for everything. But there's a nice guide for LED beginners. I know what I'm doing the next rainy weekend.
I've been thinking of wiping my hard-drive lately. Mostly case there are so many things installed that I don't use. What do I really need? FireFox and Itunes. That's all that comes to mind. But its still a scary step. This disc might make the emotional hurdle a bit easier to get over. Its called software for starving students and contains all those essential open programs all in one place. Sounds pretty nice, but keep in mind that its a disc image, so don't go downloading it unless you plan on burning it.
Nothing like a batch of holiday porn. Be careful what you give Jimmy for his birthday cause you never know what's gonna come preloaded on those storage devices. iPods, video games, cameras, they're all susceptible. The more I hear about this stuff the more I think its Fight Club.
Gambling, we all do it. Even if you live in a state where gambling is illegal. Yes, I'm talking about insurance. When you buy car insurance, you're saying 'I bet I'm gonna screw up my car.' Of course its not quite that clear cut, but take a look at Weatherbill. Its a site where you can buy insurance against the weather. Maybe you've rented a site for an outdoor cookout or you're organizing a parade. I dunno, there must be all kinds of reasons for hedging your bets. And I mean that literally, the site also invites people to place wagers on the weather in places that will have no effect on them. So insurance, or gambling, it all good.
Oh good another wire format to keep track of. I haven't even found anything to plug into my HDMI port yet and already I'm feeling like I need a new system. Whatever, can't we all just agree on a standard plug for high quality audio and video? I mean how am I sposed to feel future proof if you keep changing things on me?
In other news, the best pirate pickup line of the week is:
Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.
Hackers went pretty hard on RFID the entire year, breaking what meager encryption companies may have tried. Showing us why is may not be such a great idea to sport our credit card, passport, or biometric data in an easily gankable format. Well here's a little switch for you, the Chaos Conference attendees will be tracked via RFID, and their locations will be displayed in a publicly accessible form. Kind of a "no one has secrets" approach. Sure you can see my info, but I can see your too. The beacons broadcast at five power levels and are triangulated by 35 readers throughout the conference.
LEDs are great. I'm trying to get into them as much as possible, mostly cause I don't really like the compact fluorescent kick everyone (especially walmart) is on these days. Of course the reason I like em (not very mainstream) is the very reason I can't use them for everything. But there's a nice guide for LED beginners. I know what I'm doing the next rainy weekend.
I've been thinking of wiping my hard-drive lately. Mostly case there are so many things installed that I don't use. What do I really need? FireFox and Itunes. That's all that comes to mind. But its still a scary step. This disc might make the emotional hurdle a bit easier to get over. Its called software for starving students and contains all those essential open programs all in one place. Sounds pretty nice, but keep in mind that its a disc image, so don't go downloading it unless you plan on burning it.
Nothing like a batch of holiday porn. Be careful what you give Jimmy for his birthday cause you never know what's gonna come preloaded on those storage devices. iPods, video games, cameras, they're all susceptible. The more I hear about this stuff the more I think its Fight Club.
Gambling, we all do it. Even if you live in a state where gambling is illegal. Yes, I'm talking about insurance. When you buy car insurance, you're saying 'I bet I'm gonna screw up my car.' Of course its not quite that clear cut, but take a look at Weatherbill. Its a site where you can buy insurance against the weather. Maybe you've rented a site for an outdoor cookout or you're organizing a parade. I dunno, there must be all kinds of reasons for hedging your bets. And I mean that literally, the site also invites people to place wagers on the weather in places that will have no effect on them. So insurance, or gambling, it all good.
Oh good another wire format to keep track of. I haven't even found anything to plug into my HDMI port yet and already I'm feeling like I need a new system. Whatever, can't we all just agree on a standard plug for high quality audio and video? I mean how am I sposed to feel future proof if you keep changing things on me?
In other news, the best pirate pickup line of the week is:
Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
You're Sposed To Suck At Golf.
This is a pretty interesting article about muscle memory. You know that the more you practice an action, the better you get at it, right? Well, kinda. You actually aren't performing the same motion, its close, but there are small variations. Our heads are packed full of analog transistors that suck at replication and precision. Animals are generalizers, built to adapt to a variety of situations, not repeat the exact same motions over and over. So maybe that's why sports linke golf are popular. If the golf swing was easily reproducble it wouldn't be challenging. And after all its all about overcoming adversity.
I'm So Over Longhorn.
Vista is ready to roll out and under-deliver on all those promises that Microsoft made way back when they decided to make Longhorn instead of Blackcomb. The new phenoms are now Fiji and Vienna. Fiji being a kind of Vista second edition (remember when you got win98 second edition? That was pretty sweet.) And Vienna is the whole new shebang that was sposed to be Blackcomb in the first place. (remember when you got winxp after win98se? Even more sweet.) It'll use voice recognition as a major input and do away with folder management and menus. Sounds like the computer scifi writers have been dreaming about for centuries. Of course a bunch of this stuff was sposed to be in here by now but was postponed so don't get too excited. The cool features will most likely get the "that's really hard, it'll be in the next generation" bump just before release.
Oh, and all of you who think you just wasted 70 seconds reading that cause there's no way you're going to remember that Blackcomb is now Vienna just like you didn't know that Vista was Longhorn, you're right. You wasted your time.
Oh, and all of you who think you just wasted 70 seconds reading that cause there's no way you're going to remember that Blackcomb is now Vienna just like you didn't know that Vista was Longhorn, you're right. You wasted your time.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Bush Really Buckles Down.
President Bush worked nearly three hours at his Texas ranch on Thursday to design a new U.S. policy in Iraq, then emerged to say that he and his advisers need more time to craft the plan he'll announce in the new year.Dammit people, I've spent over three hours thinking about this already and I just can't come up with anything. Will you get off my ass? I mean, ideas can't just be thought up. You've gotta wait for them to come to you. Tidy up your desk. Organize your pens. Play a little solitaire. I'm sure by mid-May there'll be a dynamite plan just waiting in my inbox. Man, my brain hurts. Does anyone else smell burning? Maybe I'll declare a holiday so I don't have to go back to work on Tuesday...
I Just Saw This Movie.
We had big plans for Saturday. We decided to watch Mission Impossible. And Mission Impossible 2. Then I bought Mission Impossible 3 and we watched it. Then we watched Anchorman. And then Aurthur. It was a rough day.
Anyway, that whole preface was just to credential myself when I give you a summary of MI:2 because you probably remember very little of the plot. Tom Cruise almost dies while free climbing in Arizona (damn.) and then crashes a Carrera in South America. They use the girl for bait to figure out what they're trying to do. Turns out that there is a super cure drug called Balerafont but the scientists created a super virus, Chimera, when they spliced some viruses together. The bad guys want to infect everyone and then sell the cure. A bunch of things blow up. You get pissed off when it turns out that everyone was wearing a mask and they destroy the virus in the end.
So now switch to the real world. Two Biotech companies are working on super vaccines that will combat any type of flu. They'll be ready for testing in 2007 (wait, that's this year) and can readily stockpile massive amounts. Anyone else feel like we're being set up?
Anyway, that whole preface was just to credential myself when I give you a summary of MI:2 because you probably remember very little of the plot. Tom Cruise almost dies while free climbing in Arizona (damn.) and then crashes a Carrera in South America. They use the girl for bait to figure out what they're trying to do. Turns out that there is a super cure drug called Balerafont but the scientists created a super virus, Chimera, when they spliced some viruses together. The bad guys want to infect everyone and then sell the cure. A bunch of things blow up. You get pissed off when it turns out that everyone was wearing a mask and they destroy the virus in the end.
So now switch to the real world. Two Biotech companies are working on super vaccines that will combat any type of flu. They'll be ready for testing in 2007 (wait, that's this year) and can readily stockpile massive amounts. Anyone else feel like we're being set up?
You Thought It Was Over... But Its Never Over.
That's right, its time for more evoting. Well, not they actual voting part, but the part where we argue about the result, technology and obscurity. Remember that guy in Florida that lost by a few votes while thousands of votes were... um... well, not misplaced so much as never recorded? Well now a judge has ruled that he can't have access to the machine's source code because it contains "trade secrets". Yeah, trade secrets, like "randomly pick winner" and "create illusion of democracy." No, I'm just kidding. You can see exactly what's in these machines because the source code is readily available on the Internet. You just can't use it in court because the company never wanted anyone to see how they worked. Remember that story about the thug with a bullet in his head that the cops wanted to use for evidence but he hid behind patients' rights laws to keep it away from them? Strangely reminiscent.
But lets push past the legal ranglings of this company and the judge who thinks their profits transcend democratically elected governance. Why are we contracting with companies who use secrecy as their main security protocol? Nevermind that they can't actually keep a secret, this is not supposed to be a secret process. Everyone is supposed to understand how it works. Everyone drops one rock in a candidate's bucket and the one with more rocks wins. Bottom line: if you can't show me how you do it, you shouldn't be allowed to do it.
But lets push past the legal ranglings of this company and the judge who thinks their profits transcend democratically elected governance. Why are we contracting with companies who use secrecy as their main security protocol? Nevermind that they can't actually keep a secret, this is not supposed to be a secret process. Everyone is supposed to understand how it works. Everyone drops one rock in a candidate's bucket and the one with more rocks wins. Bottom line: if you can't show me how you do it, you shouldn't be allowed to do it.
A Whole New Year To Complain About.
Well, my origami calendar ran out. Guess that means its a new year already, and time to pick a new calendar. But it seems like a lot of pressure. I mean, I have to look at this thing for a whole year. Should I go with puppies? Or tropical beaches? Or Windows error messages? I did like the origami concept because you used the pages you tore off every day. Although to be honest, I mostly just made cranes and not the lesson for the day. Which means now I've got a shelf of about 200 brightly colored cranes in my office. So, yeah, I used the pages. But they're just taking up space now. I figure I should decide what to get soon, because the longer I wait, the more wasted pages it will have. I wonder if calendar companies ever thought of prorating partially obsolete calendars...
Anyway, I know you've been saddened by the lack of posts lately. But I've been sick which doesn't really make you want to read about trivial crap all day. Its not an excuse, just a reason. Lets see if I can't find some dumb stuff for you. Oh good I've got like 20 things that seem like old news because they happened last year. Whatever, its new to you.
Sydney (AU, not MO) is going to pull a Mr. Burns this year and pull the plug at the end of march so that its citizens can see what dark is really like. Pretty sweet.The Japanese are using a bustrain that rides on rail and roads. The tireless wheels retract like that truck in Lethal Weapon 4. Or maybe in Die Hard 3, I can't remember.
This small town is tired of being out in the dark. Especially so in the winter when they get less sunlight than your unmentionables. So they've built a big-ass mirror to reflect the sun over the mountain to get a bit more daylight.
Back to Japan where the University of Tokyo has made a conductive plastic sheet. Sounds boring? Think outlet wallpaper. No more pluggin stuff in, just hang that tv on the wall and its good to go. The noteworthy part is that this material only routes power to the place where an object is demanding it, not the entire sheet.
Sneaky solar roofing. No longer do you have to ruin the aesthetics of your home to harness the sun with a big black box. Its kinda like using solar tiles in addition to the normal tiles.
Pro baseball players start professional video gamer league. Ummm... what? You're good at baseball, and its boring enough just watching you do that. You really think I'm gonna hang around watching you suck it up at Gran Tourismo?
I've said it before: Solar tech is only getting better. 16% more energy with 50% of the area. (wait isn' t that just 32% more energy with the same area?)
Guy gets caught cheating at chess via blue-tooth headset in India. It took 18 months, but they finally caught on that his huge hat covered his ears was more than a lucky charm.
California is looking to take the title of largest wind producer away from Texas. They have plans for a new 1500 Megawatt facility that'll get the job done.
The Bush admin has instructed Grand Canyon personal not to tell visitors how old the landmark is because that would eliminate the possibility that it was created by Noah's Flood. Seriously? We're not allowed to tell people about the factual evidence because it might upset them? Maybe this is why the majority of our country doesn't believe in evolution and fantasizes about their sisters at night. No child left behind means every child is the stupidest child in America. I bet GeeDub was a stupid child.
Anyway, I know you've been saddened by the lack of posts lately. But I've been sick which doesn't really make you want to read about trivial crap all day. Its not an excuse, just a reason. Lets see if I can't find some dumb stuff for you. Oh good I've got like 20 things that seem like old news because they happened last year. Whatever, its new to you.
Sydney (AU, not MO) is going to pull a Mr. Burns this year and pull the plug at the end of march so that its citizens can see what dark is really like. Pretty sweet.The Japanese are using a bustrain that rides on rail and roads. The tireless wheels retract like that truck in Lethal Weapon 4. Or maybe in Die Hard 3, I can't remember.
This small town is tired of being out in the dark. Especially so in the winter when they get less sunlight than your unmentionables. So they've built a big-ass mirror to reflect the sun over the mountain to get a bit more daylight.
Back to Japan where the University of Tokyo has made a conductive plastic sheet. Sounds boring? Think outlet wallpaper. No more pluggin stuff in, just hang that tv on the wall and its good to go. The noteworthy part is that this material only routes power to the place where an object is demanding it, not the entire sheet.
Sneaky solar roofing. No longer do you have to ruin the aesthetics of your home to harness the sun with a big black box. Its kinda like using solar tiles in addition to the normal tiles.
Pro baseball players start professional video gamer league. Ummm... what? You're good at baseball, and its boring enough just watching you do that. You really think I'm gonna hang around watching you suck it up at Gran Tourismo?
I've said it before: Solar tech is only getting better. 16% more energy with 50% of the area. (wait isn' t that just 32% more energy with the same area?)
Guy gets caught cheating at chess via blue-tooth headset in India. It took 18 months, but they finally caught on that his huge hat covered his ears was more than a lucky charm.
California is looking to take the title of largest wind producer away from Texas. They have plans for a new 1500 Megawatt facility that'll get the job done.
The Bush admin has instructed Grand Canyon personal not to tell visitors how old the landmark is because that would eliminate the possibility that it was created by Noah's Flood. Seriously? We're not allowed to tell people about the factual evidence because it might upset them? Maybe this is why the majority of our country doesn't believe in evolution and fantasizes about their sisters at night. No child left behind means every child is the stupidest child in America. I bet GeeDub was a stupid child.
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